BATMAN versus KILLER CROC
Broken City: Part Two (DC comics)
Where: Batman #621 When: January 2004
Why: Brian Azzarello How: Eduardo Risso

The story so far...
A murder in Gotham City has left a child orphaned, something the Dark Knight Detective can relate to. As the Batman, Bruce Wayne, son of the murdered Wayne family, uses his inherited fortune to stalk the streets of his city preying on those that would prey on the innocent.

This murder has connected with him, and so the Batman lends his aid, albeit through the filter of Detective Crispus Allen, a GCPD detective whose opinion of the Dark Knight is at least high enough to prevent it interfering in their work.

With the only witness, the son, reduced to a catatonic mess, the Batman decides to abandon a night of grilling steaks, and seek out a more receptive meat.
Somewhere in the dark city sits a man with an appetite of a different kind, and he's about to get a visit from someone most unexpected.

Previous Form:
Batman (#2): Has toppled foes such as; Hyena, Two-Face, Amazo, The Joker & Superman.
Killer Croc (#126): Survived an inconclusive encounter with Wolverine.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Killer Croc 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Batman 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: Batman 4 (Arsenal)


So, in preparing for this month's updates, I found myself collecting issues with the intentions of finding a particular sort of character; a character that somehow represented the pure fighting spirit that the Infinite Wars represent.
Two such characters seemed to present themselves for no reason in particular and they were Batroc the Leaper and -- Killer Croc!

Killer Croc has the distinction of being one of the most physical and far-out villains in Batman's core rogues gallery, as well as having one of the silliest sounding names. I'm rating him somewhere in the vicinity of Killer Moth and Ratcatcher, not quite in the leagues of the dread Crazy-Quilt.

Physically Killer Croc represents one of the strongest brute forces the Batman regularly comes into conflict with. His strength levels have ranged everywhere from competent bruiser, to hulking super-human, sometimes influenced by further mutation brought on by the intervention of others, such as Hush.

Ultimately Batman makes fairly light work of Killer Croc.
His martial arts expertise and superior speed and agility usually give him the necessary edge to out maneuver Killer Croc long enough to put him down with finesse and skill unfamiliar to the crocodilian brute.

The key to victory for Killer Croc is simple: Find someone more motivated to get to Batman, and occupy the strong-man part of a more complex and strategic plan than Croc could ever hope for. In the absence of a mastermind, it's down to surprise and trying to overwhelm the Dark Knight with pure strength.

The Math: Batman (Meta Class)
The Pick: Batman

What went down...
Taking in a pole show at the local club, Killer Croc catches the mutual eye of a perform that suggests they get a private room in the interests of her securing the guarantee of the wad of cash in his grubby mitts.

Agreeing, Croc doesn't resist being strapped to his chair with leather cuffs, taking it in as part of the show, oblivious to the two squinted eyes that gleam out of the darkness into the mirrored walls. "Beat it", the eyes order.

Batman steps into the dimly lit room and looms over the restrained Croc.
"Hmm. Not what I was expectin', but what the hell... Take it off."

The Batman pays Croc's hilarious quip tribute with an unrestrained slap to the chops that makes a mess of the impressive row of chompers the crook is sporting. He coughs up blood, and gets mad.

All Croc's jumping and snarling earns him is a pole-swinging kick to the gut. Still strapped to the chair, Croc falls back into the mirrored walls of the private room. He dares Batman to remove the restraints for a "fair" fight.

Batman turns down his request and moves to interrogation.
When Croc isn't receptive, he asks if he has a lawyer. Croc tells him he has one on retainer. Bats retorts with fist clenched - "Your dentist, too?"

Batman asks again and this time he gets the answers he seeks. Croc doesn't know where the man he's looking for, Angel Lupo, is, but he has enough info to point him in the right direction: Little Tokyo, as it were. As croc pulls a broken tooth from his bloodied mouth, the Batman leaves to follow the lead. It need not escelate this time.

The hammer...
The winner of this bout and still DC champ, Batman!

Some people like to say Batman cheats, but as he mentions during this fight where Killer Croc is restrained, he doesn't really. He plays by the rules, and it's that fact that really solidifies one of the most distinct and enjoyable things about the "grim and gritty" Batman.

Bruce Wayne's super "powers" are his cunning, guile, determination and wealth. By most of our standards those are pretty fantastic powers, but in the world of superheroes he remains but a man, and he elevates himself by bending his morals in ways the other heroes do not.

Villains hold an inherent advantage over the hero because they're willing to go to far more extreme lengths to achieve their goals. Batman draws the line at lethal force, maintaining his heroic core, but still willingly meets the villains on their own terms, and in terms of getting results that has almost made him one of the most admirable and maybe relatable heroes in comics.

For quite some time now I've been itching to talk about these comics on the site, because as peculiar a declaration as it may be, Broken City might just be one of my all-time favourite Batman stories ever! Ever, as opposed to all the other periods left out by "all-time"...

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm feeling vaguely nostalgic, so let's take a timewarp for the unintiated: It's 2003, and it's a pretty good time for Batman!

In 2003 Detective Comics is at it's most recent best, and Jim Lee has been seduced back to comics for a year-long storyarc by the man behind similarly lengthed successes like The Long Halloween and Dark Victory. I, of course, refer to Jeph Loeb, and the Batman storyarc -- Hush.

Love or hate Hush, the star power involved in it's creation and the mystery faced by Batman ensured DC had a much-needed number one seller on their hands. About the only question bigger than "Who is Hush?" was regarding the next step in the Batman flagship title's future.

Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso are the creative team behind the Vertigo title, 100 Bullets, and suffice to say that while they may not be Lee & Loeb, they had their own unique buzz as the next named creative team on Batman.

Unfortunately for some, the shock to the system was harsh and unexpected.
I was among the number taken aback by the approach seen in the follow-up to Hush. This was far from the tights and capes that traditionally garner the pages of the Batman title. Almost ironically, as a reader enjoying the urban greys of Detective Comics, I was immediately a little put off by the bright, flashy colour palette of Broken City.

This is a story that actually probably would've felt much more at home in Detective. As a subtle, but heavy urban drama, it slid much better into the Detective model of Batman stories, than the larger-than-life superheroics typical of the title it featured in.

When you get past the pinks and oranges, and the fact that Batman often appears brighter than some backgrounds, you start to realise that this a far darker tale than it appears. When you read beyond the Batman's smile, you realise the undertones are much more adult and sinister than you'd expect.

