WONDER MAN versus CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE

And They Shall Call Him... Champion! (Marvel)
Where: Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 When: 1982
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Ron Wilson

The Story So Far...
The Fantastic Four's Thing has earned a reputation as one of the universe's greatest fighters, having battled some of the most powerful beings of multiple galaxies! Enter: Proja - Promoter Supreme!

Charged with signing worthy opponents to challenge The Champion of the Universe -- Proja sees big box office potential in a main event match between The Thing and his client!

Madison Square Garden is the only arena in the world that could stage the once in a lifetime title bout, but you can't have a main event without an undercard! The Champ welcomes the challenge of some of Earth's most powerful defenders, but his pugilistic code swiftly eliminates Thor and Hulk from defending their planet.

Sasquatch did his best to test The Champ's ring awareness with brains and brawn, while the steely determination of the X-Man Colossus prompted The Champ to unleash a brutal beating. Now it's time for celebrity powerhouse Wonder Man to leave the film set and step into the ring as one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Champion 7 (Omnipotent)
Intelligence: Draw 2 (Average)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Champion 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Champion 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: Champion of the Universe 29 (Metahuman)

So far Earth's challengers have been a mixed bag! Doc Samson failed to make it out of training - kayoed by a sparring robot, while the royal Sub-Mariner plain refused to even respond to the lowly challenge, let alone train for it.

After side-stepping a disqualified Thor and delisted Hulk -- The Champion of the Universe finally showed everyone he's as dangerous as they say by knocking out Sasquatch, and pummeling Colossus into a forced stoppage!

Next on the card of Earthborn challengers is Wonder Man: a then-recently retired Avenger-turned-actor with super-human strength, durability -- and serious doubts about his own suitability as a contender!

Simon Williams was recruited into the Masters of Evil when his family munitions business, Williams Innovations, faced crippling competition from Stark Industries. Guilty of embezzlement and involvement with organized crime; the desperate and inexperienced business heir accepted help from Baron Zemo in exchange for subjecting himself to experiments with ionic rays and radioactive chemicals.

Deployed to The Avengers as a double-agent; Wonder Man's conscience eventually led him to align with the heroes for real -- but a brush with death would plague his psyche and destroy his confidence. The anxious hero eventually decided to leave super-heroics behind, but the call always brings him back to the fight!

Wonder Man is a heavyhitter to be sure, demonstrating his strength in a weight-lifting challenge with USAgent, and taking on later battles against a super-charged Ronan, a renegade Hercules, and symbiote-possessed Avengers.

He's got the ionic might to stand his ground, but at the time of The Champion's challenge it's Wonder Man's mental game that might be his biggest downfall.

Simon Williams never set out to be a super-hero -- now he's one of Earth's last hopes against potential annihilation. We saw him struggle with his resurrected brother in a spotlight from a later issue. So how did the Avenger-slash-actor fare when the spotlight is turned on him? Let's find out...

The Tape: Champion of the Universe Ranking: Champion of the Universe (#74)

What Went Down...
The gravity of the situation dawns on Wonder Man as he watches attendants carry an unconscious Colossus on a stretcher through the training room. He and The Thing are the only heroes left. "What will happen to the Earth if we also fail?"

The Avenger disappears as Thing tells him to forget the stakes: "Ya got a fight ta win! Think about that -- and nothin' else!" Wonder Man vows to do his best.

Alas, the harsh realities of the boxing ring quickly take their toll!

Clearly warmed up by his previous battles, The Champion of the Universe works swiftly to take control of the match. We join the fight shortly after the opening bell to witness a right hook that launches Wonder Man over the top rope -- and into an invisible force-field surrounding the ring!

The Avenger drops to the mat, doubled over on his knees and contemplating his reluctance to even be there.

Wonder Man doesn't want to be a hero. Doesn't want to fight. He knows he can't take much more punishment -- but the chants of the crowd reach beyond his inner doubts. The spirit of the people wills him to get back up. Slowly but surely, with agony tearing through his body -- he does!

Back on his feet, Wonder Man makes a bold show of things!

Seemingly frustrated with the struggle and adrenalized by the crowd -- Wonder Man grabs at the ring mat and tears a piece of it up!

The Avenger is apparently tired of playing by the rules, but it's the rules that have seen him undone. For damaging the ring he is immediately disqualified. Another hero fallen before the match could even be decided.

The Hammer...

As anyone who's paid to watch a fight knows - there is always the risk that a bout will end in less than satisfying fashion. That means another inconclusive result for our record books, but what about the rules of the competition?

On the surface of it - it seems frustration got the better of Wonder Man, ending the match in a disqualification, but there is an intriguing possibility of reading into this result as an easy way out of a fight he didn't really want to have...

When Colossus was brought through the training area after losing his match, The Thing had a clear impression of how the young X-Man "did 'imself proud". So we could assume there's a live feed showing waiting challengers each match. Which means Wonder Man would've known Hulk was disqualified for a similar outburst.

