TOMBSTONE versus SPIDER-MAN
Will (Marvel comics)
Where: Spectacular Spider-man #142 When: September 1988
Why: Gerry Conway How: Sal Buscema

The story so far...
Robbie Robertson has made a name for himself as a stern force for journalism, but his past is catching up with him as he feels the push of the albino gangster - Tombstone.

Unwilling to comply with lies any longer, Robertson prepares a tape detailing his dirty history with the thug, and unsuccessfully confronts Tombstone with a firearm.

The casette recording of Robbertson's full confession becomes the hot potato as Tombstone goes on a rampage to retrieve the evidence. Mary-Jane finds herself terrorized by the criminal, and Peter Parker is his next hit -- unless Spidey can get to him first!

Previous Form:
Tombstone (#50): Tombstone has a solid victory over Spidey's pal, Daredevil.
Spider-man (#2): Spider-man has victories over Kraven the Hunter, and Man-Ape.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Spider-man 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Spider-man 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Tombstone 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Tombstone 2 (Projectile Weapons)

Well, what do you know? I get the deficit down to under a month and then run head-long into computer gremlins! What a buzzkill!
These scans were done before afforementioned problems, so you might have to bare with me for a little while after this. Anyway...

We've slapped the tape around these two fellows before, Tombstone beind inducted in combat with Daredevil [Daredevil #90] just over a month ago.
With that in mind, you should well know that Tombstone is a tough customer!

Unlike the situation with Daredevil, Spidey's strength not only matches Tombstone but has the potential to well surpass it in short bursts. Which makes this a slightly less intriguing match-up.
Certainly Tombstone's formidable strength makes him a challenge for Spider-man, but Spidey's strength gives him an edge of execution where his speed and agility are concerned.

The advantages against Tombstone make it a fairly easy pick, but don't let the disrespect of recent years fool ya! Tombstone should be noted for being well capable of playing above his level.

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Meanwhile -- in Atlanta, Spidey stops by a construction site to sit on a girder and wait for Tombstone, having arranged a drop-off of the evidence tape as Peter Parker.

After waiting forty minutes, the elevator finally emerges but Spider-man's spidey-sense warns him of an incoming swinging pulley hook!
Standing on the level above, Tombstone declares how pleased he is Parker 'called' him, and dives down to tackle the web-slinger in mid-air!

Spidey shoots off a webline preventing the two from falling to their doom, but the move gives the suicide-diving Tombstone the edge to swing them into construction matter.

Tombstone grabs a nearby piece of metallic piping and uses it to catch Spider-man by the stomach and swing him around into metal mesh fencing.
With the spider all tangled up, Tombstone continues the punishment, actually working up a sweat as he swings blow after blow down on the hero.

With Spider-man reeling, Tombstone uses the pipe to push him over the edge and then swats him over with a swing that suggests a pretty low handicap!

Tombstone stands triumphant, but as he attempts to survey the devestation, he finds himself unable to spot the expected red and blue stain below. Uh-oh!

With sticky hands, Spider-man swings himself up from the floor below, driving his feet into Tombstone's pasty mug with explosive force.

Tombstone's up quick, but Spider-man continues the return, knocking him down with the proportional strength of a spider to the point where major orthodontal reconstruction is most likely.

The ribs don't miss out though, Spider-man driving his mighty fist deep into the mid-section of the bruising baddie, before swinging through with another right-hook.

Despite the amazing beatdown, somehow Tombstone still manages to rise to his feet once more. Remember kiddies -- Tombstone plays above his level!

As Spider-man professes his superiority, he provokes a wild charging attack from the man in black.
Spidey backs his words up, showing off his speed with a matador side-step that leaves Tombstone eating girder.

In a bizarre moment of pathos, Tombstone reveals a sign of redemption as Spider-man asks, "Why didn't you kill Robbie Robertson when you had the chance?"

Kill Robbie Robertson? How could he? Robbie's his friend.

With the villain out on his feet, Spider-man finishes the job, using his super strength to knock Tombstone straight off the scaffolding!
As Tombstone plummets to his doom, Spider-man plays the good hero, shooting off a line of webbing that jerks his lethal foe back, before dropping him into a truck full of wet cement.

And as Spider-man retrieves the tape he'd dropped during the fight, unbeknownst to either he or Tombstone, Robbie Robertson finishes his complete confession to the press from his hospital bed.

Despite his criminal negligence, Robbie Roberton's family and friends, including his old friend and boss, J. Jonah Jameson, all agree to back him for his courage.
A win for the good guys all around, I'd say...

The hammer...
And Spider-man starts the year off with an impressive victory!

Meanwhile, as I mentioned earlier, I'm not having that kind of Spidey-luck. My decrepid old computer is struggling to come to terms with word processing, let alone the scanning of superhero smackdown -- so once more there may be a slight delay before the next entry.

Rest assured our technicians will be doing their utmost to ensure we beat any stinking pinko into unexplored blog-space. The risks are many, and though our shielding is poor, we have the hearts of champions.

FF analogies aside, I've scored a late-Christmas haul, so at the very least I have some fresh fodder coming our way. Among the battles of brilliance are mostly new stories, but rest assured, they're all checked and approved by Uatu himself.

So, anyway, I was saying during the last time we discussed Tombstone, just how much I have an affection for Sal Buscema's pencils. Well, hopefully you too can at least appreciate some kind of understanding of where I was coming from.
I guess the particularly interesting thing about Herr Buscema is not only his penchant for action, but his incredible human moments.

Amidst the flying bodies, spittle strings and punch explosions, you could lose site of the human element to Sal Buscema's work, but it's undeniably there.
Buscema's contemporary of the time, Kevin Maguire, gets most of the press for his facial expressions, but few artists have the distinctive character that Buscema is able to instill in each mug.

Buscema's Tombstone is Tombstone to me, and if there's any detail I would criticise of Lark's work, it's that is just doesn't look like Buscema. Which is a complaint that is all but impossible and ridiculous to expect to live up to.
There's just something that distinctive about Buscema's work. Likewise, his core cast from JJJ to Robbie to MJ all have a very distinctive and memoral look.

