SECRET DEFENDERS versus FANTASTIC FOUR

Suddenly... The Secret Defenders (Marvel)
Where: Fantastic Four #374 When: March 1993
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Paul Ryan

The Story So Far...
When Johnny Storm was caught alone in a surprise ambush by Paibok the Power Skrull, Lyja, and Devos The Destroyer -- he unleashed the full force of his nova blast in a last ditch effort to survive!

The desperate tactic left nearby Empire State University in scorched ruins, earning the ire of a public who believes Human Torch's flaming assault was a reckless act of endangerment.

With the rest of the Fantastic Four preoccupied -- and mercenaries taking to the streets to hunt The Torch down -- his old friend Spider-Man seeks the aide of Doctor Strange to assemble a familiar team to bring him in peacefully. With a simple astral projection the erstwhile New Fantastic Four are reunited!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Spider-Man 4 (???)
Stamina: Wolverine 6 (Generator)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Human Torch 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Spider-Man 29 (Metahuman)

The Secret Defenders are: Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Ghost Rider, with Doctor Strange.

The concept of the original "non-team" was taken to its ultimate conclusion when Doctor Strange began recruiting disparate heroes for missions as the Secret Defenders. Spider-Man seeks his assistance to re-assemble a quartet once gathered to operate as the avenging "New Fantastic Four".

The Fantastic Four are: Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and Thing, with Ms. Marvel.

The long running relationship between Spider-Man and the classic FF has seen him play friend and "frenemy" to the Human Torch. We saw them fight side-by-side in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #4, Spider-Man Family #3, and Amazing Spider-Man #600, but rivalry got the better of them in Fantastic Four #543!

The FF also has a legendary history with the Hulk, starting with their first face-off in Fantastic Four #12! Much of the rivalry boils down to testing Hulk's strength against the Thing, who's also developed tensions with Wolverine.

Today's issue is where the true bad blood developed between them, but Thing & Wolverine also shared an earlier exchange in Contest of Champions #3, and extended their battles with an all-out war in Wolverine #22!

The overlapping dynamics between all the players on both teams are almost as intriguing as the general parallels between two versions of the FF.

Hulk and Thing are obvious strongmen, but this is a time when Bruce Banner's brilliant mind controls Hulk. His genius rivals Mister Fantastic within his field, while Spider-Man's webs and Ghost Rider's chains loosely approximate his elasticated reach. Ghost Rider's hellfire draws obvious parallel to Human Torch, but as we saw in Ghost Rider/Blaze: Spirits of Vengeance #6, its properties are very different.

Spider-Man and Ghost Rider can also roughly approximate the defensive projections of Invisible Woman, but it may be Wolverine who best inverts her role, providing penetrating blades in place of invisible force fields. He can also sniff out any invisibility with his keen senses.

In Wolverine #22 she stopped him cold by blocking his airways, but the same trick didn't work in the alternate reality rematch of What If? Wolverine: Enemy of the State. Sue Storm is on the edge of her Malice personality at this time, so the gloves certainly could come off. We saw her cause a lot of problem for the X-Men as one of Ahab's Hounds in X-Men Annual #14. She was pushed to lethal extremes when defending her family in Fantastic Four (Vol.3) #2, too.

Doctor Strange is here as an astral projection as in Strange Tales #111 and Marvel Adventures #14, but has no magical foe to interact with. That makes Ms. Marvel a bit of an x-factor, adding a second heavyweight to the FF.

Sharon Ventura is a former stuntwoman and Thing's ex-girlfriend who received super-human strength enhancements during her career with Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation. She later mutated into the erstwhile "She-Thing", but was cured of her rocky affliction in Fantastic Four #350. She left the group after they encountered Justice Peace in Fanatstic Four #354, but returned as a mole indebted to Doctor Doom for her cure.

Ms. Marvel is double tough, but will that be enough to tip the scales in favour of the classic Fantastic Four? It's about time we just dived in to find out!

The Tape: Secret Defenders Ranking: Spider-Man (#2)

What Went Down...
Pursued by Skrull adversaries and angry bounty hunters: Johnny Storm has had little time to refresh himself. The scent of the chase betrays him as the keen senses of Wolverine detect the young hero hidden within a decrepit building.

The Secret Defenders don't quite share Spider-Man's understanding. Hulk gives the young hero an ultimatum: walk out with them - or be carried out!

Incensed, but knowing he's clearly outgunned, the Human Torch sends a flare out the window to draw the rest of the searching Fantastic Four to his location. He then bursts into flames, leaping into the air to avoid the lashing chain of Ghost Rider, and stray webs slung by Spider-Man!

The evasive maneuvers give Human Torch a chance to return fire. Shocked that his old friend Spider-Man would betray him, he hurls his flame in the web-slinger's direction. Spidey leaps clear and pleads his case for wanting to help.

