COSMIC POWERS versus TYRANT

Long Live Tyrant! (Marvel)
Where: Silver Surfer #82 When: July 1993
Why: Ron Marz How: Ron Lim & Tom Christopher

The Story So Far...
Eons ago a biomechanical entity known as Tyrant was created to serve Galactus, Devourer of Worlds. When Tyrant developed an independent taste for interplanetary conquests -- Galactus was compelled to intervene in the name of maintaining balance in the universe.

So powerful was Tyrant that the ensuing battle did untold cosmic damage! The conflict was only ended when Galactus stripped his servant of much of his cosmic energy, banishing him to the darkest corners of existence, where he was expected to remain.

Not unlike his master, Tyrant learned to sustain himself by siphoning cosmic energies. After eons of restoring his lost power, Tyrant returns to a path of conquest, now commanding an awesome army of robot soldiers! Even the greatest cosmic heroes fall before him, becoming new sources of power, but the self-sacrifice of a captured Jack of Hearts releases the cosmic assembly from captivity. Now they unite their powers to fight together against Tyrant!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Tyrant 7 (Omnipotent)
Intelligence: Tyrant 6 (Genius)
Speed: Silver Surfer 7 (Light Speed)
Stamina: Tyrant 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Ganymede 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting: Morg 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Tyrant 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Tyrant 38 (Cosmic)

The cosmic powered team-up includes: Silver Surfer, Ganymede, Beta Ray Bill, Gladiator, Terrax, and Morg.

It's tough to imagine any force standing up to such an awesome assembly of cosmic powers -- but that's exactly the scale of threat posed by Tyrant!

He's an immortal, nigh invulnerable biomechanical menace, capable of going ten rounds with Galactus and living to tell the tale! Silver Surfer has turned against their former master many times in the past, but could only dream of such success, surviving with his powers only by the good grace of Galactus!

Terrax and Morg are more recent heralds of Galactus, boasting phenomenal strength and durability. This is our first entry for Morg, but we've seen Terrax give DC's Green Lantern serious trouble in the Green Lantern/Silver Surfer crossover! Unfortunately, Terrax and Morg are also highly combustible mortal enemies -- just as likely to kill each other as they are a mutual enemy!

Acts of valor define Beta Ray Bill, whose noble spirit defeated Thor, and proved worthy of lifting his enchanted hammer in Thor #337! These days he has his own mighty mystic hammer called Stormbreaker. He used it to come to blows with Silver Surfer some years later, in Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #2, but can always be counted upon to fight the good fight!

Gladiator's loyalties lie primarily with the Shi'ar Imperial Guard, but as long as Empress Lilandra rules, that usually means preserving the greater intergalactic good! We've seen his impossible strength dominate the Fantastic Four [Fantastic Four #249] and X-Men [New X-Men #124]. He should be a powerful ally!

The X-factor is Ganymede, who represents one of the last vestige of an ancient order known as The Spinsterhood. These powerful female warriors were sworn to battle Tyrant, and claimed responsibility for his early defeat.

In the prior issue, Ganymede mistook Silver Surfer for one of Tyrant's minions, but with mistaken identities out of the way, she could be the fighter to guide this awesome assembly to victory!

Silver Surfer alone has beaten cosmic opponents like Ronan the Accuser [Silver Surfer #13], Nebula [Secret Defenders #10], Super-Skrull [Fantastic Four #6], and Green Lantern [Marvel versus DC #3]. The group fell as individuals, but fighting together should neutralize Tyrant's robot army and challenge the conqueror himself! Let's see if they managed it!

The Tape: Cosmic Team-Up Ranking: Silver Surfer (#35)

What Went Down...
With a violent act of defiance - Jack of Hearts sacrifices his energies in a single devastating explosion! As the smoke clears, a collective of the most awesome cosmic powers stands assembled - freed from the shackles of Tyrant's matrix!

Silver Surfer leads the charge, vowing to honor Jack's sacrifice and end Tyrant's march of conquest. The techno-villain welcomes their assault -- unflinching as the Surfer's cosmic power blasts at his face! Tyrant has the confidence of an army of robotic soldiers flooding into the chamber.

The robots seize the Silver Surfer on Tyrant's behalf and drag him into the battlefield with the other cosmic powers. Regrouping, Surfer seeks attendance for the depleted Jack of Hearts, but nearest Terrax refuses to risk himself for another. Ganymede volunteers, slipping away to find Jack of Hearts in tact, but suffering grievous injuries. She's soon kicked aside by an attacking soldier!