So to the youngsters joining us, if I can get all Cap on your asses, the next time you're gawking slack jawed at the rendered works of David Finch, taste pain at the hands of his better -- Sal Buscema!

And remember kids -- Tombstone plays above his level!

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 5
Note: Mr. Buscema probably doesn't consider himself anyone's better, and I cannot condone the use of 'yo momma' slurs direct toward Mr. Finch. He's a fine young artist who continues to hone his craft.

MONTHLY PUNCH-UP #13 (January 2007)
TASKMASTER versus MOONKNIGHT
The Bottom Chapter Six: Glories Such As These (Marvel)
Where: Moon Knight #6 When: November 2006
Why: Charlie Huston How: David Finch

Quick Fix...
Moon Knight is shaping up to be a character to watch in 2007, and it all starts here with the on-going series that's got a lot of the right people talking. In fact, so exciting was the return of Moon Knight, that the series was resolicited as an on-going before it was even released!

Moon Knight is one of those many second-tier characters that fell off the map during the post-nineties decline in comics, and a self-loathing depression for all we had achieved as an industry.
Unfortunately, along with other 'flash in the pan' characters, Moon Knight was washed into the corner as events and brands were manipulated back to more stable areas.

Finally Moon Knight is back in a big way, and who can't be pleased about that?
Only a dirty werewolf, that's who! A werewolf who's going to have to suck it up, as even a Moon Knight TV series has been announced off the heels of a name-reference in the ill fated Blade television programme.
Fingers crossed that comes to fruition!

Here we join Charlie Huston's Moon Knight at the tail end of a battle with the Taskmaster! Having crashed into a building, Moon Knight scrambles with Taskmaster amidst the rubble.

Taskmaster invites his foe to die, firing off arrow after arrow from a crossbow. Which, as Hawkeye would gladly tell you, is the pansy weapon of the nancy archer. Pssshyeah!

Moon Knight takes each arrow gladly and as Taskmaster draws his sword, invites him to kill him again. With no fear the Moon Knight looms over his opponent. Death is a fate Marc Spector has endured many times before.

Taskmaster cowers before the determined menace of Moon Knight, as he draws one of his razor crescent blades.

Despite being a six-issue storyarc essentially about ripping people's faces off, MK is satisfied with merely cutting Taskmaster's skull-like mask off.
Taskmaster has a meltdown, as Moon Knight leaps away -- victorious.

Certainly this is a book that has meandered it's way through it's first six issues, and in future novelist Charlie Huston might like to consider picking up the pace to better take advantage the visual advantages allowed by comic books.
Not to say Huston has made a poor transition to the medium, quite the contrary, but his formula is frustrating in how drastically it drags it's feet before racing into action, and then screeching to another halt.

Finch's lines reach a new leve here, and honestly, the excess of pencil work is a little frustrating. Some detail becomes blurred, unable to see the forest for the trees, ie; Moon Knight's cowl.
Visually it has an air of McFarlane about it, with it's unnecessary lines, and with the subject matter and overall presentation, there's a very Spawn vibe here.

Never the less, it will be very interesting to watch Moon Knight in the coming months.

The Fix: 2.5 The Issue: 5.5

An End to 23:59?...
Somewhere around the middle of 2006 I found myself lagging behind in posts, and since I'm typing this as the clock turns over to the 22nd, you probably know this already.

These posts are identified by the posting time of 23:59, and in 2007 I'm hoping to endeavour to keep the ship afloat and running on time, to again cultivate a regular viewing audience. That means posts on Fridays again, with no immediate thoughts toward Monday additions. That might change if things run smoothly.

Also, 2007 will see some slight formatting changes, including a brand spanking clean new banner that isn't as busy, but still adds colour and verve to the site.

The resetting of the top five is something I mentioned last month.
"Previous Form" will continue to feature the cumulative ranking of a character in regular posts, but the monthly punch-up will now feature an all new top five based on this month's posts. That top five will debut in February.

For those interested in the on-going developments, the super-stock will continue in punch-ups, also featuring the 'true' rankings. Thus keeping everything running smoothly, whilst allowing a fresh new wave of characters to hit the spotlight. Or Batman again.

As you'll soon see, the top five will change slightly to include more information for your viewing and stastistical pleasure. We aim to please!

The Top Five...
And now what many have been waiting for, the top five characters of 2006.
With the entries made over December, it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out where things stand at the end, but it still deserves to be canonized.

#1 Batman (-) (13) (DC)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Atomic Skull]
Win Percentage: [77.78%] Features: [9]

Batman had to finish the year in the top spot. I don't think there could have been any other just result, and it's worth it.
Spending an uninterrupted reign at the top of the table, the Batman's features highlighted what makes him such a beloved character, and such a well regarded fighting character.

After such a dominant year it might come as a surprise that I would predict a slump for Batman in 2007. Certainly the more recent creative direction of the character does not have my interest as devoted as it was, and maybe I'm just feelin a little burnt out on the character.

Certainly he'll always be a lurking presence on the site, but it might be better to start putting your money on some of the other heavy hitters this time.
Then again, as news filters out regarding the big screen Dark Knight feature, things might turn around all over again.
Best Fight in 2006: Batman & Nightwing vs Amazo

#2 Spider-man (-) (5) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Shriek & Doppelganger]
Win Percentage: [75%] Features: [8]

Spidey was a late and surprise entrant, but as one of the most recognisable characters in comics, he's certainly made his presence known here on Secret Earths.

As one of the more compelling characters in Civil War, Spidey has been ever present, and certainly I found myself in a phase of spider-mania.
As the only guy to truly challenge Batman, Spidey gets credit where it's due, and honestly... From this vantage point he's a far more likely candidate for top five in 2007.
The return of the black costume and a third feature film really promises a whole mess of accessiblity to the Spider-man. Accessibility that will no doubt again spark my interest in the character who, in many ways, represents comics for my mind.
Best Fight in 2006: The Avengers [inc. Spider-man] vs The Secret Avengers

#3 Iron Man (-) (5) (Marvel)
Class: [Super] Last Opponent: [She-Hulk]
Win Percentage: [71.43%] Features: [7]

With Civil War enveloping the entire Marvel universe, Iron Man has once again been thrust straight back into the A-list. It's no small wonder that he finishes one of the top characters of 2006.

