BATMAN versus O.G.R.E
Rules of Engagement: Part Two (DC comics)
Where: Batman Confidential #2 When: March 2007
Why: Andy Diggle How: Whilce Portacio

The story so far...
The dichotomy of vision between Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne is extrapolated when the businesses vie for a contract to develop technology to benefit Gotham City.

WayneTech's designs are ones of peace, utilizing state of the art technology to create search and rescue robots with the use of neural-link transmission pilotting.
Conversely, LexCorp concerns itself with the potential threat of an ever changing world full of the fantastic and bizarre. Luthor's proposal is built on advanced weaponry and proactive peace creating agents, as opposed to Wayne's more passive tools.

With a verdict to be decided, things take a nasty turn for WayneTech when their rescue OGRE droid attacks Lex Luthor outside the very building the proposal was made in. Will the Batman be able to solve the mystery of the rogue robot?

Previous Form:
Batman (#1): Batman defeated another giant killer robot, in the form of Amazo.
WayneTech OGRE: The OGRE robot has not yet been featured.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: WayneTech OGRE 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: WayneTech OGRE 6 (Generator)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: WayneTech OGRE 5 (Lasers)

Situations like these are always pretty awkward because there really isn't any previous data to draw upon for the OGRE droid, and it's not likely there will be any more after this. Thems the breaks, I suppose.

Batman is Batman. He finished 2006 as the top rated fighting superhero in comics here on Secret Earths, and he did it with only one defeat to his name. [Batman and the Mad Monk #1]

OGRE is a robot built to be able to sustain the most uninhabitable conditions, which inadvertently means he's highly durable and incredibly powerful, with much of the technology being geared toward rescue and retrieval in disasterous situations. This gives it a huge advantage of strength against the human Batman.

The equaliser, as we well known by now, is in Batman's endless arsenal of technology, which under other circumstances could logically include this very piece of hardware. This array of technology is especially efficient when combatting other technologies, with the Batman able to access minds capable of strategising even where he can't.

Although not necessarily a disadvantage, OGRE is pilotted by a human, which also scales down the fantastical extent to which he can analytically combat Batman. This is man versus man controlling machine, and Batman's had much worse.

The Math: Batman (Meta Class)
The Pick: Batman

What went down...
So, the OGRE generally menaces around as it stalks Luthor, ripping effortlessly through the high-grade armor plating of Luthor's limo. Luthor attempts to bargain with the machine, but the implications of his fortune are lost on the bot.

Batman shows on the scene, tossing a clunky Batarang into the field, but OGRE is able to catch the projectile before it strikes -- unwittingly catching a flash-grenade variety batarang! It stuns the robot's sensors momentarily, giving Batman opportunity to place a frequency jamming device on it's back.

The device proves unsuccessful in stopping the machine, allowing it to continue freely on it's rampage. OGRE wrenches the street lamp Batman perches atop from the ground, whipping the hero into the air.
Thermite acid proves to barely be a distraction as he analyses his options.

Luthor's entourage fire on the machine, while Luthor exercises his greatest muscle [His brain... sickos... - Miscreant Mike], recognising the sewers as a viable escape route that would prevent the bulky machine from following.

While Luthor makes his escape crawling through waste on his hands and knees, the OGRE droid pounds at the ground attempting to gain wider access than the narrow manhole.

Batman attempts to contain the distracted machine, but knows full well that his multi-walled nanofilament grappling cable will have little effect on the man-made beast. It snaps it like it were little more than ribbon, and just like that, gives up the fight. With it's in-built rocket thrusters, the OGRE makes a clean getaway.

Meanwhile, back at WayneTech the machine's pilot is found dead in the saline filled deprivation tank form which the machine is controlled. Thus posing the question -- was the controller killed before or after the attack?

One illegal autopsy later, Batman discovers a synthetic medical implant that was no doubt responsible for the pilot's death, but undetectable to conventional investigation methods. The technology fits directly with the boasts of Lexcorp, proposing a connection between the victim and the OGRE attack.

Batman's deductions prove valid when he finds the OGRE at a Lexcorp compound seeking out radioactive materials to power the machine reactor.
Batman connects the events, realising the pilot was presumably working for Luthor from within WayneTech, but was killed while in the tank, leaving his mind to somehow embue the machine with a pseudo-sentience.

