X-MEN versus THE EXECUTIONER
For Better and For Worse! (Marvel comics)
Where: Marvel: Heroes & Legends #1 When: October 1996
Why: Stan Lee & Fabian Nicieza How: Marie Severin

The story so far...
Reed Richards and Susan Storm have finally decided to tie the knot, but damned if the dreaded Dr. Doom will allow a peaceful day for the wedding of his mortal nemesis!

Better known to the world as Mr. Fanatstic and Invisible Woman, they find themselves beseiged by the greatest villains of their past on what should have been the happiest day of their lives!

Lucky for them, friends of both bride and groom are there to help protect the innocent from the menace of Dr. Doom's orchestrated mass attacks!
One such force providing aid is the magnificent mutants of Professor Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters! Good thing too, because the citizens of Manhattan need their help!

Previous Form:
Beast (#31): Crucial in X-Men victories over Xorn and Lizard.
Cyclops (#87): Mixed results as team leader of the X-Men.
Angel (#88): Helped talk Ghost Rider down, after getting badly defeated.
The X-Men [#1]: Victories over Wolverine, Nimrod, Magneto, Xorn & The Lizard.
The Executioner: Skurge has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Executioner 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Beast 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Executioner 6 (Generator)
Agility: Iceman 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting Ability: Executioner 7 (Born Fighter)
Energy Powers: Cyclops 5 (Lasers)


It wasn't long ago that we established the standard for these wacky inter-character match-ups with the X-Men fighting the Lizard [X-Men: First Class #2]. I think it's safe to say this entire book resets that standard, and here's a great example of a villain and heroes you never expected to see together!

Actually, the X-Men aren't complete strangers to Asgard, but we'll at least assume at this point in their careers, (the story being set in the sixties), they haven't had a great deal of experience with much of anything.

As far as big bads go, Skurge; aka The Executioner, isn't someone you want to bump into in a poorly lit alley! Asgard is well known for it's warrior bruisers, but Executioner has always been just a little stronger, and a bit more durable than your average Asgardian. Not to mention how he puts that brawn to use, possessing a powerful axe with various unique abilities, including projecting fire and ice!

Ice? Well, the X-Men's Iceman can handle that, no problem.
The rest? Well, even with a big brain like Beast or a steady leader like Cyclops, that's a tall order! Sure, Sentinels pack a punch, but they aren't gods!

Like so many brain-V-brawn battles we've seen before, this one will probably come down to smarts. The X-Men need to maneuver themselves into finding some way of incapacitating Executioner, and for my money you'd have to be consider some sort of multi-pronged physical assault, that would provide sufficient diversion for the ol' telepathic attack.

Executioner hasn't come this far to go down like a punk, though.
There's every chance he's going to be able to resist the plucking of mental chords by Marvel Girl, Jean Grey, but next to all the other options...? Go with it!

The Math: X-Men (Total) The Executioner (Average)
The Pick: The Executioner

What went down...
Already on the streets tending to the overflow of villainy, the X-Men are in prime position when The Executioner shows up on the scene!

Apparently well versed in human-mutant relations, the Executioner is well aware that victory could very well provide the guise of a hero, being that mutants are so feared and despised!

The Beast, doing the most to engage the menace, narrowly avoids a swipe from the double-edged battleaxe, and a timely wall of ice provided by Iceman stems further assault from the Asgardian goliath.

While the Executioner extracts his powerful axe from the ice, the Angel swings around in the sky to make himself useful (for a change)!

The surprise of the lift knocks Skurge's helmet from his head, and leaves his axe lodged in the street below, having dropped it as his arms were hoisted from underneath him.

Airborne, the Executioner struggles with his fate, while the Angel playfully mocks him.

Continuing to struggle against the far weaker Angel, Executioner's requests for an early release become all too feasible.

With a cunning smile Warren Worthington III lets loose his grip, and leaves the Executioner to plummet several stories Earthward.

Though the Asgardian rightly touts his ability to survive such a fall with ease, he doesn't anticipate the sure teamwork behind the X-Men's maneuvers.

Executioner's landing atop a parked car reduces it to scrap metal, making it the perfect fodder for Marvel Girl! Using her powerful telekinesis, she contorts a lamp post around the car, wrapping Executioner up like a gift for super-authorities.

Celebrations are short-lived as another looming threat interrupts the glow of victory. Though few are there to witness their deeds, one boy walks away a convert -- X-Men fan forevermore! Yeah, go team!

The hammer...
Despite the overwhelming odds (and potential short term nature of their job), the X-Men emerge victorious! Full stats to the whole team, even though Cyclops appears completely uninvolved!

The ranking stats are one of the fun little features of this particularly website, but it strikes me that as much as we talk about the dominance of Spider-man and Batman, the team stats get completely overlooked! If I wasn't thinking about it now, I'm not sure I ever would've imagined the X-Men were such an indomitable force. Which is silly, when I realy think about it... Huh, wacky!