Ultimately, I think we're to take it all at face value. Yes, Simon Williams had deep seeded doubts about his ability and desire to fight, but the support of the crowd spurred him to find his heroic spirit, and despite looking more spry than Sasquatch after taking The Champ's punches -- the weight of the situation, combined with the restrictions of the squared circle, just got him riled up.

Stepping away from the page; we of course know this result is in service of setting up a main event collision between the series headliner and The Champion of The Universe! A match we've been slowly building toward as we've continued to return to Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 over the many years!

Since our last entry - a unique adaptation of Wonder Man has become a Marvel Disney+ streaming series, and even more appropriately, The Champion of the Universe has been revealed to finally be taking the obvious role of a video game final boss in the upcoming Marvel Tokon: Fighting Souls.

The Champ did make it into the Contest of Champions mobile game a few years back, but as a noted fan of Capcom's Marvel fighting classics, it always made sense to me that he would fit perfectly into the classic fighting format, either as a powerhouse sub-boss, or as the engine for the entire game, as in Marvel Tokon.

Actually, Capcom's Marvel Super Heroes, with its Infinity Gem system loosely inspired by The Infinity Gauntlet, always seemed like a good place for The Champion to slot right in as a sub-boss. Particularly given his later association with the Infinity Stone of Power, seen as a pivotal plot point in his fight with She-Hulk and the all-important rematch.

The Champ also could've worked well in a new Marvel vs Capcom game, if Arc System Works didn't beat them to it for Tokon. It might've been nice to see Balrog (aka; M.Bison, aka; "Boxer") make some kind of appearance there. Heck. I don't particularly need to see Wonder Man in a fighting game roster, but the thought occurs that he was Johnny Cage before there was a Johnny Cage! Note that The Avenger slash actor is fighting with his sunglasses still on in our feature.

Next time we see The Champion of the Universe, it will no doubt be his classic main event blockbuster with The Thing -- but this won't be the end of our fun with Tryco Slatterus. There's a whole other card I'd like to explore in future entries!

If that sounds like a good idea to you - consider supporting the project on Patreon. Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has been serving superhero smackdown for well over 750 fights, ranking more than 1000 of your favourite characters with detailed information resources and review all free for your convenience!

You can find the entire fighting history, including more bouts from Marvel Two-In-One and all future entries, by diving in to the Secret Archives! That's a complete index of every featured fight in order of publisher, series, and issue number. Or simply follow links throughout each feature to find more from your favourite characters, series, and subjects. That's how you become the ultimate fighter!

You can also get daily recommendations inspired by popular topics of the day by subscribing to X (aka; Twitter)! Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share to help boost the signal -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday on X & Discord! The lively Discord chat is one of the bonuses of becoming a Patreon subscriber. Ring the bell and get in the ring!

Winner: No Contest (Draw)
#71 (+3) Champion of the Universe [+1 draw]
#76 (+6) Wonder Man [+1 draw]

RHINO versus THING

One Man's Prison (Marvel)
Where: The Thing #24 When: June 1985
Why: Michael Carlin How: Ron Wilson & Joe Sinnott

The Story So Far...
The Thing has returned home from his adventures on Battleworld, but his arrival proves less than triumphant when he learns of a budding relationship between Johnny Storm and his ex-girlfriend Alicia Masters!

The last place Thing wants to be is with the Fantastic Four, so he books himself a bus ticket to Ticonderoga and sets out to visit old pal Quasar, who not too long ago offered him work at Project Pegasus.

Thing isn't the only noteworthy passenger boarding the motorcoach for North Country. Fate would have it that old FF foe, The Miracle Man, is on the same busline and their journey is about to take them on the same course as a heavily armored prison truck carrying the perfect muscle for the magician -- The Rhino!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Thing 3 (Straight A)
Speed: Rhino 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thing 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Thing 2 (Average)
Fighting: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: The Thing 22 (Champion)

Step right up! It's a super heavyweight showdown in the classic Marvel style!

In one corner we have The Rampaging Rhino! Aleksei Sytsevich - a brutish thug who subjected himself to dangerous experimental procedures that greatly enhanced his strength & durability, but also left him trapped within a full body rhinoceros-like hide grafted directly to his skin.

The suit traditionally boasts powerful Rhino horns that add further threat to his charging assault, but over the years he's occasionally been modified with various armored enhancements and offensive additions. These impermanent alterations speak to fleeting attempts to update a bona fide classic!

In the other corner we have Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew! The world-savin', ever lovin' Benjamin J Grimm - otherwise known as the blue-eyed Thing!

The Thing is a man who can relate to Rhino's experience. Due to insufficient shielding on a certain fated space mission -- Grimm was subjected to dangerous levels of cosmic radiation that greatly enhanced his strength & durability, but also trapped him within a monstrous rocky exterior.

In addition to their broadly similar lot in life -- Rhino and Thing have found themselves tough enough to go up against some common enemies. Most notably, they're both recurring sparring partners for the incredible Hulk!