I don't know if I could boil down the facets that makes this one of my favourite Batman stories. Visually it's powerful and distinct, and thematically it intelligentlly deals with the on-going working parts of Gotham's underbelly, while paying careful attention to the finely crafted storyarc of Angel Lupo.

There are definite cues from Frank Miller's work on the title, but as heavy handed as some of those are, they're well balanced by the fact that this story very much stands on it's own. It is tangentially respectful, as opposed to being derivative of Miller's work, unlike something along the lines of Bendis' Daredevil.

As I said, it's surprisingly adult. The violence is complimented with a volley of entendres and double-speak that would likely go over the heads of children who might have read Hush, but probably shouldn't be in their hands just to be safe.

It does suffer the almost obligatory inclusion of Batman's origin, but to it's credit it, the inclusion is interesting, and vaguely unique. It's also to be argued that as a creature of obssession and motivation, it's perfectly reasonable to see the origin as often as we do, but I'm starting to spin arguments above and beyond.

A great story that I hope to revist some time in the future!

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 7

MR MAJESTIC versus CAPTAIN ATOM
A Scream Across the Sky (Wildstorm comics)
Where: Captain Atom: Armageddon #1 When: December 2005
Why: Will Pfeifer How: Giuseppe Camuncoli

The story so far...
Nathaniel Adam, a former soldier, was subjected to an experiment that left him encased in an indestructable alien alloy that was the material for the ship in which he was to have travelled. From that day forward he became the explosive superpowered agent: Captain Atom!

After years with the Justice League, Captain Atom eventually returns to the military under the Luthor administration, and when a Kryptonite meteor is heading straight for the Earth, is commissioned to pilot a ship to preemptively destroy the threat.

Captain Atom is successfully, but the explosive destruction of his ship throws him hurtling forward through time until, with his skin suffering damage, he finally comes to a stop in a strange and unfamiliar world, with an equally unfamiliar appearance: and in this new world, he's far from welcomed.

Previous Form:
Captain Atom & Mr. Majestic: Neither character has yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Majestic 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Mr. Majestic 5 (Super Speed)
Stamina: Draw 6 (Generator)
Agility: Draw 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Mr. Majestic 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Captain Atom 7 (Solar Power)


Well, I've gone out of my comfort zone again, this time with far more positive results than the last entry. [Strange Tales #111]

I can't say I've ever had any real interest in Wildstorm in any of it's incarnations. The Authority and some of the stuff done with those characters has at least appeared interesting, but never enough to finally wrench me away from properties I've previously invested in. In fact, prior to this, the only other encounters I've had with Wildstorm characters have been arcs in Superman and Fantastic Four, so I'm entirely unlearned.

Fortunately for the tape, Mister Majestic is an entirely accessible character.
In fact, anyone remotely familiar with Superman (or maybe even Sentry) could have enough information to deduce their way to some reasonable expectations for the character. Sure, there are some considerable differences, but as I love to scream violently at children, you do not need the forty-year history to understand a single, twenty-four page story. You just need to know how to read.

Captain Atom and I aren't exactly bossom buddies, but we're familiar enough to know passing info of each other. I know that he's a hero that's struggled to ever really extend himself above supporting B-character to more prominent characters in the DC Universe. I also know that he has a lot of potential, both destructively and conceptually.

I like to give Captain Atom the same benefit of the doubt I give to Martian Manhunter, and just assume that he can hover around the Superman level of strength and capability, but has been hindered by popularity contests.
Not that you can't readily find stories to back that theory up. It's just, for the purposes of the tape, I'm sure some would argue his strength doesn't quite come up to that par.

Given the nature of these characters we can deduce it will at least be a very close clash. The bredth of capabilities at Mister Majestic's disposal means he should come into a fight like this with the advantage. It's really about Captain Atom stepping up to that, and avoiding succumbing to the onset of power.

Unlike Superman, Majestros exhibits more chi-styled energy attacks, on top of the standard eye beams. Still, as impressive as Majestic gets, Captain Atom's key to victory has to be tapping into that invincibility, and really driving home with the wealth of energy inside him. That said, it might truly be too close to call! Adding to the variables, the fact that in this particular story, Captain Atom has apparently lost his alloy whilst being infused with a taste of the Void power.

The Math: Mister Majestic (Super Class)
The Pick: Mister Majestic

What went down...
Emerging from the rubble of his crash landing, Captain Atom has little time to explore his new appearance. His arrival has not gone unnoticed, and Mister Majestic apparently has some opinions to be made -- with his fists!

Captain Atom, taken somewhat unawares, suffers the consequences of this strange world, alien to him. Majestic's unceremonious attack serves as the first clue to the nature of a world lacking of DC morals and values.

The battery continues, Majestic declaring his Kherubiam will to protect at all costs. His philosophy is reflected in property damage as he sends Captain Atom flying through the rubble of a building, before sending him off with a staggering left hook that leaves Atom to land on a car below. It is crushed.

Surviving the impact relatively unscathed, Atom's concerns shift from his unfamiliar surroundings to more instinctive issues. Majestic swoops down directly into the path of Captain Atom's unbridled rage.

The blast leaves a smoking Majestic on his knees before the power of Captain Atom. He makes his own decree about the nature of his powers and strength: "My name is Captain Atom. As in A-Bomb... As in nuclear fission... As in... The end of the world."

With his declaration, the Captain raises his glowing hands above his head and strikes down at the floored Mister Majestic. The force of the impact sends the caped Kherubian shattering through the road and into a plummet far beneath the surface Earth.

Believing from his own perspective he has put a stop to a potential public menace, the Captain turns to the people adjacent to the street looking for accolades, but instead is met with fear and loathing.

Confused and certain that he isn't home, Captain Atom takes to the skies with the question, "Where am I?"

The hammer...
The winner by knock-down -- Captain Atom!

Initially I was fairly shell shocked after reading this issue.
As I mentioned in the opener, I wasn't at all familiar with the Wildstorm Universe going in to this series, and somewhere amidst the reviews and second-hand opinions I got a very different impression of what I was getting myself in to.

The shock came when I found myself reading a superhero book.
Okay, sure, I knew there were superheroes involved, but I mean this is a superhero book. There just aren't any two faux-intellectual ways about it, this makes no effort to make a commentary on the nature of humanity or superheroes, this just serves up a smackdown-fest and a whole lotta plot.

Having long since digested that fact I can definitely say it's a damned good superhero comic! Giuseppe Camncoli pencils up a storm with a firm grasp on the margins of human subtlty that go along with this far-out, in-your-face action piece. It dances a line somewhere between cartoon and from-life, and is slick and smooth, beautifully complimented by inks by Sandra Hope, and colours from Randy Mayor. It really is, visually, the total package.