Hulk is much less concerned, slamming his hands together to send a shockwave that smothers Johnny's flame and knocks him clean out of the air!

The green goliath looms over a smoldering Johnny Storm, wanting to avoid more mindless fisticuffs. The decision is taken out of his hands as a rocky finger taps his shoulder -- followed with the fist of The Thing against his jade jaw!

The Fantastic Four file into the urban space ready to defend their comrade!

Spider-Man again hopes to talk it out, but Wolverine insists the time for diplomacy has passed. His hostility is met with the pliable, bending body of Mister Fantastic, who stretches around him and vows that Johnny will surrender himself peacefully to the appropriate authorities.

Ghost Rider sees Invisible Woman raising her hands and attempts to intervene, but his shuriken flinging chain hits only the force field she was conjuring up.

Her invisible bubbles also form around Wolverine's clawed fists, defending the malleable body of her husband from any unlikely punctures. The married couple share terse gratitude, their own turmoil simmering behind their teamwork.

Leaping to defend his sister: Human Torch ignites again -- and bathes Ghost Rider in an unrelenting stream of flame!

The mortal burning proves ineffective against one who is already engulfed with the unearthly inferno of hellfire. Ghost Rider explains his non-lethal attack as he stares coldly with the permanent grin of his exposed skull.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man does his best to keep one step ahead of the super-strong fists of Ms. Marvel. She swings wildly, smashing through a support pillar as Spidey pinballs from surface to surface -- and catches her with webs!

Thing ducks a wild left from Hulk, and questions how the former rampaging brute could be anything but understanding of Johnny's current predicament.

Hulk retorts that it's his extensive experiences with collateral damage that drives him to prevent anyone else from repeating his unthinking past!

The Thing connects with a right hand deep in the mid-section, but his low stance leaves him vulnerable to an overhead hammer fist! Hulk's powerful blow knocks Thing clean through the floor and sends him plummeting down multiple levels!

Hulk then sets his sights on Mister Fantastic, who's proven capable of stretching around Wolverine's probing adamantium claws. Hulk's massive hand grips Mister Fantastic by the vest and whips him off like a loose sheet from a bed!

The X-Man is quickly besieged by Invisible Woman, who smashes him with an invisible force field that sends him hurtling backwards through the air. It provokes a rapid response as he rushes back with claws at the ready to test the impenetrability of her famous defenses.

Adamantium barely connects with invisible projection as Thing returns to the battle and grabs Wolverine from behind! He uses his incredible strength to powerslam Wolverine into the ground with a single hand. The mutant reacts!

Animal instinct takes over as Wolverine savagely slashes his adamantium claws towards his attacker! The unrestrained assault sickeningly carves through Thing's rocky face. It's like nothing the travelled hero has ever experienced!

The Thing howls in agony -- clutching at his wounded cheek as his body lurches in shock. The chilling scene snaps Wolverine back to his senses. He searches for reason, knowing he's gone too far. Thing responds with an uncaring fist!

The power of Thing's furious blow sends Wolverine smashing through untold walls as his airborne body careens into another neighbouring building.

Invisible Woman, Ms. Marvel, and Mister Fantastic rush to their teammate's side. Reed ensnares Hulk with his elastic body while desperately declaring Thing needs immediate medical attention.

Only Human Torch continues fighting --  caught in Ghost Rider's otherworldly chain!

The Spirit of Vengeance blames the young hero for the burning of Empire State University -- and the subsequent grim fate that has now befallen The Thing.

The chain squeezes The Torch's throat until his flame subsides. Ghost Rider swats him to the ground with the backhand of his fist, and prepares to unleash the torment of Johnny's own sins with the dreaded penance stare.

Suddenly a blast of energy forces the demonic hero away from his target!

Lyja The Lazerfist arrives just in time to defend her ex-husband -- even though she was one of the Skrulls who started his troubles!

She joins the Fantastic Four as they huddle together, standing back to five other backs, with the Secret Defenders closing in to surround them.

It seems battle is about to begin anew when a blinding light suddenly engulfs the Fantastic Four and their allies!

In the blink of an eye the sextet vanishes! Wolverine's sense of smell confirms they haven't been made invisible by Susan Storm. The sudden disappearance leaves Doctor Strange to contemplate their uncertain fate. An end, of sorts.

The Hammer...
Another famous fight goes on the record! It's reputation is largely built on the face-off between the "New Fantastic Four" and their classic counterparts, and the far reaching consequence of Wolverine's savage lapse of care.

His slash will scar Thing for the next few years, but I wonder how many readers know that the fight actually ended with an inconclusive result. Thing is injured, but still standing at the ready with his team, when the issue comes to an end.