Batman tries to talk the "ghost in the machine" out of it's quest for revenge, but is met with a violent response.

Unfortunately for OGRE this time Batman came prepared. Rather than engage the machine once more, he uses his technology to shut the machine down and eject it's memory cortex.

The violence is stopped and Lex Luthor's life, and the lives of untold Lexcorp workers are no doubt saved, but the Batman can't help but feel he has blood on his hands, as this adventure comes to a close.

The hammer...
Well, before anyone else says it, I'm just going to cop to it and acknowledge how full of crud I am. Batman emerges victorious in this second month of 2007.

I was honest in my predictions of a quieter year for the Dark Knight, but I guess when push came to shove, I just couldn't resist getting him on the site again to represent for the D, the C, and the worthy top fivers. 'Cause as much as I love Moon Knight, c'mon...

I digress, I definitely selected this issue for the story more than the fight.
This new title, Batman: Confidential, replaces the cancelled Legends of the Dark Knight, which essentially served a very similar purpose, serving up stories that more comfortably slot into previous decades or eras of the character.
In that respect, the launch of this new title feels underwhelming. As interesting as Diggle and Portacio are under their own individual merits, you can see where it may have previously been less obvious, how this book differs from the All-Star line.

I actually like Whilce Portacio's work, and as the sometimes forgotten Image Comics found, I do tend to wonder where he is, and why he isn't compelled to pick up a pencil and do something high profile. We know the work's out there, having reviewed his work previously. [Iron Man #2]

Portacio's pencils are understandably poorly received by some. His layouts and scenes feature many characteristics of the nineties, with over the top action in most panels, and overlapping page layouts that appear unruly and hyperactive compared to the pseudo-realistic subdued approach of most contemporary reads.

Portacio's stylized approach could be described as moody Jim Lee.
His peculiar trademark of thick black shadow around eyes, even when lit otherwise, is actually something I kinda enjoy. It's not what I'd want to see in every book, but as something unique to Portacio, it's interestingly effective.
Likewise in Iron Man, Portacio's darkness reflects surprisingly well on duplicitous corporately driven characters, with Lex Luthor and even Bruce Wayne appearing appropriately sinister at times. Something we saw on the Civil War/Ultimates-esque Tony Stark during Heroes Reborn.

As for the story itself, it's very similar to an episode of the anime TV seres, Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040, in which a deep sea miner is crushed by his collapsing facility, and the droid he operates becomes corrupted with the pseudo-sentience of his controller.

As a stand alone episode Bubblegum Crisis was able to tell the more rivetting of the two stories, with an emotional line of a neglected wife (ultimately widowed) being the driving component of the story -- rather than this book, which presumably uses this revenge plot to point to corporate espionage, which will no doubt further the book beyond this issue.

It isn't bad, but it would be very easy to tear the book apart, perhaps unfairly-so. Actually, I think it's interesting to note that it deserves at least a second read. Twenty-twenty hindsight adds depth to the action earlier in the piece, explaining with new meaning events such as the failed signal jammer (assuming the controller has already died), and why Luthor offers the machine the prospect of a deal.

For this, Diggle has to get full credit, but as the launch of a brand new feature Batman title, the delivery is somewhat underwhelming.
Editorially, the story itself is actually quite baffling. It reads like a very good Legends story, but to launch a book like this it's surprising more high profile guest characters weren't used. Not that I condone that sort of thing, it just would've made more sense.
Mind you, I guess I'm discounting the value of Lex Luthor as a villain in a Batman book. Likewise, maybe I'm not recognising how deliciously subtle this hero/villain story has come to be set up.

I can't guarantee my sustained interest, but I have to admit, the more I look at the book, the more I can at least pick out the positives. Overall it's a pretty average read, but if you somehow arrived at this paragraph before the previous, you might enjoy the secondary layer one attains from the conclusion.

This isn't typically the kind of book I'd review here, but hey, I'm being contemporary while I can. It's not like I piss money, and buy comics every week. Yes, I'm looking at all of you other over indulged comics bloggers and laughing. Bitterly.