While the script might not set the world on fire twenty years from now, this is one of the best first-issues I've read in a long time! In a decade bogged down in "slow-burn" opening issues that take excessive amounts of time to look at, but not elaborate on pieces of the puzzle, this one is a real treat.

Where something like the recent Omega Flight meanders around the anticipation of the formation of a new team (for a few issues), this one dives in head-first to give you more than enough information and development to feel satisfied.
We open with stylistically attentive recaps on recent events for Captain Atom, which tie everything together, while also lamenting on the parallels between his current predicament, and perennial origins.

If I had to have a gripe about the series, it would be to the very core of the concept. Armageddon alludes to a prophecy from the Wildstorm Universe, and an editorial decision to reboot the Wildstorm Universe under new direction as an off-shoot world existant within the DC megaverse.

While I have no allegiance to what has come before in the Wildstorm books - in fact, probably quite the opposite, given the relative disinterest in characters that appeared generic and uninspired - I'm never a fan of stop-starting an established canon in the interest of making it so-called "new reader friendly."

It might be a heavy-handed approach to a medium built on a pinch of salt, but I don't think history should be taken lightly. I would rather my art imitate some elements of life, and with rare exception, I don't think time and history should be omitted from the list.

I also had hoped that this might be a slightly more unique way to metatextually tie the DC/Wildstorm knot, forming a relationship between imprint and character that would prove mutually beneficial. Captain Atom lends what little DC "name" he has to the smaller branding, and Captain Atom gets a chance to be a big fish in a smaller pond, and lift his own stock somewhat.

It might have been a more superficial take on things, and I suppose there's every chance it might have upset existing Wildstorm fans even more than what eventuated, but... I don't know. As much as I enjoyed what I read, it just wasn't at all what I had expected. Still, a very enjoyable first issue!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 6

BARON MORDO versus DR. STRANGE
Face-To-Face With the Magic of Baron Mordo (Marvel comics)
Where: Strange Tales #111 When: August 1963
Why: Stan Lee How: Steve Ditko

The story so far...
Somewhere in the mountainous regions of Tibet lives The Master, ancient master of the occult and mentor to Earth's Sorceror Supreme -- Dr. Strange! The final line of defense against all things mystic, occult and supernatural!

Though Dr. Strange's name inspires intrigue and fear, there is yet another name still that sends an even colder chill down any man's spine. He was once the Master's disciple, but he was seduced by the dark arts, and so he became the exile. The man who could have been the Sorceror Supreme, Baron Mordo.

Using his astral essence to travel undetected into The Master's lair, Mordo uses hypnotic suggestion to command his faithful servant to poison his food!
Unaware of Mordo's act of treachery, Strange sends his own astral form to visit the Master in lieu of new experiments, and finds him besieged. Can Strange overcome Mordo and save his mentor, or is Earth's eldest champion doomed?

Previous Form:
Dr. Strange (#95): Aided in defeats against The X-Men, Venom & The Hand.
Baron Mordo: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Draw 2 (Average)
Intelligence: Draw 5 (Professor)
Speed: Draw 2 (Average)
Stamina: Draw 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Dr. Strange 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Draw 2 (Average)
Energy Powers: Draw 6 (Mass Destruction)


Okay, Baron Mordo, an evil sorceror, is a character with infinite potential.
You look at the tape there, and as per the infamous Haseloff SCIENCE, it's one of those 'evenly matched' hero vee villain scenarios that everyone loves.
He does comics magic in a superhero universe, so his bredth of capability, like Dr. Strange, is pretty broad, but... I really don't like Baron Mordo.

No, no... I mean, like, I rue the day I decided to feature as many of the core villains from Marvel Ultimate Alliance as I could -- JUST because Baron Mordo is on that list. He... I mean... Look, I'll admit, I'm one of those guys who likes Dr. Strange and wants Dr. Strange to stay in regular print, but I don't have a whole lot to choose from in the Dr. Strange longbox. So, my scope of reference is pretty narrow, but seriously, can't someone do something really wacky and fun with Baron Mordo?

Baron Mordo can take Dr. Strange, and Strange can take Mordo... I don't care!... We don't need to go into what kind of Casshernesque mouth restraints or Dragonmen these guys can conjure. It's not important. If you're dying for that, just look around and take note of the nineteenth object you see in the room, and then imagine it giant and weaponized and with huge teeth -- that's how either sorceror will win. It's fine.

But, seriously... The tale of the tape is all about how much Baron Mordo sucks.
He's like Strange's Dr. Doom, only he never wins, and has lost in a way as such that I instantly think of him as a fat-headed bumbling moron. Which is a shame, because like I said, he's got a ridiculous amount of potential.

After a night of sleep, I'm going to assume there's some grandious read out there I've missed. Something that makes Baron Mordo worthy of his position, and I invite anyone to drop a comment and tell me where to go (to find such a read), but in the mean time...

The Math: Dr. Strange (Meta Class)
The Pick: Dr. Strange (Because Baron Mordo hasn't been good since the sixties)

What went down...
Sensing The Master's perilous predicament through the energies of his amulet, Dr. Strange arrives via astral projection to confront Mordo.

Strange, having long expected Mordo's treachery, is all too pleased to step up, but it is Mordo who throws the first occult punch, toppling the astral presence of Strange.

Mordo continues his metaphysical dominance as the ghostly reflections of the two mystics slide effortlessly through the solid matter of the fortress' stone walls.

While the life slowly fades from The Master, Mordo and Strange debate the finer points of one's worth to maintain and control the dark mystic arts, whilst maintaining their spirited spirit-form fisticuffs.

Mordo declares his intent to destroy the Sorceror Supreme's spirit image, thus extinguishing his life for certain, whilst battling him through another wall.

The Master, even in his weakened state, continues to seek the betterment of his student, muttering something as Strange begins to gain the upper hand.

Strange hits Mordo with a stiff spirit-uppercut, before deducing from the sounds stirring from The Master that his direction was to the amulet Eye of Agamotto!
Sacrificing his own strength, Strange channels pure energy through the mystic charm, instilling The Master with renewed lifeforce.

Mordo recovers, and renews his assault, interrupting Strange's efforts to save his aging master. Weakened by his effort, Strange becomes the victim of Mordo's astral strength.

In one final expulsion of energy, Strange manages to maneuver himself into a somersaulting kick, hurling the Baron's astral projection away from him.

Still toting superiority, Mordo's confidence soon fades as Strange reveals a plan to use his amulet to locate the Baron's physical form to do away with him.

Intent on saving himself, Mordo abandons his pursuits and enters into a competitive retreat to defend his own body.

It is indeed the Baron who arrives first, returning to his mortal form before calling for Strange's surrender. Strange scoffs, revealing his gambit to bluff Mordo into returning to his body, thus lifting the hypnotic spell over The Master's loyal servant. Strange uses the power of his amulet to hold Mordo still, retreating to a fully restored Master, victorious!

The hammer...
As you would expect of a Sorceror Supreme, Dr. Strange emerges victorious from his first encounter with what will become a mortal nemesis across the ages.

So, you might have noticed that I'm posting well after Monday, even though I had officially caught up on posting duties. I have to admit, it took me a little while to get going on this one, even resigned to the fact that I was going to openly confess my distaste for Mordo as a villain.

I like some pretty corny villains. I can only assume my select few exposures to the character have been particularly unfortunate, but I think it is here, in his first appearance, that we can isolate some of the reasons Baron Mordo has been cast as a bumbling meathead.

As provisional as standards probably were in the sixties, you'd have to think it's more than contemporary irony or imagination that suggests this was a pretty tame outing for two of the world's foremost mystics.

Mordo's attempts to poison the greatest magical presence in the known world proves less than Shakespearean, likewise his squinted grimace as Strange makes a getaway having tricked him into buggering off is less than epic.

These are men who can conjure objects and manifestations inconceivable to mere mortals. They can defy time and bend logic in their conquests, and yet, these two settle their conflicts by chasing each other around the castle throneroom, while The Master sits slumped in his chair with a labored expression, and a migrane. One has to question if it was the effects of the potion-mick sapping his strength, or dismay at the sight of his two greatest pupils floating around the room like two school children.

Fisticuffs isn't what we know of a contemporary Dr. Strange, and that's a good thing, but I can't help but feel that Baron Mordo has never fully recovered from these seminal appearances. Though he goes on to challenge Dr. Strange in many fantastic and Ditko-driven ways, he is forever caught in the grips of goatee-stroking plots and 'next time Gadget' conclusions.

There's been a lot of 'if I wrote it' talk on Secret Earths lately, and until I muscle my way into any kind of printed credibility, it's a lot of fanboy hot-air. I probably shouldn't be succumbing to the temptation to bring the hammer down to my own concepts, but if I'm going to be so critical I feel I should at least put my money where my mouth is!

And with Mordo, the formula really only needs improved dressing.
The costume, ironically absent from his original appearance, needs to go, and be adapted into something far more subtle. Playing into this design might be an effort to better represent Mordo's inclination towards the dark arts, and an overall overhaul of his philosophy and outward appearance.

These are men who have mastered the fantastic, and I personally like the idea of following that throughline into their design. Their costumes should be basic, and not entirely unrealistic. I like the idea of trenchcoats instead of capes, and in the case of Mordo, perhaps an acceptable dark suit of some kind. I mean, he's a Baron, so it wouldn't hurt to look like it.

Then it's just a matter of giving him terms to develop motivations beyond the vengeful pursuit of Dr. Strange, and most importantly, throwing away the rule book. In this issue these guys are spirit-fighting, in most contemporary appearances characters like Strange and Mordo are conjuring hell beasties, and shooting colourful plasma from their hands.

Sure, that's going to be part of the arsenal, but these guys are Dragon Ball styled chi fighters. They're occultists and mystics! I like the idea of adding some constraints to the common use of their powers. Mythological artifacts and practical processes are always good for that sort of thing.

I even like the idea of putting constraints derived from traditional western magic tricks. Let's remember the fascination of transportation, transformation, levitation and various other stalwarts of traditional stage illusion and magic.

Heck, let's go nuts and build stronger emotional and personal ties between the two characters. I'm almost certain the history of Mordo/Strange has been explored, but these days nothing is sacred, so if they must be inevitably drawn together, let's put some pathos into it! Let's paint with grand and epic strokes!
Colours and chorus that make it something driven and superb!

And now as I delve into madness, let me close with this little sleight of hand:
Christian Bale as Dr. Strange; Hugh Jackman as Baron Mordo; David Bowie as The Master; Michael Caine as Strange's hospital boss! Eh? Eh?

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 4
NEXT WEEK: Thor survived death, but can he survive -- THE DESTROYER?!

CAPTAIN AMERICA versus BATROC/MR. HYDE
The Mercenary and the Madman (Marvel comics)
Where: Captain America #251 When: November 1980
Why: Roger Stern How: John Byrne

The story so far...
With the promise of a cut of a missing small fortune; French villain supreme, Batroc the Leaper, hatches a plan to free the super-powered Mr. Hyde from prison.

The two come to blows when Hyde reveals his promise of fortune to be a lie, but when he swiftly man-handles the Frenchman during a display of his savate skills, Hyde gains himself a reluctant partner in crime.

Holding a petroleum barge ransom; Hyde intends to raise a billion dollars in funds with a threat to the Roxxon conglomerate who own the ship. As if that wasn't enough, the villains also demand a hostage in Captain America, a chance for riches and revenge. How will Cap over come the odds? Stay tuned!

Previous Form:
Captain America (#8): Victories over Bane, MODOK/Baron Zemo, She-Hulk & the Sinister Twelve.
Batroc & Mr. Hyde: Neither has yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Mr. Hyde 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Captain America 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Batroc 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Mr. Hyde 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Captain America 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Captain America 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Captain America 2 (Projectile Weapon)


Y'know, this has been on the to-do list for quite some time, and given the relaxed schedule afforded in July, I thought it was the perfect time to crack it.

The appeal here is the fighting skill of the characters in question.
Mr. Hyde represents a fairly typical super brute, who really isn't of the same interest as his ally, Batroc the Leaper, a character with the distinction of being a legendary savate fighter.

We don't tend to get into the specifics of the martial arts here, but you may have at least gauged that I have some interest. While a lot of superheroes and villains have close ties to martial arts fighting skills, very few actually have any kind of process or specifics they've gone through. Which is what, no matter how flawed, makes Batroc such an interesting fighter.

You can skip on to the Hammer for the inevitable discussion about Batroc, but in the mean time, let us weigh up the stats as they read according to the tape!

Captain America is one of the heartiest, if not most skilled, fighters in the Marvel universe. Secret Earths rates him as a fighting six, representative of the skill afforded by the brutish or determined characters unique to comics. The specifics of the Captain's hand-to-hand skills tend to vary, but it's undisputable that he is one of the most persistent and successful fighters.

