Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sometimes you wouldn't know it looking, but Hulk doesn't spend all of his time smacking around the heroes of the Marvel Universe. Actually, you'd be hard pressed to find a hero the Hulk hasn't shared some good times with! Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Thing, Namor, Spidey, even Wolverine, who made his first famous appearance in Incredible Hulk #181 as ol' green genes' adversary!

In fact; Hulk hasn't just palled around a bit to try to get six degrees from Adam Warlock! No, sir! Hulk has been so chummy with some of these guys that he's actually held residence with everyone from the Avengers, to the Defenders, to the Fantastic Four (sort of)!

Okay, so some of these aren't exactly in the regular Marvel universe, but what the heck? These days apparently if it's good enough for shellhead [C2C: Invincible Iron Month (Round 2)], it's good enough for Hulk too! So, here's just a small sampling of the Hulk's alliances, as combatively revealed in the annals of the Infinite Wars!

Defenders #43 (January 1977)
"The World is Mine!" Conway/Giffen/Janson

He might've been dead for a couple of decades now, but back in the day Egghead was more than just a curvatious evil genius. Did you know he was able to single-handedly dismantle both Hulk and Valkyrie? We're talking she-Thor straight-up Valkyrie, too! None of this Ultimate models in t-shirts crap!

Hulk might get dished up pretty quickly, ambushed whilst looking for an elusive Dr. Strange (who had his own problems), but that doesn't mean the Hulk's a waste of space. In fact, if you think about it four-dimensionally, without Hulk, Cobalt-Man would've self-destructed in New York City, instead of holding out to take out the Eggman.

Okay, I just spoiled the ending, but at least all you Hulkamaniacs can go to sleep with your heads held high. Y'know... Until you sleep...

Marvel versus DC #3 (April 1996)
"The Showdown of the Century!" David/Jurgens

This is an entry about Hulk's team-ups, so you're probably wondering what the hell I'm doing posting his battle with Superman. Hey, that's why I distribute the facts around here, chief! This isn't about Hulk's battle with Superman, but rather his brief team-up!

The Hulkster may have done his best to bash around the invincible last son of Krypton, but this was during Hulk's intelligent phase. Well, I say intelligent. He still had undercut, so he wasn't that brilliant, but I digress... The Hulk and Supes teamed up to take out two prominent villains!

The first to suffer the super-powered double-team was Metallo, who thought stirring up shit before a universe-saving fight was a good idea. Yeah, probably not Superman at his most patient. Then there was the Moleman's invasion of the Batcave, which was also quashed by the unlikely duo! Y'think Supes has the same calming effect Sentry has on Hulk?

Marvel Zombies #1 (February 2006)
"Marvel Zombies" Kirkman/Phillips

In the absence of sport, there's probably one thing men can agree on: food! Such is a law that's never been truer than when the legions of Marvel superheroes found themselves transformed into living dead!

When an interdimensional interloper crashlands in this version of the Marvel Universe, he brings with him an unstoppable zombie plague capable of affecting powerful heroes like the Fantastic Four, Thor, Hulk, and even the perpetually healing, Wolverine!

As we all well know, garden variety zombies are the kind of nuisance that'll take months to eradicate, but when they've got the proportinate speed and strength of a Spider, or the rage-triggered ability to turn into a giant green monster? You can kiss humanity goodbye!...

Marvel Zombies #3 (April 2006)
"Marvel Zombies" Kirkman/Phillips

... Or inhumanity, for that matter!

Hulk proves to be a powerful ally in the search for satisfaction for the stomachs of the Marvel Zombies! When Galactus makes a late entry into this world's Milky Way, the Silver Surfer leads the charge in what is destined to be the most ironic defeat suffered in comics. Yes, that's right! Jade jaws proves mighty enough to bite his way through the cosmic foil coating that keeps Norrin Radd's gooey centre fresh!

Being pals with the Hulk, especially when he's a zombie, is a bit like being a goon for the kid who steals everybody's lunch money. You get to pick up the crums... and the bully kid ends up massively overweight in his late twentys, with a receding hairline. That's karma, people!

Marvel Adventures: Avengers #9 (March 2007)
"A Not-So-Beautiful Mind" Parker/Santacruz

Hey, speaking of being massively overweight with a hairline...

... Turning into zombies isn't the only thing the Avengers get up to when they aren't saving the world! When Hulk and the gang go up against the machinations of MODOK and the evil scientists of Advanced Idea Mechanics, they suffer a fate worse than death!

MODOK - a super-genius whose head is so big he's confined to a hi-tech hovering toilet - accidentally turns Earth's mightiest heroes into sinister mirror images of his own twisted visage. Not a bad way to turn the sympathies of your enemy, but as MODOK soon discovers, the Avengers become an even bigger problem than before!

Intent only on the kid-friendly acronym of Conquest, the all-new MODvengers go about turning the tables on the villains, and setting a course for contempt-sponsored domination over the idiots of Earth! I hear that, lousy pinheads!

No comments: