Showing posts with label Thing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thing. Show all posts

Saturday, October 25, 2025

THING versus WRECKER
RAGE (Marvel)
Where:
Fantastic Four #355 When: August 1991
Why: Danny Fingeroth How: Al Milgrom

The Story So Far...
The Thing's feeling down and his funk has brought him to the Lower East Side slums of his old stomping grounds. He's so bleak he doesn't even care about the kids whipping bricks at him as he skulks toward the stairs of 7135 Yancy Street -- the apartment block he grew up in!

A new family lives there now, but after accidentally scaring the tenant, and a run-in with her feisty son Raul, it's a trip down memory lane as Ben Grimm finds himself a house guest for home cooked meal, and the adoration of little Javier Garcia.

Unfortunately for all, The Wrecker's mood hasn't been good since the passing of his mother, and after shaking down "Weasel" for information about his recently incarcerated turncoat teammate -- The Wrecker is coming to Yancy Street to bust his old buddy out of a secret secure prison cell -- and nothing's going to stop him!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Thing 3 (Straight A)
Speed: The Wrecker 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: The Wrecker 6 (Generator)
Agility: The Wrecker 2 (Average)
Fighting: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: The Wrecker 4 (Arsenal)
Total: The Wrecker 26 (Metahuman)

In our previous update we explored the role of powerhouses as mountains for an underdog to scale -- but what happens when the challenger is an equal threat?

The Thing is one of Marvel Comics' premiere bruisers! Bombarded with cosmic rays - space pilot Benjamin Grimm was transformed into a rocky monster with super-human strength, durability, endurance, and a heart of gold.

Thing defends the world from earthborn dangers and extra-terrestrial terrors as a founding member of the Fantastic FourHis adversaries typically originate from, and wield powers of, the realm of science -- so the magical enchantment that fuels The Wrecker and his crowbar will be a bit of a change of pace.

The only time we've observed Thing against a magical opponent was when Luke Cage was turned against his old friend, and Avengers teammates, by the mystic Agamotto. Thing helped subdue the possessed hero by matching his mystically enhanced strength with brute force -- something he's done countless times against some of the grandest opponents in the Marvel Universe!

The Wrecker is famously an arch-nemesis for Thor -- but don't think that puts him in a weight class significantly higher than The Thing!

With his famous indomitable will to call upon, and the keen strategy of Mister Fantastic; Thing was able to endure the crushing pressure of journeying to the center of Thor's old adversary, for a memorable defeat of Ego The Living Planet!

Thing has also matched muscle with everyone from Hulk, Rhino, Doctor DoomPaibok the Power Skrullhis own Infinity Doppelganger, Super-Skrull, The Adaptoid, and a sixty-foot tall mummy called Gomdulla! He can fight above his weight class, and win, lose, or draw -- he always leaves a lasting impression!

We've seen The Wrecker and his Crew make mincemeat out of Sasquatch, and their battle with The Thunderbolts showed that it takes more than brute strength to bring them to a stop. A straight fist fight doesn't necessarily favour The Thing, but as we saw in another recent entry -- The Wrecker's enchanted crowbar can be wielded by another. That's one tactic Thing might be able to use to turn the tables.

We've looked at the record and done some theorizing. Now it's time to find out what actually happened when The Wrecker came to Yancy Street!

The Tape: The Wrecker Ranking: The Thing (#11)

What Went Down...
In a hidden, high-security basement prison bunker -- The Wrecker closes in on his former teammate Thunderball! The erstwhile Crewman is without his famous ball & chain, or the enchantments that grants him his super-human powers. Just Dr. Eliot Franklin, alone with the lights out, and a failed electrified bed frame.

All hope seems lost for the powerless turncoat as The Wrecker approaches striking distance when suddenly -- it's The Wrecker sent hurtling by a powerful blow!

To The Wrecker's surprise -- The Thing stalks through the darkness, but his fists aren't raised for the simple sake of saving Thunderball. It's righteous anger that fuels his fury! For the innocent people who lost their homes and lives to the wanton destruction of The Wrecker's warpath through Yancy Street!


Thing hammers his fist toward the floored Wrecker -- but the villain's enchanted wrecking bar blocks the heavy blow!

Wrecker fires back -- rising to his feet to strike Thing across the chest with the mighty crowbar! The pain inflicted stuns Thing, allowing Wrecker to collect Franklin in his left hand, and escape through the hole in the ceiling!

On the street, Wrecker raises his bar in preparation to beat Franklin to a pulp -- but a huge chunk of concrete knocks the weapon out of his hand!

Thunderball takes the opportunity to make a run for it as The Thing marches across the street with fists raised. He wants to test the villain without his magical crowbar. The Wrecker gladly runs into the fray!


Clutching both hands together -- The Wrecker strikes with a polish hammer that topples the Fantastic Four's powerhouse!

He had no real issue with Thing before, but now that Thunderball has escaped his clutches once more -- the leader of the former Wrecking Crew is developing a real dislike for his rocky adversary.

He reaches for his nearby wrecking bar -- just in time to swing it directly into the mid-section of an oncoming Thing!


Thing lets out an agonized yell as the impact of the bar echos boomingly between the remaining buildings.

Wrecker wraps both hands around the hilt of his crowbar and raises it overhead to bring the curved end smashing down into the Thing! The devastating blow elicits another pained grunt!


Wrecker gloats over his opponent as Thing lies on his side on the street like a prize fighter struggling to get back up.

"Hah! I'm beatin' ya, Thing! And ya know why? 'Cause I'm not lookin' to anyone for help! I'm doin' it alone -- just me and my wrecking bar!"

The villain wallows in epic self-pity and self-aggrandizing as he dwells on the recent passing of his mother and Thunderball's failed attempt to turn against him with the rest of The Wrecking Crew.

"So, a bunch'a pathetic nobodies died here today? So what?! The world's done me enough wrongs -- I got lots to pay it back for!"

Thing is disgusted by Wrecker's callous, self-important disregard for life. He may be hurting from the enchanted crowbar, but he's heard enough!


Safe in the knowledge that the inhabitants had just been evacuated -- Thing grabs Wrecker by the ankle and throws him at the wall of a nearby tenement!

Wrecker crashes into the structure, but with a simple flex of his shoulders -- he shrugs the rubble and crumbling building off like it was nothing!

They tie up again, and for all his might, The Thing finds himself teetering on the edge of being overwhelmed by the mystical strength of his opponent. He cannot maintain his wrist lock any longer -- The Wrecker breaks free and violently peppers him with punches and jabs from his crowbar!


The frenzied assault is merciless and unrelenting! A swiping strike to the face, an overhand clubbing blow to the right shoulder, a grand slam swing to the left side, a devastating two-handed overhead to the shoulders and back of the head!

Thing does his best to cover up, but the god-like hits take their toll!

The Thing begins to shrink under the impact of yet another clubbing strike from the wrecking bar. Police holding back a crowd of onlookers share in the horror of witnessing their beloved hero succumb to approaching defeat.

Wrecker gleefully swings his bar with one hand into The Thing's exposed side, delighted as the prospect of killing the hero and perhaps even showing mercy to what remains of besieged Yancy Street.

He raises the enchanted crowbar high overhead and once again brings it crashing down upon The Thing -- a direct strike right to the head! Thing winces but at last sees his carefully cultivated opportunity to pounce!


Thing throws his right hand out with lightning speed and precision!

He grabs a good hold of Wrecker's wrist and squeezes it tight.

It was a dangerous game, and with a couple more good shots they really might've been writing Ben Grimm's obituary -- but the high stakes have paid off. Thing covered up and took as much as he could, baiting Wrecker to get overconfident and careless.

Wrecker desperately pounds his free hand against Thing's shoulder, but the rapid punches do nothing. The dope has been successfully roped! Thing grabs hold of the other wrist and keeps squeezing!


Wrecker drops to one knee as Thing lords over him and keeps squeezing.

The pressure grows so great The Wrecker drops his crowbar!

For a moment the villain snaps and starts snarling: "So what?! I told ya before. I don't need the bar to beat ya! I'm still gonna kill ya! Just let go 'a me!"

It seems like the last ditch threats of a man pleading on his knees, but remarkably -- The Thing obliges. He releases his grip, but it's no act of mercy. He's just freeing his hands up...


Thing winds back with his right hand and delivers an all mighty knockout blow!

Wrecker is launched across the street and lands unconscious, where SHIELD agents are ready to lock his enchanted crowbar in adamantium containment, and collect him with "energy-sappers" for transport.

The Hammer...
It wasn't quite a textbook execution of the Muhammad Ali rope-a-dope technique, but The Thing successfully endures a pummeling -- only to turn the tables in similar fashion, by lulling The Wrecker into a false sense of security. Then it's full-scale clobberin' time!

The tactical win spares both Dr. Eliot Franklin, and most of Thing's old stomping grounds, but not without some shocking casualties!

Wrecker's violent incursion may've targeted an ostensibly abandoned Yancy Street building, but the attack also inadvertently shook the neighbouring apartments to their foundations -- instantly killing some occupants in the resulting collapse, while injuring many others as well.

It's an unusually brutal illustration of the potential for collateral damage when gods & monsters wage their private wars on the streets of the Marvel Universe. A realm The Thing remains earnestly tethered to, despite his cosmic adventuring.

He's able to help some in the building, as you would expect any good hero to, but the Garcia family -- who now lives in his childhood apartment and kindly offered to share a meal -- suffer the greatest of tragedies when their youngest, little Javier, can't be saved by medics, and succumbs to his injuries in the aftermath.

It's a surprisingly grim episode for an otherwise fun & dandy superhero slugfest, but we observe a simple morality tale of personal choice & accountability through the innocent eyes of the child, and the callous self-centeredness of The Wrecker.

The Thing's commitment to doing good against overwhelming odds elevates him from his monstrous appearance and humble beginnings, while The Wrecker can only expect to be regarded with disdain and incarceration for his pathetic disregard. Wrecker is the simple-minded malcontent who cannot see beyond himself and his own shallow self-pity. A tale as old as time we can all still learn from in our age of algorithmically curated echo chambers, and social unrest.

Indeed, it's sometimes disheartening to see even the superhero concept twisted and subjected to the demands of a loss of moral integrity and aspirational fantasy. Here, in a single-issue story from thirty-four years ago, we see The Thing choose the greater good of helping save lives before indulging the base entertainment of the superhero slugfest. A serve of responsibility with great power.


Here on The Comic Book Fight Club we're also seeking to learn more about The Wrecker's status and capabilities. It's an initiative that all started because of a harmless social media post -- arousing my curiosity, and long-held desire to look more at some of these now-classic battles against a favourite badguy!

Essentially it boils down to an assertion that The Wrecker losing a fight to Daredevil and Elektra was a career low. We've come at it from the perspective of whether or not street-level heroes can challenge The Wrecker, and whether or not Daredevil can rise to an enchanted powerhouse. This time around I thought we should take a look at how Wrecker handles a high-level opponent. A chance to see the peaks he regularly operates in, before we come back down to Earth again for the recent, offending battle.

I could've gone with any number of classic matches against Thor, and one day I'm sure I will, but Fantastic Four #355 has been burning up my desk, and the To Do List, for far too long. It's also a topical choice in a year that saw the Fantastic Four enjoy a revival kicked off by the release of Fantastic Four: First Steps. Let's face it -- I also really like the issue and just wanted to finally dive into it.

I've been enjoying the heck out of the late eighties and early nineties lately, particularly from Marvel. The characters, the melodrama, the action. The bombastic art style and vivid colours. A foot in the classics, but inching ever closer to what we come to regard as the modern comic book.

Al Milgrom does some great work here on pencils. I don't know that the isolated panels I've scanned can really do it justice, but I invite you to luxuriate in that last kayo panel. If The Wrecker were just breaking the border -- and maybe a couple of teeth -- it'd be a face-belter right out of the Sal Buscema playbook. Hey. Don't tempt me, fanboy! You know I'm always on a razor's edge for our pal Sal!

Under the intense scrutiny of our premise, I actually might cast some aspersions about Thing so brazenly absorbing as much punishment from the enchanted crowbar as he does. I've also got questions about the genius who thought to hide a former super-felon in the basement next door, but one problem at a time...

The Wrecker is at the peak of his strength at this time, having re-absorbed the totality of his enchanted strength from the rest of The Wrecking Crew, who are kinda on the outs with ol' Dirk Garthwaite, since trying to steal the rest of his power from themselves. That means those are some pretty heavy duty shots Thing's absorbing - and it may stretch the credibility of the battle ever so slightly.

Danny Fingeroth's script does offer lip service to the potentially fatal consequence of the strategy, but I think there are roughly three takeaways here:

As we build our record of The Wrecker's combat history, the reality may not be quite as impressive as we like to think. Conversely, this could also serve as a nice reminder of just how powerful and durable The Thing is! A fact that's been diminished over a couple of decades of bad movies, and even worse deliberate corporate mismanagement. Let it be known: Juggernaut may be unstoppable -- but a foundational principle of Marvel Comics is that The Thing doesn't quit!

The third option is that the practical necessities of a functional shared universe of super-heroes and super-villains means the bad guys lose. They lose a lot. Even when they seem impossible for a hero to defeat -- their apparent superiority only functions to make a greater mountain to scale, a more impressive dragon to slay.

For a guy like Ben Grimm usually you need somebody on the scale of Champion of the Universe, or Ego The Living Planet, to make that kind of grandiose stand, but perhaps a full-powered assault from The Wrecker is just as impressive a feat.

Your mileage for Thing's periodic moping sessions may vary, but I enjoy the human tale here of Ben Grimm revisiting his old stomping grounds. It's fun to see peeling back the shocking secret that he was once a member of the Yancy Street Gang and even tagged the apartment hallway -- at least until his father smacked him straight. We don't condone violence against children or anything like that, but it's nice that Benjy got his head on straight, and grew up right, despite the abuse.

These are some pretty heavy themes, dealing with class structures, child abuse, gang violence, tragedy, and even the death of a minor, but it's handled with a certain light touch. Again, I think of the fetishization of the "Evil Superman" in series like The Boys, where so many have managed to completely overlook the utter contemptibility and pathetic core behind those fragile, juvenile figures.

I find myself nostalgic for a simple thrill. The kind of comics they just don't seem to make any more. A single issue tale with a favourite character. A cheap impulse purchase, with a heroic lead, and a general sense of good. Not a multi-year commitment to the temporary decimation of an icon, or the "realistic" loathing of one character for another. Not even a well-meaning but hyper-fixateded, clumsy social message of the day. Just mature storytelling. Fiction for what it is. Completely bear and unashamed. Unique, wholly realised, and a quick bit of fun.

Back issues are where I'm finding my thrills, but in the interest of getting this thing moving, I think our next stop will be the offending issue of Daredevil from the year 2025. We'll go straight to the source to see just how bad it is, and maybe then we'll reconvene, because you know I want more Wrecker on the record, but there are also other subjects I'm interested in, in addition to random odds & ends.

There are plenty of good stories & battles from all years and you can find them in the Secret Archive! That's where we keep a complete index of featured fights in order of publisher, series, and issue number. If you'd rather find more from your favourite characters & topics you should hit up links throughout posts to discover more. Just don't forget to flex your mind muscle and see what else is there!

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has been serving superhero smackdown for well over 700 fights and ranked more than 1000 of your favourite characters! If that sounds like a good thing to you -- I'd really appreciate it if you considered getting involved on Patreon. It's free to follow, and a Tier 1 sub is a great, cheap way to support 100% man-made, farm fresh niche content.

Get daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing to X (aka; Twitter)! Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday on X & Discord! The lively Discord chat is one of the bonuses of becoming a Patreon subscriber. Yancy Street Gang members welcome!

Winner: The Thing
#9 (+2) The Thing
#453 (-14) The Wrecker
#441 (+2) Thunderball [+1 assist]

Sunday, December 08, 2024

RHINO versus THING
One Man's Prison (Marvel)
Where:
The Thing #24 When: June 1985
Why: Michael Carlin How: Ron Wilson & Joe Sinnott

The Story So Far...
The Thing has returned home from his adventures on Battleworld, but his arrival proves less than triumphant when he learns of a budding relationship between Johnny Storm and his ex-girlfriend Alicia Masters!

The last place Thing wants to be is with the Fantastic Four, so he books himself a bus ticket to Ticonderoga and sets out to visit old pal Quasar, who not too long ago offered him work at Project Pegasus.

Thing isn't the only noteworthy passenger boarding the motorcoach for North Country. Fate would have it that old FF foe, The Miracle Man, is on the same busline and their journey is about to take them on the same course as a heavily armored prison truck carrying the perfect muscle for the magician -- The Rhino!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Thing 3 (Straight A)
Speed: Rhino 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thing 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Thing 2 (Average)
Fighting: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: The Thing 22 (Champion)

Step right up! It's a super heavyweight showdown in the classic Marvel style!

In one corner we have The Rampaging RhinoAleksei Sytsevich - a brutish thug who subjected himself to dangerous experimental procedures that greatly enhanced his strength & durability, but also left him trapped within a full body rhinoceros-like hide grafted directly to his skin.

The suit traditionally boasts powerful Rhino horns that add further threat to his charging assault, but over the years he's occasionally been modified with various armored enhancements and offensive additions. These impermanent alterations speak to fleeting attempts to update a bona fide classic!