Silver Surfer continues his obsessive rant against Tyrant. He blasts a path to the villain and attacks with a charging overhanded punch to the face! Tyrant mocks his boast to be the last man standing and unleashes his chilling power!

As Surfer is blown clear, Beta Ray Bill steps up to turn mystic Asgardian Uru against the mechanoid menace. He hurls his hammer Stormbreaker for a direct hit against Tyrant's chest -- but it doesn't even move him!

Gladiator stands with Bill as he receives his returning hammer in utter disbelief. The Praetor of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard has seen many impressive battles and continues undeterred as he turns his unbridled power against Tyrant!

Across the battlefield: Ganymede demonstrates the unique preparation of her Sisterhood. In a whirlwind of speed and agility she cuts robotic soldiers down with her gleaming staff! It seems victory will give her time to tend to Jack of Hearts, but yet more troopers are already descending upon her!

The Silver Surfer flies in to attack the reinforcements with his power cosmic, urging Ganymede to get Jack to safety. She agrees, but solemnly vows to return to the battle she was born to fight. Not all who are present share her dedication!

Brute strength has allowed Terrax to rip and smash through the robotic hordes with relative ease -- until Morg launches a sneak attack from behind! The tackle sends the two Heralds to Galactus bouncing into a grudge match all their own!

As Stormbreaker pierces through a line of soldiers, Beta Ray Bill notes the tide of battle is taking them further from their objective. Gladiator and Silver Surfer agree, recognizing it's up to the three of them to mount an attack on Tyrant!

The villain welcomes the charge led by Silver Surfer's power cosmic. He invites the inevitable end of their deaths: first claiming Beta Ray Bill with an overhand strike that smashes him face-first into the ground.

The concussive impact turns Bill into a projectile - hurled directly at Gladiator!

Tyrant presses his attack against Gladiator, blasting the Shi'ar Guardsman in the face with high-powered eye beams. He recoils, but defiantly refuses to fall!

Clutching his face, staggered, Gladiator is totally unaware Tyrant is looming over him. With a wild swing of his left fist - the conqueror finishes his opponent with an all mighty kayo! As he does -- Silver Surfer blasts him again!

Again the Surfer boldly proclaims his necessary victory, but Tyrant swings his fist backward -- swatting his forearm into the Surfer's flight path! The blow knocks the cosmic rider to the ground, but he does not yield - with good reason!

Ganymede returns to the battle without warning - gaining the element of surprise as she strikes with her spinster's staff! The special weapon bathes Tyrant's skull in raw energy that elicits a shout of pain and shock!

Alas, the upper-hand is short-lived! Tyrant immediately knocks her out with an eyebeam blast. The better to savour the demise of the last of the Sisterhood.

Though unsuccessful; Ganymede's attack gave Silver Surfer the time he needed to recover. He stands, fists pulsing with the power cosmic as he readies his attack. Tyrant smolders with his own energies as Silver Surfer bathes him in raw cosmic power! The unfathomable projection would surely decimate any ordinary being -- but Tyrant is unscathed as he returns fire with precision accuracy!

The deadly beam knocks Silver Surfer from his feet, tossing his chromed body to the surrounding wreckage. The most powerful challenger at last joins his fallen comrades, speckled with smoke and dirt. Tyrant is unchallenged!

The Hammer...
It feels like it's going to be a pretty cosmic year - so I figured we'd kick things off with an epic cosmic battle! The all-star line-up of cosmic powers doesn't get much bigger than this -- which says a lot about the threat level of Tyrant!

Introduced an issue prior, in Silver Surfer #81: Tyrant feels roughly created as the next in a succession of major cosmic threats of the early nineties. This was two years after Thanos dominated all existence in The Infinity Gauntlet, a year after The Magus unleashed evil doppelgangers in Infinity War, and concurrent with the beginning of The Goddess' superhero holy war in Infinity Crusade.

It's always a tough ask to suddenly come up with a convincing new threat of even greater danger. I think Ron Marz and co do a pretty good job of pulling it off. It was risky to sew Tyrant's backstory into ancient, untold corners of the universe, but it's worth it for the return of Galactus right after Tyrant wins!