Post-Civil War will surely be an interesting time for the Iron Man character.
An upcoming feature film almost guarantees his longevity, but as the chief instigator in the 'war on heroes,' you have to wonder how the character can recover from the 'damage' done. It should certainly be an interesting 2007 for Iron Man!
Best Fight in 2006: The Avengers [inc. Iron Man] vs The Secret Avengers

#4 Wolverine (-) (8) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Xorn]
Win Percentage: [50%] Features: [10]

On a site like this, the predictability of Wolverine being in the top five is kinda disappointing. Never the less, you can't say it isn't fitting on a blog entirely dedicated to superhero comic book fights.

Hah, like the previous three characters that have rounded the year out in the top five, Wolverine has a feature film in the wings. I guess that kind of interest will probably filter down to allow continued exposure in 2007.
Certainly the exercised restraint in the Civil War crossover has been a refreshing change of pace, with Wolverine canonically staying 'neutral' to the debate.

Though I sceptically imagine it is not, it would be nice to imagine this is a sign of changing winds in the way the crossover is written. Certainly Millar has a history of astute simplicity, and sidelining a promotional tool like Wolverine is very much along the lines of the 'fan' writing the story.
That is to say, it's what many have been able to see for two decades, but has not been organically allowed to occur.

Apparently you can't keep a good Canadian down (unless they're a throwaway member of Alpha Flight... Ouch!), and we'll probably see more of Wolvie in 2007. Sorry.
Best Fight in 2006: The X-Men [inc. Wolverine] vs Magneto

#5 Daredevil (RE) (11) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Iron Fist]
Win Percentage: [50%] Features: [8]

Well, okay. Sentimental favourite from the beginning scrapes in at the end of the year by blatant favourtism. Really Hulk should've been the first feature in December, but c'mon... It's Daredevil!

To be fair, with the exception of being featured, the issue was chosen as indifferently as possible, and hey! He didn't even win!
I guess that's the general beat of DD's drum, too. The best received Daredevil stories almost all feature some kind of overwhelming loss, and the payback isn't always worth it.

Certainly Daredevil will remain a stalwart on the blog through 2007, with the last few years worth of issues being the major fodder. Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark continue to do amazing things post-Bendis/Maleev, and DD remains a sentimental favourite.
Lord knows there are a couple of issues from the very beginning of the blog that never got featured, too. So watch out for that!
Best Fight in 2006: Daredevil & Elektra vs Bullseye

Super Stock...
1. Batman (-) (DC)
5. Daredevil (+1) (M)
6. Hulk (-1) (M)
7. Superman (-) (DC)
8. Captain America (-) (M)
12. Zatanna (-) (DC)
33. Soldier (new) (DC)
51. Doppelganger (new) (M)
53. Thing (-2) (M)
54. Cyclops (+57) (M)
55. Beast (+55) (M)
56. Professor X (+5) (M)
65. She-Hulk (-13) (M)
66. Bullseye (-4) (M)
82. Hawkeye (-1) (M)
107. Beak (new) (M)
108. Fantomex (new) (M)
109. Emma Frost (new) (M)
111. Lionheart (new) (M)
112. Shriek (new) (M)
113. Ion (Kyle Rayner) (-10) (DC)
116. Iron Fist (+47) (M)
117. Jean Grey (-5) (M)
123. Xorn (new) (M)
190. Atomic Skull (new) (DC)
195. Toad (-14) (M)
196. Magneto (-10) (M)

The Hammer...
Traditionally the Quick Fix has contribued to the immediate results of the super stock, but in the interest of keeping 2007 all in one place, Moon Knight and Taskmaster are the first to be ranked for the year.

Completing the year seems like a coming of age for the blog, and hopefully through the new year your readership will continue to support the ticking over of that little hit counter at the bottom of the menu.
Certainly a big thank you has to go out to all who have been visiting the site, and even more thanks to those coming back, and/or linking to it.

The higher that hit counter goes, the longer my hair gets, and the longer my hair gets, the more powerful I become. Please, don't make me hunt you down like dogs, because without those hits I will be forced to seek out fresh souls for consumption.

I'd love to finish up by telling you what to expect in 2007, but honestly - I don't know! I wouldn't have caught up if I'd maintained some kind of structure, so I don't intend to change that anytime soon.
The guy I've been going to for fifteen years to get my comics has sold the store and will be moving out soon, so the very future of my comics reading has completely changed. I might actually have to start investigting this thing called "online purchase" and put my new PayPal account to good use.

In the mean time, I guess you'll just have to put up with my collection of 90s Marvel comics... Goooooooooo Morbius!

December Hit Count: 3380* (+603)

* Hit count was recorded January 1. Hits for December posts may be reflected in the January count.

BATMAN & SUPERMAN versus
ATOMIC SKULL
With a Vengeance! Chapter Two:
Mistaken Identity Crisis (DC comics)
Where: Superman/Batman #21 When: September 2005 Why: Jeph Loeb How: Ed McGuinness

The story so far...
Batman and Superman have unwittingly become pawns in a fatal game of death staged between two of their oldest foes, but they each have more immediate and bizarre concerns.

An organized break-in at Wayne Tech sees an amped up Atomic Skull stealing a very specific lead atache case which contains synthesized kryptonite.

Meanwhile lurking in the shadows, Batzarro, and another motely grouping of avenging warriors, but are these champions friend, or foe? Batzarro am knows!

Previous Form:
Batman (#1): Batman has victories over Amazo, Captain America and Superman.
Superman (#7): Superman has defeated the Hulk and Metallo.
Atomic Skull: Atomic Skull has not previously been featured.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Superman 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Superman 6 (Sound Speed)
Stamina: Superman 6 (Generator)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: Superman 5 (Lasers)

I'm going to admit straight up - I'm kinda ignorant to a lot of Atomic Skull's finer details. I'm going to assume this isn't a great issue to draw data from, either, seeing the character painted as little more than a Ghost Rider analogue in a key vaguely similar to Vengeance.

