DR. DOOM versus SILVER SURFER
Weapon 'S' (Marvel comics)
Where: Silver Surfer #107 When: August 1995
Why: Mike Lackey How: Tom Grindberg

The story so far...
In his search for power, Dr. Doom has found many different avenues to achieve new levels of superiority. Through the sciences and magics, he has made himself one of the most impressive rulers on the planet, but a cosmic prize has eluded him over the years.

The Silver Surfer's power cosmic, bestowed upon him by the planet devouring entity called Galactus, has made him known throughout the cosmos for reasons good and bad.

As a power source, Dr. Doom has many times sought him out to steal or liberate him of his power. This is just such an occassion, where, for reasons of his own, the Silver Surfer seeks release from his condition. A wish he may come to regret.

Previous Form:
Silver Surfer (#31): Victories over Green Lantern and Ronan the Accuser.
Dr. Doom: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Silver Surfer 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Dr. Doom 6 (Genius)
Speed: Silver Surfer 7 (Lightspeed)
Stamina: Silver Surfer 6 (Generator)
Agility: Silver Surfer 3 (Athlete)
Fighting Ability: Silver Surfer 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Silver Surfer 7 (Solar Power)


A hush fell over the crowd as it dawned on them!
After a year and a half - was it criminal negligance or masterful hype? Regardless of which, Dr. Doom has finally come to Secret Wars on Infinite Earths!

Well, actually, that's not entirely true... This story is about a doombot.
A doombot is a robotic facsimile of the real thing, often programmed to act and assume it is the one true Dr. Doom. The programming is so thorough that these robots have even been known to turn against their own master!

We've never had to call upon it, but from the earliest days of our Infinite Wars there has been an unwritten law in place. A law designed to be called upon twenty months after the site's birth: The Doombot Denouement Decree.

This is a special rule designed to account for the fact that often by a story's conclusion, it's impossible to say for certain whether the character described was in fact the true Doom, or merely a robotic pawn or imitator. Thus, by supposing that Doombots represent crucial tools in Doom's arsenal, they represent him in the rankings, absorbing and supplying his wins and losses accordingly.

In this particular instance we know from the beginning that this is a Doombot. The story revolves around a Doombot that has found a new sense of consciousness and is, by extension of thought on it's programming, preparing to wage ware on all things living. It intends to do this with the power cosmic, but that's beside the point, for now...

The Silver Surfer with powers in tact, could probably handle a Doombot pretty safely. Though stories sometimes depict him as a little bit dumber or weaker than he actually is, he could probably handle the real Dr. Doom easily too. Although, by implication, more often than not a Doombot would be no easier than the real Dr. Doom, anyway...

... My point is, that under normal circumstances Silver Surfer has it in the bag, or at least some sort of conclusion that alludes to his success. An inconclusive result might actually be the more likely, but the tape generally isn't about calling a draw.

Dr. Doom's tools for victory are evasion, mysticism and/or technology, particularly applied to strip Silver Surfer of his powers, and add them to his own. In a scenario where this has already been achieved, Silver Surfer stands little to no chance alone, and given that this is the situation, well... It's not looking good.

To keep the ape pure, we'll assume this is a peak Silver Surfer, but... Well, consider that a little bit of a spoiler...

The Math: Silver Surfer (Cosmic Class)
The Pick: Silver Surfer

What went down...
Having successfully stripped the Silver Surfer of his powers, the Doombot goes about destroying a planet, liberating it of it's dweller's perceived suffering.

The Doombot recalls events from Fantastic Four #56-#60, the original story of Dr. Doom's first attempt to take possession of the power cosmic. The Doombot reveals that it was Doom's human frailties that made the task impossible, and reveals himself to be a specially comissioned Doombot designed to seek-out the Surfer and contain his power within a robotic cell.

Intent on fulfillin his programmed destiny, the Doombot seems unstoppable, but even so, Norrin Radd - the Silver Surfer - faces him with courage and conviction.
He leaps at Doom, but suffers the powerful blast of Dr. Doom's gauntlet, lacking the cosmic power to withstand and defend against it.

Imprisoned on Doom's ship, the powerless Silver Surfer attempts to use the last of his energies to psychically tap the shoulder of Legacy, the inheritor of Captain Mar-Vell's power. Hoping he too would possess a cosmic awareness, the Surfer calls out through the void left by his power.
Though Legacy hears, he has problems of his own, leaving the Surfer, as far as he knows, alone in the depths of space.