His impending arrival is gradually teased over the course of the super-sized issue. Readers had seen Galactus face renegade former heralds before, but that wouldn't necessarily know what was coming, or that Tyrant has the distinction of facing his former master as an equal. Their battle is ultimately waged in words: a tense negotiation designed to avoid the catastrophic cosmic destruction their powers have unleashed once before.

Neither is willing to concede defeat, but it also simply doesn't benefit them to emerge into a broken universe. I really enjoy the concept of a villain who knows and respects his opponent enough to choose not to fight. They've effectively played the battle out in their mind and no the consequence. Neither is willing to concede defeat, but it simply doesn't benefit them to emerge into a broken universe. It's almost a sci-fi twist on evenly matched masters of martial arts.

Actually, coming back to the issue today, the shifting allegiances and tangled histories reminded me a little of Dragon Ball. The brutality of Jack of Hearts and his self-sacrifice reminded me of similar scenes. The way each hero falls away slowly and rallies, only to fail, feels familiar to DBZ. There's even something vaguely Frieza about the way Tyrant's power is presented. Just a little bit.

I wouldn't call Tyrant a villain for the ages, but I like the way he takes from the existing Galactus, but also gives to another new creation. Ganymede had an issue head-start, and builds the myth of Tyrant, while also existing because of it. Her design is pretty damn early nineties, but I kinda dig it. She's got a cool, new age witch meets gymnast thing going on. In this setting, it stands out.

Today's battle is also the Secret Wars on Infinite Earths debut for Morg: the then-current Herald of Galactus who Tyrant requests to retain as a power source in his negotiation with The Devourer. Galactus refuses at first, but it's a chance Tyrant doesn't miss to stick it to his old boss (and creator).

The side battle between Morg and Terrax follows up on hostilities between those two Heralds, and is hopefully something we'll get a chance to look at in more detail in a future battle. For now, it's time to update the Fight Club rankings for the first time this year!

Such a shame to start with a big drop for a couple of our cosmic all-stars, but hopefully Beta Ray Bill and Gladiator will bounce back! Both were teased for this month's all-new relaunch of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and I'm hoping they'll be in there with the Silver Surfer and some other top characters.

If you want to explore more from these characters and the Marvel Universe, be sure to explore links throughout this post, or dive in to the Secret Archive of featured fights! You can also discover more by following on Twitter and Facebook. Be sure to throw in a like or share! Happy new year!

Winner: Tyrant
#317 (new) Tyrant
#35 (--) Silver Surfer
#321 (-181) Beta Ray Bill
#329 (-159) Gladiator
#868 (new) Ganymede
#869 (new) Morg
#883 (-186) Terrax

FANTASTIC FOUR versus GLADIATOR

Man and Super-Man! (Marvel)
Where: Fantastic Four #249 When: December 1982
Why: John Byrne How: John Byrne

The Story So Far...
On the outskirts of the Milky Way galaxy, a rickety Skrull space ship desperately flees a furious foe! The Gladiator navigates the cold of deep space on a mission to bring them to justice on the Shi'ar Empire's behalf!

In their desperation to escape, the Skrulls activate an explosive weapon that blows Gladiator across the solar system! His trajectory is monitored on Earth by the brilliant Reed Richards, concerned the celestial projectile is a piece of space debris hurtling towards the city!

Richards sounds the alarm, signaling to Thing and Human Torch to return to the Baxter Building to brace for emergency! Little does he realise, the debris is an unbeatable super-man who is about to encounter Thing on his way home!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Gladiator 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Gladiator 5 (Super-Human)
Stamina: Gladiator 6 (Generator)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting: Gladiator 4 (Gymnast)
Energy: Human Torch 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Gladiator 33 (Super)

The Fantastic Four are: Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and The Thing.

Marvel's first family are cosmic adventurers facing the deadliest perils from deep space and beyond our spectrum of reality! Together, or as individuals, we've witnessed their battles with the likes of: Ego The Living Planet [Fantastic Four #235], Paibok & The Skrull Empire [Fantastic Four #358], Iconoclast [Fantastic Four #2], Super-Skrull [Fantastic Four #6], Annihilus & Defile [Fantastic Four #13], Ahab [X-Men Annual #14], and more!

With every impossible challenge, the FF achieved the fantastic, but today they face an opponent whose phenomenal strength is unlike any they've encountered before! He is both unstoppable force and immovable object, with an unwavering confidence and determination to complete his objective!