Statistically I think certainly as an individual Atomic Skull poses a potential threat to even Superman, but certainly he reads much more like your stock standard second/third tier opponent who is eventually disposed of after some minor trepidation.

In hand-to-hand combat, Batman might have a little bit of trouble with a guy like Atomic Skull. Of course, we've been doing this long enough to know Batman is smart enough to stay out of that kind of situation.
Even if Atomic Skull were somehow able to stage an ambush, gadgetry could probably slow things down enough for Bats to make a retreat, or retrieve the Batmobile ala the fight with Amazo. [Batman #637]

Then of course there's Superman, who can presumably take everything Atomic Skull can dish out, and as always come out on top.

Average: Batman & Superman 30 (+9)
Overall: Batman & Superman 60 (+39)
The Pick: Batman & Superman

What went down...
Alfred calls into the Batmobile to tip Batman off on the break-in, but Bats is already on the scene, and has Atomic Skull in visual atop an atomic themeed flaming motorcycle.

Skull hops his bike over the bonnet of the Batmobile, avoiding a direct collision.
Batman is able to use in-built grappling technology to snag the cycle as it drives, yanking it to a halt and sending Atomic Skull hurtling over the handle bars.

Batzarro watches on as the bike comes to an explosive halt, and is engulfed in the cycle's flames.

Batman goes into battle with the hopes of retrieving the case chained to Skull's wrist. Using his acrobatic skills he avoids an attempt at using the case as a weapon, and slings off a string of batarangs.

Atomic Skull's new armor proves to be much stronger than his previous, holding up to the attack. The chain, however, proves less robust, giving Batman a chance to retrieve the kryptonite housing case.

Atomic Skull continues the assault, using the broken chain like a whip, but Batman is able to use his superior speed to avoid any direct hit.
Batzarro's attempts to aid Batman prove more devestating than Skull's attack, blinding Batman with three flash cubes. Skull capitalizes, checking Batman across the face with the chain.

The villain looms in for a killing strike, but Superman arrives on the scene in the nick of time, arcing his arrival into a devestating torpedo attack!

Superman helps Batman to his feet, only to be crushed beneath the Batmobile by Atomic Skull. He follows it up, punching his way through the vehicle to get to the floored Superman.

The two mighty titans continued to come to blows when suddenly a teleportation boom tube explodes on the scene, and from within comes the battlecry, "MAXIMUMS MARCH!"

Batman, Superman and Atomic Skull each share a confused glance as Atomic Skull remarks, "They ain't with me."

Robot is able to collect spot intelligence from police radio broadcasts, and the team ascertains that Atomic Skull is a threat wanted by the law.
Using a bizarre weapon the Maximum's leader, Soldier, fires off a bullet that passes through Superman's hand with ease and penetrates the villain's skull.

The damage results in a massive firey explosion of energy, as Robot reveals to the team that this character is quite unlike their own "Skull Biker," whose powers are Satanic rather than nuclear, like Atomic Skull's.
Never the less, the deed is done.

The hammer...
Well, the best Batman and Superman can do is an assist, with Soldier striking the killing blow.

Readers familiar with this Superman/Batman storyarc will have immediately jumped to The Maximums as the feature of this particular issue, and in 2007 I'm sure we'll revisit it for the confrontation between the superteam and the starring protagonists.

For those who don't know, The Maximums are a fairly transparent analogue of the ever-popular Ultimates, from Marvel comics. The team that Jeph Loeb has actually taken over post-Millar as his first announced major task moving back to the House of Ideas (Marvel).

Superman/Batman was certainly a book that had it's fair share of detractors, but consistently I think it remained a misunderstood book. It's precipice was that of a traditionally fun superhero comic book, regularly willing to indulge in the classic, but with a contemporary twist. Something I have to say I've enjoyed during my dabbles in the title.

Ed McGuinness' art in particular is a treat, and inking/colouring combo of Dexter Vines and Lee Loughridge is superb. Loughridge's colours maintain a smooth palette, while Vines' inks are strong and certain of themselves.
These go together with McGuinness' bold cartoony lines to make an exciting and easy to read action-adventure story. On this book, I think McGuinness has perhaps never looked better.

It will be interesting to see how the pair handle The Ultimates proper.
Joe Madureira takes the art duties of the third 'season' of Ultimates, before McGuinness reteams with Loeb on the title in the fourth. I've fallen a little out of touch with the progress on the book, but an interesting note, and perhaps unfortuante weakness in McGuinness' approach is a change in designs.

Most notably Iron Man is taking on a graphic look far more like that of the traditional Iron Man, which is certainly striking to the eye, but highlights one of the follies of the development of the Ultimate brand as a whole.
Consistently it seems to be reducing it's relevence, and graphically I feel Iron Man's pull was as a fantastic reality that is largely absent from the streamlined designs of the traditional Iron Man.

Loeb has mentioned part of the evolution is explined by way of Stark's employment of developing technologies, but still, these familiar designs seem to detract from the clunky reality of Hitch's previous designs. Designs that went out of their way to show a utilitarian requirement over asthetic design.

That said, it's sure to be a great read, and certainly The Maximums were a fun preview of what's to come, and also a nice way to round out the year.
This issue was actually one I considered at length before launching the blog, so at the end of 2006 we come full circle, a full year later.

Thanks to all who've been patient with my lateness, and hopefully now that I'm only a few weeks late, we can look forward to a smooth running 2007!

Even if you don't have bulging muscles or special mutant powers, you still can be a hero in your community by getting your Online Social Work Degree.

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 5
Additional Stats: Though present, Batzarro receives no stat. His bungled attack for Batman is not worthy of an assist statistic.

NEXT: January 2007 kicks off with the first post of the year, and finally the top five superheroes of 2006 are announced, plus much more! Including an all new Quick Fix featuring Moon Knight!

DOPPELGANGER & SHRIEK versus SPIDER-MAN
Maximum Carnage: Carnage Rising (Marvel comics)
Where: Spider-man Unlimited #1 When: May 1993
Why: Tom DeFalco How: Ron Lim

The story so far...
Cletus Kasady was supposed to be locked away in Ravencroft maximum security prison where he couldn't harm anyone, but for a man like Carnage you can take the man out of the symbiote, but not the symbiote out of the man.