So far, our record can only speak for The Thing, who had a little help from an underground saboteur while grappling with Hulk in Fantastic Four #12, and fell short of a conclusion when a blow knocked him through the floor during a showdown between the Secret Defenders and FF in Fantastic Four #374!

For Rhino, the price of nigh invulnerability is his inescapable imprisonment within his ultra-durable hide, but there have been rare instances when he was briefly liberated. Frequent arch-nemesis Spider-Man used a chemical compound to dissolve the suit in Amazing Spider-Man #43, as retold in Spider-Man: Blue #2.

Thing has access to one of the greatest minds in the Marvel Universe, but in this battle they aren't on speaking terms, so we won't rely on scientific smarts winning this encounter.

The Punisher used one of Arnim Zola's dreaded Satan Claws to enhance his strength enough to knock Rhino on his ass in Punisher War Journal #3, but Thing won't need any gimmicks to deliver that calibre of punch!

We've seen him trade blows with the likes of Gladiator, Captain Marvel, Super-Skrull, Paibok The Power Skrull, Doctor Doom, The Super Adaptoid, Gomdulla, and even The Sentry, so we've gotta think he could handle the Rhino. Let's find out!

The Tape: Thing Ranking: Thing (#13)

What Went Down...

Reluctantly liberated from the prison transport taking him to Project Pegasus -- Rhino quickly falls under the spell of The Miracle Man!

His dim-witted rage is easily exploited by the carnival magician, who redirects the Rhino's frustrated rampage towards the passenger bus that ferried both Miracle Man and The Thing to the Rhino's path. An effort to eliminate any witnesses.

The passengers flee for their lives, but engrossed in his newspaper, and unwittingly under the hypnotic suggestion of The Miracle Man -- The Thing doesn't exit the bus - or see the peril coming!

Rhino collides with the side of the vehicle -- sending it grinding from the roadside towards the mountainside edge! It teeters for an extended moment and then begins the tumbling plunge down a sheer cliff!

As the bus is torn to shreds in the tumbling descent -- The Thing emerges from the twisted metal and stops his fall with a firm grip on the cliffside!

He makes the climb back to the top, where horrified onlookers are relieved to find their fellow passenger has survived his fall.

He's red hot mad about his quiet ride being interrupted and intent on collecting his $13.50 paid from the bus service -- or the one responsible for ruining his day.

Thing finally recognizes The Miracle Man at the front of the crowd, but the mentalist calls upon the Rhino to prevent a reprisal!

Thing's surprised to find the notorious villain's as big as he is. He braces for impact, but is still sent hurtling by the collision with Rhino's horn!

Buoyed by the support of the crowd, and an awareness of Rhino's reputation from Spider-Man and the Avengers, Thing picks himself up from the rocks that broke his fall, and prepares to return fire.

"I'm gettin' up, Rhino -- now's yer chance ta beg fer mercy! No response, eh? Yer just gonna stand there like a mope, eh? Okay, big boy --"

The hypnotized Rhino is unresponsive to Thing's warning -- taking the full brunt of an overhanded right punch that sends him flying through the air!

The Rhino crashes into more nearby mountain rock, but the blow shakes him out of his hypnotized stupor.

He's back on his feet and of his own sound mind, but before Rhino can get to grips with what's going on -- he's instinctively charging to meet an oncoming Thing!

The two super-heavyweights lock up and Rhino tries to tell The Thing he's been acting under somebody else's spell. That the blows have shaken him out of it.

Already feeling the weight of the world, and caught in the heat of battle, Thing ignores the grappling Rhino's plea for reason, and hurls him violently across the makeshift battlefield!

The toss leaves the already bruised Rhino rattled -- and gives Thing time to think about his opponent's claim.

The seasoned hero knows he was influenced by Miracle Man's power on the bus, and it stands to reason that Rhino could be too -- even if he is one of the bad guys. So he gives the villain a chance to explain and it all makes sense.

The Hammer...

The battle leaves Rhino stopped in his tracks, but more torturous than the beating is the thought that he may have lost his ticket to Project Pegasus for the apparent breakout attempt.

His prison sentence was to be shortened in exchange for submitting to an experimental Pegasus program designed to further understanding for dealing with super-human criminals. If all went well, it could also potentially end in freeing Rhino from the hide he was surgically grafted within.

Sytsevich has had enough of being trapped inside his in-human grey coating and taken advantage of for his power. A sob story that hits close to home for the ever lovin' Thing, who fully intends to vouch for the super-criminal, and give him a shot at returning to a normal life. The kind of chance Thing wishes he could have, if his cosmic ray-induced mutation could be so easily reversed.

Unfortunately for both of them -- Miracle Man has other ideas and isn't about to let everyone just walk away!

I've always thought of Miracle Man as one of the rare misses from the legendary original Stan Lee & Jack Kirby run of Fantastic Four. He's just a bit too cliche and ill fitted for the FF, who found a more interesting mystic nemesis in Diablo.