Gladiator is Kallark of the planet Strontia. His earliest history is shrouded in mystery, but it's known he earned the title of Gladiator in a contest with nine others. In doing so, he became Praetor of the Imperial Guard to the Shi'ar Empire - sworn to serve whomever reigns as Emperor or Empress.

It was in this capacity he came to Earth in New X-Men #124, battling the X-Men amid the misdirection cast by insidious Cassandra Nova. During the struggle he effortlessly dealt with Beast and Wolverine. His march against the X-Men was only stopped by evidence of Nova's deception.

Gladiator's loyalty to the Shi'ar Empire is matched only by his impossible strength, stamina, speed, endurance, and unique powers. He can project laser-like heat rays from his eyes, blow gusts of air, resist psionic assault, survive the vacuum of space, and endure the most hostile of elemental onslaughts!

If these powers sound familiar, it's because Gladiator is very much analogous to DC Comics' Superman! He's even susceptible to a rare wavelength of radiation, but his powers can also be undermined if his confidence wavers. Rare is it that Kallark doubts himself, but if he does, his powers may begin to wane drastically!

Thing's boxed everyone from Doctor Doom [Fantastic Four #350], Captain Marvel [Captain Marvel #26], Ego [Fantastic Four #235], The Sentry [Mighty Avengers #10], The Adaptoid [Fantastic Four: Unplugged #1], and an Agamotto powered Luke Cage [New Avengers #2] -- but Gladiator is in a class of his own!

Mister Fantastic and Invisible Woman could probably conspired to convince Gladiator his powers are waning, but they'd need to be aware of the benefits of such a tactic to actually pursue it. Which spells trouble for the FF! Let's go!

The Tape: Fantastic Four Ranking: Mister Fantastic (#9)

What Went Down...
Touching down in Manhattan gridlock, the being known as Gladiator lets cry a frustrated roar! His Skrull target is lost, but the emergence of The Thing from a nearby New York cab inspires a classic case of mistaken identity!

Focused solely on his objective, Gladiator hoists a couple's car out of traffic and tosses it at Thing! It's all that he can do to catch the vehicle and return them to safety. A temporary condition as long as Gladiator believes Thing an opponent!

Thing readies for the Shi'ar Imperial Guardsman's next attack, but nothing could've prepared him for the unnatural strength of the spaceman's punch!

The force of the incredible blow sends Thing hurtling through seven cars before he comes to a crashing stop in the eighth! Both the nature of the impact, and the shock of his foe's power, leave him stunned and groggy!

Not yet satisfied; Gladiator snatches the rocky hero by the tatters of his clothes and surveys the surrounding cityscape. His penetrative x-ray gaze soon finds the Fantastic Four huddled in the Baxter Building. With a mighty toss -- he reunites Thing with the rest of his team!

The FF scramble as Thing makes an unannounced crash landing into Mister Fantastic's celestial scanning lab! He does his best to return to his feet, but falls dramatically face down! Invisible Woman barely has time to process the shocking sight before the entire team is shaken from their bearings!

Invisible Woman fills the impact hole with a force-field as the Baxter Building begins to tip. Even the brilliant Reed Richards cannot conceive of the tower being lifted from its foundation, but gazing to the street below - he believes!

The Human Torch springs into action - leaping into the void with a cry of "Flame On!" He sends spears of fire to surround Gladiator, creating a cage of fire as he reaches the street. Gladiator is not amused.

The alien powerhouse joins The Torch in the air -- colliding with him at super-human speed! The impact rocks Johnny Storm's body and launches it high above the New York City skyline! Somehow, he escapes injury!

Determined to test the limits of his foe's resilience, he turns up the heat and launches a nova-blast! It surrounds Gladiator in blistering fire, but he remains totally unfazed! He laughs and then expels the air from his alien lungs with the force of a hurricane! The gale snuffs out The Torch's flame! He plummets!

Fortunately, Mister Fantastic arrives just in time to catch his falling teammate!

With a universal translator gizmo in hand, Reed Richards attempts to understand and reason with Gladiator. For a moment, the Fantastic Four's shared grievances with the Skrulls tempt calm - but Gladiator is unconvinced!

Believing the Fantastic Four to merely be contrivances of the shape-shifting Skrulls -- he grabs the stretchy mid-section of Mister Fantastic and starts pulling! Unfortunately, the same tactics intended to expose a contorting Skrull are just as deadly to the cosmically empowered body of Reed Richards!