Slaughtering his way through security and psychiatric staff Carnage picks himself a dame up on the way, in the form of the equally homcidal and psychotic - Shriek.

Their swooping freedom in New York City sees them quickly running afoul a mindless wandering doppelganger of Spider-man, and after he puts up a brave fight against Carnage, Shriek convinces her murderous beau to adopt him.
Thus, the sicko Brady Bunch begin their reign of Maximum Carnage.

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#2): Spider-man has victories over team-ups including the Secret Avengers and Dr. Dorcas & Tigershark.
Shriek: Shriek has not yet been featured on the site.
Doppelganger: Doppelganger has not been featured, either.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Doppelganger 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Spider-man 4 (Trained Athlete)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Spider-man 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Shriek 5 (Arsenal)

In this opening chapter of the fourteen-part crossover, Spidey finds himself pretty lucky. Even though it's Carnage's first big night on the town, he only has to deal with Doppelganger and Shriek straight up. Sweet!

Okay, let's look at the facts; Doppelganger is exactly what he says he is. A sinister reflection of Spider-man, possessing all of his strength, speed and agility, as well as a few nasty added bonuses -- like razor sharp teeth; barbed razor webbing; six arms, each equipped with three taloned fingers; the ability to survive at least one or two deaths; PLUS he drools!

Sure, this guy sounds like a glorified Venom, but as a mystically touched drone from the Magus' Infinity War, he's one of the few evil reflections to stick around and do some damage.

One on one Spidey has trouble with Doppelganger -- add Shriek into the equation, and things start to get a little tricky for the web-slinger.
With powers that revolve around sound based energy attacks, Shriek has the long range attack to compliment Doppelganger's strong and agile frontal assault.

Though a tall order, Spidey's keys to victory are pretty simple.
Shriek's relative strength and fighting ability is quite low, which renders her fairly easily incapacitated given the opportunity.
The difficulty is in shaking Doppelganger off long enough to actually render such an attack, whilst also then having to fight him off as well.

Ultimately Spidey, as the hero, has a certain edge here, but as a pairing these two villains pack more punch than they may be griven credit for!

Average: Spider-man 28 (+7)
Overall: Shriek & Doppelganger 42 (+14)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Having heard about the Ravencroft massacre on the radio whilst picking up Chinese food, Spidey swings into action to set out to find the man he believes responsible - Carnage!

Whilst swinging through the city his spidey-sense go completely berserk, narrowly gifting him the advance warning to leap away from a sonic blast ripping through the sky.
On the rooftop below, Shriek stands waiting with Doppelganger wasting no time, jumping straight on the offensive with drool offending aplenty!

Doppelganger's simplistic aggression sees him landing face first, but he is quickly back up and on the offensive again, swinging wildly at the agile Spidey with two arms. His attack again backfires, as the demonic mirror image lunges straight into Spidey's fisting, suffering a jaw shattering uppercut.

Spidey follows it up with a flying face kick, but the Doppelganger recovers shockingly fast and uses the close quarters attack to launch his own offensive, connecting with two hard fists to the mid-section.

Struggling for air, Spidey goes for a desperation move by webbing the feet of the charging Doppelganger, buying him time as face again connects with ground.

Shriek comes to the aid of her new 'pet', firing off a blast at Spider-man, who narrowly avoids it with an acrobatic leap.

As Mary-Jane learns of Peter's fate via the television news, Spidey dodges another sonic blast, connecting with a swinging left across the gnashing chops of the Doppelganger.

Shriek adds a new threat to the mix, barking orders to the Doppelganger.
Spidey webs him up, but again the numbers game gets the better of him as he barely escapes a high power blast from the femme fatale.

Using his spider-like agility he leaps his way through a barrage of blasts, leaving a trail of destruction on the building wall behind him, before narrowing in for a knock-out strike. A simple extended finger is enough, at speed, to knock Shriek out cold.

Though one danger is pacified, Spider-man leaves himself completely open to attack from his diabolical dubplicate!
The blaring warning of his spider-senses matter not, as Doppelganger swoops in with full force booting Spidey in the mid-section, sending him toppling over the edge of the building!

Spidey hits a wall hard before crash-landing in the alley below.

With a childlike concern for Shriek, Doppelganger opts to take the onconscious villainess to safety. Though he would like to pursue, Spidey is in no shape to do so, falling to unconsciousness as he clutches badly damaged ribs.

The hammer...
The autonomous Doppelganger wins, with the assist going to Shriek! Which, for those playing along at home, means we can start to make certain assumptions about the top five characters for 2006.
Stay tuned for that in the January 2007 punch-up!

Meanwhile, am I the only person who finds it utterly bizarre when considering that this comic is fourteen years old? My mind boggles when considering Maximum Carnage happened before many enthusiasts even started reading.

Maximum Carnage of course is a storyline many fans new, old and indifferent are aware of. If not through the comics, certainly the popular side scrolling beat 'em up video game brought the storyline to fans, complete with some panel artwork from this very issue, along with several others. Ah, the age before FMVs!

Contrary to Acclaim's claims on the release of the Ultimate Spider-man video game, it was Maximum Carnage that first placed the role of Venom in the hands of the gamer. Even following it up with the symbiot-centric sequel, Seperation Anxiety. SHAME, Acclaim!

The saga itself reads very much like a videogame plot, featuring a range of unlikely characters over various encounters and locations. Gamers will probably be relatively well versed in the story, even if they didn't even touch an issue of Amazing.

Like the previously featured saga of '93, Fatal Attractions, this ranks as one of my fond memories of the nineties. Despite it's over stretched presentation and ridiculous cast of characters, Maximum Carnage has a free flowing fun factor that recent stories like House of M or Civil War have clearly lacked.
Let's be honest, who isn't a little aroused by the notion of Iron Fist, Morbius, Captain America and Deathlok all on the same team? That's completely ignoring the more central roles of Venom and Black Cat, too!

Certainly books like this had their negative points, and owe a great deal to encouraging even lesser counterparts through their popularity.
It's this unfortunate downward spiral that has largely tainted the nineties in the memory of the comic book reader, blurring the lines between the good [Maximum Carnage] and the bad [Maximum Clonage].