In the other corner we have Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew! The world-savin', ever lovin' Benjamin J Grimm - otherwise known as the blue-eyed Thing!

The Thing is a man who can relate to Rhino's experience. Due to insufficient shielding on a certain fated space mission -- Grimm was subjected to dangerous levels of cosmic radiation that greatly enhanced his strength & durability, but also trapped him within a monstrous rocky exterior.

In addition to their broadly similar lot in life -- Rhino and Thing have found themselves tough enough to go up against some common enemies. Most notably, they're both recurring sparring partners for the incredible Hulk!

So far, our record can only speak for The Thing, who had a little help from an underground saboteur while grappling with Hulk in Fantastic Four #12, and fell short of a conclusion when a blow knocked him through the floor during a showdown between the Secret Defenders and FF in Fantastic Four #374!

For Rhino, the price of nigh invulnerability is his inescapable imprisonment within his ultra-durable hide, but there have been rare instances when he was briefly liberated. Frequent arch-nemesis Spider-Man used a chemical compound to dissolve the suit in Amazing Spider-Man #43, as retold in Spider-Man: Blue #2.

Thing has access to one of the greatest minds in the Marvel Universe, but in this battle they aren't on speaking terms, so we won't rely on scientific smarts winning this encounter.

The Punisher used one of Arnim Zola's dreaded Satan Claws to enhance his strength enough to knock Rhino on his ass in Punisher War Journal #3, but Thing won't need any gimmicks to deliver that calibre of punch!

W
e've seen him trade blows with the likes of Gladiator, Captain Marvel, Super-Skrull, Paibok The Power Skrull, Doctor Doom, The Super AdaptoidGomdulla, and even The Sentry, so we've gotta think he could handle the Rhino. Let's find out!

The Tape: Thing Ranking: Thing (#13)

What Went Down...
Reluctantly liberated from the prison transport taking him to Project Pegasus -- Rhino quickly falls under the spell of The Miracle Man!

His dim-witted rage is easily exploited by the carnival magician, who redirects the Rhino's frustrated rampage towards the passenger bus that ferried both Miracle Man and The Thing to the Rhino's path. An effort to eliminate any witnesses.


The passengers flee for their lives, but engrossed in his newspaper, and unwittingly under the hypnotic suggestion of The Miracle Man -- The Thing doesn't exit the bus - or see the peril coming!

Rhino collides with the side of the vehicle -- sending it grinding from the roadside towards the mountainside edge! It teeters for an extended moment and then begins the tumbling plunge down a sheer cliff!

As the bus is torn to shreds in the tumbling descent -- The Thing emerges from the twisted metal and stops his fall with a firm grip on the cliffside!

He makes the climb back to the top, where horrified onlookers are relieved to find their fellow passenger has survived his fall.

He's red hot mad about his quiet ride being interrupted and intent on collecting his $13.50 paid from the bus service -- or the one responsible for ruining his day.

Thing finally recognizes The Miracle Man at the front of the crowd, but the mentalist calls upon the Rhino to prevent a reprisal!


Thing's surprised to find the notorious villain's as big as he is. He braces for impact, but is still sent hurtling by the collision with Rhino's horn!

Buoyed by the support of the crowd, and an awareness of Rhino's reputation from Spider-Man and the Avengers, Thing picks himself up from the rocks that broke his fall, and prepares to return fire.

"I'm gettin' up, Rhino -- now's yer chance ta beg fer mercy! No response, eh? Yer just gonna stand there like a mope, eh? Okay, big boy --"


The hypnotized Rhino is unresponsive to Thing's warning -- taking the full brunt of an overhanded right punch that sends him flying through the air!

The Rhino crashes into more nearby mountain rock, but the blow shakes him out of his hypnotized stupor.

He's back on his feet and of his own sound mind, but before Rhino can get to grips with what's going on -- he's instinctively charging to meet an oncoming Thing!


The two super-heavyweights lock up and Rhino tries to tell The Thing he's been acting under somebody else's spell. That the blows have shaken him out of it.

Already feeling the weight of the world, and caught in the heat of battle, Thing ignores the grappling Rhino's plea for reason, and hurls him violently across the makeshift battlefield!


The toss leaves the already bruised Rhino rattled -- and gives Thing time to think about his opponent's claim.

The seasoned hero knows he was influenced by Miracle Man's power on the bus, and it stands to reason that Rhino could be too -- even if he is one of the bad guys. So he gives the villain a chance to explain and it all makes sense.

The Hammer...
The battle leaves Rhino stopped in his tracks, but more torturous than the beating is the thought that he may have lost his ticket to Project Pegasus for the apparent breakout attempt.

His prison sentence was to be shortened in exchange for submitting to an experimental Pegasus program designed to further understanding for dealing with super-human criminals. If all went well, it could also potentially end in freeing Rhino from the hide he was surgically grafted within.

Sytsevich has had enough of being trapped inside his in-human grey coating and taken advantage of for his power. A sob story that hits close to home for the ever lovin' Thing, who fully intends to vouch for the super-criminal, and give him a shot at returning to a normal life. The kind of chance Thing wishes he could have, if his cosmic ray-induced mutation could be so easily reversed.

Unfortunately for both of them -- Miracle Man has other ideas and isn't about to let everyone just walk away!

I've always thought of Miracle Man as one of the rare misses from the legendary original Stan Lee & Jack Kirby run of Fantastic Four. He's just a bit too cliche and ill fitted for the FF, who found a more interesting mystic nemesis in Diablo.

Yet, in classic comics style, he became a bit more appealing as he lingered, better matched against Son of Satan and The Defenders, and ultimately an interesting throwback to return in The Thing solo series, which was a bit hit & miss over its three year run. Pairing him up with a bigger name villain for a dream match really helps sweeten the issue, series, and Miracle Man's return in general.