If that wasn't tenacious enough: The next issue reveals the Fantastic Four were transported to the moon base of Uatu, The Watcher. There, Thing almost immediately engages in yet another brawl -- taking a face full of metal fist before he clobbers a rampaging alien robot! That's before he even finds the protective metal helmet he'll be wearing for the next year or so!

Fantastic Four #375 is also where we first witness the gruesome disfigurement of his face. The wound is significant, exposing fleshy tissue along his brow and cheek. It isn't stomach churning on the page, but the reality would seem much more shocking. His helmet was unpopular, but at least protects him.

On the one hand, it's an interesting milestone for the characters involved. On the other, it's surprising that such a consequential event would come from an otherwise typical case of superheroes fighting over a misunderstanding.

The reader certainly knows Johnny Storm hasn't gone rogue. Unlike the catalytic event of Civil War; the Empire State University compound wasn't destroyed by negligence. Johnny wrestled with his actions, fighting as long as he could to give students and faculty a chance to clear the area, before he went nova.

Human Torch's predicament came about as a result of long running plotlines involving Lyja and Paibok. FF #374 is the third issue to deal with the fallout, which highlights a general crisis of conscience that won't plague Wolverine.

I have to think Wolverine expressed a sense of responsibility, if not guilt, at some point in his solo series, or another X-title. I just don't remember it happening. I think it might've been absorbed into more general struggles with his animalistic urges and rage, which became a central plot years later.

The most significant follow-up I can recall is Fantastic Four #395: a 1995 issue that promises "payback" and an epic rematch on the cover, but actually delivers a team-up with Ant-Man, and a burying of the hatchet for Thing and Wolverine.

My best guess is that it remained a one-sided issue because of editorial lines at the time. It seems like an idea initiated by the Fantastic Four office with the intent to tell Fantastic Four stories. The X-offices might've given their blessing, but probably had their hands full with other on-going storylines at the time.

1993 was a pretty big year for Wolverine and the X-Men.

The animated series was on a fast track to becoming a global multimedia phenomenon, and in comics you had long and winding storylines happening every month in Wolverine, X-Men, and Uncanny X-Men. Half a year after this, Fatal Attractions begins, and Wolverine has his own wounds to heal when Magneto strips the adamantium from his skeleton in X-Men #25.

It might've been interesting if Thing got his rematch while Wolverine had bone claws, but the brutality of hero-on-hero violence has already been a little weird.

Keep in mind: this is all happening a decade before Marvel heroes were routinely maiming and killing each other. Breaking Wolverine's claws was a moment reserved instead for an uber-nineties arch-nemesis: the metallic Cyber.

Of course, lets not overlook the 90s saturation of the assembly we have before us. The entire concept of the "New Fantastic Four" feels very much of that time, frivolously throwing together popular characters with almost no natural ties.

I'm actually a fan of the restraint they showed by only featuring this quarter a total of four issues, including this one. That always managed to keep the legend of the "New Fantastic Four" special. Going to that well too many times could've been a little tacky. As it stands, their reunion in Fantastic Four #374 would feel completely perfunctory if it wasn't for the on-going story of Thing's injury.

Sue Storm's extensively derided swimsuit costume also glows with the ills of the era, far more offensively than Mister Fantastic's dubious fishing vest.

There's something to be said for the logic of the outfit being rooted in the encroaching persona of Malice, but I was never the biggest fan of frequenting that idea, either. Not to be confused with the other Malice persona that turns Polaris into a screaming she-devil. We get it, guys... Menstruation!

It doesn't look like this issue is currently available in any collected formats, but you can find the first team-up of Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, and Ghost Rider in the Epic Collection: Fantastic Four - The New Fantastic Four. Use the Amazon link provided for all your shopping and you'll not only get yourself a great deal -- but also support the site at no extra cost!

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 600 fights and ranked more than 950 characters! If you like what its all about and want to make it a little easier to keep the fight going you can get involved with Patreon. The lowest tier unlocks extra updates, poll options, and my eternal gratitude!

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Winners: Inconclusive (Draw)
#2 (--) Spider-Man
#4 (--) Wolverine
#6 (--) Hulk
#10 (--) Mister Fantastic
#12 (--) Thing
#13 (--) Human Torch
#14 (--) Invisible Woman
#151 (+16) Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
#399 (+2) Ghost Rider (Dan Ketch)
#161 (+5) Lyja [+1 assist]

FANTASTIC FOUR versus PAIBOK
Whatever happened to Alicia?! (Marvel comics)
Where: Fantastic Four #358 When: November 1991
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Paul Ryan

The story so far...
After the Beyonder's secret war, the Fantastic Four's Thing opted to stay behind and continue his adventures. It was this act that nearly put a vital snafu to a secret plan launched by the Skrulls to infiltrate their enemies team.