Yet, in classic comics style, he became a bit more appealing as he lingered, better matched against Son of Satan and The Defenders, and ultimately an interesting throwback to return in The Thing solo series, which was a bit hit & miss over its three year run. Pairing him up with a bigger name villain for a dream match really helps sweeten the issue, series, and Miracle Man's return in general.

There's more action to be had, with an unexpected fourth player, but that's a fight for another day. For now, we're enjoying the simple pleasures of a marquee match-up between two of Marvel Comics' classic super-heavyweight bruisers!

The jaded grump in me thinks this kind of issue is a thing of the past in American comic books, for better or worse, but I was excited to see the recent announcement of a new five-issue mini-series that will take The Thing on a clobberin' tour of the Marvel Universe.

It might not be a pleasing, carefully considered, character-driven dream bout, but I'm never the less interested to see what comes of a brawling gauntlet through some of Marvel's classic and obscure villains. Assuming all is as it seems, that brand of uncomplicated fun with favourite foes could really hit the spot!

The Rhino match doesn't quite live up to the hype, but sometimes it's nice when these punch-ups give way to a sympathetic sub-plot. I know we're on The Comic Book Fight Club, but hey. Sometimes there's more to life than violence!

That Rhino starts the issue just as nervous as the Pegasus sentries guarding him is a nice touch, setting up his anxiety about seeing his stay through without any incidents. Rhino might be a bit of a dummy, but he's been around long enough to know trouble has a way of finding him. He doesn't want any of it. Not this time!

Ron Wilson is established as one of the great Thing artists, but I also really enjoy his classic rendering of Rhino here. He's got the Romita dimensions and broad face that gives the design a lot of character despite its relative simplicity.

This is the Rhino I like to see. I sure as heck don't want any mech-suit nonsense, and I could really do without the decorative jewelry and padding as well. There are plenty of characters who are better suited to all that jazz. Rhino might not be fancy, but he's one of a kind. A classic model you don't need to mess around with.

As for the verdict for today's featured fight... It teeters on the brink of the inconclusive, with Thing sympathetically helping Rhino to his feet, but I think the brawl is decisive enough to call this one a win for The Thing, even if we consider it an asterisk for Miracle Man's influence dulling Rhino's awareness. The blows stopped him in his tracks and he is as good as tapped out.

Should we take a look at what happens when Rhino faces his would-be master? If you'd like to help make that happen sooner than later, you might like to consider becoming a supporter on Patreon this holiday season.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 700 fights and ranked more than 1,000 of your favourite characters! You can find 'em all by diving in to the Secret Archive for a complete index in order of publisher, series, and issue number -- or by following links throughout each post to discover more from your favourite characters, creators, series, and categories!

Get daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing to X (aka; Twitter)! Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday on X & Discord! The lively Discord chat is one of the bonuses of becoming a Patreon subscriber!

Winner: Thing
#11 (+2) The Thing
#1087 (-11) Rhino
#668 (new) Miracle Man [+1 assist]

COLOSSUS versus CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE

And They Shall Call Him... Champion! (Marvel)
Where: Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 When: 1982
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Ron Wilson

The Story So Far...
The Fantastic Four's Thing has earned a reputation as one of the universe's greatest fighters, having battled some of the most powerful beings of multiple galaxies! Enter: Proja - Promoter Supreme!

Charged with signing worthy opponents to challenge The Champion of the Universe; Proja sees big box office potential in a main event match between Thing and his client!

Madison Square Garden is the only arena in the world that could stage the once in a lifetime title bout, but you can't have a main event without an undercard! The Champ welcomes the challenge of some of Earth's most powerful defenders, but his pugilistic code swiftly eliminates Thor and Hulk from defending their planet.

Sasquatch did his best to test The Champ's ring awareness with brains and brawn, but with the Alpha Flight strongman knocked out it's now time for Colossus to test the mettle of the alien boxer!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Champion 7 (Omnipotent)
Intelligence: Draw 2 (Average)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Champion 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Champion 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: Champion of the Universe 29 (Metahuman)

Champion of the Universe seemed evasive in the opening bouts, disqualifying Thor and dodging Hulk with a pair of technicalities, but finally established some much needed credibility when he knocked out Sasquatch!

This time The Champ welcomes the challenge of one of Sasquatch's old sparring partners -- Colossus: the mighty mutant with skin of organic steel!

Like other opponents Colossus poses a simple question of strength, stamina, and tenacity. The spirit is almost certainly willing, but despite his status as an X-Men powerhouse, he has a bit of a patchy record against other heavyweights.

Colossus famously came off second best in the barroom brawl with Juggernaut in Uncanny X-Men #183, got kayoed by a precision blast from Nimrod in Uncanny #194, and met a similar fate fighting a tech-assisted Apocalypse in #295.

He's still considered a relatively young man, finding his way in the world at the time of this battle, which takes place in the same year he was turned against his teammates to unsuccessfully fight Dracula in X-Men Annual #6, and dumped down the side of a butte by DC's Deathstroke during the Teen Titans crossover!