There's 
more action to be had, with an unexpected fourth player, but that's a fight for another day. For now, we're enjoying the simple pleasures of a marquee match-up between two of Marvel Comics' classic super-heavyweight bruisers!

The jaded grump in me thinks this kind of issue is a thing of the past in American comic books, for better or worse, but I was excited to see the recent announcement of a new five-issue mini-series that will take The Thing on a clobberin' tour of the Marvel Universe.

It might not be a pleasing, carefully considered, character-driven dream bout, but I'm never the less interested to see what comes of a brawling gauntlet through some of Marvel's classic and obscure villains. Assuming all is as it seems, that brand of uncomplicated fun with favourite foes could really hit the spot!

The Rhino match doesn't quite live up to the hype, but sometimes it's nice when these punch-ups give way to a sympathetic sub-plot. I know we're on The Comic Book Fight Club, but hey. Sometimes there's more to life than violence!

That Rhino starts the issue just as nervous as the Pegasus sentries guarding him is a nice touch, setting up his anxiety about seeing his stay through without any incidents. Rhino might be a bit of a dummy, but he's been around long enough to know trouble has a way of finding him. He doesn't want any of it. Not this time!

Ron Wilson is established as one of the great Thing artists, but I also really enjoy his classic rendering of Rhino here. He's got the Romita dimensions and broad face that gives the design a lot of character despite its relative simplicity.

This is the Rhino I like to see. I sure as heck don't want any mech-suit nonsense, and I could really do without the decorative jewelry and padding as well. There are plenty of characters who are better suited to all that jazz. Rhino might not be fancy, but he's one of a kind. A classic model you don't need to mess around with.

As for the verdict for today's featured fight... It teeters on the brink of the inconclusive, with Thing sympathetically helping Rhino to his feet, but I think the brawl is decisive enough to call this one a win for The Thing, even if we consider it an asterisk for Miracle Man's influence dulling Rhino's awareness. The blows stopped him in his tracks and he is as good as tapped out.

Should we take a look at what happens when Rhino faces his would-be master? If you'd like to help make that happen sooner than later, you might like to consider becoming a supporter on Patreon this holiday season.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 700 fights and ranked more than 1,000 of your favourite characters! You can find 'em all by diving in to the Secret Archive for a complete index in order of publisher, series, and issue number -- or by following links throughout each post to discover more from your favourite characters, creators, series, and categories!

Get daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing to X (aka; Twitter)Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday on X & Discord! The lively Discord chat is one of the bonuses of becoming a Patreon subscriber!

Winner: Thing
#11 (+2) The Thing
#1087 (-11) Rhino
#668 (new) Miracle Man [+1 assist]

Friday, September 16, 2022

TITANIA versus FANTASTIC FOUR
Tempest Without, Crisis Within! (Marvel)
Where:
Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #3 When: July 1984 Why: Jim Shooter How: Mike Zeck

The Story So Far...
In the cold vacuum of distant space -- the sudden emergence of a space station filled with some of the mightiest heroes and villains of Earth!

Gathered together by some awesome, unknown force, they are issued a simple decree: "I am from beyond! Slay your enemies and all your desires shall be yours! Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to accomplish!"

Deposited to a planet created by this mysterious Beyonder from pieces of other worlds -- forces align to fight a war of good & evil unseen by human eyes. Leading a rabble of the disagreeable and devious: Doctor Doom seeks to enhance his forces with the creation of two new super-villains to join an attack at dawn!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Thing 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Human Torch 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thing 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting: Thing 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Human Torch 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Human Torch 23 (Champion)

Plucked from the obscurity of a Denver town during The Beyonder's construction of Battleworld; Mary MacPherran was discovered by Doctor Doom and granted super-human powers using alien technology found on the composite planet.

As Titania she gratefully received super-human strength, durability, and stamina, further bolstering Doom's forces in the Secret Wars against Earth's mightiest heroes -- and a few of his conspiring contemporaries as well!


The Fantastic Four are: Mister Fantastic, Human Torch, and Thing.

The foursome is actually a trio -- unaccompanied by the Invisible Woman, who stays safe at home, heavily pregnant.

Further depleting the ranks is the unexpected transformation of The Thing into his human alter-ego of Benjamin Grimm. It marks a noted loss of strength for the seasoned threesome as they find themselves under surprise attack from an unfamiliar adversary!

Ordinarily Thing would probably go head-to-head with Titania without too much issue, but it'll be up to Mister Fantastic and Human Torch to fend for themselves and their powerless friend. A rare, but not unheard of predicament.

Though generally known for his smarts, Reed Richards can stretch his abilities to combat - particularly when the family's involved.

We saw Reed rough up the Sub-Mariner during a jealous grudge match in FF #412, and outfight the Super-Apes in a dramatic lone stand during FF (Vol.3) #3. Of course, he also found himself twisted and tossed aside by the likes of Hulk in FF #12 and FF #374, and the impossibly powerful Gladiator in FF #249.

In her first outing it remains to be seen if Titania is as strong or durable as those high-level competitors. She's certainly highly motivated and eager to test her strength. So let's see what happened...

The Tape: Fantastic Four Ranking: Mister Fantastic (#11)

What Went Down...
There are no obstacles awaiting Doctor Doom as he pilots a flying ship filled with an army of villains towards the heroes' headquarters. Unchallenged -- he prepares them for ramming speed and crashes directly into the undefended complex!

From the heart of the sprawling facility Doom strikes -- directing The Wrecker to his mission to free Kang, Enchantress, and The Wrecking Crew from imprisonment -- while the other villains spill outward to cause maximum mayhem!


The first heroes alerted to the assault are the Fantastic Four -- now a threesome, with the powerless human form of Ben Grimm standing to his feet as Human Torch and Mister Fantastic spot the disturbance outside.


The very window they're peering through betrays them as Titania comes calling.

Her newfound super-human strength gets its first test drive as she smashes the exterior wall into the large table seating the FF!