Posing as Thing's blind girlfriend, Alicia Masters, the Skrull soldier named Lyja was forced to take a harsh turn, steering the affections of the Masters girl to an unlikely suitor -- Johnny Storm!

When Thing returned he eventually learned to live with the loss of his love, and was witness to the marriage vows of Johnny and Alicia, or so they thought. With Lyja revealed, the furious Johnny Storm leads the Fantastic Four on a mission to space to retrieve the captive Alicia, but little does he know the overseeing officer in the matter is a Skrull familiar, yet very different...

Previous Form:
Fantastic Four [#2]: Victories over Frightful Four, Iconoclast, Super-Skrull & Annihilus.
Lyja (#178): Lent Mr. Fantastic the assist against Sub-Mariner.
Paibok: Making his first appearance in the Infinite Wars.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Thing 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Paibok 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thing 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting Ability: Thing 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Human Torch 7 (Solar Power)


What's so familiar about Paibok you say? No? Think all Skrulls look alike?
Yeah, well, I've met your kind, and frankly I don't much care for it! Y'see, there are Skrulls who distinguish themselves through dangerous procedures. Procedures that bestow them with fantastic new abilities!

Kl'rt, the Super-Skrull, is the most familiar of these engineered Skrulls with the powers and abilities of the Fantastic Four. There is, however, another such soldier. One with powers comparable of X-Men -- Paibok, the Power Skrull!

Paibok's powers are fairly simple, but not to be discounted.
He can control and manipulate the formation of ice (ala Iceman), fire bolts of electricity (ala Storm), and has super strength and all that comes with it by way of the ability to change his skin into organic metal (ala Colossus).

I'm running a couple of days late, and it's just been an hour or so of the Blogger server being down, so I won't ramble on too much.

Lyja, having lived among them, is sympathetic to the Fantastic Four's plight, accompanying them fairly willingly to the Skrull station where Alicia Masters has been held. Though they are a fantastic five, Paibok easily overcomes the numbers advantage with a veritable army of Skrull soldiers on board.

The FF are pretty experienced with sweeping up swarms of Skrulls, and have earned their cosmic stripes slapping guys like Kl'rt around, so I'm probably going to have to say they're the better option.

Paibok's powers are impressive, but against a guy who has the effective properties of rubber (Mr. Fantastic), a guy with Hulk-level strength (Thing), and a guy who's made of flame (Human Torch).

The Math: Fantastic Four (Total) Paibok (Average)
The Pick: Fantastic Four (w/ Lyja)

What went down...
Powering to the andromeda galaxy aboard one of Reed Richards' spaceships, the Fantastic Four head for one of the many Skrull imperial ships. Arriving on board, they strip from their suits, ready to raise some hell!

The shape changing Skrulls imitate various alien animals and monsters, their efforts in vein, as the Fantastic Four do what they've done so many times before. The Torch burns them down; Mr. Fantastic wraps some Skrulls up and disarms them; Invisible Woman knocks some Skrulls out with her helmet under the veil of invisibility; and the Thing does what Thing does best -- clobber!


To the shock of the suspicious Human Torch, Lyja takes a gun from one of her fellow Skrulls and turns it against them, much to the horror of her commanding officer, Paibok, who watches from a control room.

The Skrulls mysteriously clear the deck, conveniently clearing a path for a massive rocky ball of ice! The descending chunk ushers in the arrival of Paibok - the Power Skrull - riding atop a platform of ice!

He leaps into the air, flying toward the team, where Mr. Fantastic steps up almost literally with his stretching ability. Wrapping his elastic arms around two jutting structures, he absorbs Paibok's forward momentum and flings him backward like a Skrull-borne slingshot!

Paibok flies through his flight path, coming back around for another attack.
Mr. Fantastic again engages the Power Skrull, using his outstretched arms to tie Paibok up, unprepared for an electric charged shock! His arms snap back, as he flees the flying Paibok who continues to blast electricity and ice.

Thing calls dibs on the Power Skrull, compelling Richards to stretch his way to the airducts, to go in search of Alicia Masters. Paibok welcomes the challenge, powering up to reveal his metallic transformation!

Thing and Paibok come to blows, Thing coming off second best to the metal plated super Skrull! Ever the hearty battler, Thing comes back for more, as Paibok reaches for a metallic column, ripping it from it's structural placing to toss at the rock-hided hero.

Thing pounds through the tech-filled column, and returns the favour to Paibok, knocking him back wit ha stiff left!
Down, but not out, Paibok resorts to his ice powers, blasting Thing at relative short range. He continues his forward march, resisting the gathering frost that builds to a thick layer of mushy snow and crystalizes to ice!

Bursting from the ice, Thing rips up the flooring right from under Paibok's feet!