Only now are characters caught in this wave recovering, but I'm glad they are.
Deathlok had a significant return in Beyond!, Morbius popped up in Ultimate Spider-man, albeit in a paper wasting pathetic two-parter, and even the massively whored Venom and Ghost Rider, characters who shared status with Spider-man and Wolverine, are returning to prominence.

Comics seem to be cyclical and certainly we've returned to a mixed bag of good and bad crossover activity, largely perpetuated I believe by DC's tremendous efforts on Infinite Crisis and it's related initiatives. Structure that has not only facilitated fairly expansive crossover activity, but more importantly weaved a cohesive and well thought-out net over the entire universe.

But to the credit of all sides, at least briefly forgotten or discarded characters are recovering, and getting dues they haven't seen in decades.
As should be the motto of this blog -- continuity isn't the problem. Your face is.

And yes. I changed my point several times throughout the course of this post.
Now... Let me tell you about my Namor pitch...

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 6.5

SHE-HULK versus THE AVENGERS
"Chaos" Part Two of Four (Marvel comics)
Where: Avengers #501 When: October 2004
Why: Brian Michael Bendis How: David Finch

The story so far...
The Avengers have faced many opponents, but after decades it may be one of their own who proves to be their ultimate undoing.

One bad day takes a new meaning as the team becomes the unwitting outlet of the out of control hex powers of a resentful and slightly crazed Scarlet Witch.

Killer robots, alien invaders, personality shifts, and now an uncharacteristcally rampaging She-Hulk. Chaos continues, and only a small handful of Avengers are even able to stand to protect their friend from herself.

Previous Form:
She-Hulk (#52): She-Hulk had a win and a loss against Champion of the Universe.
Captain America (#8): Has led victories against Wolverine and AIM.
Iron Man (#4): Has victories over Captain America and The Hulk.
Lionheart: The most recent Captain Britain has not been previously featured.
The Avengers: Have been featured mostly in-fighting via Civil War.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Iron Man 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Iron Man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Captain America 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Iron Man 6 (Generator)
Agility: Captain America 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Captain America 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Iron Man 5 (Arsenal)

I had a discussion recently about She-Hulk, and it dawned on me that newer readers would be somewhat in the dark about She-Hulk's nature as a character.
Of course, traditionally her strength has been consistently around a 5 or a 6 by our statistics, depending very little on her temprement or emotions, unlike her cousin.

In the last couple of years anxiety and a particular type of radiation has been seen to provoke Hulk style mindless rampages in Jennifer Walters, and during this Scarlet Witch prompted scenario of chaos, that's again what we're dealing with.

Hawkeye and Captain America certainly have only a measurable degree of effectiveness in this situation. Despite their prowess with arms and as tactical fighters, against the brute strength of She-Hulk they are rendered relatively ineffective.

Captain Britain represents a more likely physical opponent, but even she hovers somewhere at the lower cusp of a 5 strength.
Of course, that becomes much less an issue when you add the Iron Man armor into the equation. Stark has previously been seen handling the Hulk [Iron Man #2] in the red and gold, and with the added support of Cap Britain, coupled with the maneuverability of tactical distractions like Hawkeye and Captain America, victory is in hand.

Certainly She-Hulk is a formidable foe at the best of times, and with the team already decimated there's an added advantage, but overall I would certainly lean toward Iron Man and the other Avengers.

Average: The Avengers 25 (+2)
Overall: The Avengers 100 (+77)
The Pick: The Avengers

What went down...
Iron Man has to deal with the repercussions of his initial arc in this story, racially motivated attacks on foreign countries as American secretary of defense. Talking about flattening countries with bombs before turning them into amusement parks is generally considered something of a faux pas, even if it is Latveria.

Meanwhile, Captain Britain is doing her best to hack the waist with her sword as She-Hulk menaces her American counterpart with a jeep.

Cap whips his shield defensively over his body as She-Hulk dumps the jump straight on top of him.
Super Soldier serum or not, that's going to leave a pretty serious mark, no matter how close to the human peak you are.

Meanwhile Captain Britain gets flung across the battle field, She-Hulk palming her skull before whipping her like a ragdoll.

As the rampage continues in the streets surrounding Avengers Mansion, Hawkeye does his best to make an emotional plee to the woman inside the beast, but it has little effect.

Iron Man arrives on the scene as more automobiles feel the crushing blow of a truly savage She-Hulk.
He swoops in quickly delivering a knock-out punch around the chops of the hulked-out She-Hulk.

IM remarks, "Well, I took no pride in that...", landing meters away from the broken body of another teammate felled earlier in the day -- Vision.

Tony joins Hawkeye in lifting the jeep, to reveal a bruised and battered Captain America, but a still living legend, none the less.

The hammer...
Well, a relatively simple victory, but Iron Man effective in the end against She-Hulk. The assist no doubt coming from the other Avengers present. Even Cap, who essentially spent the entire issue on his back beneath a jeep.

Cap's back up and ready to fight after that. Hard to tell whether or not this is an over estimation of his strength, or just a poorly communicated set of circumstances involving the shield and rubble below.

There's some sort of irony when I say I wasn't generally as venomous about the Disassembled crossover as much other fans. Ironic because, while I didn't bitterly disagree with the story, I do regard it as the definite turning point in Brian Bendis' career.

Disassembled begins the path that eventually unfolds to New Avengers, which is a book still struggling to warm up. Granted, Civil War has provided an editorial break at a premature period, but certainly twelve issues of New Avengers were not well used, with a lot of time spent dwelling on character minutia perfect for Daredevil, but cumbersome in a team book.

The next step in the process of Bendis spreading his fingers was the more literal crossover saga as we know, House of M, which saw ideals of Age of Apocalypse and Heroes Reborn coming together in a fairly uninspired storyline that fascilitated various company movements. One of those being the further dismissal of Morrison's X-implementations, which was the broadening acceptance and existance of mutants. House of M ending on the infamous, "No More Mutants" phrase, which led into the underwhelming 198 and subsequently connected X-events.