Only the Human Torch remains conscious, nursing a broken arm and ribs as he points his right hand toward the attacker and douses her in flames!

The blazing fire engulfs Titania, deterring her just long enough for the Human Torch to blast his way through the floor, allowing he and his fellows to drop to the safety of the lower levels.

Titania stands ready at the hole's edge -- a job well done.

The Hammer...
I suppose I should take a moment to bask in the collective sigh of relief now that Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars is finally on the record!

In the age of SEO you might've presumed it would be one of the first things featured on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, but life online wasn't always about being so damn obvious, and I've always preferred to go where whim takes me.

Once we finally crossed off Crisis on Infinite Earths, Secret Wars obviously started burning up the To Do list -- and let's be honest: It has always been a point of interest that I've wanted to get to. I just never imagined this is where we'd start!

With 
Titania making her live-action debut in She-Hulk on Disney+, it felt like the right time to finally dig into the famous Marvel maxi-series, which essentially came together to sell some action figures, but also introduced a few enduring ideas and new additions to the Marvel pantheon.


Titania's first official fight in print wasn't exactly a barn burner, but she makes a heckuva strong impression with her total bamboozling of the Fantastic Four!

Today we might think of her as more of a She-Hulk villain, but it makes sense that her first conflict might be with the FF. After all, she was granted her super-human strength by Doctor Doom, and was itching to prove herself with worthy combat.

It's actually one of several small skirmishes breaking out, by happenstance, as Doom deploys his villainous troops to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting heroes while The Wrecker recovers prisoners.

That element of tactical deployment and human-resource management is one of the things that makes Secret Wars appealing. It won't quite achieve the status of a true war story with super-heroes, but it at least flirts with the concept beyond a clumsy series of indistinguishable fights transparently advertising a toy line.

She-Hulk happens to be the next target featured after today's fight, surprised by another Secret Wars debutante - Volcana. Proximity that perhaps subconsciously alludes to the characters' future associations, including She-Hulk's admission to the Fantastic Four as a stand-in for The Thing, who'd already subbed out in the pages of Fantastic Four #265.

A lot of what makes Titania enduring is here right from the start.

As soon as she receives her powers -- a painful process that requires whole-heartedly embracing them at risk of destruction -- she has a costume ready, and  comes up with an alias on the spot. Truth be told it's probably my favourite Titania look. Leather pro wrestling chic with thorny spikes up & down the sleeves.

A quick flex lifting & throwing a few tonnes of slag melted by Volcana, and she's ready to rumble. Doctor Doom introduces his new recruits to the rest of the squad, and Titania makes a beeline for a lazily lounging Absorbing Man looking for a rumble: "I'm going to do anything I want to you! Everything I always wanted to do to everybody who used to be bigger and stronger than me! Maybe I'll just play with you... or maybe I'll make you eat dirt..."

The vaguely flirtatious threat is met with indifference as Absorbing Man blows off the challenge from "a dame" at least until tomorrow. A dynamic that might be seen as dismissive, but feels more like the playful preview of a lasting relationship that will be forged between the couple as super-human equals.

That's a combination I look forward to exploring further in future updates. For now: we need to make a call about this result.

Although the Fantastic Four look in pretty bad shape, Human Torch ensures they slink away quickly before the fight really takes off. In the next issue Hulk will still be carrying an unconscious Mister Fantastic and Ben Grimm, with the Torch nursing his injuries. I'm inclined to take this compelling outcome into account and deem this a debut win for Titania. 
Agree or disagree? Hit the comments below.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured almost 700 battles and ranked well over 1000 characters! You can find more from your favourite characters & topics by following links throughout each entry, or by diving into the Secret Archive for a complete index of featured fights by publisher, series, and issue number.

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Winner: Titania
#352 (new) Titania
#14 (--) Human Torch
#11 (--) Mister Fantastic
#13 (--) Thing

Sunday, July 26, 2020

SECRET DEFENDERS versus FANTASTIC FOUR
Suddenly... The Secret Defenders (Marvel)
Where:
Fantastic Four #374 When: March 1993
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Paul Ryan

The Story So Far...
When Johnny Storm was caught alone in a surprise ambush by Paibok the Power Skrull, Lyja, and Devos The Destroyer -- he unleashed the full force of his nova blast in a last ditch effort to survive!

The desperate tactic left nearby Empire State University in scorched ruins, earning the ire of a public who believes Human Torch's flaming assault was a reckless act of endangerment.

With the rest of the Fantastic Four preoccupied -- and mercenaries taking to the streets to hunt The Torch down -- his old friend Spider-Man seeks the aide of Doctor Strange to assemble a familiar team to bring him in peacefully. With a simple astral projection the erstwhile New Fantastic Four are reunited!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Spider-Man 4 (???)
Stamina: Wolverine 6 (Generator)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Human Torch 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Spider-Man 29 (Metahuman)

The Secret Defenders are: Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Ghost Rider, with Doctor Strange.

The concept of the original "non-team" was taken to its ultimate conclusion when Doctor Strange began recruiting disparate heroes for missions as the Secret Defenders. Spider-Man seeks his assistance to re-assemble a quartet once gathered to operate as the avenging "New Fantastic Four".

The Fantastic Four are: Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and Thing, with Ms. Marvel.

The long running relationship between Spider-Man and the classic FF has seen him play friend and "frenemy" to the Human Torch. We saw them fight side-by-side in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #4, Spider-Man Family #3, and Amazing Spider-Man #600, but rivalry got the better of them in Fantastic Four #543!

The FF also has a legendary history with the Hulk, starting with their first face-off in Fantastic Four #12! Much of the rivalry boils down to testing Hulk's strength against the Thing, who's also developed tensions with Wolverine.

Today's issue is where the true bad blood developed between them, but Thing & Wolverine also shared an earlier exchange in Contest of Champions #3, and extended their battles with an all-out war in Wolverine #22!