Despite the attack, the tables manage to turn once more, Invisible Woman making the save for an unprepared Thing with an invisible force field!
She follows it up, encasing Paibok in an invisible force field, giving Paibok another opportunity to stretch his powerful limbs.

Revealing his bio-electricity was designed with Invisible Woman specifically in mind, he channels his power through Invisible Woman's forcefield, frying her into submission with many volts of energy!

Thing quickly comes to Susan Storm's ally, but Paibok delays their rematch, interested instead in executing the flaming brother of the Invisible Woman, who mows Skrulls down with lethal regard.

Sneaking up behind the battling hot-head, Paibok prepares to make a cowardly sneak attack from behind! Fortunately for Johnny Storm, his wife, Lyja, sees the attack coming, and continuing to grapple with her duty and her adopted him, she transforms into a Bierbeast to curtain the unrelenting electric blast!

Lyja drops to the floor motionless, finally breaking through his hate-filled conflict, to provoke the concern of her deceived husband, Johnny Storm.

Distracted by Lyja's traitorous turn, Paibok doesn't notice Thing sneaking up behind him to rip another massive column from it's barings to bring the house down! The roof crumbles atop the Power Skrull, with a morose Thing looking on with quiet distain.

Johnny Storm shares a tender moment with the dying Lyja, making peace with her and the deceptions he suffered. Though originally operating as a Skrull infiltrator, Lyja confesses her true love for the Human Torch, before fading in his arms. Her apparent death is precursor to a sudden return!

With the ship rumbling, Paibok emerges from the rubble. With the "War World" station about to reach critical mass, the Fantastic Four (under a force field produced by Invisible Woman) navigate their way back to their ship, reluctantly leaving behind the limp body of Lyja.

With Alicia Masters in his arms, Mr. Fantastic makes a rendezvous with his team at their ship, making a successful escape from the exploding space station with the rest of the team!

The hammer...
It was a close one on points, but I think you'd have to give it to the Fantastic Four! Lyja has to share in the victory, despite her apparent death at the hands of ex-jilted lover, Paibok.

It may please you to know Lyja actually survived not only Paibok's electricity, but also the explosion of the station! She returns to menace and join-up with the FF again, but as you may have noticed in the contemporary comics, Human Torch and she are estranged.

Running quite behind, I should remind everybody that this is yet another Marvel Ultimate Alliance Monday post, featuring the villains from the smash hit video game! Unfortunately, we won't be be featuring Titannus, the enhanced mutant Skrull from Robert Kirkman's Marvel Team-Up work. I neither have those issues, nor any money to buy them. If you would like to rectify that, you can scroll up the side menu and hit-up the PayPal donations site! Although, honestly, I'd probably rather buy some World War Hulk books...

I should get another thank you out to When Fangirls Attack, the index website with a vested interest in feminist and female-centric issues, cataloguing this time around our feature that discussed Jubilee [Adventures of the X-Men #7].
I've actually really enjoyed getting into a lot of the discussions and topics presented there, and you should see if there's something there for you. We here at the Infinite Wars certainly appreciate their support of our light hearted activities!

Actually, on a side note, working on the coming issues of The Kirby Martin Inquest [which is one of my reasons for being late] brought a nice opportunity to put a bit of WFA programming into practice -- adding a new prominent female character to the series. In earlier drafts there was a conceited reason to avoid female characters, but with a lot of that falling away in the final draft, I'm pleased to put a new spin on a role that would've been more typically cast as a male (a reporter).

Conveniently, the female touch actually brings with it an advantage - so that's been a nice bit of awareness rubbing off on me, and coming in very handy.
We could keep talking about women in comics, specifically damsel-in-distress syndrome with Alicia Masters here, and the weak characterization of Susan Storm. Or, we could even talk about Lyja's desperate attempts to court Johnny Storm's love, which has turned to bitter hatred -- but we won't.
I figure the fangirls only need to see so much of us. Allow them a break!

Instead, there's a prevalent issue in Marvel comics right now, and it conveniently coincides with this, and the last Ultimate Alliance post [Fantastic Four #6], and that's -- Skrulls!

If you've been reading New Avengers, or are just keeping abreast of superhero comics affairs, you'll be well aware that the Elektra who appeared as head of The Hand clan was in actual fact a disguised Skrull! [New Avengers #27]

Though intrigued and excited by the prospects of a mass infiltration of the Marvel universe, it was this issue of Fantastic Four, along with various others, that were the basis of criticisms that this simply isn't an original enough concept to be acceptable.
While the broad point stands, I think I've had the chance to rethink the issue, having reviewed some of the greater details within this issue. What's key here is that Alicia was replaced during the Secret Wars event, which begs a question providing complications for our rankings systems -- When was Elektra replaced? And by extension, when was whoever else replaced?