So, with the relaxed schedule for July, I'm now one update away from being officially caught up on updates! Yay! If you missed the lo down in the Punch-Up, you won't know that I could potentially still fall behind as I continue the constant of Ultimate Alliance Mondays, but for the most part, it should be smooth sailing for a little while!

So, I'm generally not a big fan of revised versions of stories, or even reprints on the whole. I'm by no means an obsessive collector, but I just struggle to appreciate things that aren't in their original form. Still, with a site like this, you start to look at the material more than the nature of the beast.

This is the second time we've reviewed this issue, the first being the Grey Gargoyle entry for MUA Mondays. It's a comic positively made for this site, featuring villains from Batroc the Leaper, down to the Unicorn. It really is a smorgasboard of mini-fights, all leading up to one big mega-splash page.

I don't know about this month, but at some stage I'd like to sit down and do a DC vs Marvel style recap for the rest of the action. It just seems wrong not to appreciate things like the Batroc/Cyclops result just prior to the battle featured here, along with all the other fixes of varying lengths.

In the nearest future, I'm simmering gently with a range of prospects for July entries. I couldn't narrow it down, but I'd like to bring it back to some solid one-on-one fights. I really couldn't say, but it'll be fun finding out. Stay tuned!

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 6
NEXT WEEK: Who can put a stop to the menace of Ultron?!

SPIDER-MAN versus GREY GARGOYLE
For Better and For Worse! (Marvel comics)
Where: Marvel: Heroes & Legends #1 When: October 1996
Why: Stan Lee & Fabian Nicieza How: John Romita Sr.

The story so far...
Reed Richards and Susan Storm, known to the world as Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Girl of the super hero sensation the Fantastic Four are finally getting married. It should be the happiest day of their lives, but we all know better!

With the city gathered for the event, it doesnt take long for chaos to grip the city as the collective efforts of some of the most notorious super villains set their plans into motion, all at the manipulation of the jealous Dr. Doom!

The Avengers, X-Men, Spider-man, Daredevil and others pitch in their efforts to contain the threat, but not even the blushing bride can avoid being dragged into the epic battle! Can good triumph over evil on this most audacious of occasions, or will this bad omen prove to be the end of the wedding, and all else?!

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#1): Victories against the Tri-Sentinel, Blacklash, Man-Ape, Tigershark, The Trapster, The Wingless Wizard, Elektra and the Hand, and many others.
Grey Gargoyle: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Grey Gargoyle 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Grey Gargoyle 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Spider-man 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Spider-man 2 (Projectiles)


Hawkeye is actually in the vicinity when this one kicks off, but fortunately for us his involvement is entirely incidental, leaving us to concentrate on a good old fashioned one-on-one situation.

Ol' Grey Gargy is actually harassing the small child that provides the through line of the story, but the boy never actually does much to engage him in combat, so I'm going to ask for a concession there.

The Grey Gargoyle manages to get around the place pretty good for a hulking man made of stone, so I'm sure he and Spidey have had reason to cross paths since this encounter, but it still makes for an interesting, less than common encounter. Just the kind of thing we could use, if you ask me.

Spidey's a tough customer, but when it comes to strength, Grey Gargoyle's sitting on the highest end of a five. The Gargoyle made his name fighting grudge matches against the Hulk and Thor, which is the merit badge of all the coolest heavy hitters in the Marvel universe!

If Spidey went to blows I'm sure Grey Gargoyle's going to feel it, but a guy doesn't really tend to crack a sweat when he's got stone for skin. Which is why Spider-man's greatest strategy is going to be to utilize his superior speed and agility to run rings around the bulky, cumbersome Grey Gargoyle.

That's going to come in double-handy for avoiding contact with the Grey Gargoyle, who involuntarily turns anything he comes into contact with to stone.
Of course, that's where the Gargoyle's strategum lies. Survive the ranged attack long enough to make contact, and either squash or petrify the bug. Though, given Spidey's abilities, that seems less than likely...

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Having taken a spill at the hands of Thor earlier, the Grey Gargoyle reemerges in a capacity of general menace to any citizens that may be unfortunate enough to come across his path. In this case, little Avengers admirer Mark is the unlucky one. [It's not the first time a child has been endangered by Avengers worship. Lest we forget the watertower scaling Thor imitator of Avengers #214. - Muckracking Mike]

He makes a run for it, heading for a nearby fire escape, knowing full well that the Grey Gargoyle can't follow through on his stoney threats if he can't touch him.
The Grey Gargoyle proves too heavy to follow up the iron steps, but it matters naught, as the monstrous Frenchman simply tears the escape from the buildingside!

Mark manages to reach the an open window in time, but the integrity of the building wall is compromised, sending a safe plummetting street-bound -- directly on top of the arrow slinging hero, Hawkeye!
Before he can be crushed, super durable webs snare the weight in mid-air, leaving it dangling safely [for at least an hour] above.

Spidey swings into action, heading through a broken window to follow the thundering footsteps of the Grey Gargoyle! The villainous Frenchman is right on Mark's tail, seeking to use him as a hostage to escape the clutches of the heroes, but it's too late for that!