Despite all this, Colossus is not without his triumphs. In X-Men #113 he defied the magnetic influence of Magneto with hard hitting results, and years later will crush Breakworld warrior Ord in Astonishing X-Men #5.

This bout also takes place after his well known stand against Shi'ar Imperial Praetor Gladiator, who also outclassed him in strength and durability. Could that have been the perfect preparation to cause an intergalactic upset? Let's find out!

The Tape: Champion of the Universe Ranking: Champion of the Universe (#118)

What Went Down...

While opportunistic men attempt to capitalize on shrinking odds against the planet Earth -- one of its youngest bright sparks has already stepped into the ring!

The Champion welcomes the gleaming Colossus to the bright lights of Madison Square Garden with a haymaking left that sends him flying across the ring!

The metal mutant is only stopped when he slams into an adjacent turnbuckle!

Trapped in the corner, he has nowhere to go as The Champion closes in to deliver an unrelenting barrage of high-impact body blows!

Spittle escaping his mouth is the only sign of the agony radiating through his body as Colossus stoically absorbs every punch with stubborn determination!

Despite his valiant refusal to succumb to the pain, Colossus has no response for the merciless sequence of blows that rock his body!

The referee has little choice but to call for the bell.

Colossus drops silently to his knees as The Champions' punches cease. His slumped body unable to carry itself from the ring, he awaits a stretcher as the remaining challengers watch-on, impressed with his steely resolve.

The Hammer...

Any doubt about Champion of the Universe's legitimacy melts away as he annihilates Colossus in a single page of pulse pounding action!

It was a particularly brutal bout, leaving little opportunity for Colossus to strike. Was there something in particular about the young mutant that set The Champ off, or did his prior bout with Sasquatch simply remind him not to take Earth's mightiest mortals lightly?

If this were an X-Men Annual, perhaps it would be Colossus who made the final stand, but we're in the pages of Marvel Two-In-One, where The Thing will inevitably be the star to face the final challenge, and make the bravest challenge.

It's a suitable distinction between the two characters and their similar arcs, paid homage by Thing as Colossus is stretchered out after the match, and he remarks to the only other remaining competitor: "The kid did 'imself proud! Lasted almost a full round! Hope he ain't hurt too bad!"

We tend to think of Colossus as the unbreakable X-Man always there to face down the strongest obstacles, but in those early days he was still a young man, mildly unsure of himself, and coming in to his powers.

DeFalco's script makes a note of the "armored youth", emphasizing the distinction, and providing something of a companion piece to the similarly overwhelming odds of his ill fated showdown with the cosmic Gladiator during the Dark Phoenix saga. A legendary battle that's been on my To Do list for too long!

Colossus is an interesting study and I'm eager to look at more of his combat history, but we're also building up our casefile for The Champion, who now enters the Top 100 ranks with today's win!

It's a result that's beginning to reflect his status within the cosmic pugilistic ranks of the Marvel Universe -- but I wonder how far he will go. His next opponent is the suddenly topical Avenger standing with Thing [above] - Wonder Man. Then we'll move on to the main event that made this issue famous!

If you'd like to hasten the process, sponsor another character spotlight, or just encourage our ever expanding project -- you can become a supporter on Patreon! As a thank you you'll receive additional updates, materials, customizable article typs, and my eternal gratitude.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has always been free and features more than 650 battles and has ranked over 1,000 characters! You can find them all by diving into the Secret Archive for a complete index of featured fights ordered by publisher, series, and issue number.

You can get daily links to superhero smackdown inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing on Twitter and Facebook. Be sure to like, fave, and share posts, and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday!

Winner: Champion of the Universe
#72 (+46) Champion of the Universe
#437 (-2) Colossus

SASQUATCH versus CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE

And They Shall Call Him... Champion! (Marvel)
Where: Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 When: October 1982 Why: Tom DeFalco How: Ron Wilson

The Story So Far...
The Fantastic Four's Thing has  earned a reputation as one of the universe's greatest fighters, having battled some of the most powerful beings in this universe - and beyond! Enter: Proja - Promoter Supreme!

Charged with signing worthy opponents to face The Champion of the Universe; Proja sees big box office potential in a match between Thing and his client! Madison Square Garden is the only arena in the world that could stage this once in a lifetime title bout, but you can't have a main event without an undercard!

Thor was disqualified when he brought his enchanted hammer into the ring, and Hulk was deemed too much of a brute to be allowed to compete. Now it's up to Alpha Flight heavyweight Sasquatch to bring brains and brawn to blows against the fresh fists of The Champion!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Champion 7 (Omnipotent)
Intelligence: Sasquatch 6 (Genius)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Champion 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Champion 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: Champion of the Universe 29 (Metahuman)

Champion of the Universe came into this with a lot of fanfare and bluster, but at this point you'd be within your rights to wonder if it's all just hype. Let's take a closer look at the tournament so far to see exactly what's happened!