Issues of New Avengers: Illuminati, co-written by Brian "Nugget Loving*" Bendis and Brian Reed, detail retroactive inclusions of the secret meetings held by the Illuminati, and how their subversive strategums shaped certain subtlties in the Marvel universe. Among those was the provocation of the Skrulls, already being connected to the incursion we're seeing in contemporary Marvel stories, but could it be that the immediate follow-up, featuring The Beyonder, is the clue?

Dare we dredge up memories of the Ben Reilly Spider-Clone by implying the invasion began decades ago? Could it be that these mass switches actually occurred en masse, while the heroes were in a confused state flux having being plucked from reality by The Beyonder?!

There's also a question about the fate of the heroes that have been replaced.
Have they been lucky enough to remain in stasis somewhere in outer space, like Alicia Masters? For the sake of maintaining a copy, it's fair to assume the Skrulls would need a living reference, but you never know with these guys.

Is it not entirely possible that they've all been murdered? Or perhaps disected in the name of Skrull science, allowing them to develop the range and efficiency of how they grant special powers to the likes of Kl'rt and Paibok?

Theories for your consideration, good friends!
In the meanwhile, I should probably try to get some sleep before the sun comes up, because that's when I have to fight crime with the powers bestowed upon me by my hybrid heritage of Irish/Australian. Enter the drunken fist!

I might be doing a bit of retroactive revisions myself, trying to insert some of the many reviews of interest I've missed over the past couple of days. Continuing the free-flowing, interest based discussion of these entries, there's a lot to get to, and I'm finally keen to take a look at a couple of DC features, so fingers crossed I get to do that!

Thanks again to Women In Comics, and hopefully we'll continue to have a positive association with them, providing our own unique skew on women in comics. You'll certainly be seeing more at the end of the week, as we take a look at a certain X-Men classic mentioned in a previous entry.

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4.5
[Square-bound, giant sized, and with a circular hole in the cover exposing the 4? The only thing tragic about THIS comic is the price tag -- $2.50US. Cheaper than most twenty-two page comics. Oh the agony! A great issue, with lots of bonus materials, including a fun little Dr. Doom short -- about retroactive continuity!]

* Not an actual nickname for Bendis.

MR. FANTASTIC versus SUB-MARINER
Settling the Score With the Sub-Mariner! (Marvel comics)
Where: Fantastic Four #412 When: May 1996
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Paul Ryan

The story so far...
Reed Richards has returned from the dead, but his sudden resurrection has not healed the wounds exposed in his absence. When his wife Susan, the Invisible Woman, sustains injury after exerting herself in battle against a hallucinating Black Bolt, the turmoil begins.

The Sub-Mariner, having spent time with the Fantastic Four in Richards' absence, is quick to impose himself on Richards' presence. Untrusting of the medical analysis of surface world doctors, Namor is intent on taking the injured Susan Richards to his own facilities at Atlantis. He calls for her to denounce the weak and indecisive man they rescued.

Such claims are enough to incite the wrath of world's foremost genius, but he is met only with further arrogance from the undersea monarch. Playing to decades of tension between the two, Richards sees to put an end to their romantic feud.

Previous Form:
Mr. Fantastic (#12): Single handedly defeated Red Ghost & The Super Apes.
Sub-Mariner (#19): Victories over Tiger Shark, Magneto, X-Men & Attuma.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Sub-Mariner 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Sub-Mariner 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Sub-Mariner 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting Ability: Sub-Mariner 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Draw 1 (None)


Brute strength and royal arrogance, versus inventive genius and stretchy invulnerability! Though they have very little in common, these guys are anything but opposites. Together they find common ground here on Secret Earths!

These are two characters that have been talked about previously and recognised for the versatility of their abilities. Mr. Fantastic's maleability makes him a formless and incredibly diverse offensive fighter, and when he's inclined to put his brilliant mind to devisive action, he's really potentially one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel Universe.

Likewise, Namor's strengths seem to know no bounds! He has the versatility of being able to take the fight to the air, travel at high speeds, withstand physical and mental attacks to incredible degree -- and if you're near water, you may as well just kiss your keister goodbye, assuming you have that much time!

Perhaps most interesting about this scenario is the fact that the Sub-Mariner's Hulk-challenging strength is of minimal advantage here. Due to the nature of Mr. Fantastic's rubbery disposition, it's awfully difficult to gain much from punching him. Which provides us with a convenient segue to Reed Richards' greatest key to victory: Time!

Though it tends to flucture, it's undisputable that given enough time away from the ocean, Sub-Mariner will begin to fatigue and dehydrate and proportionately become weaker and weaker. Generally we like to lean toward the more extreme end of the Namor tape, so it's unlikely that many fights are going to go long enough for this to be a viable option, but it's always something to consider.

