Secret Wars on Infinite Earths: The Comic Book Fight Club

QUICK FIX: JOKER vs BATMAN
Christmas with the Joker (DC)
Where: Batman Ep.2 When: September 1992
Why: Eddie Gorodetsky & Kent Butterworth How: Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, & Loren Lester

THE TAPE...
Strength: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Draw 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting: Batman 5 (Martial Arts)
Energy: Batman 4 (Arsenal)

Math: Batman
Ranking: Batman (#1)

THE FIX...
It was the night before Christmas, and Joker was free,
Having escaped Arkham Asylum, he hijacked the TV!
He kidnapped some guests, for his broadcast event,
A commissioner, detective, and reporter, were present.

In a sprint across the city, the dynamic duo came,
to protect the innocent, and foil Joker's evil game.
A train and cannon, they nearly caused disaster,
but Batman prevailed, fighting toward their master!

The Joker was waiting, when the heroes arrived,
pulling at levers, to unleash his grand surprise.
Giggling, he spun a record, from Nutcracker Suite,
leaving robotic toy soldiers, for Batman to defeat.

His goons beaten, Joker pulled back the curtain,
revealing hostages dangling, whose peril was certain!
With scissor to rope, the clown prince did leer,
and a gift in hand, to spread Christmas cheer.

He tossed the package, into Batman's waiting hand,
with an order to open it, to conclude his nasty plan.
Object and discourage, though Robin did try,
the Dark Knight detective, got a face full of pie!

The Joker burst out laughing, to see such fun,
but he still cut the rope, and proceeded to run!
Batman lept into action, to save the falling few,
intercepting their path, right above a boiling stew!

Batman made pursuit, to prevent further harm,
but with Joker in custody, he fell for false arms!
The villain made haste, as he fled for the stairs,
running toward certain doom, blissfully unawares!

Taunting all the way, Joker made for an escape,
never stopping to notice, a stray rollerskate.
Joker slipped over the rail, in a scene of familiarity,
rescued from his fall, by an act of Bat-charity.
What is it about the Joker and Christmas that seems so fitting?
I figure if we're going to be running this far behind, we might as well make it worthwhile. Hence, not skipping over Christmas, which was my initial intention.

These initial episodes of the much revered animated series really don't do it justice, but there's something undeniably fun about the Joker causing mayhem during the holidays. Live on television, no less! It's this subtlety that I would pick up on in the lead-up toward our (obvious) Dark Knight review.

A commandeered television signal seems like a staple of the Joker's arsenal, and like so much in the two Nolan Bat-films, it gets a suitably logical update in the recent film as hostage tapes. It's a little detail that hadn't really dawned on me until sitting down to think about this instalment, and it's much appreciated.
We are, unfortunately, all too familiar with hostage/terrorist tapes in this era, and it makes for an elegant solution to maintaining a sense of reality within the context of familiar Joker strategums.

Thus, we leave you with this cheery thought on our late Christmas entry! Stay tuned as we continue to astound you with feats of time travel!

Fight: 4 Episode: 4
Winner: Batman

Need to catch-up on your Bat-history? Missed those early episodes? Why not treat yourself to a late Christmas gift by picking up the first DVD set, or the complete collection, via Amazon? Not only do you benefit from the convenience of their low prices and shipping, but also help sponsor future entries in the Infinite Wars. Hussah!