The overlapping dynamics between all the players on both teams are almost as intriguing as the general parallels between two versions of the FF.

Hulk and Thing are obvious strongmen, but this is a time when Bruce Banner's brilliant mind controls Hulk. His genius rivals Mister Fantastic within his field, while Spider-Man's webs and Ghost Rider's chains loosely approximate his elasticated reach. Ghost Rider's hellfire draws obvious parallel to Human Torch, but as we saw in Ghost Rider/Blaze: Spirits of Vengeance #6, its properties are very different.

Spider-Man and Ghost Rider can also roughly approximate the defensive projections of Invisible Woman, but it may be Wolverine who best inverts her role, providing penetrating blades in place of invisible force fields. He can also sniff out any invisibility with his keen senses.

In Wolverine #22 she stopped him cold by blocking his airways, but the same trick didn't work in the alternate reality rematch of What If? Wolverine: Enemy of the State. Sue Storm is on the edge of her Malice personality at this time, so the gloves certainly could come off. We saw her cause a lot of problem for the X-Men as one of Ahab's Hounds in X-Men Annual #14. She was pushed to lethal extremes when defending her family in Fantastic Four (Vol.3) #2, too.

Doctor Strange is here as an astral projection as in Strange Tales #111 and Marvel Adventures #14, but has no magical foe to interact with. That makes Ms. Marvel a bit of an x-factor, adding a second heavyweight to the FF.

Sharon Ventura is a former stuntwoman and Thing's ex-girlfriend who received super-human strength enhancements during her career with Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation. She later mutated into the erstwhile "She-Thing", but was cured of her rocky affliction in Fantastic Four #350. She left the group after they encountered Justice Peace in Fanatstic Four #354, but returned as a mole indebted to Doctor Doom for her cure.

Ms. Marvel is double tough, but will that be enough to tip the scales in favour of the classic Fantastic Four? It's about time we just dived in to find out!

The Tape: Secret Defenders Ranking: Spider-Man (#2)

What Went Down...
Pursued by Skrull adversaries and angry bounty hunters: Johnny Storm has had little time to refresh himself. The scent of the chase betrays him as the keen senses of Wolverine detect the young hero hidden within a decrepit building.

The Secret Defenders don't quite share Spider-Man's understanding. Hulk gives the young hero an ultimatum: walk out with them - or be carried out!

Incensed, but knowing he's clearly outgunned, the Human Torch sends a flare out the window to draw the rest of the searching Fantastic Four to his location. He then bursts into flames, leaping into the air to avoid the lashing chain of Ghost Rider, and stray webs slung by Spider-Man!



The evasive maneuvers give Human Torch a chance to return fire. Shocked that his old friend Spider-Man would betray him, he hurls his flame in the web-slinger's direction. Spidey leaps clear and pleads his case for wanting to help.

Hulk is much less concerned, slamming his hands together to send a shockwave that smothers Johnny's flame and knocks him clean out of the air!



The green goliath looms over a smoldering Johnny Storm, wanting to avoid more mindless fisticuffs. The decision is taken out of his hands as a rocky finger taps his shoulder -- followed with the fist of The Thing against his jade jaw!


The Fantastic Four file into the urban space ready to defend their comrade!

Spider-Man again hopes to talk it out, but Wolverine insists the time for diplomacy has passed. His hostility is met with the pliable, bending body of Mister Fantastic, who stretches around him and vows that Johnny will surrender himself peacefully to the appropriate authorities.

Ghost Rider sees Invisible Woman raising her hands and attempts to intervene, but his shuriken flinging chain hits only the force field she was conjuring up.

Her invisible bubbles also form around Wolverine's clawed fists, defending the malleable body of her husband from any unlikely punctures. The married couple share terse gratitude, their own turmoil simmering behind their teamwork.



Leaping to defend his sister: Human Torch ignites again -- and bathes Ghost Rider in an unrelenting stream of flame!

The mortal burning proves ineffective against one who is already engulfed with the unearthly inferno of hellfire. Ghost Rider explains his non-lethal attack as he stares coldly with the permanent grin of his exposed skull.



Meanwhile, Spider-Man does his best to keep one step ahead of the super-strong fists of Ms. Marvel. She swings wildly, smashing through a support pillar as Spidey pinballs from surface to surface -- and catches her with webs!

Thing ducks a wild left from Hulk, and questions how the former rampaging brute could be anything but understanding of Johnny's current predicament.

Hulk retorts that it's his extensive experiences with collateral damage that drives him to prevent anyone else from repeating his unthinking past!



The Thing connects with a right hand deep in the mid-section, but his low stance leaves him vulnerable to an overhead hammer fist! Hulk's powerful blow knocks Thing clean through the floor and sends him plummeting down multiple levels!

Hulk then sets his sights on Mister Fantastic, who's proven capable of stretching around Wolverine's probing adamantium claws. Hulk's massive hand grips Mister Fantastic by the vest and whips him off like a loose sheet from a bed!


The X-Man is quickly besieged by Invisible Woman, who smashes him with an invisible force field that sends him hurtling backwards through the air. It provokes a rapid response as he rushes back with claws at the ready to test the impenetrability of her famous defenses.

Adamantium barely connects with invisible projection as Thing returns to the battle and grabs Wolverine from behind! He uses his incredible strength to powerslam Wolverine into the ground with a single hand. The mutant reacts!



Animal instinct takes over as Wolverine savagely slashes his adamantium claws towards his attacker! The unrestrained assault sickeningly carves through Thing's rocky face. It's like nothing the travelled hero has ever experienced!

The Thing howls in agony -- clutching at his wounded cheek as his body lurches in shock. The chilling scene snaps Wolverine back to his senses. He searches for reason, knowing he's gone too far. Thing responds with an uncaring fist!



The power of Thing's furious blow sends Wolverine smashing through untold walls as his airborne body careens into another neighbouring building.