Unfortunately even as the New Avengers book appears to steer itself toward Bendis' strengths, it remains inherently disappointing as an Avengers book.
That is not to measure it by the standards of characters or even characteristics, but merely as a book that should ideally feature a team dynamic.

Whether or not the upcoming and more traditional Mighty Avengers will provide Brian Michael with the presumed opportinuty for redemption is uncertain.
Typically it seems Bendis is far better utilized in his own corner, dealing chiefly with his own history and events. Even a very positive turn on Ultimate X-Men further typified his confidence with smaller scope, using Daredevil, Spider-man and Wolverine incredibly well, but obtusely in a team book.

Finch remains what he is in Chaos, and if you like that sort of thing, you're probably quite impressed by the pages in Avengers. As dynamic and emphatic as they are, Finch's grasp on human faces remains ever bothersome. Particularly so in a book that features the talking heads that have made Bendis so well known.

Finch's interpretation of the script also has to be questioned.
His translation came under polite fire even from the writer himself, when defending the absurd scene in a later issue that depicts Hawkeye sacrificing his life, rather than removing his arrow holster.
Hawkeye gets a raw deal even in #501, pictured drawing an arrow to fire, but never seen shooting it. Which is a little silly. Even an arrow hitting Shulkie's back from off panel would've done.

Also disappointing is the colour palette, which does effectively convey the grim disaster area and tone, but obscures the time of day and the characters a little bit too much. I'm never a fan of these draining dark colour palettes, particularly when they have very dry highlights.

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 4.5

THE X-MEN versus XORN
Planet X: Conclusion (Marvel comics)
Where: New X-Men #150 When: February 2004
Why: Grant Morrison How: Phil Jimenez

The story so far...
As a safe haven for gifted youngsters and adults alike, the X-Men welcome those in need with open arms, but sometimes this generosity comes with hazardous risk.

Having infiltrated the X-Men under the assumed identity of Xorn, Magneto reveals himself not as a beloved teacher, but rather as a drug-addicted man desperate to make his nightmarish vision a reality.

Under the influence of the power enhancing drug Kick, Magneto takes his old friend Charles Xavier prisoner along with several other misguided young X-Students, and proceeds to tear New York City asunder.
Has drug abuse pushed Magneto over the edge, or does the helmet that birthed his deception hide more secrets regarding the true identity of "Xorn"?

Previous Form:
Wolverine (#4): Wolverine joined the X-Men in the defeats of Nimrod and Magneto.
Professor X (#61): Professor X was instrumental in the defeat of Magneto.
Cyclops (#112): As team leader suffered defeat to Namor.
The X-Men: As a team the X-Men defeated a Hydra controlled Wolverine, Nimrod and Magneto.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Beast 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Beast 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Wolverine 6 (Generator)
Agility: Toad 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Xorn 7 (Solar Power)

A fairly interesting crew of X-Men here, and an ill-defined threat in the form of Xorn. More on the controversy of the Xorn character in The Hammer section of the article, so for the time being, bare with the analysis as it is described here.

Xorn certainly possesses abilities here comparable of Magneto's own, which places him in a noteworthy class as a threat to the X-Men.
Playing the role of passificist, assessing the destructive or offensive capabilities of Xorn would be difficult prior to this occasion. For the most part his powers were used to manipulate characters in subversive ways, even using nanosentinel technology already in the X-Men's bloodstream to cast the illusion of healing on Charles Xavier's spine.

The necessity of the Kick drug and the characterization seen as Magneto suggest Xorn is perhaps not as limitless in his energy as the true Magneto has been seen to be. Other contemporary appearances, such as X-Men #25, have highlighted Magneto's abilities to draw upon the magnetic forces of the planet, possessing a rich well of mutant power.

Against forces like Professor X, Cyclops, Wolverine, Emma Frost, Phoenix and Fantomex, even Magneto has to stand up and notice.
With Xorn showing an unhinged personality, he starts to look like a bit of a chump. Particularly when considering this is Jean Grey heading straight back to cosmic town with the Phoenix force flowing through her veins.

There's certainly debate for this one to go several ways, and with the Kick drug allowing Xorn monumental capabilities (such as twisting bridges), the right shot could be the difference. That said, the level headed forces of the X-Men seem far too strong for such a renegade presence.

Unfortunatley Toad is not an equaliser.

Average: The X-Men 22 (+3)
Overall: The X-Men 176 (+119)
The Pick: The X-Men

What went down...
So, MagnaXorn is in his evil skyscraper lair in New York, which he has renamed New Genosha because he's a little bit crazy on drugs.
Humanity is not without hope, however, as a long X-Man has arrived. An animalistic X-Man. An X-Man of keen instinct. Sometimes described as a loner.
An X-Man named... Beak.

Wielding a metal bat... Not a great idea.
Much like Wolverine's metallic claw attack, the metal baseball bat is quickly turned to MagnaXorn's advantage as he tears it from Beak's dweeby little talon-claws.

Looming at the window, however, is salvation.
Atop the hovering EVA, Fantomex prepares to spring into action, breaking through the skyscraping icey glass of MagnaXorn's sinister tower -- and fires off round sof bullets that may or may not have some sort of obscure properties to them, allowing them to hit the target. Being shot at upsets him, and he demands Fantomex be destroyed. [Looking at you, Sean McKeever... Shyeah... - Mistaken Mike]

Esme, otherwise aiding MagnaXorn, objects to the prospect of being shot, so it's up to Toad to leap into the fray and put himself on the line. Which isn't such a good idea, because Fantomex makes no bones about shooting his knees off...

Of course, like all good things, Fantomex' rampage comes to an end.
MagnaXorn deflects his bullets, and wraps Weapon Thirteen up in bits of metal and trimmings from around his highrise citadellium. What he doesn't notice is that Fantomex' bullets pierce the glass tube that contains the helpless and tubed-up Professor X, beginning the draining of the freak brain neutralizing fluids inside.

While Fantomex gets wrapped up like a douche, another roamer in the night is picked out by Esme just before he uses his mega optic blast to explode through the floor. MagnaXorn is flung into the air by the crimson might of Cyclops.