Eager to take possession of the Surfer's space faring silver board, the Doombot furiously storms the Surfer's chamber, discontent with his inability to control it. As an automaton, the robot lacks the life to control the board, and the Surfer promises that even without his power, he will take control of the board again.

The Surfer lashes out furiously with a fist that cracks the metallic shell of Dr. Doom's puppet. Without the power cosmic, he proves to be of little physical challenge, even with the machine's inability to truly master the power.

The Doombot swats Radd swiftly into submission, striking his powerless body with an unforgiving gauntlet. The Doombot delivers his own decree of robotic philosophy, looking down on organic lifeform's concepts of vanity and life and love, while burying his fist into the Surfer's frail stomach.

He speaks of a much larger picture, while striking the Surfer again and again, unrelenting!

With the Surfer helplessly lying on the cold metallic floor of the spaceship, the Doombot begins a new chapter in his own sense of awareness.

The Surfer tries to tell the machine that divinity must be earned, but having pleaded for the removal of his powers, his cause is harmed in the calculating eyes of the Doombot.

Reevaluating, the Doombot declares war not only on the Fantastic Four and the enemies of his template, but on life, imperfection, and Victor Von Doom himself! With the power cosmic the Doombot intends to destroy all things imperfect, and therefore all things living.

In a burst of energy, the first to die are his crewmates as he destroys the spaceship from the inside-out, no longer requiring of a vessel to travel.
Though the Surfer's chrome covered body survives the cosmic explosion, he drifts helplessly in space, with the question looming -- how long can he survive?!

And with that, the Doombot floats patiently awaiting the result, victorious.

The hammer...
So, with the exception described in the tape, let us declare Dr. Doom the winner, despite this Doombot's overwhelming personality and goals.

As you may have noticed, this served as a bit more awkward an update than usual. The fight itself occupies only so much of the book, in between the ranting faux philosophies, and flashes to other characters involved in the book's on-going sub-plots (Legacy, Tyrant, Galactus...).
Never the less, I thought it would be nice to close the book on Fantastic Fridays with a fifth-week special featuring the other stars of Rise of the Silver Surfer.

During the month it has been interesting to note how few Fantastic Four related searches we've received, but one particular google hit does spring to mind. That was a search concerning a plot device from the film, that connects the Silver Surfer's power cosmic to the possession of his surfboard.

I try to keep an eye on what kind of things are drawing in traffic, but for things like this, it'd be great to see you dropping a comment or question. I like to think of Secret Earths as a potential resource, as much as it is a fun site to check out superhero slugfests. Well, okay, maybe not as much as that...

I haven't actually seen Rise of the Silver Surfer, but I can presume that placing the importance on the surfboard is a way of streamlining the methods of attaining the Surfer's powers. This, of course, is not true to the comics, and is likely to save time and exposition, recasting the scenario in a way more palattable to zoo-going theatre audiences.

I imagine it's no mean feat, even in the films, to steal the board away from the Surfer. As we've witnessed here during the Infinite Wars, it is not only a travelling method, but also a useful part of the Silver Surfer's cosmic arsenal. [Silver Surfer #13]

More often than not, the methods of stealing the Silver Surfer's power cosmic involve subduing the cosmic hero, and subjecting him to large, mysterious and non-descript machines. It might not be very specific, but I like to think it's a bit more tangible than playing keepaway with his board. Maybe that's just me.

I don't know how Doom is foiled in the movies, but generally the answers lie in Doom's own follies, or the intervention of someone like Mr. Fantastic or event Galactus himself. As bad a guy as Dr. Doom can be, there really isn't much you can do against a dude can pluck you out of the sky and strip you of your energy, before snacking down on a tiny planet.

As we follow along the lengthy trail of villains through Marvel Ultimate Alliance Mondays, we will get an opportunity to stop-in on Galactus, and culminate our adventures through the Marvel Universe with another entry or two with Doc Doom! In the mean time, it's good do have the doctor in!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 3.5

ADAPTOID versus THING
Adapt This! (Marvel comics)
Where: Fantastic Four: Unplugged #1 When: September 1995
Why: Mike Lackey How: Heitor Oliviera

The story so far...
A rainy night in New York City goes from bad to worse for the ever loving blue eyed thing. When he's too late to get a lottery ticket, a good deed goes punished when, having prevented a line-cutter from stealing a woman's cab, the Thing spots the FF emergency flare in the night sky.

Convincing the bedgrudging woman to share the cab, Thing makes for the Williamsburg Bridge where traffic is backed up for blocks. A cop informs him of a dangerous monster on the bridge, and when Thing asks about the Human Torch's progress he gets a nasty shock!