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 5

DEADPOOL versus TASKMASTER
Unfinished Business: Part One (Marvel comics)
Where: Cable & Deadpool #36 When: March 2007
Why: Fabian Nicieza How: Reilly Brown

The story so far...
Deadpool's career has been in something of a slump, and hanging out with Cable most of the time probably hasn't really helped that reputation of his. So what's a merc with a mouth to do? Score points off some more popular schmuck, of course!

Deadpool tracks down his old sparring buddy, Taskmaster, who still has a mess of cred in the world of warriors-for-hire. In return for freeing him from imprisonment, Taskmaster agrees to entertain Deadpool's insane request.

With the help of his ol' pal, Weasel, Deadpool organizes a showcase in front of an assemblage of those-that-would-need-mercenaries. To up the anti, Deadpool shackles himself as he steps into the field against the Taskmaster.
Insane, or truly, truly brilliant?... Probably insane, yeah...

Previous Form:
Deadpool (#45): Deadpool successfully tangled with the Incredible Hulk!
Taskmaster (#193): Taskmaster was humiliated by Moon Knight.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Draw 3 (Trained Athlete)
Intelligence: Taskmaster 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Deadpool 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Deadpool 5 (Marathon Runner)
Agility: Deadpool 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Taskmaster 7 (Born Fighter)
Energy Powers: Deadpool 4 (Arsenal)

Taskmaster has the honor being the first repeat customer of 2007!
Let's all give it up for the Task-man! Yeah! Whooo!

Tricky thing about Taskmaster is, he's one of those guys who by the very nature of the character should be incredibly successful, but because of that, have become regular targets for defeat. Basically, he makes people look good.

It's said that he can master and duplicate nearly any fighting technique he witnesses, and has a photographic memory for such details. Thus, he is still often seen to carry around approxomations of Avengers weapons, like Captain America's shield, for example, and the Swordman's sword.

Because Taskmaster supposedly breaks down and understands the fighting techniques of others, his intellectual basis suggests he could know your own moves better than you do.
Daredevil remarked in a recent feature that he fights with a rage other fighters don't understand, and this alludes to the instinctive and personal nature of fighting stances and styles. Thus, Taskmaster could presumably pick and choose his way through an arsenal of moves, refining it to be pure and intelligent.

Of course, a wise villain once asked, "Think you can outsmart a bullet?"

For all his skills, Taskmaster is still a man, and there's nothing about his talent that says he couldn't overlook an opponent, or be on the unlucky end of a rocket blast, or something. Also, he could like, be totally in love and not even see the bus coming. See where I'm going with this?

While Deadpool does not carry a bus in his arsenal (as far as I know...), he is in many ways the anti-thesis to the Taskmaster. He has comparable ability to execute skill, but lacks consistent or coherrent thought process. Likewise, he is often completely unconcerned with the fighting prowess or strategy of others.
Deadpool also has a buff nerd for a friend, and kidnapped an old lady and held her hostage for nurturing.

Above all this, Deadpool is a master of obnoxious wit, and given enough time he would almost certainly realise that if you swap a couple of letters you get Masktaster! If Hulk had more letters in his name, even he would be felled by such a hilarious and clever insult.

Jokes aside, these two are actually incredibly evenly match, for many of the reasons listed. Deadpool's healing factor gives him a slight edge, but as a level headed and well executed fighter, it's hard to overlook Taskmaster.

Gosh. Decisions, decisions...
I guess in the purity of this section, this time I'm going to go with the following, but really, this choice could change at any given moment. Much like Rose McGowan's hair colour.

Oohhhh, come on! You totally got that!
Don't make like you don't watch Charmed and wonder about interior decor... Dirty pervert...

The Math: Draw (Meta Class)
The Pick: Taskmaster (Just cuz...)

What went down...
Having freed Taskmaster, bartered for his cooperation, and then sucker punched him out... Deadpool manacles up and enters the test ground of a special forces military training base, apparently outside Provo, Utah.

Armed to the teeth, Deadpool fires off a bazooka blast that narrowly misses Taskmaster and his stupid cloak hood/cape combo.

Spying his target through nightvision goggles, the bound Deadpool hops his way into the coures to make a more front-on attack.
Lurking in the shadows, Taskmaster makes eye contact, and deciding to move in for a more personal attack, he clutches his sword and charges in with the lamest battle cry you've ever heard -- gyaaaaaaaaah!

Pool spins around fast enough to block the hit with a bo-staff and rolls through, tossing the Taskmaster, who lands masterfully on his feet.
Perturbed by his immature, innuendo laden humor, Taskmaster charges at Deadpool with his sword, impaling the merc with a mouth!

Heartbreaking! Unless you've got a grade-A functioning healing factor!

Deadpool slides his way down the sword to come face-to-skull-face with his ol' bud, and twists his body to throw him off balance. The staff does the rest of the work, with a nice tap to the noggin.

Blood gushes from his wounds as Deadpool continues the staff borne thrashing, until Taskmaster is able to slice through the wood with his mighty sword. ... *snort*

DP hits the wall and ricochets back with a drop kick, following it up with a shackled Polish uppercut with the two-fist.
Then emusic.com offer you 25 free songs when you sign up via emusic.com/marvel, with the guarantee their MP3s work on any player including iPod! Neat!

Taskmaster nurses his jaw, refreshing his memory with just how hard Deadpool hits [and how low Emusic.com's prices are] when DP brings down a brick "George Perez city rubble" wall down where Tasky's kneeling.

Narrowly avoiding being crushed, Taskmaster takes pirsuit after the hopping mercenary, leaving behind the urban compound for forest territory.

Further showing off his combat abilities, Deadpool utilizes his surroundings in the whooping of Taskmaster. TM navigates a cascade of boulders, ducks swinging tree branches, and braves an inexplicable desert storm in his chase of Deadpool, until the Pool-man emerges from beneath the sands and tags him with a poison dart!

With that, Deadpool schlups Taskmaster's unconscious body back to the military base where he parades his victory before the [unwillingly] assembled panel of judges and would-be employers.

Unfortunately, they are none-too impressed by his MTV commercial tactics. Instead of stirring business, he has in fact only further reminded everyone how much of a liability he can be. BUT -- he still won. Nyah-nyah.

The hammer...
Two months in and Taskmaster's already heading to the bottom of the table, as Deadpool picks up his second Secret Earths victory.

I have to admit, as impartial as I try to be when it comes to selection, it felt like we'd been sorely missing Deadpool entries.
Find me a man who does not enjoy Deadpool comics, and I will show you a moron!

This is actually the first time I've picked up the Cable & Deadpool book, having been tied up with other priorities [and limited funds], and some reticence about the Cable side of things. This probably isn't an accurate way to sample it's flavours, but at the very least I can say this was a pretty satisfying purchase.
Nicieza may just be incredibly obnoxious, but with Deadpool sometimes it's hard to differentiate between obnoxious/bad comedy writing, and his character.

The continued relationship between Deadpool and Taskmaster is a joy to behold though, and I only wish the UDON designed costume [used in TM's mugshot] had stuck. It would've been nice for Deadpool's legacy of positives to extend beyond him. Alas, Taskmaster is back in the buccaneer boots and cloak. What a rube.

I wish I had some profound revelation to bestow upon you all, because I certainly enjoyed this comic. It's just... It's pretty much a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kinda deal. This is a straight up fight comic, with a brief prologue that whole heartedly breaks the fourth wall (in a more blunt vein than "The Masked Marvel" or "She-Hulk"), and resolves a cliffhanger hook that promises more wacky fun next issue with the escape of the Rhino.
[Rhino, for those who don't know, infamously wound up a keychain at the hands of Deadpool. How humiliatin'. - Monolithic Mike]

I missed out on much of Gail Simone's work, but if I had to compare Nicieza's Deadpool to the defining work of Joe Kelly, I'd have to say there might be something lacking in the humor of the dialogue. As I mentioned, it's hard to break apart the character of Deadpool and really refine the good from the bad, but it did feel something was perhaps just a tad askew as far as the written gags versus the visual stuff.

That said, Reilly Brown, whom I don't know by name, has a pretty decent pencil line, well complemented by Jeremy Freeman's inks and Gotham colours.
It just perhaps feels a little less committed to story or comedy, teetering somewhere in between. It's good, but Nicieza seems to remain at the cusp of the big time as a jack of all trades, but master of none.