Desperate to save her husband before he's stretched beyond his limit - Sue Storm springs to action! She encases Gladiator in an invisible force-field bubble, but immediately feels the pressure of his phenomenal strength!

Every kick and punch strains the Invisible Woman with psychic feedback! The Gladiator senses her plight and presses his advantage! The pummeling of his impossible power finally overcomes her. She relents - falling to the ground!

The innocent eyes of young Franklin Richards witness his mother's plight. Naïve, yet not so long ago possessing powers to reshape his reality - he strikes at the alien's calf! Gladiator swats the small child aside with the back of his hand!

Still groggy, but regaining consciousness - Thing sees his nephew in danger. Now his protection instincts kick-in. He defies all expectation, rising to his feet to charge at the unsuspecting Gladiator! He tackles him out of the building!

Sadly, the battlecry of "it's clobberin' time" is just bravado. Gladiator takes control of their fall with the power of flight - and sends Thing on an accelerated plunge to the streets below!

In an instant - Gladiator joins Thing on the street. A passing bus provides the finishing weapon! Gladiator effortlessly lifts it into the air - only to bring it crashing down atop the already battered Thing!

The Hammer...
It's another combat classic from the Secret Wars on Infinite Earths as Gladiator delivers an alarmingly decisive defeat to the Fantastic Four!

Not even the indomitable Thing could defend against the sudden impact of Kallark's impossible strength! That's a particularly big deal when you consider 1982 was also the year he stood toe-to-toe with Champion of the Universe, in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7!

The battle of Fantastic Four #249 has been a popular request for The Comic Book Fight Club in years gone by. Even my good old pal Pedro Cruz suggested I take a look at the titanic tussle, many moons ago!

With the recent announcement that Fantastic Four is finally coming back to the Marvel Comics publishing schedule; I figured it was the perfect time to dig through the back issues to take in a famous fight with a cosmic connection!

It seems like the superhero space-ways are becoming the next big frontier sweeping through pop culture. Thanos takes the big screen next month in Avengers: Infinity War, with Gladiator now re-scheduled to arrive in FOX's X-Men: Dark Phoenix some time in the first-half of 2019.

I've been a Fantastic Four fan for about as long as I can remember, but I wasn't always so hip to the X-Men. The odd issue, like Uncanny X-Men #143, made an impression, but I wasn't consistently invested until the 1990s. By then, their earthbound adventures battling Magneto, Apocalypse, Ahab and bigots made a great deal more sense than seemingly ill-fitted travels into space.

Jean Grey's turn as The Phoenix had an obvious appeal, and the Dark Phoenix saga's terrestrial moments are legendary, but alien characters like Gladiator and the Shi'ar Imperial Guard were a tougher sell away from the FF's space origins.

The Mohawk, color palette, and generic triangle symbol made Gladiator feel less Star Trek meets Marvel, more 'indistinct dollar store knock-off'.

On the surface, his beat-anyone super-strength only feeds into the impression he's a less legitimate Marvel character than, say, Silver Surfer or Annihilus. He sure looks like something a kid would scrawl with a box of crayons, and a little too much sugar. The portmanteau of "Kal" and "Clark" for Kallark (from Superman's Kal-El and Clark Kent) doesn't help, either. Yet, there was one undeniable thing the character had going for him: genuine mystique!

Much like Juggernaut; there was a consistent indulgence in Gladiator's strength and character that built a more substantial whole than the sum of parts. Issues like FF #249 made the unbeatable Gladiator a school yard legend. He became a character worth paying attention to -- especially when he showed up in unexpected places!

The addition of a confidence-based weakness was a novel way of layering a so-called Marvel weakness into the character. Heroes with problems, has always been the theory of Marvel. Psychological flaws a favourite when transposing the archetype of Superman to the House of Ideas [see also; The Sentry].

We'll inevitably find our way to the Dark Phoenix Saga sometime in the future, but there's a short story by Len Kaminski and Don Heck I hope to get the chance to share in the future. It's a forgotten curio from 1990, but it just had a certain something that added to that sense of mystique, as a younger reader.

As for the work of John Byrne? We just looked at Action Comics #586 last week, where he was having the chance to redefine the real Superman for a modern, post-Crisis audience. Both issues are a little wordy, and a tad inconsistent with their layouts. There's no denying the man knows how to draw a fight scene! He can sure deliver the definitive rendering of a superhero, too!