Certainly Batroc does not have the reputation to go toe-to-toe with Captain America, but I'd like to think on a day of his dues, his savate skills would at the very least give Cap a good touch-up. When you couple that theory with Hyde as his wingman, you start to see a pretty clear equation.

If anyone in the Marvel universe is going to overcome these odds, it's Captain America. We've seen all too often before the red, white and blue blazing it's way out of shackles toward a shield, which then blurs to a neck, which is quickly followed by boots and gloves that scramble over a sea of humanity toward victory. Captain America can beat almost anyone on his level.

On paper I think you'd have to lean toward the combination of Batroc and Hyde. Though they may not represent the epitomy of villainous reputation, they at the very least have the fundamentals to make it happen. Off the page, we pretty much resign ourselves to the assumption: Cap wins.

The Math: Mr. Hyde/Batroc (Total) Captain America (Average)
The Pick: Captain America (Yeah, even though he died...)

What went down...
The Roxxon ship, the Queen of Egypt, sails in under the Verrazano Narrows Bridge into a harbor empty save for one individual barge. There, chained to a post, stands the hostage requested by Hyde and Batroc -- Captain America!

Hyde cracks one of the crates on board, discovering the demanded ransom in gold, platinum, non-sequential cash and various other precious metals.
With their kitty secured, Hyde offers Batroc the opportunity to go to work on the hostage, a part of the plan that was supplied by the Frenchman.

Before the villains can act, Cap pushes his boot down on the planks, initiating a trigger for jets of knock-out gas to spurt upward through the barge floor.

Batroc wastes no time voicing his outrage, before leaping at the Captain with a devestating dropkick. Cap, unaffected by the gas thanks to hidden nose filters, is swift to defend the shot with his shield, before returning in kind with a stiff right, before knocking Batroc outta the park with a stiff uppercut.

Before Cap can get a lock on the treacherous Mr. Hyde, he is upon him, emerging like a nightmarish shadow from within the mist of the noxious gas.

Recalling a previous encounter, Cap looks to take advantage of a glass jaw, socking Mr. Hyde violently in the face with a stiff right. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Hyde was apparently but a shadow of himself in that encounter.

The monstrous villain laughs at the Captain's efforts, before pounding down with his own devestating clubbing fists. With the Captain knocked down, Hyde is unrelenting, unleashing everything he has on the super-patriot.

Shocked by Hyde's success, Batroc leaps onto his partner's massive arm, questioning Hyde's intentions. Appealing to his ego, Batroc convinces him that he is worthy of much more than pummeling Captain America to death like a common thug. With that, Hyde lifts the lifeless body of Captain America from the deck, and prepares to enact a far more devious plan.

When Captain America comes-to, he finds himself greeted by the sea air -- suspended on the ship's front, pointed like a patroit missile at New York City!

The hammer...
Le vainqueur, le Batroc le sauteur et le Monsieur Hyde!
I hope my French was sufficiently poor for your Batroc needs.

It dawned on me that there actually hasn't been a lot in the way of Captain America on the site, and since his death has stirred so much hubbub, it only makes it seem an even greater travesty.

So, hopefully this little gesture at least makes up for it. Even though, no sooner than I say we're going to have more DC on the site, do I slew off a four-hit Marvel combo. Be patient, DC Nation. Help is on the way, I assure you!

Much like Marvel Two-In-One #92, we might follow this entry up sometime in the near future with the second of the two-part story. Y'know, even saying that, it kinda just brings it home how rare it is to come across a two-part story these days... Thank the heavens for Detective Comics and She-Hulk, sometimes.

So, way back in the tape I mentioned Batroc, and at the risk of turning Secret Earths in to one big 'if I were...' blog, I've got to talk about the notion of a fight comic in the Marvel universe. Because, it's something they tried with Thunderbolts, and while I never actually read it, I get the impression it probably wasn't worth the time.

You've got two kinds of great fighting archetypes in superhero comics.

Your mountain movers are guys like Thing and the Hulk, who look at home when they're duking it out in a deserted area full of mountainous ridges and dirt and rock. These are the guys who created shockwaves with their blows.

Then you've got the martial artists, who generally don't have the strength of those raw powerhouses, and are much more at home on the street.
It's these guys that, to me, are where you look for your fight club regulars, and if Marvel came to me right now and said, "Hey Mike! We love that wacky blog o' yours and we want you to do a fighting comic..." the first guy I'd be asking for is Batroc. (See? I am going somewhere with this!)

Batroc is the perfect character to start a fighting comic with.
He has instant relevance, given that the sole reference for his 'superpower' is that he knows savate. He's also a villain, so it's generally going to be a lot easier to explain his shift in motivations, and it's also the reason he generally doesn't have any strings attached to other projects or areas of the universe.

We know Batroc as the silly character: The guy who became one of the Deadpool pseudo-regulars. The guy who's an easy cheap for an eighties one panel scan for an ironic blog post. Even here in 1980 he's part of a joke, albeit, a far less self-conscious one.

In that respect, it might be a bit of a tough sell, and I think the first thing you'd need to do would be to get him out of the mask, if not the costume on a whole.
From there, it's a pretty simple process of turning him into a major, or supporting cast member, benefitting from some victories over other characters, and a general effort to portray him honestly in these violent surroundings.

Presumably a fight comic of this nature is going to be a little grungy.
You're going to get the greys of the street, and the sickly whitewash of caged neon lights boucing off of minimalistic concrete walls and despondent bodies.

As you develop the scene you might start to see more superhero interaction, as it becomes a flowing spring for information, and a hub for new criminal activities. You might see guys like Iron Fist, or Daredevil, or Prowler showing up. You might, given the opportunity, even see a Ronin in a situation like this. The creation of a new fighting persona like Ronin is arguably a more believable scenario than Clint Barton's need for a costume...

Storylines would range everywhere from journeys of self-discovery, gambling and recreational money exchange, the rise and fall of powers, murder plots, honor and sport, the metamorphosis of individuals. A lot can happen in a situation like this that, much like this site, might revolve around the spine of fighting, but expand far and beyond into other realms of thought and interest.

So, before we close, who else might you see as a regular?
Maybe; Black Cat, Blacklash, Boomerang, Bullseye, Crossbones, Deadpool, Fantomex, Grey Gargoyle, Puma, Tombstone, The Wrecker... The options are almost endless! Heck, no doubt editorial would provide a slew of would-be combatants, and suggestions for characters that could be recast in this world!