It is of course February 9 as I type this, which means I've fulfilled my Friday update commitment, even though I'm still a week behind. Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll catch up in the hour and a quarter left before midnight! [Not likely!]

Had a recent influx of hits, so it seems like we're finally getting the address into the right hands. Thanks to everyone who's joining us, and hopefully you're getting what you need. If you aren't, meet me in the alley behind the Sweedish deli and we'll see if we can't come to an arrangement.

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 4.5

MONTHLY PUNCH-UP #14 (February 2007)
JOKER versus ROBIN
Slayride (DC)
Where: Detective Comics #826 When: February 2007
Why: Paul Dini How: Don Kramer

Quick Fix...
Well, I'm posting this on the sixth, so I'm pleased to say I'm nearly caught up completely! More on that when you scroll down to the Hammer, but for now...

Another exciting debut for Secret Wars on Infinite Earths this time in the form of the clown prince of crime - The Joker! Which is kinda strange, when you think about the guys who have been featured. [Looking at you, Dr. Dorcas...]

I kinda had to check this issue out, because I've been a bit sour on the turn in direction for Batman, and this single issue was hyped beyond compare. So, it's a good thing there was some action in there, otherwise I couldn't tell you all what I thought.

I'm going to start with a negative to soften you up, and that negative is the artwork. That first Dini issue with JH Williams promised a great deal, and pointed toward something familiar but different enough to be interesting.
Unfortunately this issue does not feature that kind of treatment, with fairly plain pencils from Kramer and a heavy (but erratic) ink from Wayne Faucher. Colourist John Kalisz does not fade his colours far enough to fall into an eighties homage along the lines of Killing Joke, but it is certainly heading in that direction.
A direction that I'm really not very fond of. [See; Detective Comics #817]

One of the things I had come to enjoy in Detective Comics was the visual style that danced between something along the lines of the Dini-involved animated series, if not in style, in colour palette, drawing largely on greys and urban tones.

Dini's writing actually steers closer to that enjoyable period on the title, with more street orientated stories about the Dark Knight. Granted this issue features Robin, it still maintains a level of reality that distances itself from the caped crusading of the flagship book.

The issue itself probably got more fan-press than it really deserved.
Putting Dini and Joker in the same sentence pretty much guarantees premature fanboy e-reaction, but that considered, it probably wasn't as misproportionate as it could've been.

Dini tells a comptent and interesting done-in-one story that features the Joker nabbing Robin from peril, and taking him on a lethal hell ride across a Christmas decorated Gotham. Some people seem to have over extended this as some sort of revolutionary take on the character, but this is no great character analysis. It's just a fun, single, floppy read.

Our fix begins toward the end of the issue, where Robin has managed to free himself of his shackles by removing his glove, and is baiting Joker with reference to Three Stooges movies.

He riles the Joker by deliberately confusing a line from one film with another, which distracts Joker enough for Robin to throw on damned hard punch.
He then wrenches the rearview mirror from it's place and uses it quick and hard to attack the Joker. Robin willingly acknowledges that he needs to hit hard and fast, wasting no energy on quips and gags.


Robin dives into the back seat, using one of Joker's victims as a shield against a wirey arm that throws a stiff fist. The gawking grin produced by his own toxin leaves Joker with cut knuckles from the move.

As the Joker grimaces, Robin drives the back of his head into the car ceiling and finds the lump of a gas deploying weapon. He blasts it directly into the clown's face, forcing him out of the car onto the highway.

Gasping for breath, he doesn't notice the oncoming truck until it's too late.

In what is usually a good Joker moment, he remarks on his certain doom with a light heart, and laughs hysterically as his limp body is thrown into the air by the velocity of the impact.

Batman ultimately arrives on the scene, but the Joker's body is nowhere to be found. What he does find is pride for how Robin handled the situation, despite many fatalities and a bungled job involving rival gangs.

This one really could've gone either way in terms of being cartoonishly hilarious, or brutally threatening, and to the credit of the art team, they really do sustain the menace of the situation. The decision to play it serious is probably more interesting, although, with the minimalist style seen in the cartoons, this easily could've been one of the more light hearted Joker episodes.