Looming over the whimpering little boy, a crimson light casts the Gargoyle's shadow against the wall, signalling the entrance of the spectacular Spider-man!

Spidey connects with a stiff swinging kick that sends the Gargoyle's massive weight hurtling backward! He fires back the same criticisms the villain had spewed at the innocent child he was stalking, "Stop whimpering, Gargy!"

Spidey instructs the boy to make an escape, while he sticks around to make sure the Gargoyle troubles no other small children, or babies that may or may not be carrying candy.

The wall-crawler wraps the fallen Gargoyle up in webbing, which has an added bonus when it comes into contact with the Gargoyle's skin: It turns to stone!
"I just had an amusing thought, Gargy! Mind if I share it with you? If everything you touch turns to stone -- then my webbing'll make a nice stone prison for you!"

The hammer...
... And the moral of the story is, be cautious on Manhattan streets, because you never know when a crazy, evil Frenchman will try to turn you to stone! Fortunately for young Mark, Spider-man was on the scene to save the day! If only Canada had been so lucky, eh? Eh?

So, we can notch ourselves up another new inclusion in the ranks of the C-grade villains. We've inadvertently been spending a lot of time lately [Beyond! #3] talking about the forgotten heroes and villains that really made the previous two decades so memorable. I found myself in a message board discussion recently that arose the opportunity to really look at this in a more specific light, and consider it as one of the catalysts for the struggle of certain comics to maintain their appeal.

The example in this case was Spider-man, whose villains have ironically been the focus of this month's Wednesdays. What I felt worth voicing was the strength of the Spider-villain cast of characters, which have essentially faded into relative obscurity during the two thousands.
Certainly efforts are being made by the likes of Robert Kirkman and Matt Fraction to change that, but essentially it's still highly unlikely to pick up one of the monthly Spider-titles and enjoy an appearance clocked by a rotating villain of the week.

Part of this talks to contemporary sensabilities, which demand a greater attention to pseudo-reality, and the unacceptable nature of a villain who is free to escape and return as he pleases without any evolving motivation. Because the medium has found itself so unwilling to continue moving forward (as Spider-man did for his first few decades), we've bogged ourselves down in minutia storytelling that focuses on the dance between a very small group of on-going villains and a hero: thus, the modern storyarc.

It brings us back to a place all too familiar to Secret Earths readers, and that's the infamous run on Batman by Judd Winick. A context closer to home would be the sagas of the eighties and nineties highlighted in the likes of Gerry Conway's work on Spectacular Spider-man. An on-site example is the resolution issue to the on-going sub-plot revolving around Robbie Robertson and his relationship with the villain Tombstone [Spectacular Spider-man #142], where Tombstone was introduced in full force as part of an on-going story, whilst still moving around other events like the release of Peter Parker's Webs coffee table book, and various other duels with villainy.

While these stories managed to tell intelligent and cohesive on-going storylines, they managed to also facilitate the rotation of recognisable villains who were able to exist in and out of stories through defeats on various levels. It was a time that still relied heavily on conventions like the A/B/C stories, using the system to graduate villains from B & C into the A plot [like Tombstone], but they were pretty good with it.

Winick's work on Batman represents a cartoon sketch of the evolution of that. A theory of a working world in which the heroes operate, much to the description of what we're told about them, but without the conceit of forcing regular plight on the characters. Instead, a more organic layout is introduced to facilitate the shifting of existing elements, and occasional introduction of new attractions.

It was this fluid story telling that allowed characters like Black Mask, Red Hood, Mr. Freeze, The Penguin, Scarecrow, Deathstroke and a plethora of others to make motivated appearances, without being restricted to moving within their storyarcs. It was free-flow hyper-realism, or as I always like to call it, the chessboard continuity.

Granted, Winick didn't do it exactly the way I would. I made special note to refer to his approach as a cartoon sketch, because it's a simple version of what could potentially be a map of excellence, the likes of which has never been seen. A strategy that, with incredible support of company and editorial alike, could see characters like Spider-man returning to undisputed prominence, along with various other characters considered forgotten.

How does a Grey Gargoyle fit into a picture like this?
The easy answer for villains who have become unmotivated, particularly with this kind of street value, is to turn them to muscle for hire work, which is something many villains are said to do, even though we never seem to see them doing it. Which is the heart of the theory of the chessboard continuity. Let's get these guys maintaining a regular agenda, even if it means stripping them back to some degree.

I can fully empathise with an industry that doesn't want to do random punch-ups every week, and honestly, I'd much rather see characters making a regular living and approaching their grudges in a structured manner, than showing up periodically without any strong motivation or reasoning.

Outside of springing characters early from jail it sounds like a system that would be difficult to sustain, but really, there are enough of these guys to go around to avoid pulling a Brubaker. Not that writing an accurate American criminal justice system wouldn't involve a lot of early releases for murderers and career criminals. Jail's for the unregistered heroes, and jay-walkers, dontcha know?

You'll be seeing more from this issue in the future, so we'll talk more about this unique event next time. In the mean time, stay tuned for more overdue updates, and drop a comment or something! Geez!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 6