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4.5

HELLCAT versus BLACK CAT
Catfight (Marvel comics)
Where: Spider-man Family #1 When: April 2007
Why: Fred Van Lente How: Federica Manfredi

The story so far...
Watch out, Rama-Tut! There are a couple of new cats in Chi-town, and they're about to come head-to-head in an afterhours catfight at the museum!

Black Cat is looking to drum up some business for her new security service, by personally testing the vulnerabilities of the museum's protection. Little does she know, Chicago is home to the heroic Hellcat!

It looks like Hellcat is going to have to defend her territory, but is this rookie hero's kung-fu a match for the cagey guile or the crafty Black Cat? Or will passing this Black Cat's path prove to be a turn of luck for the worst? Stay tuned!

Previous Form:
Black Cat (#25): Aided in the defeat of the Sinister Twelve, Carnage, & Venom.
Hellcat: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Hellcat 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Black Cat 3 (Straight A)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Hellcat 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Draw 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Hellcat 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Draw 2 (Projectiles)


Okay, set your watches people. I have until the end of this entry to come up with something thought provoking enough to fulfill my blogdream of getting a link of When Fangirls Attack. Why? Because it's an all-girl slugfest, of course!!!

As you'll have already gathered from the intro, this particular story takes place sometime early in the careers of the respective femme fatales. As always, the tape reads to represent a fairly broad representation of the characters, rather than reflecting the time placement, or status of the characters in this given story.

Two key abilities aren't particularly reflected in the tape:
- Hellcat's telekinetic abilities, attained during her time trapped in hell. As it were, I'm not quite sure Secret Earths is ready to recognise these powers obtained in the late 90's mini.

- Black Cat's bad luck powers. A standard I'm more inclined to accept, being a reader cultivated mostly through things like eighties Spider-man comics. Although, unless I'm mistaken, she hasn't had the ability to effect luck since Dr. Strange magically lifted her hex from Spider-man.

If we were to remove both powers from the equation, the fight is essentially boiled down to two skilled combatants with independently cultivated fighting skills. Each represents the height of human physical conditioning, although her ties to the super-natural tend to point the tape in favour of Hellcat.

Likewise, while Black Cat is no schlub in the field of ass-kickery, she generally exhibits less refined and martial fighting skills than the combative Hellcat.
To compensate, Black Cat needs to call upon her instictive cunning and guile, taking full advantage of her moral amiguity to play a little dirty.

I'm not sure if it would be enough to compensate for Hellcat's skill, but I at least like to think Black Cat is the more confident of the two. Hellcat has seen a lot of action, but Black Cat is the more naturally evolved character, and more confident from inception. That said...

The Math: Hellcat (Champion Class)
The Pick: Hellcat

What went down...
Having done away with the solitary guard, and worked her way into the laser secured Egyptian exibit; Black Cat closes in on a rare artifact, blissfully unaware that another, yellow suited cat has been watching her every move.

From a perch behind an Egyptian bust, the Hellcat leaps down at her unsuspecting prey!

The Black Cat manages to get a defensive leg up, contorting her and her attacker as they tumble to the ground.

They part, Black Cat extending a leg in a crouching mule kick, but Hellcat is quick to parry.

Snatching the Black Cat's ankle, she uses the wreckless move to turn Black Cat's momentum around, tossing her into one of the exibit walls.

Knocked silly by the impact, the Black Cat doesn't even find her way back into the fray. Hellcat utilizes hidden cables in her suit's gloves. Shooting her tethered claws, Hellcat wraps the would-be burglar up with ease, dropping her to the ground in an uncoscious heap.

Inspecting the Cat's bag, the Hellcat discovers not stolen goods, but rather tape and mirrors -- equipment for entry into the museum. Turning back to the artifact in the center of the laser-filled room, she notices at the foot of the statue a card that reads -- "Your security stinks. Want to improve it? Call me @ 555-BCAT"

As the recovered security guard comes to and sounds the alarm, the Black Cat's uniquely noble intentions dawn on Hellcat.

With a team of armed guards on their way, Hellcat uses the talons in her gloves to cut-free the Black Cat, and helps her escape without a second spare!

On the roof of the museum, Hellcat warns Black Cat off peddling her scam in Chicago as long as it's her turff. Black Cat playfully considers giving New York a shot, before comparing her own status as a novice to Patsy Walker's.
Black Cat tosses Hellcat's wallet to her, and takes off into the city skyline.

The hammer...
Though a peaceful resoluton was met, this one undoubtedly goes to Hellcat! X-52, why don't you tell her what she's won?... X-52?...

So, anyway... Through the wonders of international timezones I'm going to call this a Friday 13th entry, even though it's now the fourteenth here in the future. It was for this reason I took the opportunity to grab at this fight (Black Cat, get it?) that was something I've wanted to do since the last feature taken from the superb first issue of the multi-story collecting, Spider-man Family.

Not only is it a chance to take a look at a couple of interesting, more street levelled characters, but it's also one of those rare opportunities to do an all-girl fight! I'm sure they're out there, but without any kind of agenda requiring it, I tend not to seek them out. The last one was Skrull-Elektra/Ronin, I think.

Speaking of which, it was there we discussed the strength of female characters, and the often all-too derivative nature of their characters. [New Avengers #27]
So, we're not going to get the girls to talk about us by revisiting that. Likewise, the discussion of realistic violence in female-centric comics [Superman/Batman #15] is already covered, so what's left? Obviously, boobs.

Most commentary-based blogsites have a predisposed fixation with the female breast. You honestly have to wonder if some blogs would survive without the bouyancy of characters like Powergirl, who provides regular new material in cover shots, and a wealthy backlog of ironic panels, and kitschy humorous situations.

Without sounding smug, here at Secret Earths the female breast has lots it's fascination. Long ago we resigned to the fact that, like human male superheroes, the physiques in question may challenge the rules imposed by reality.
Nay, they may even laugh in the face of the Greek and Roman models of the ultimate man or woman, but they do so whilst also pushing most other facets of reality beyond the believable fold.

Not to say there aren't actually men and women out there who do resemble some comic characters. It may well mortify readers to know in my lifetime I have often found myself in physical activities where the most Liefeldian of positions were required. Yes, while my chest may not be inclined to open like a refridgerator door to gaze upon the reader at-right; twisted backs and taut calves are a staple of many-a sporting activity!

So, what am I really saying?
Well, I guess my point is, you can have your one-panel witicisms and distanced observations of the human form. Those things have their place, but maybe somewhere in the back of your mind it might pay to wonder -- is it really that shocking? Are these things not facilitated in many-a clothing store?