Who am I really critical of? I guess the purveyors of the medium, who have perhaps misplaced previous adoration when promoting or reviewing this book.
It is by any take a very good and enjoyable read, but not the ultimate Joker story.

The Fix: 4 The Issue: 5

The Top Five...
I have to admit, it feels really wrong leaving behind the top five of 2006. A lot of those characters spent most of the year with us, so discarding them in favour of a new year is very strange. Especially with some of the choices I made for this month's entries. Anyway...:

#1 Moon Knight (new) (new) (Marvel)
Class: [Champion] Last Opponent: [Taskmaster]
Win Percentage: [100%] Features: [1]

You ever have a friend who dumped his girlfriend and then started going out with a girl who looked and acted just like her?
That's kinda what this feels like. We've traded Batman at the top spot for what is essentially a Batman analogue, and it just doesn't feel right... Despite being a hot property right now, I couldn't expect Moon Knight to stick around here for long.

If you look at the beginning of the first year of the site, you can see this organic approach is fairly different to the name loaded first month that produced a fairly worthy first ever top five.
Consider this one an abberation folks. Apologies to the Mooney fans.

#2 Spider-man (-) (6) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Tombstone]
Win Percentage: [87.5%] Features: [8]

Well, a new year for the top five and Spider-man still can't quite get to the top spot. I might not be pushing Batman anymore, but apparently I'm still happy to hold the Spider-MAN down.

Jokes aside, it's bound to be a big year for Spider-man. As the new mugshot [featuring art by Casey Jones] might suggest, the Black Costume's coming back in '07, and that's thanks in no small part to a third feature film.

I've been pretty silly for Spidey villains lately, too. Heck, even the X-Men are featured fighting The Lizard, who's being rumored for a fourth Spider-man movie.
So, I guess that's indicative of Spider-man's staying power at Secret Earths.

#3 Red Hood (+26) (new) (DC)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Brick]
Win Percentage: [100%] Features: [2]

Another abberation, one would have to imagine.
As much as I've enjoyed the larger aspects of Jason Todd's return, you just couldn't say he's top five material. Not when we've come used to seeing the likes of Batman, Spider-man and Superman.

His story gained momentum in the pages of Judd Winick's Batman, so it's little wonder a recent turn in Green Arrow has salvaged what was otherwise a fading career for the reborn vigilante.

His story is not one of grand motivations and ideas, but rather the active reentry of an old character in a new way. It would be a real shame if Red Hood were to fall victim to the shift in priorities of the core Batman books, because this has been a surprisingly positive return!

#4 The Punisher (new) (new) (Marvel)
Class: [Champion] Last Opponent: [Rhino]
Win Percentage: [100%] Features: [1]

Another debutant on the top five, and at fourth, slightly less disappointing than the top spot Moon Knight.

Punisher's return to the Marvel Universe has made him a much more likely candidate for feature here. As much as I love the MAX book, there just aren't enough fisticuffs to get it on a site dedicated to superhero fights.

With Civil War and War Journal thrusting him back into the superhero domain, he becomes a much more accessible character for a website like this.
My appreciation for Punisher has grown over the last few years. As a kid he was never really a character I could get behind. I probably disliked him second only to Nick Fury, who was another gun-toting guy I never really got.

#5 Beast (+50) (new) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [The Lizard]
Win Percentage: [50%] Features: [4]

Rounding out the list is another less likely top-fiver, but a goody no less. For some of the movie-going audience joining us, you'll no doubt have been riveted to learn Beast was not always a blue fuzzball!

The X-Men have only arrived on the site here in the last few months, but I have to say they've been a welcome addition. Things seem pretty quiet around the X-universe, so I wouldn't expect to see the blog taken over by mutants, but interest in diversity might keep a Beast floating around the top.