What super-baddy could fool the thing with a flaming signal? None other than the Mad Thinker's Super Adaptoid! Running amok, the Adaptoid has programming for one thing: The destruction of the Fantastic Four! So, watch out! It's a bridge-bound Brooklyn brawl, true believers!

Previous Form:
Thing (#22): Team victories over the Frightul Four & Sinister Twelve.
Super Adaptoid: No Adaptoid has yet been featued on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Thing 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Super Adaptoid 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 2 (Average)
Stamina: Draw 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Super Adaptoid 6 (Rubber)
Fighting Ability: Thing 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Super Adaptoid 5 (Lasers)


Y'know, when it comes to the tape, it's pretty unflattering for the ever lovin' blue-eyed Thing. Unfortunately, that really boils down to his weighted skills toward strength, which lack compensation in any other avenues.

Not that that is really a huge disadvantage for the Thing, who bruises with the best of them! Winning versatility competitions generally isn't a big part of the day when you're fighting the likes of Blastaar, Mad Thinker, Hulk and Sandman!

Of course, it gets a bit more complicated when the clobbering is up against someone designed specifically to counter and mimic your own abilities.
In that respect, the Super Adaptoid resembles the Super-Skrull, but in-truth the way in which the Adaptoid utilizes his mimickery of things like Mr. Fantastic's malleability may be far more brutal than the obscurely honorable Skrull.

When you way it up, Thing is facing the combined might of himself and his fellows in one shot, which puts him at a disadvantage by anyone's math. Generally Thing's heart and determination is going to be what gets him by, if only to buy time for the support of his teammates, but in the absence of the Fantastic Four does the Thing have the necessary might to prevail?

I'd like to think Thing always has a little extra in the tank, but the math is pretty compelling in this circumstance...

The Math: Super Adaptoid (Super Class)
The Pick: Thing (It's clobberin' time!)

What went down...
Before Thing can even digest what's going on, a giant blocky flaming fist comes out of nowhere to smack him in the gaping mouth! A fist that belongs to -- an Adaptoid!

Thing wastes no time taking a shot, but the Adaptoid takes it willingly!
The Adaptoid moves with it, shifting his fingers into jagged talons, and takes a swipe that puts the Thing on the back foot, but catches Adaptoid's hand in a nearby butcher's truck.

Thing uses the opportunity to bury the fist into the mid-section, taking the free-shot while it's there, but Adaptoid quickly rips his hand free, spraying blood (and ribs!) across Thing!

Thing notes a rumbling before taking another shot that sends him flying onto the elevated train tracks! Floored, Thing still manages to roll across the tracks out of harms way, while the Adaptoid pauses, holding his ears as the shriek of the train's brakes scream into the night air.

The train hits the Adaptoid, but it has little effect on the super-durable creature. The conductor comes to check on him, and suffers a decapitation, witnessed as the Thing pulls himself back onto the tracks. It renews his motivation.

The Adaptoid returns to the bridge, flaming blades for hands, as he invariably encounters the woman with which the Thing shared a cab. Towering over the young woman, Thing arrives just in the nick of time!

A left bends the Adaptoid's face outta shape, before Thing nails him with a right that launches the villainous mechanoid into the air!

Alas, it's not that easy! The Adaptoid comes back fast, dodging a wild swipe from the Thing, to hook up with him from behind! With no holds barred, the Thing opens his mighty jaws to bite down into the mushy arm wrapped around him!

The move forces the Adaptoid to release the hold, but Thing is quickly shocked to discover this Adaptoid retains remote control over even pieces broken away! While the Adaptoid recovers from the move, the tiny piece in the Thing's throat begins to wriggle around and try to choke him!

With a devestating crunch, the Thing pounds both of his fists into his rocky abdomen, performing a super-Heimlich maneuver on himself!

The tiny saliva covered projectile lands at the feat of the taxi-cab lady, still desperate to get beyond the fight to continue to her recital. She stomps the chunk of Adaptoid, and finds her expensive shoe snared in it's grip! Using her handbag she pounds furiously at it, before finally proving her worth in the scene. (Gee, could you tell she had a greater purpose here?)

A vial of perfume in the bag breaks, spilling onto the piece of Adaptoid with explosive results! Assuming the reaction was caused by alcohol, she calls the revelation out to the Thing!

With a beer delivery truck conveniently stuck on the bridge, Thing is able to scoop the Adaptoid up and toss him into the truck! The Super Adaptoid thunders back at the Thing, striking him with a cloud of foamy suds burning from his rubbery body.