And besides, what are a few tentacles between heroes for hire?
Heyooooohhhhh! Went there!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 7

MACHINE MAN/THING versus ULTRON
"This Evil Returning--!" (Marvel comics)
Where: Marvel Two-In-One #92 When: October 1982
Why: Tom Defalco How: Ron Wilson

The story so far...
The android called Jocasta was originally the result of an evil plot for Ultron to take a wife. Though the transferred consciousness of the Wasp would be expelled from the robotic shell, the remnants of her memory would serve as the template for a new, whole Jocasta!

Now in the service of good; Jocasta finds herself suffering an identity crisis with no real sense of belonging or purpose. Alas, as she pines from within her temorary residence at the Baxter Building, a twist worthy of Shakespeare sets a dastardly series of deeds in motion!

Calling upon a long forgotten piece of sub-programming, Jocasta is compelled to travel across the country to a secret industrial headquarters once belonging to her creator. There, the distorted monolith stands with a buddha-esque smirk - a testament to Ultron's defeat. Even so, with the tools surrounding him, Ultron compels Jocasta to revive him, and so, the mechanical menace is born anew!

Previous Form:
Machine Man (#65): Nearly single handedly defeated Fin Fang Foom.
Thing (#15): Recently victorious over the robotic Super Adaptoid.
Jocasta & Ultron: Neither has yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Thing 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Ultron 5 (Professor)
Speed: Ultron 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Ultron 6 (Generator)
Agility: Machine Man 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Thing 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Ultron 5 (Lasers)


As many of you know, Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is a website dedicated to discussing superhero comics through a structure built around the fights contained therein.

With that in mind, it's almost disturbing to note that it has taken twenty months for us to have robot-on-robot action.
I realise it's not enough, but all I can do is apologise to all of you faithful readers out there. It's... I'm sorry.

So, in the red corner is a guy, like Dr. Doom, who is new to the website, but deserving of far more recognition than that status implies. A guy who has been known to send a shiver down the collective spines of the Avengers, Fantastic Four and Secret Defenders. Actually, I'm not really sure about that last one, I just wanted to show some diversity of the fear inspired by -- Ultron the unfeeling!

Ultron's most impressive feature is his adamantium composite body, which affords him near invulnerability, and incredible resistance to physical attacks. It's a job like that that gets heavy-hitters like Wonder Man and the Thing all hot and bothered when he comes knocking.

In the purple corner is Machine Man. You might remember him from such battles as Nextwave's encounter with Fin Fang Foom. [Nextwave #2]
As far as robots go, Machine Man (you can call him Aaron), isn't anywhere near as indomitable or obsessed with the destruction of "fleshys" as Ultron. Generally content with his creators, Machine Man bares a humanoid disguise, and utilizes much more trixy tactics in his pirsuit of truth, justice and the robotic way.

Most notable in Machine Man's arsenal is his extendo Inspector Gadgetesque arms and legs. These days he also packs a whole bunch of useful gadgets, becoming a lethal sort of humanoid-Swiss army knife. Some people would tell you that doesn't count because Nextwave was "not in continuity", but those people are Nazis and should be marched to the gallows as soon as possible.

Inexplicably joining Machine Man in battle, as was the style in Marvel Two-In-One, is the ever loving blue eyed Thing, having apparently survived yet another sub-average feature film. (Ooo, meta-textual! Someone grease me up like Grant Morrison!)

Thing certainly packs the physical punch Machine Man is otherwise lacking, but even he is going to have a tough time shutting Ultron down for good. Truth be told, without the aid of specially customized thumbtacs, Thing can't even program the VCR, not that he knows how...

Together, Machine Man and Thing are a pretty good team, but without talking about potential strategums and preperation time, I'm going to give this one to Ultron. The simple facts are that even Things brute force fails to measure up to Ultron's strategic and phsycial prowess.

The Ma th: Thing/Machine Man (Overall) Ultron (Average)
The Pick: Ultron

What went down...
Having rebuilt Ultron, Jocasta is able to break free of her dormant programming and regain independence. In such a state, she becomes of little use to Ultron, who recognises the change and goes about knocking her down for her defiance.

Ultron gloats over Jocasta like a mechauvenist, distracted so much he doesn't even see the telescopic arm shooting forth a purple fist! It strikes Ultron across the face, before being followed by the mechanical Machine Man!

Machine Man uses his extendable legs to dodge Ultron's power blasts, while his extended arms give him the necessary reach to continue to sock it to Ultron! Ultron pursues the weaker of the two robots, but Machine Man continues to keep his distance through the use of his highly durable and agile telescopic legs.

Just as Thing shows on the scene, the building cracks open from Ultron's wreckless display of power! Inside, he finally snags one of Machine Man's legs, and while Machine Man remains comedically defiant, his leg easily snaps under the might of Ultron!

Thing wastes no time going to work, literally pulling the flooring out from under Ultron in a move that buys the damaged Machine Man some time to himself.

The immovable object meets the unstoppable force in a classic scene as the two super-strong titans clash! Apparently not privvy to the pretentions of Ultron's favor for robots, Thing suffers the verbal assault, if unscathed by the physical blow.

Coming out fine, Thing cleans Ultron up with a left-hook that sends the machine menace flying across his own headquarters into an adjacent wall of technology!

Even so, Ultron does his best T-800, returning at speed for another shot at the Thing. The two tie-up, and as cosmically infused biceps push against futuristic servo-mechanics, Ultron reveals another of his many skills!

Thing finds himself ill-prepared for an attack of hypnosis!
Locked up at a close quarters, Thing has nowhere to lose himself but in the eyes of the sinister robot! Why, it might almost be romantic, if they were cowboys! [You're telling me the date is up on Brokeback gags?! Come on!...]

Meanwhile, Machine Man does his best to pull himself together, but the damage sustained by Ultron's earlier assault becomes the least of his worries!

Leaning against a wall without the use of his legs, the Machine Man has the misfortune of staring down a hypnotised Thing, who would have fisticuffs with him!

Though the war may rage on, this battle is over!

The hammer...
Following in the footsteps of Doom, Ultron debuts with an impressive victory! Sometime in the near future we might pick that up in the next issue, where Thing is the slave of Ultron! Dun dun!

Unlike Dr. Doom, there's actually no curiosity about the distinct lack of Ultron on this particular website. In my humble estimation, Ultron represents both, perhaps, the greatest villain to menace the Avengers -- and also one of the shining examples of what tired me in a world of classic Avengers. He'd be one of the factors that made me a bit more receptive to the New Avengers, than a lot of other fans.