Super Stock...
1. Batman (-) (DC)
2. Spider-man (-) (M)
7. Superman (-) (DC)
15. Red Hood (+14) (DC)
18. Beast (+37) (M)
19. Sub-mariner (-2) (M)
23. Silver Surfer (-2) (M)
24. Robin (-2) (DC)
51. Doppelganger (-) (M)
52. Moon Knight (new) (M)
53. The Punisher (new) (M)
56. Professor X (-) (M)
66. Tombstone (-16) (M)
67. Angel (+120) (M)
68. Iceman (+120) (M)
69. She-Hulk (-4) (M)
193. Taskmaster (new) (M)
194. Space Phantom (new) (M)
195. Rhino (new) (M)
196. The Lizard (new) (M)
200. Toad (-5) (M)
201. Magneto (-5) (M)
202. Brick (-8) (DC)

The hammer...
And so, there goes another big month of Secret Wars on Infinite Earths!
Finally looking like we might be caught up and running smoothly, despite persisting computer gremlins! With a lot of hits coming in lately, hopefully we'll be able to continue to sustain your readership!

Speaking of hits, gotta throw a shoutout to Rokk's Comic Book Revolution!
A great review blog I came across recently who've been kind enough to be among the select few super-sites to link to Secret Earths! Clearly a genius blog, indeed.

In other business, as much as it gives me diahorrea to do so, I've got make an amendment to a previous post. In the December Punch-Up we featured a fight between Venom and Spider-man in Beyond! #1.
I've since been informed that this character was not Spider-man, but rather the Space Phantom masquerading as the hero. So, as you may have noticed in the top five, Spidey's win percentage is readjusted and the Space Phantom joins the Secret Earths super stock race! Apologies to any perturbed by this misinformation, particularly those of you pregnant with Skrull babies.

You'll have noticed a distinct slant toward 2007 in the most recent posts.
This is in part due to the fact that I got a whopping big stack of comics for a late Christmas, but also because all the cool blogs either review new comics.
The interest of diversity will kick in, and no doubt you'll see more [not so-] classic comics thrown back into the mix, but for the time being, enjoy being contemporary!

Since we're trying to be a bit more free flowing these days I can't tell you what's coming up, but I've been looking at a lot of fun reads lately, so I imagine we might have some Deadpool and maybe some more Beyond in our future.
Even though I've actually been reading some great DC [like Checkmate], it looks like it's still going to be tilting toward Marvel for a while. Sorry about that guys, but hopefully for you DC fans, I'll have some especially strong reviews there. Possibly a look back at a classic we featured around this time last year.

I should make a point of referring to my own comics work. My pencilling collaborator Pedro, and I, are inching ever closer to printing the first issue of the series Kirby Martin Inquest. Don't visit Nite Lite Theatre just yet, because I have a lot of updating to get to, but I'll be directing all my fellow comics fans there as soon as possible.
Pedro and I have also been discussing some other possible projects, that is, if Grant Morrison can stop stealing my ideas for more than a day.

Also, I should put an end to rumors that I'm involved with any upcoming movies starring The Shadow. Actually, that isn't a rumor, but I'm hoping maybe I can get that out there...

As always, please feel encouraged to drop a comment or a question or a request or something. We're supposed to be one of the more friendly blogs around, even if I scare most of you away with excessively long posts filled with aliterations.

Thanks for sticking with Secret Earths, and stay tuned folks!

January Hit Count: 3947* (+567)

* Hit count was recorded February 1. Hits for January posts may be reflected in the February count.

THE X-MEN versus THE LIZARD
The Bird, the Beast and the Lizard (Marvel comics)
Where: X-Men: First Class #2 When: Decmber 2006
Why: Jeff Parker How: Roger Cruz

The story so far...
Promised a vacation from their troubles, Professor Xavier diverts the trip home to Florida, where he and his X-Men intend to take a relaxing beachside trip to the Worthington holiday home.

Things go awry when the Professor decides to bring his students to visit the home of an old college friend, the biogeneticist, Dr. Curt Conners.

With Conners absent, his wife confides in Xavier and his motley crue of mutants, confessing that he had once more become victim to the lure of genetic experimentation that grants him incredible regenerative healing capabilities -- but also turns him into a human-Lizard.

While the rest of the team lounge on the beach, budding scientist Hank McCoy (the Beast) and Angel set out to catch a Lizard, but will it be they who become prey in the swampy everglades?...