In FF #249, I was particularly taken with Byrne's Thing. [All right, all right. Stop giggling!]. Pencillers approach the character different ways, and some of these Byrne panels really look right. The size of plates and depth of crevices looks real good in some of these panels.

I'll bet it was inspiration for Mark Bagley's flashback scenes in Mighty Avengers #10. More good Thing, with a few swings and blows that recall the fight with Gladiator. I suspect that's also Byrne's influence on Bendis being referenced.

If you want to see more of this issue and fight for yourself, I recommend you check it out via collected edition! Shopping via Amazon links provided [right] will not only get you a solid deal -- but helps support the site at no cost!

Want to find more famous fights like this one? Journey into mystery by following the various links found throughout this post, or in the labels below. Or dive straight into the Secret Archive to find past battles indexed via publisher, series, and issue number!

You can also follow and subscribe on Twitter and Facebook for daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day! A like, retweet, or share is another fantastic way to show your support so the wars remain infinite!

Winner: Gladiator
#162 (+281) Gladiator (Kallark)
#9 (--) Mister Fantastic
#10 (--) Thing
#11 (--) Invisible Woman
#13 (--) Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
#325 (-111) Franklin Richards

SHI'AR IMPERIAL GUARD versus
THE X-MEN
Superdestroyer (Marvel comics)
Where: New X-Men #124 When: May 2002
Why: Grant Morrison How: Igor Kordey

The story so far...
Cassandra Nova, a malicious Shi'ar mummudrai, had her first encounter when drawn to arch-nemesis Charles Xavier in the woom. There, Nova duplicated Xavier's DNA to sustain a physical form, but with his mutant fetal brain developing in fantastic ways, Xavier became aware of the creature's viciousness and attacked, resulting in the Xavier twin being stillborn.

Decades later Nova would set into motion plans to annihilate all that her "twin" held dear. It would be Nova that would set off events that decimated the mutant nation of Genosha, before facing Xavier and his X-Men herself, taking possession of her nemesis' body before her own was crippled, thus leaving Xavier in the incapacitated body.

Under the guise of Xavier, Nova continued her scheme to destroy Xavier, linking up with Lilandra of the Shi'ar to convince her the mutants had become infected and would need to be destroyed for the good of the universe. Thus, Lilandra reluctantly sends her army to Earth, where they descend upon the X-Mansion.

Previous Form:
Wolverine (#4): Victories over the Invaders, Silver Samurai and others.
Beast (#17): Aided in defeats over the Lizard and Xorn.
Phoenix (#97): Was crucial in the detaining victory over Executioner.
X-Men [#1]: Defeated only once, by the rampage of a disapproving Sub-Mariner.
Shi'ar Imperial Guard: None of the Imperial Guard have been featured previously.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Gladiator 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Gladiator 5 (Super Speed)
Stamina: Gladiator 6 (Generator)
Agility: Beast 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Gladiator 5 (Lasers)


Having just spent the time to identify each and every relevant member of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard, I'm not particularly inclined to break this fight down on a person-by-person basis. Honestly, given the numbers involved here, it's probably safe to say the math favours the Shi'ar. Gladiator alone is arguably a match for the small clan of X-Men defending the mansion at this particular interval, so he can represent the Shi'ar in the tape, alone.

With most of the X-Men already captured or galavanting in other disjointed X-titles, we're left with a conveniently small bunch of X-Men to look at, in no particular order: Wolverine, the Stepford Cuckoos, Emma Frost, Angel, Jean Grey and Beast. And since Emma Frost spends the entirety of this issue with a golden bucket over her head, she's cut from the team.

So, what chance does a split team of those particular X-Men have of overcoming the might of the Shi'ar super Imerial Guard?

The tape paints a pretty grim picture for the X-Men, but there are a few factors yet to be considered. Telepaths still remain grossly underrated by the tape's factors, so while Jean Grey is rated on par in the energy projection stakes, her mental capabilities make her a much more versatile and interesting opponent than is otherwise expressed.

Likewise, the true measure of Beast and Wolverine's potentials are perhaps slightly under estimated by the tape. On their home turf, Wolverine's stealth and tracking abilities could give him a strong advantage in picking off their opponents, while the brilliant Beast could man the technological defense systems built into the mansion grounds, while also providing a worthy last line of defense should it come to hand-to-hand combat.