There's something inherently American about Ultron.
It's true of Iron Man, too, as well as a lot of other technologocially grounded characters in the Marvel and DC universes. Though they are generally accepted to represent the most advanced of technologies, they have a way of retaining their clunky, basic, unimpressive designs -- and you can forget about getting smaller!

Yes, in it's own way I actually find it charming.
In a world still reeling from the fad explosion of anime culture, it's somewhat refreshing to pick up a comic about robots or suits of armor, and not recognise something unmistakingly Japanese. Undoubtedly it was cringe-worthy when Marvel unleashed it's manned Sentinel models, that unashamadely paid "homage" to Neon Genesis: Evangelion and it's giant-sized EVA units.

I sort of enjoy the subtle commentary that is there, even if only through the American subconscious, that continues to have Iron Man show up in big, rendered suits of armor. Sure, he's come a long way since the 'fridge tank', but for such an advanced piece of technology, he has a way of really looking pretty basic. And an alien shaped helmet really didn't help sell otherwise. So, it's amusing to see clunky American manufacturing and design feature in technologically inclined comics, but for Ultron, it just seems old hat.

The irony here is that I haven't been reading Brian Bendis' Mighty Avengers, which reinvents Ultron as a vivacious Mike Cho woman. As much of a design improvement as that might be, it isn't quite what I would've had in mind.
Actually, for me, Ultron as a concept isn't a new subject. I've pondered it briefly before, and personally, I actually think a little bit of that Japanese touch, filtered through the Western world and sub-cultures of the Marvel universe, are actually what might be needed.

You have a lot of pieces of the overall puzzle sliding around fairly conveniently to provide usage of one of the booming pieces of technology available right now.
Being that I'm not reading Mighty Avengers, I don't know how steeped the current Ultron stuff is in the technology, but being that Iron Man has essentially made himself wirelessly online, it opens his vulnerability to a foe like Ultron up in ways that excite and intrigue.

I like the idea of Ultron-5 and Ultron-XI, and all the other successive models that work their way into the canon with every appearance. I like applying what we know about the character to the conventions and adapted rules of existing technologies -- like wireless and internet applications.

Tony Stark, now organically online through wireless technology, suffers some of the vulnerabilities of everday wireless use. Expanding them out to super-concepts, I like the idea of an Ultron who might try to exploit the lack of natural firewalls Iron Man would have. Granted, Tony Stark will be privvy to some of the most advance online security, but on a while I love the idea of Ultron, through various means, attempting to hack or interfere with Iron Man and his wireless armors.

In my world, this is really a decoy measure. I think surrendering Tony Stark to the control of a hacking Ultron is a little too easy, but in a world where man and machine have become one, you start to see new and interesting ways for new versions and models of Ultron to [co]-exist.

I personally like the idea, particularly for the online aspects, of a sentient and self-replicated virus versions of Ultron. Something along the lines of Project-2501 (Ghost in the Shell), that is a self-running intelligence. Presumably this downloaded or programmed version of Ultron would be able to access informations independently for his solid counterpart, while also reinventing the returning-Ultron concept through the use of stored versions of the online-Ultron through various internet sites.

Much like real virii or hackers, the basic tools of the internet suddenly become frustratingly effective weapons for Ultron. It's just a matter of upscaling that logic to deal with men, suits of armor, and SHIELD helicarriers.

Then you take the notion of onlineUltron (iUltron) attempting to hack into Tony Stark, who may have even been the unwitting victim of iUltron's subversive intelligence attacks, before becoming aware of them. Attacks that provided Ultron with Matrixesque avenues to establish yet another new form in his war on humanity and flesh.

Having gained access to the Extremis information, iUltron suddenly begins to emerge across the internet spreading the question, 'What is the 616?'
As dispondent and disillusioned individuals across the world begin responding to this exciting new wave of online philosophy, one [un]lucky user is chosen, perhaps because of the location indicated by their IP, to meet with Ultron.

Becoming the recipient of the Extremis project, 'The One' plucked from an Internet Relay Chat is suddenly transformed into the physical vehicle for a brand new Ultron. An Ultron derived from iUltron, but dealing with a brand new concept: In a world that can create human-machine hybrids, where are the lines of war drawn?

This is where, I assume, the lines of Bendis' work bare, and I also believe he's breeched the subject of hacking Iron Man's armor. Although, Ultron taking possession of Iron Man technology is by no means new, this updated version is maybe more along the lines of what I came up with. I don't know.

But ultimately what you find yourself with is Ultrons with distinct personalities and interests. Classic Ultron, the adamantium bodied robot represents the old ideas, and the mission to destroy all life on Earth in favour of robot dominance.

iUltron, existing purely as a free-running program, would perhaps become a more benevolent concept. You could go a lot of different ways with a lot of different running versions of iUltron, ranging from a comedic meltdown due to internet spam -- to a metaphorical devolution as a result of becoming obssessed with collecting data from newsites and google searches -- to becoming a living application tool to be exploited by terrorists and heroes alike.

Or hey! Maybe Aaron Stack (aka; Machine Man) could download iUltron and convince it to serve as a finance calculator, so he can dazzle all with his accountancy presentations! Mmm... Yeah, or not...

Then, finally, you have the Extremis-Ultron, who is fundamentally influenced by both versions of Ultron (being that his consciousness is a downloaded version of iUltron), but finds himself on a path for his own discovery.

In his own dramatic twist, Extremis-Ultron takes on a peculiar admiration and respect for Tony Stark, and as a being of tech and flesh, abandons a pursuit of human eradication. Instead, like the Ultron of the past, he pushes a whole new concept of human-mecha hybrids, in the same old way.

In this respect, Extremis-Ultron ultimately becomes an enemy to Iron Man and Ultron-original alike. His vision of the world is to merge the two, threatening both humanity and robotics.

And those are just some of the ways you could use Ultron, largely tied to one story concept created last year when I probably could've been doing something more productive. Hey, a guy's gotta have goals. Goals to turn everyone at Marvel into human-robot hybrids! Mwahahahaha!

Hey, y'know, iUltron could reinvent himself as a mysterious pop-synth artist. And he could jam out with Tom DeFalco, who's just hit the top ten creators!
Rock me Extremis! R-r-r-rock me Extremis! Uh uh oh! Oh uh uh uh oh!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 4.5
NEXT WEEK: The dark magicks of the man called: BARON MORDO!