Monday, December 31, 2007

Zombie CAPTAIN AMERICA loses his head courtesy of MAGNETO: As seen in MARVEL ZOMBIES #1!The upcomg SECRET WARS ON INFINITE EARTHS: MONTHLY PUNCH-UP 2007 ANNUAL, [online January 1st, 2008], contains so much information, discussion, and awesome, it has been deemed potentially dangerous by scientific review.

Certain precautions and preperations should be observed well in advance, should you wish to brave the deadly lure of such features as; The 2007 Top Ten, 2007 Super Stock Report, Spider-Boycott: 2008, Top Rating Teams, Top Rating Creators, and the final results of Street Fighter Sundays!

Pre-Annual Preperation Tips:
- A hearty New Year's breakfast rich in protein and carbohydrates will ensure the longevity and endurance necessary to get through the Annual.
- Available fluids to allow for constant hydration to sponsor the afformentioned endurance.
- Thorough muscle warm-up and stretching is recommended to avoid strain or injury, with warm-downs recommended to ensure the same safetys. The Infinite Wars 2007 Annual is believed to be particularly dangerous for it's ability to strike a reader on so many levels, it leaves them to walk away, only to have their brain explode out of the head later in the day.
Warm-downs will reduce the risk of spontaneous brain explosion.

Above all else, be certain to have your affairs in order, and face your destiny without fear.
As the Man-Thing will be present, those experiencing extreme fear or anxiety will be asked to remain in the Cover to Cover section of the website, to avoid the potentially liable searing of flesh.

If you have any pre-existing conditions, a history of heart failure, or any metals contained within your body, please seek the advice of a physician, or mystic, before proceeding.
From everyone here at Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, we thank you for your participation in the Infinite Wars, and will fondly remember you, should things go wrong.

Also, if you want a guaranteed clean bill of health, surrender your wife.

Yours Sincerey,
Aron, the Renegade Watcher

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