On the flipside, the Fantastic Four operate out of Manhattan, which is conveniently girt by sea, being the manmade island and all. So, as far as taking the advantage, the Sub-Mariner has plenty of opportunity to fly rubber-chops to the coast and take it from there.

The Math: Sub-Mariner (Meta Class)
The Pick: Sub-Mariner

What went down...
Enraged by Namor's arrogant interference, Mr. Fantastic spins into a bearded jealous rage! With a super-sized stretchy fist he punches the Atlantean moncarch clean out of Four Freedom's Plaza! Though Sue Storm attempts to defend the surly Atlantean, informing Richards that he recently lost his kingdom, Mr. Fantastic is having none of it! He leaps out the window, stretching himself into a human-glader, as the Sub-Mariner recovers in the streets below.

"Beware, Richards! You have neither the heart nor the courage..."
The Sub-Mariner rips up the already cracked street below him, tossing it into the air! The floating Mr. Fantastic is caught in a volley of debris and rubble, doing his best to maneuver his stretching between the gaps.

As innocent bystanders flee from the all too familiar image of a rampaging Sub-Mariner, Mr. Fantastic braces himself for an incoming automobile!

Stretching himself into a coil, Mr. Fantastic absorbs the impact of the vehicle like a giant spring, and sends it hurtling back from whence it came.
The speedy Sub-Mariner is more than capable, ducking the car to leave it to collide with other stationary vehicles.

"A man who thinks he looks fashionable in swim trunks and a pony-tail... Has no business criticizing others!"

While I whole heartedly disagree with Mr. Fantastic's remarks, he does well to punctuate them, snagging two street lamps to propel himself like a giant slingshot, feet-first into the Atlantean-Human hybrid.

Realising the need for strategy, Mr. Fanatstic puts his brilliant mind to analyzing the facts. Fully aware that the chances of exhausting Namor are slim to none, he makes the decision to use his attack to try to keep his opponent on the backfoot.

Hoping to keep the balance in his favour, Richards moves in at close quarters, wrapping his elastic body around the Sub-Mariner's. Even Namor has no choice but to acknowledge the tremendous pressure a contracting Mr. Fantastic produces, but for one who regularly traverses the greatest depths of the sea, it has little lasting effect.

The battle continues with little or no regard for the passing bystanders, as Namor pursues the shifting tides of battle through the window of a nearby department store!

More inclined to put his own motivations aside, Reed Richards finally pays mind to the safety of those surrounding.

On his back, Mr. Fantastic stretches his fist into a giant club and knocks the charging Sub-Mariner into a rack of jackets, using the opportunity to try to lead the battle to a safer scene.

Believing Mr. Fantactic's tactics to be an act of cowardice, the Sub-Mariner gladly follows the bouncing ball out of the department store, and down into the Manhattan subway system.

Looking to escape the urban sprawl, Mr. Fantastic stretches his way onto a passing train. The Sub-Mariner's fantastic powers of flight make little work of making up the time lost, catching up to Richards as they exit into an elevated area of track.

In spite of his brutish indulgence in this macho display of fisticuffs, Richards denies the Sub-Mariner's call for the victor to take Susan. Whether or not it's out of realization of Sub-Mariner's inevitable superiority in battle, or just chivalry, IS OPEN TO DEBATE!

Richards again flees, stretching his arms out to become a human balloon style structure, catching the air beneath him as he floats gingerly down to a nearby construction site. There, he agrees to engage Namor in final battle, willing to cause willful property damage, but not civilan casualty.

Stretching his arm out, Richards swings it around at speed, generating a gust of wind that pushes Namor from the air to ground. Even still, it is no match for Namor's strength, which retaliates by hurling a massive coil of cable from the site.

As the woman over whom they battle, Sue Richards, arrives on the scene with Lyja entow, Mr. Fantastic is still using his cosmic gifts to stretch around projectiles hurled by Namor. This time, giant steel girders are the weapon of choice.

As the first lady of the FF runs onto the battlefield, both men stop in their tracks, Namor content to lower the girder from above his head.
The moment of distraction quickly passes, but Susan calls for the Sub-Mariner to end the madness. Just in case he isn't inclined to listen, the shape-shifting Skrull, Lyja, shifts herself into a Barsoomian Snow Ape, and wraps Namor up in a bearhug.

While Sue berates Richards for his macho foolishness, she at least recognises how sweet it is to see him fighting for her again - much to the entangled Namor's dismay.

With the power of the pounding surf, the Sub-Mariner breaks free of Lyja's grip and throws himself like a torpedo at Mr and Mrs Fantastic with the declaration, "If Susan be not mine... Then none my claim her!"

Richards uses his elastine body to turn Namor's berzerker momentum against him, hurling him into a pile of wooden blanks. As the Sub-Mariner emerges from the rubble he continues to spew deranged threats at the "puny human", Mr. Fantastic.