Two heavyhitters were taken out before the action even started: Doc Samson was knocked out cold by his training robot, and Sub-Mariner refused to fight on grounds of not lowering himself to "such folly".

When Thor finally stepped into the ring to begin proceedings, he was swiftly disqualified for bringing a hammer to a boxing match. It was a no contest with Hulk as well when he was deemed too much of a brute to compete!

So far it seems like all The Champion has done is talk trash, and duck & dodge his most powerful challengers with technicalities. So what's he gonna do next? Disqualify his opponent on grounds of fur constituting illegal body covering?!

We know from future reference that Tryco Slatterus actually is the real deal. All you've gotta do is check out the way he dominated She-Hulk in their first match to see that! Don't count his next opponent out, though. This time it's different!

Sasquatch answers the question of what would happen if the Hulk retained the brilliant mind of a scientist. He's a professor of physics whose experiments with gamma radiation gave him super-human strength with total control.

So far Sasquatch has an 0-1 record on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, but that loss only came after he stood his ground against all four members of the mystically powered Wrecking Crew in Omega Flight #1!

Dr. Walter Langkowski is pretty impressive, and although he's regarded as a strongman and brawler, his background as a professional football player means he should understand the competitive conditions Champion demands. Can he put it together with the fate of the Earth on the line? Let's find out!

The Tape: Champion of the Universe Ranking: Champion of the Universe (#337)

What Went Down...

Sasquatch materializes in the ring an instant after Hulk has disappeared for disqualification. The Champion is beginning to lose faith in Earth's challengers, but his spirits rise when Sasquatch side-steps the first punch!

Sensing a need to keep The Champion off balance, Sasquatch slips around him with a go-behind into a high waist lock.

The wrestling-style tactic falls flat with The Champ, who'd expect the referee to break it up -- if he didn't solve his own problem with a shrug of the shoulder, and thrust of his forearm in Sasquatch's general direction!

Champion follows it up with a wild left that hits deep and launches Sasquatch backwards into the ropes. He callously urges Sasquatch to fight back. He does!

Having played possum to try to expose hidden motives for The Champion of the Universe's game, Sasquatch decides to stop holding back. He bounces off the ropes and leaps with momentum towards a finishing blow -- or so he thinks!

The wild trajectory of Sasquatch's jump takes him straight into the sweet spot of The Champion's devastating left hook! There's nothing he can do to stop the impact as Champ's glove smashes against his jaw!

The phenomenal power of the perfect strike leaves Sasquatch out on his feet -- keeling over for a ten count. The biggest challenger, the hardest to fall!

The Hammer...

A valiant effort from Sasquatch in the first real fight of the tournament, but Champion of the Universe is clearly still the undisputed champ! His pugilistic power was just too much for Sasquatch's catch-as-catch-can confusion.

Champion really needed a convincing win after two non-starters with Thor and Hulk. Boy did he get it! That last shot of Sasquatch doubling over, drool pouring from his mouth, is a pretty effective and haunting image.

Something about the bluntness of it really sells the utter devastation of The Champ's last blow. It's fairly unusual to see a character like Sasquatch look so physically pathetic. The heavy shadow enhances the drama, while Champion's idle posture conveys how utterly unconcerned he is with his defeated foe.

I presume there was some concern with the depiction of blood throughout the issue. I don't think its absence hurts any of the fights, though. That stream of saliva might be even more disturbing. Blood can happen from an incidental blow to the brow or lip, but to drool like that you need to be completely slack-jawed!

Top marks to artist Ron Wilson for creating such a distinct and dramatic image for the third bout. We've already seen him create a different style and character for each battle, with three more to go. That shouldn't be taken for granted!

Sasquatch might seem like a slightly unusual contender through today's prism, but in 1982 he was still a fresh and exciting addition to the Marvel Universe, having debuted early in the Claremont & Byrne run on X-Men, in 1979.

It was some clever booking to have Sasquatch step into the ring right after Hulk was eliminated for being too much of a brute. Sasquatch immediately addresses what might've happened had Hulk retained greater clarity and intellect. I would presume that might also be the reason Doc Samson was taken out before the fighting even began. They're both gamma irradiated powerhouses.

I don't quite buy the self-sacrificing stalling tactic to find out Champion's "real" motivation for threatening the Earth, but it at least gave Sasquatch fans an argument to save face for his ultimately brutal beating.

Sasquatch was also a competitor in the Contest of Champions just a month or two prior to Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7. Which happens to be one of the reasons we've finally come back to revisit the boxing tournament! He's currently appearing in our unofficial sequel! You can check out The Contest: Swamp Thing vs Sasquatch for all the details on how that works, and what went down!

When next we reconvene to Madison Square Garden we'll be seeing if the steely mutant mettle of Colossus can bring an end to the reign of Tryco Slatterus as Champion of the Universe! I hope you'll be here to join me when it happens!