Invisible Woman, Ms. Marvel, and Mister Fantastic rush to their teammate's side. Reed ensnares Hulk with his elastic body while desperately declaring Thing needs immediate medical attention.



Only Human Torch continues fighting --  caught in Ghost Rider's otherworldly chain!

The Spirit of Vengeance blames the young hero for the burning of Empire State University -- and the subsequent grim fate that has now befallen The Thing.

The chain squeezes The Torch's throat until his flame subsides. Ghost Rider swats him to the ground with the backhand of his fist, and prepares to unleash the torment of Johnny's own sins with the dreaded penance stare.

Suddenly a blast of energy forces the demonic hero away from his target!



Lyja The Lazerfist arrives just in time to defend her ex-husband -- even though she was one of the Skrulls who started his troubles!

She joins the Fantastic Four as they huddle together, standing back to five other backs, with the Secret Defenders closing in to surround them.

It seems battle is about to begin anew when a blinding light suddenly engulfs the Fantastic Four and their allies!

In the blink of an eye the sextet vanishes! Wolverine's sense of smell confirms they haven't been made invisible by Susan Storm. The sudden disappearance leaves Doctor Strange to contemplate their uncertain fate. An end, of sorts.

The Hammer...

Another famous fight goes on the record! It's reputation is largely built on the face-off between the "New Fantastic Four" and their classic counterparts, and the far reaching consequence of Wolverine's savage lapse of care.

His slash will scar Thing for the next few years, but I wonder how many readers know that the fight actually ended with an inconclusive result. Thing is injured, but still standing at the ready with his team, when the issue comes to an end.

If that wasn't tenacious enough: The next issue reveals the Fantastic Four were transported to the moon base of Uatu, The Watcher. There, Thing almost immediately engages in yet another brawl -- taking a face full of metal fist before he clobbers a rampaging alien robot! That's before he even finds the protective metal helmet he'll be wearing for the next year or so!

Fantastic Four #375 is also where we first witness the gruesome disfigurement of his face. The wound is significant, exposing fleshy tissue along his brow and cheek. It isn't stomach churning on the page, but the reality would seem much more shocking. His helmet was unpopular, but at least protects him.

On the one hand, it's an interesting milestone for the characters involved. On the other, it's surprising that such a consequential event would come from an otherwise typical case of superheroes fighting over a misunderstanding.

The reader certainly knows Johnny Storm hasn't gone rogue. Unlike the catalytic event of Civil War; the Empire State University compound wasn't destroyed by negligence. Johnny wrestled with his actions, fighting as long as he could to give students and faculty a chance to clear the area, before he went nova.

Human Torch's predicament came about as a result of long running plotlines involving Lyja and Paibok. FF #374 is the third issue to deal with the fallout, which highlights a general crisis of conscience that won't plague Wolverine.

I have to think Wolverine expressed a sense of responsibility, if not guilt, at some point in his solo series, or another X-title. I just don't remember it happening. I think it might've been absorbed into more general struggles with his animalistic urges and rage, which became a central plot years later.

The most significant follow-up I can recall is Fantastic Four #395: a 1995 issue that promises "payback" and an epic rematch on the cover, but actually delivers a team-up with Ant-Man, and a burying of the hatchet for Thing and Wolverine.

My best guess is that it remained a one-sided issue because of editorial lines at the time. It seems like an idea initiated by the Fantastic Four office with the intent to tell Fantastic Four stories. The X-offices might've given their blessing, but probably had their hands full with other on-going storylines at the time.

1993 was a pretty big year for Wolverine and the X-Men.

The animated series was on a fast track to becoming a global multimedia phenomenon, and in comics you had long and winding storylines happening every month in Wolverine, X-Men, and Uncanny X-Men. Half a year after this, Fatal Attractions begins, and Wolverine has his own wounds to heal when Magneto strips the adamantium from his skeleton in X-Men #25.

It might've been interesting if Thing got his rematch while Wolverine had bone claws, but the brutality of hero-on-hero violence has already been a little weird.

Keep in mind: this is all happening a decade before Marvel heroes were routinely maiming and killing each other. Breaking Wolverine's claws was a moment reserved instead for an uber-nineties arch-nemesis: the metallic Cyber.

Of course, lets not overlook the 90s saturation of the assembly we have before us. The entire concept of the "New Fantastic Four" feels very much of that time, frivolously throwing together popular characters with almost no natural ties.

I'm actually a fan of the restraint they showed by only featuring this quarter a total of four issues, including this one. That always managed to keep the legend of the "New Fantastic Four" special. Going to that well too many times could've been a little tacky. As it stands, their reunion in Fantastic Four #374 would feel completely perfunctory if it wasn't for the on-going story of Thing's injury.

Sue Storm's extensively derided swimsuit costume also glows with the ills of the era, far more offensively than Mister Fantastic's dubious fishing vest.

There's something to be said for the logic of the outfit being rooted in the encroaching persona of Malice, but I was never the biggest fan of frequenting that idea, either. Not to be confused with the other Malice persona that turns Polaris into a screaming she-devil. We get it, guys... Menstruation!

It doesn't look like this issue is currently available in any collected formats, but you can find the first team-up of Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, and Ghost Rider in the Epic Collection: Fantastic Four - The New Fantastic Four. Use the Amazon link provided for all your shopping and you'll not only get yourself a great deal -- but also support the site at no extra cost!

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 600 fights and ranked more than 950 characters! If you like what its all about and want to make it a little easier to keep the fight going you can get involved with Patreon. The lowest tier unlocks extra updates, poll options, and my eternal gratitude!

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Winners: Inconclusive (Draw)
#2 (--) Spider-Man
#4 (--) Wolverine
#6 (--) Hulk
#10 (--) Mister Fantastic
#12 (--) Thing
#13 (--) Human Torch
#14 (--) Invisible Woman
#151 (+16) Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
#399 (+2) Ghost Rider (Dan Ketch)
#161 (+5) Lyja [+1 assist]