Calling for a need for uninterrupted closure, Mr. Fantastic hurls another stretched out fist, clobbering Namor to a standard that would impress even Ben Grimm!
He then continues to open a can of fantasti-whoop ass the likes of which have never been seen, all the while delivering an empassioned speech about his realised failings as a man and husband!

A thunderous echo reverberates through the sunken build-site as Mr. Fantastic lands a final blow, before recoiling from the fallen Namor in shock. He apologises to the unconscious monarch, begging him for forgiveness for his prolonged violent outburst.

With the fight over, Susan calls for Richards' attentions, needing him to return to Four Freedom's Plaza to aid the mortally wounded Inhuman, Black Bolt. Content to leave Lyja to tend to the kingdomless Sub-Mariner, they leave.

Having done so, the Sub-Mariner rises on Lyja's cue.
An experienced warrior, Lyja saw through Namor's ploy to feign insane rage. She commends him on his act of nobility, but ever the prick, Namor takes the compliment and casts the doubt of his own motivations on it, before flying away to find peace away from the Fantastic Four.

"Even the SUb-Mariner can know patience when it is his only recourse! For I am destined to return... When the Fantastic Four least expect it!"

The hammer...
Due to Namor's noble sacrifice, the winner of this bout - Mr. Fantastic! Hey, I know what you're thinking. He threw the fight!
Ah, what can we say? None's fair in love and war!

Y'know, well written or not, I always find it interesting when I come across something that provides any kind of support for the turn of character and events in Civil War. Sifting through the blogosphere's entries in the negative, it's actually surprising how many examples of precedent you come across. [Like Iron Man #312]

By no means am I about to say this sums up neatly why Reed Richards would turn on his friends and family, but it at least exposes precedent for his inner bastard. Peculiarly enough, I actually enjoyed feral Mr. Fantastic after his return from apparent death. It's been done before, and since, but with the benefit of time, it's really quite a fun little era of turmoil for Marvel's first family.

One of the most interesting things about this particular issue - which quite literally serves as little more than one giant fist fight between one of the longest standing romantic rivalries at Marvel - is the total disregard for human safety that endures even in the latter part of the fight, even after Richards has at least taken it to an off-duty construction site.

It's not very often that you see Mr. Fantastic act in such an unrefined matter, let alone when human life would be at stake. And while it devolves into madness all too familiar - [to the point where it was only when Lyja called attention to the act that I realised Namor's "puny human" line was out-of-character] - it's nice to see Namor's obscure sense of nobility in the spotlight.

As we've discussed before [X-Men #6], there is a lengthy history of writing Sub-Mariner one of a few different shades of 2D. In fact, this issue is arguably one of the more recent cases of that, but I still have to at least acknowledge that it paints two of those very flat strokes of the character -- arrogance and nobility.

I never thought I'd say it, but today's Marvel could just about use a dose of that over the top temper and arrogance right about now. With the death of Captain America, Sub-Mariner is now arguably the premiere elder statesman of the Marvel Universe, and as always he has been connected to the very heart of events occurring ranging from his cousin Namorita's death in Civil War, to his disapproval of the ejection of Hulk in Illuminati, and now even the death of Captain America, who is arguably one of the Sub-Mariner's few friends and agreed equals.

Through the majority of these events, Namor has had very little direct involvement. He strongly opposed Hulk's ejection in flashbacks, but has currently been seen swaring relative indifference to Hulk's return, taking more of a 'I toldja so' approach -- while in Civil War he joined Wolverine in the pursuit of Nitro, the man responsible for Namorita's death, despite the fact Wolverine not too long ago murdered his closest advisor, Sulumor. [New Invaders #6]

Likewise, thus far Namor has had little reaction to the death of Captain America. Granted, while Marvel combats the issues of running a cohesive universe - something the distinguised competition has been doing to widespread success - they have arguably fumbled the ball on a whole, on reaction to Cap's death.

While many of these events still have a margin of results remaining to be seen, it continues to be said that DC have arguably been doing Namor better than Namor with the arc carried by Namor-lookalike, Black Adam.

Noone wants to see the Sub-Mariner declaring random incursions of the surface world, but truly it would be nice to see some reactive, if not impulsive, reaction from the legendary hot-head. It seems once again he has become the victim of singular broad strokes, liberated of his two-dimension rages at the cost of any signs of concereted action.

Just recently I read about concepts pitched by JM Dematteis to have Captain America abandon America in times of Reagan's Cold War provocations, and lead a charge with Namor and Dr. Doom to purge the planet of war. This war on war concept might be a little radical, but it's the kind of decisive action I'd love to be seeing from the character. At the very least he could punch Black Panther.

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 3.5