The Adaptoid's body begins to lose dexterity, gradually becoming increasingly unstable and gooey, until he eventually melts to a smoking stain on the bridge.

And, the lady from the taxi-cab?
Takes off to leave Thing with the toll. Nice!

The hammer...
And after that lengthy account we can call it a definitive win for the Thing!

This is a very interesting comic.
I don't know if I just got a little too distracted writing the fight summary, but the past fifteen minutes are a complete haze!
We've been talking a lot the past month about comics that could provide valuable knowledge to the future of comics, particularly for the generation that progresses out of the shadow of anti-heroes and bad heroes.

This issue sort of touches on some of those writing themes, even if this is a fairly classic take on the Thing character himself.
What you won't appreciate from the scanned panels and summary is the violent quality to the comic. For what is essentially a superhero fight comic, Lackey's script seems to refuse to resign to that, and is ultimately filled with a lot of cheap, throwaway distractions.

The lady from the taxi-cab plays awkwardly, imposing character interaction better fitted to a character who could be developed with the benefit of time, and potentially be a love interest for Thing. Having just seen Strange Than Fiction, I recall the description that in a comedy the love interest begins hating the hero, but ultimately hooks up with him. That's exactly the comedic set-up you have here.

Unfortunately, this is a character that has, as far as I know, no future in Marvel comics from this point, and plays as little more than an intrusive mcguffin to defeat this version of the Super Adaptoid!

Given the hyperactively kinetic quality to the page layouts, these sorts of distractions, and moreso spontaneous scenes of unrelated extreme violence [like the conductor's off-screen splatter execution...], serve to make this a very jarring story. It's no wonder that Fantastic Four: Unplugged didn't become a series.

As a first issue of anything, it's pretty average, but I suppose some benefit has to be given to what seems to be an intent to tell isolated, done-in-one stories with the characters from the FF. I didn't read any of the following issues, so I don't know whether or not that was successful, but needless to say, the ending - which depicts a firey Human Torch declaring he's quitting the team - does not inspire great hope.

We're now in July and I'd very much like to catch-up soon, so I'll wrap it up with a question posed to anyone reading: Is Mike Lackey a pseudonym?!
I'd like to think he is, but then something in the blank that is my mind right now is nagging at me with some forgotten evidence to suggest he's a person.

If he is, I mean no disrespect for this review, and wish he and his family well.

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 3

SCORPION versus SPIDER-MAN
The Predator and the Prey Part One: The Monster Within (Marvel comics)
Where: Spectacular Spider-man #215 When: August 1994
Why: Tom DeFalco & Mike Lackey How: Sal Buscema

The story so far...
A millionaire China magnate and a genetically altered supervillain may not seem like obvious kindred spirits, but when Phillip Cussler Sr. emerges in the sewers to a raging Mac Gargan (aka; the Scorpion), the two strike up an unlikely relationship.

Cussler employs Scorpion's strength and criminal guile, with the promise that he can give the Scorpion the necessary guidance and cool-headed strategy to find purpose and strategy in combatting his problems, and the Spider-man.

With the Daily Bugle acting on behalf of Cussler Jr in the search for his father, Spider-man hopes to foil Scorpion's apparent hostage situation, unaware that Cussler is masterminding financial attacks on his own heirs. Also unaware that the Scorpion has a new power... strategy!

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#2): Spider-man has previous victories over Kraven the Hunter, Tombstone and Man-Ape.
Scorpion (#34): Gargan previously fatally defeated a disguised Space Phantom with the Venom symbiote.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Scorpion 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Scorpion 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Scorpion 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Scorpion 3 (Explosives)

Spidey's on-going rivalry with Scorpion is a pretty traditional off-setting of characters that are similar, yet so very different.

I guess you could equate these two to being something along the lines of Sabretooth and Wolverine. Scorpion, whose powers are arachnoid in theme also, is generally the larger and more powerful of the two, but Spidey's grit, determination, speed, and agility are generally the defining advantage in combat.

Likewise, Mac Gargan, as well spelled out in the intro, has never been a great thinker. Spidey, as is the case with many-a villain, is able to out strategize the Scorpion, to attain victory even in the most dire of circumstances.

Scorpion's key to victory is always his strength and raw aggression, which stems from a deep, personal hatred for the wall-crawler. He's mellowed with age, but Scorpion has always been a character of pathos who willingly thrusts his failings on Spider-man [and occasionally the man who funded his creation - J. Jonah Jameson -- Masterminding Mike].