Jean Grey, particularly in Phoenix mode, also represents a cosmic force of nature, the likes of which has been halted by the Shi'ar before, but not without considerable cost. Grey potentially represents a force even more encompassing than Gladiator, who stands as the invincible totem of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard.

The Math: Shi'ar Imperial Guard (Total)
The Pick: The X-Men

What went down...
A team of Guardsmen sweep the Mansion from above, ascertaining the presence of powers and peoples. The injection team engages in small talk, before falling victim to the unseen Wolverine who leaps at Neosaurus and slices his brilliant brain from one of his many bodies.

Gladiator descends in the company of Schism and Blimp, joining his team as a sicking howl echoes across the grounds. An already detained Emma Frost reveals, from within a helmet of psychic shielding, that they're hearing "the noise Wolverine makes when he's chopping people like you into quivering lumps."

Also detained in the yard are junior X-students, Angel Salvadore and the Stepford Cuckoos. Reunited after one of their number had fallen for the disguised Stuff, the Cuckoos set about taking advantage of the Guard's poor estimation of their infant telepathic abilities. Together, the five-as-one overpower the telepathic watch of Oracle, and defeat her swiftly.

Angel lashes out at Stuff, also charged with guarding the students, before the Cuckoos exact their revenge, making of him a "perfect boyfriend", while they manipulate the metamorphic creature's "pathetically simple" mind.

Inside the mansion, Beast and Jean Grey are forced to take matters into their own hands, aware of the incursion outside. With human-mutant relations at a delicate crossroads, rather than risk the lives of the large group touring the school; Jean Grey violates her code of ethics to mentally persuade them all to herd into the lower vaults where they will be safer.

Ailed by the sub-molecular threat of nano sentinels swimming in his blood stream, Beast remains a potent force to be reckoned with. With the visitors safely contained, Beast enters willingly into the field, charging violently at the first of the Shi'ar intruders, Monstra.

He quickly overpowers the four-armed lady-beast, slashing with his bestial claws at goggles, leaving the alien blinded. Beast's agility provides the necessary mobility to avoid a laser beam, fired by a foe unseen. Fader, the Guardsman hiding within the frequency of ultraviolet light, quickly learns that Beast's resemblance to an animal extends further than his good looks.

Using his heightened senses, Beast smells and hears his way to Fader, knocking him out with a nearby statue of the thinker.

Manta swoops in next, narrowly avoiding Beast's wild slashing as he lets out a Wolverine-esque gutteral growl, and heads for Phoenix. Immune to mental attack, Manta assumes Jean Grey vulnerable, but quickly learns Jean Grey has developed more than her mind during her years as an X-Man.

Grey follows her kick with a jagged elbow and palm striking combo, putting the alien Manta down hard to the shock of student on-lookers.

While Beast does battle with the suited gestalt entity, Squorm, he compels Jean Grey to seal the inner vault doors. Reluctantly, Grey does so, while Beast suffers the electric charge of Arc, who mocks the mutant's sense of bravado.

At that moment Wolverine smashes his way through a window, slashing Blimp and Schism on entry by way of a stolen imperial flight patch.

Blimp begins to vent the bio-helium that makes up his internal functionality, leaving him to swirl around the room like a deflating balloon.

Wolverine encourages Beast to resume the fight, while throwing down with the black and white diverged halves of Schism.

Arc contacts Gladiator, before being dragged into the smackdown. While Wolverine deals with Monstra, Beast uses Blimp's limp body as insulation to wrap the electric Arc up, and smack him with a healthy dose of super strength.

To Beast's dismay, the wall begins to melt away, signifying the heat-vision led entrance of Gladiator; zealous praetor of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard.

Wolverine does his best to emplore the better sense of the Shi'ar's greatest soldier, but the desperate and lethal retaliation of the X-mutants registers as proof to the Gladiator, that these are not Charles Xavier's mutants.

Acting under order based upon Cassandra Nova's lies, Gladiator stands confident in his charge to exterminate the infected mutants, all of whom have nano-sentinels undermining their defense.

Though Beast and Wolverine retaliate, the incredible alien strength of Gladiator quickly overwhelms them.

Cosmo and Gladiator effortlessly bypass the high-tech security of the lower depths of the X-Mansion, pulling apart the metal blastdoors as though they were breaking bread.