Xorn falls back to Earth and Cyclops gives him a bitch slapping with all manner of emotionally charged punches.

Then, as if an ass whooping at the fists of Cyclops isn't bad enough, he decides to just pour optic salt into the wound by firing off a round at point blank range -- straight into the face of MagnaXorn!

The Magneto helmet is shattered, and Xorn is left a smoldering, burnt-up, facially disfigured and partially bald mess.

Furious and only briefly blinded, he uses the Xorn helmet as an unseen weapon, bringing it up behind Cyclops before driving it into the back of his skull, thus knocking the X-Men team leader out cold.

Becoming more and more unhinged, and dribbling confused ramblings that actually lend credence to the eventual decision that this was merely an impostor Magneto, MagnaXorn unleashes desperation.
As Esme threatens to psychically attack his exposed brains with "Alzheimer's in fast forward", MagnaXorn lashes out, ripping the earrings from the young girl's ears. Mangled and disfigured ears -- the kinda pain that renders a teenage girl unconscious.

Xorn again dons the... Xorn helmet... protecting himself once more from psychic attack, just as Emma Frost appears on the scene in diamond form.
She consoles Esme [as she dies], and reunites with the distant Cyclops who is preparing to begin a romance with her.

Using his amped up Kick powers, MagnaXorn begins seriously messing with time and space and gravity, which seriously messes with the enjoyment of humanity in the world. Thus, the X-Men run stalling maneuvers to give time for Phoenix to take care of business.

Then Beast comes flying out of nowhere, and generally starts punking the crap out of Magneto. He pounds down on him, delivering an neutralizing solution for the Kick, whilst expressing his disappointment, "I can't believe you'd do this, Xorn! You of all people, Xorn!"

Xorn whips the needles out and stabs Beast with them, which gives him an opportunity to call Wolverine into the fight.
Wolvie brandishes his claws all up in Xorn's grill, but that matters for naught as a Phoenixified Jean Grey enters the battle proper as more than a transport vehicle for people who've been lost at sea, or thrown into the sun.

Taunting manages to get the unhinged false-Magneto to remove his helmet in an attempt to prove his identity as the master of magnetisim, but this exposes him to mental attack from the recovered Professor Xavier.

Phoenix lingers over Magneto's seizing body, and he reaches a frail and weak hand to hers, and something happens to make Jean scream.
Having broken the concentration of his attackers, MagnaXorn reveals his treachery.

MagnaXorn dons his helmet once more... Only to be decapitated.

Xorn dies, Jean dies.
They'll both be back.

The hammer...
As you may have noticed, the winner of this match with the assist from various X-Men - Wolverine. Which almost made up for having his adamantium stripped in a previous entry.

I say almost, because as was mentioned in the Tape, we have a bit of a situation concerning the identity of Xorn. Most comic fans from the last couple of years will be well in-the-know, but for those who came in late, it lays out pretty simply like this:

Magneto gets killed in Genosha for the umpteenth time when Sentinels flatten the place. In Grant Morrison's New X-Men Magneto becomes firmly established as a Che Guevera style t-shirt icon, and an inspiration to disillusioned semi-retarded teen mutants worldwide.

In an incredible twist of fate the new mutant named Xorn turns out to be an elaborate ruse by Magneto to infiltrate Xavier's school, and generally cause problems and lead children astray whilst taking drugs.

The drgs increase his powers and we arrive at the issue reviewed here, where Wolverine unceremoniously cuts his freaking head off. Four more issues to go and then Morrison leaves the book, and returns to DC where he has clearly been better nurtured and embraced by his own standards.

Marvel clearly had some issues with Morrison's ground breaking X-Men, which reinvigorated the franchise. Obviously as a franchise, the viability of killing off Magneto seemed unlikely, and likewise they enjoyed Xorn as a character... So the solution was to immediatel reorder the house of X by revealing Magneto was actualy hiding out on Genosha recovering (a redeemable Holocaust survivor once more) -- and drugged up, headless Magneto was an impostor.

I'm going to come clean, there were some serious lapses of concentration here, and that's largely due to the fact that what started out like a good idea for an entry, kinda drove me a little batty.

It gets messy beyond this issue, and after some vague attempts from Chris Claremont and Chuck Austen, and some unfortunately vivid delivery from Brian "I should stick to street solo characters" Bendis -- Xorn becomes his own character.
Well, his own character and a brother...

Beyond the farce and well on the safe side of a paying job, Morrison has said his intentions were for the character were exactly what he delivered: Magneto's last hurrah, fucking up New York City.
But we here at Secret Earths are bound by canon as tightly as possible.
So as cathartic as it may have been, sorry Wolvie. Wrong head.

A lot of people seem to talk about their 'period away from comics,' and usually it comes across as super-poseable bullshit, and an excuse to talk about how Blankets or something else flavoursome 'brought you back to comics.'

I'm not going to say I ever left comics. I've read them my entire life, but for a while there I wasn't buying much more than Mutant X... So while I was never gone to be brought back, New X-Men certainly renewed my interest in the X-franchise en masse, and was the gateway into which I began making much larger and expansive purchases.

Purchases like the graphic novels Blankets and Maus... [Kidding!]

New X-Men was a hot ticket item and tough to get from the comic store rack, but the issues I do have were a real delight. I can honestly say it's the first time X-Men has ever been a regular priority.

I've been wanting to feature an issue somewhere along here, but the curious thing is that as much action and violence as there was, there really weren't a lot of simple, break it down fights. I went with this one, and I stand by my choice, but the true brilliance to this run was the overall presentation.
Even the leather jacket uniforms, which were a happy compromise between the filmick black leather, and the classic primary yellow, were a brilliant step forward for the X-team.

Despite a distinct Marvel bias over the past few months, I've actually been sitting on the DC side of the fence for the last few years. Having grown up a Marvel youngster, I really feel post-Jemas the company went though a period of very disappointing creative direction.
While I feel they are now recovering, there's still a ways to go before I can ever expect to read and X-Men comic with the same vim as New X-Men.

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 5.5
Additional Stats: Victory also to Beast and Cyclops, with assists to the rest of the team.
Xorn fatal injury inflicted on Esme.