At the time of this writing, the majority of sporting leagues have been put on indefinite hold while the world faces the deadly spread of COVID-19. I'll be doing my best to keep the fight alive with the usual superhero smackdown.

If you need a sporting distraction: you can find well over 600 featured fights on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths! They're indexed in the Secret Archive in order of publisher, series, and issue number. You can also discover more by following links throughout this post, or getting daily updates via Twitter and Facebook!

If you like what Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is all about, and want to help it succeed, you can contribute to the project via Patreon. Patrons receive inside access to the schedule and special request feature articles. Not to mention my eternal gratitude and continued survival!

Winner: Champion of the Universe
#109 (+228) Champion of the Universe
#920 (-231) Sasquatch

THOR versus CONAN

What If Thor of Asgard Had Met Conan the Barbarian? (Marvel)
Where: What If? #39 When: June 1983
Why: Alan Zelenetz How: Ron Wilson

The Story So Far...
Victorious in battle with the Frost Giants of Jotunheim: Thor, God of Thunder, followed his wicked half-brother into a cavernous labyrinth. In search of the mischief-making Loki, Thor chose a path that led him backwards through time, into the realm of Troy during the Trojan War.

This was but one course of history, but what of the path not taken? In another reality, Thor chose a different tunnel, one that led him to ancient age of Hyboria! There, his memory was lost and godly powers diminished, making him prone to the wanted warrior-thief stalking Corinthia: Conan The Barbarian!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Thor 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Conan 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thor 6 (Generator)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Conan 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Thor 5 (Lasers)
Total: Thor 32 (Super)

It's a fantasy fight worthy of the greatest myths and legend! A dream battle, bridging the gulf of time and reality to pit God against Barbarian! The question is simple: What if Thor of Asgard met Conan the Cimmerian?

This is the first time we've seen Conan on The Comic Book Fight Club! His reputation precedes him, but he may not always be well represented by assumptions. Yes, Conan is a savage warrior -- but he's also a learned traveler, and incredibly canny combat strategist. Skills he'll certainly need to best a god!

Conan is stronger and more durable than most normal men, but he isn't super-human. Ordinarily that would put him at a significant disadvantage against the nigh invulnerable god of thunder, but this battle features a weakened Thor.

When Beta Ray Bill first battled the Odinson in Thor #337, he demonstrated that an evenly matched opponent could challenge Thor with pure heart and courage. Conan has plenty of both, but its unlikely the barbarian would be deemed worthy of wielding the enchanted hammer Mjolnir against Thor, as Bill was.

Mjolnir has been key to Thor winning against some other high-profile crossover opponents. The hammer's influence over lightning helped quash the pantheon of powers at Captain Marvel's disposal, in Marvel versus DC #2. He also got the drop on Superman with Mjolnir, sucker-striking him in JLA/Avengers #1!

Thor wasn't quite himself when he attacked Superman and he isn't quite himself in today's battle, either. His travel has left him weakened, but also disoriented. That could be significant, if his history with fugue states is anything to go by!

When Thor succumbed to a madness, he became a rampaging berserker who dominated many powerful challengers, including the Super-Skrull [Thor #464], and Drax The Destroyer [Warlock and The Infinity Watch #21]! There was also the Heroes Reborn pocket universe Thor, who was manipulated by Loki into fighting the entire Avengers to a standstill in Avengers (Vol.2) #1. All in all, disorientation only makes Thor a more dangerous threat. Bad news for Conan!

Conan won't hesitate to exploit Thor's apparent vulnerability, but the odds of cutting him asunder with a sword still seems remote. Without his usual strength, endurance, and command of the storm, Thor's vulnerable, but the only way we can truly know what would happen is by reading on!

The Tape: Thor Ranking: Thor (#29)

What Went Down...
Suddenly struck with an unshakeable disorientation, Thor encounters a pack of Corinthian soldiers on the hunt. Little does any of them realize, they're being watched from the mountains above by the wanted thief: Conan The Cimmerian!

A sudden hail of boulders betrays Conan's position as he uses the terrain to secure a tactical advantage against the four soldiers and Thor! The Thunderer escapes harm, but scales the mountain to confront his unseen attacker!

Conan mistakes the blonde-haired god for a contemporary of Aesir, but his lack of quarrel with those of the North doesn't interest Thor. He launches himself at the appeasing Cimmerian -- sending both tumbling down the mountain side!

The barbarian mockingly presumes madness on Thor's behalf. Only a madman would travel so far to "have his bowels carved in warmer climes!" They scramble to their feet and Conan makes the first move, aiming to oblige his new foe!

The overhead sword strike is easily blocked by Thor's hammer. He swings wildly in retaliation, completing his arc just in time to block the ducking barbarian's sword!

The verbal sparring continues as Conan swings for Thor's neck, but again strikes blade to uru metal hammer! Incensed by Conan's bravado as much as his fighting, Thor swings Mjolnir with renewed purpose - swatting the sword away!