Inside, Jean Grey makes an appeal of her own to Gladiator, but her inclination to test Gladiator's mind-shielding only serves to further provoke his suspicions.
Ready to exterminate the mutant threat, Gladiator is halted only by the intervention of one of his own. Plutonia enters, carrying in her arms the broken body of Smasher, one of the elite who had stood against Cassandra Nova's lies, and suffered for it.

Having crash landed on Earth, Smasher brings word of the truth to his superior, his dying wish that the Imperial Guard remain pure. Recognising the toxic influence of Cassandra Nova, Gladiator stays his hand, only to see the X-Men suffer the effects of the nano-sentinels infecting their bodies.

The hammer...
I was all ready to declare this with certainty, but I think it's safe to say that as much as Gladiator turned the tables in the final hour, the X-Men controlled much of the battle. Thus, I declare this result on the basis of scoring and conclusion, a draw!

Now remains the task of inputting the results for every damned member of the Shi'ar. For reasons of streamlining, the battle in space between a captive Cyclops and Xorn was not included in this encompassing look at the Shi'ar's assault on X-Men mansion.

This entry, of course, was part of the on-going Marvel: Ultimate Alliance Mondays initiative. The chances of this having been an entry otherwise, are fairly slim.
I generally prefer my X-Men, if anything, to be dealing with Earthbound matters, and struggles more specific to human/mutant concerns. That said, this was actually a surprisingly easy issue to get excited about reviewing.

Maybe it's some of the spacey fun that's cropped up in conjunction with the Annihilation series [Nova #2], or maybe it's Grant Morrison's unique handling of the X-Men that made me a regular X-reader for the first time in my comics reading history.

For all the press about Morrison's pseudo-intellectual-rockstar-man-witch pretentions, there's a delicious indulgence in his approach to books like X-Men. Morrison seemingly succeeds where a Warren Ellis might falter, willfully enjoying himself as he writes unashamed four-colour fanboy moments, like Wolverine's explosive flight-patch entrance to the mansion, or Jean Grey's stiff-kick.

It's the marriage of fun moments like these, and a progressive story that made Morrison's run on the series one of the most memorable. In fact, it's perhaps not since Claremont that a writer has had a run so significant that wasn't cringe-worthy, as so much of the X-lore tends to be.

In many ways I think it's the logic of Morrison's work that makes it so strong. Four decades later, you'd like to think humanity might have gotten a bit beyond the fear and loathing, and what we see here is the forward development of social and racial change serving as a backdrop to sci-fi heavy superhero action. All this, balanced with the familiar soap opera of Marvel comics, makes New X-Men scientifically difficult to debate.

By extension the apparent editorial shift toward undoing much of the good done in these pages, is scientifically stupid. In fact, if you look up stupid in a dictionary, you'll likely find a toothy characature of Joe Quesada playing guitar in front of a burning wedding dress. See the crowd for sub-sections on Bendis, Austen, and even Claremont, the kings horses and kings men who succeeded in not only undoing some of the best X-Men work of the past twenty years, but also making it a regrettable affair. [See; New X-Men #150, for more on Xorn.]

It's amusing to note this issue [#124] features the return of the letters page, complete with a lengthy love note from Bruce Timm who largely laments on similar points already discussed here. The only glaring divergence of opinions between monsieur Timm and myself is the opinion on Igor Kordey's work, which I personally rate particularly low, with characters often appearing hideously disfigured, or attrociously under defined.

I'd pass the blame to the inker, who slathers the pencils with distgustingly ill defined blocks of black, and completely under does some lines, but it would appear these unflattering inks were done by Kordey himself, so... Ouch!

We've had three years of X-Men since the end of this run.
Right now Ed Brubaker is putting his stamp on the Uncanny team, while also revisiting the Shi'ar for the first time since this story, I believe. I'd love to have something nice to say, but I don't.

The best the X-Men have had to offer has been Joss Whedon's work on Astonishing X-Men, which has avoided a return to the boggy, garbled self-referencial stylings, opting instead for the thoroughly expendable and derivative.

The Fight: 6 The Issue: 6
[The best X-Men you'll see in a long time! Smart, slick and fun, let down only by sloppy artwork. A thoroughly enjoyable romp, featuring a to-the-point invasion, that makes even the uncomfortable Shi'ar sci-fi, fun!]

NEXT WEEK: Spotlight on the Shi'ar Praetor, Gladiator!