Though possessing of amazing physical ability, Spidey is almost always portrayed as the far more agile and speedy of the two, lacking the cumbersome accessory of a prehensile tail. This, couple with strength capable of matching the Scorpion, makes Spidey the favourite every time, even on those occasions when the Scorpion comes equipped with an acid or plasma blast stinger.

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man (Could you not?)

What went down...
Having levelled an assembly of some fifty-odd hired goons, Spidey trapses his way through the filthy muck of the sewers, cautiously aware of the apparent planning put into this plan. A plan that began with Scorpion's retreat into the sewers.

Scorpion charges into the fray, colliding with Spider-man at high speed!
Despite the brilliance of his coaching, Scorpion falls into the villainous folly of revealing his plans, remarking over confidently on the advantage he takes in the confined space of the sewers. Space that narrows the field of Spidey's maneuverability!

The two clash fist against fist, as Scorpion quizzes the web-slinger on the lack of quipping and witty banter. He gets an answer with a wild roundhouse that sends him flying. "Lettin' your fists do the talkin', ain't you?"

Scorpion retorts, using his tail to flick a chunk of solid concrete wall in Spider-man's direction. The silent Spider-man gladly meets it with a fist, sending shattered shards outward around him.

Distracted by the cries of Scorpion's henchman, attack elsewhere, Spider-man narrowly leaps an attack from the Scorpion's deadly tail.

With Spider-man pinned down and playing into the Scorpion's plan, he declares an end to the shenanigans. Unfortunately, it isn't he who puts the punctuation on the fight.

Spider-man channels all the stress and hate he's experienced over recent life events, which include Aunt May having a life-threatening stroke, and Scorpion suffers for it.

A thunderous left reigns down, following by a jaw breaking right uppercut, and another, and another, and yet another still, until Scorpion goes down like a bag o' bricks.

Thus, Scorpion stands exhausted, but victorious, despite the wile training of one Phillip Cussler Sr.

The hammer...
The winner by knock-out, and still champeen-- Spider-man!

Actually, I've got to say, despite my willing indulgance in Spider-man stories from the nineties, this result is unintentionally hilarious.
I guess it could be counted as a positive that it avoids the conventions of story telling, completely disregarding the build-up of Scorpion's renewed perspective and strategy.

This is a two-parter, but it really has very little to do with the Scorpion in the second chapter. So while you may have been expecting a triumphant Scorpion in part-one, what you actually get is yet another humilation for the Scorpion.
Which is kinda hilarious, if a little unfair to a character of such great potential.

These days you'll find Mac Gargan still in the super villain game, despite rediscovering his humanity in this issue (again thanks to Phillip Cussler), mooching around inside the slimey, symbiote-y togs of the Venom costume.

Some fans scoffed the turn of events that saw Scorpion discard his classic evil green, in favour of the contemporary glitz of oily black and crazy teeth -- but I actually kinda like it. Even if it's only superficial, it somehow feels like progress!

That said, I have to acknowledge a feeling of nostalgia whilst reading this issue. I actually hadn't read it in a while, and just grabbed it off the pile knowing it would fill the Scorpion quota for the Marvel: Ultimate Alliance theme we're running on Mondays.

I kinda miss even this version of the character, which is maybe not quite the original type for the character, but is still kinda close. These days Mac Gargan has lost himself to the Venom character, I think.
During the story that established the switch, Millar maybe wrote him a little less specific than he might otherwise have, servicing the story more than the character [Mark "Civil War" Millar service story over character?! Surely not! -- Muckraking Mike], which probably lent following characterizations to do the same, selling the Venom concept.

Of course, there's a canonical precedent for a change there, too, I suppose.
A character does give of themselves when bonding with the symbiote, but it's perhaps not usually this jarring. Because, yes. There is a Scorpion shaped green hole in comics now, and it won't be filled by anyone but Mac Gargan, but you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way.

Onward ho might Mac, as you become a new man and member of the Thunderbolts! Hoooooo!

If you're one who takes note of the tags, you'll notice the Clone Saga getting a mention. This is one of several issues that sort of ran as precursor to the story proper, featuring a C-story with a familiar looking chappy with the proportionate size, strength and agility of a spider, who manages to keep his face obscured until a couple of issues later. [The chap, of course, being Ben Reilly -- the original Spider-Clone, and brief replacement as Spider-man.]

And that, my friends, is about the sum of it!
Been a pleasure talking comics with you, and I'll see you Wednesday!

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 5