The barbarian is disarmed, but by no means harmless! With impressive strength he hoists a massive boulder above his head and tosses it at his opponent!

Thor goes down and suffers the indignation of further taunting! Conan compares the toppled thunder god to a tortoise and stokes his godly ire! Thor leaps back to his feat and charges at Conan to grapple hand-to-hand in a test of strength!

Even with his senses dulled, Thor's godly strength is more than a match for the Cimmerian warrior. The thunderer hurls Conan wildly into surrounding rock!

The impact would devastate any ordinary man, but Conan endures, remarking in awe of the incredible strength possessed by his mysterious foe! The barbarian rises, not with aggression in his heart, but respect!

His arms hang peacefully by his sides as Conan assures Thor it is no act of treachery. With that, Thor stays his hand & hammer as well, recruited to be Conan's travelling partner. He receives a fallen Conrinthian's sword at Conan's assistance and the pair head off into a new adventure.

The Hammer...
Well, there you have it! The battle ends in a mutual ceasefire, leaving fans of each warrior to debate the merits of their combat beyond its conclusion.

There's an obvious case to be made that Thor had the advantage thanks to his superior strength. That said, Conan is also renowned for his ability to endure, and was down but far from out when Thor turned on the muscle!

Here on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths we primarily focus on the results that did happen, but if prompted to ask "What If?", I would certainly lean in favour of an eventual Thor victory. Of course, by the end of the issue, it's the weakened Thor who perishes in final battle with Stygian wizard Thoth-Amon. Not Conan!

You might scoff at the thought of Thor dying in such a way, but grim death was a traditional fixture of the What if? series, particularly into its second volume, where a 'be careful what you wish for' element to stories was common.

I was already thinking about today's battle from What If? (Vol.1) #39 thanks to the announcement that Conan The Barbarian will join the Marvel Universe in May's Savage Avengers. Imagine my surprise earlier this week when /Film also reported an animated version of What If? is in development for Disney+!

According to the story, the streaming What If? cartoon will feature branching alternate realities based on events from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That makes it hard to imagine episodes punctuated with major hero's deaths, but you never do know! The first confirmed story will feature Loki finding the hammer of Thor, borrowing a basic concept from What If? (Vol.1) #47.

Reducing the series to Marvel's movie slate limits the scope that made What If? one of my favourite series growing up, but if it also minimizes the chance for creating cumbersome rifts within the mainstream universe. A good thing, since it's still a crapshoot whether these movies "get it right", and far too early to start subverting what's still in the process of being established.

Marvel had a library of almost two decades worth of monthly printed adventures before the concept of What If? was introduced in 1977. Even more, if you also include the Golden Age of characters like Captain America and Sub-Mariner! Granted, those stories were much less likely to be drawn from than the modern pages of the "Marvel Age", begun with 1961's Fantastic Four, who also starred in the first issue of What If?, in a reference to 1963's Amazing Spider-Man #1.

Simple ideas like Spider-man joining the Fantastic Four -- instead of being rejected -- are a lot of fun when you have a firm grasp of who the characters are. When these stories intrude upon informing an audience, that tends to erode at the core concept, damage lode baring ideas, and generally lead to sloppy and increasingly meaningless fiction.

I'm not quite sure if that's how I would view Conan The Barbarian becoming part of the Marvel Universe with Savage Avengers, but it's close.

Marvel has a long history with the pulp barbarian, who was created in 1932 for Weird Tales magazine by Robert E Howard. Marvel started publishing stories in 1970, helping usher in the modern (or bronze) age of comics. Despite all this, Conan is owned and licensed by Cabinet Entertainment -- not Marvel.

Marvel have tied some licensed characters into their shared universe before. Iron Man and SHIELD battled Godzilla. ROM Space Knight and Micronauts led superheroes and toylines to meet with some regularity, as well. Of course, in the case of ROM, I can't help but think of the years of licensing entanglements that kept collections from being reprinted. Which is one of the reasons bringing Conan into Marvel Comics proper seems like a bigger hassle than its worth.

To that point: As far as I know, "What If? Classic" collections omitted this and other issues containing Conan. That might be rectified now that the Conan license is back with Marvel, and an animated series might drive interest in reissued collections, but you need only imagine if this were a regular series to see the frustration that could lie ahead with Savage Avengers.

For my money, these type of crossovers are best released as mini-series. Isolated stories that play with the concepts, deliver dream matches, but don't overstay their welcome, damage either property, or cause long term problems.

I'm sure we'll be back to look at more from the Thor & Conan team-up. If you'd like to find more crossover dream matches, or just discover more tales from different universes - dive into the Secret Archive! There you'll find every featured fight indexed by publisher, series, and issue number!

You can also follow and subscribe to Secret Wars on Infinite Earths on Twitter and Facebook to get regular links to fights inspired by the topics of the day! Be sure to like, share, and retweet the best battles!

Winner: Inconclusive (Draw)
#29 (--) Thor
#426 (new) Conan The Barbarian