Previous Form:
Beast (#56): Beast has had mixed results, getting physical with Namor and Xorn.
The X-Men: This incarnation of the X-Men, including Beast, Angel & Iceman; was unsuccessful in battle against both Sub-Mariner and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.
The Lizard: Lizard has not yet been featured.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Lizard 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Lizard 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Lizard 4 (Trained Athlete)
Agility: Iceman 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting Ability: Iceman 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Iceman 2 (Projectile Weapons)

Well, it certainly isn't everyday you have The Lizard up against a trio of X-Men!

The Lizard's an interesting character who tends to fluctuate between the very heights of superpowered menace, and the more average levels of phyiscal menace. As you can see above, we rate him at a five, which is equal to that of the Beast's general strength level, but perhaps with a little bit more ferocity behind it.

Still, that at least reveals a potential blockade for the Lizard's attempts to strongarm his X-opponents. Which, as often is the case, brings us to suppose how this brute might articulate his strength to be advantageous.

As Dr. Curt Conners his intelligence would rival that of Hank McCoy, Beast, but as the Lizard he suffers the usual 'animalistic' regression we see in characters like this. Not that this makes him a total loss in the brains department.
Rather than juggling figures and compound structures, Conners' brainpower redirects it's agility to the art of war, making The Lizard a deadly strategist capable of harnessing the advantages of his surroundings.

The X-Men are trained to deal with this kind of thing, and the Angel, if he has any use in the field, is to thwart urban warfare with a bird's eye view.

This particular trio of X-Men has another advantage, but we'll leave that for now to go to the basic advantage here -- that of numerical superiority.
While The Lizard would be quite capable of handling the three X-Men, I think their abilities are suitable to counter, and ultimately overcome the obstacle.

The Math: X-Men (Total) Lizard (Average)
The Pick: The X-Men

What went down...
Feeling a commonality with his fellow biologist, Beast volunteers a convenient segue for him to feature in this particular issue. Somehow Angel also manages to convince everyone it's a good idea that he go into combat with a giant lizard-man.

Setting off into the marsh on a little boat, Beast steers he and Angel through dense wildlife, eventually coming upon harmless alligators. Fortunately, as Beast kindly informs us, they generally don't exert energy in an attack, so they're relatively safe... Or at least, they were, until Beast notices his compadre has disappeared and there's feathers on the water.

Meanwhile, undah dah sea, Angel finds himself in the merciless grip of the amphibious Lizard, who seems intent on dragging the X-Man down.

Beast, having finally clued in, fulfills his dual role on the team as both 'smart guy' and also 'muscle' by diving in and slapping the good Doctor around a bit.

Angel, feeling useless enough as it is, finds himself on the receiving end of Beast's bulky feet as he is kicked upward toward the surface where he attains some assemblage of use.

Meanwhile, Beast grapples with the mighty jaws of the Lizard, struggling to keep his head off the platter.
Though impressively agile, in the drink Lizard's maneuverability proves too great, as he whips around to bring his body down on top of the dextrous mutant.

As he struggles for breath, Beast finds salvation from above! Angel's unwritten storyarc is complete as he comes to the aid of his friend with their gondele style propultion stick! Smack! Straight to the side of The Lizard's head! Angel is redeemed!

Beast resurfaces for air as Angel finds himself back in hot water, the Lizard using his mighty crocodilian jaws to snap their stick like a twig.

In the boat, Beast catches the end of Angel's wing and yanks him out of the water, so that he might live to fight miserably another day. Oh, I joke because I love.
Angel proves his worth once more [despite my ribbing] by carrying Beast to safety, away from the rickety vulnerability of a boat that Lizard could no doubt destroy with ease. Leaving the X-Men to ponder the home advantage provided by the bayou.

As Beast monkey-swings his way through the trees, Professor X pops in for a psychic chat. This proves to be sufficient enough distraction for the Lizard to emerge from the murky depths, and attach himself to Beast's mighty leg by way of his teeth.

Angel grabs hold of Lizard's tail, looking for a means to aid his buddy. Finally Angel is able to drag the fight by the tail to his domain. The skybound Lizard struggles until finally he makes the call we all face at some time -- he bites his own tail off!

[Having become the Lizard in an effort to regrow a lost arm, Doc Conners has the convenient reptilian ability to regrow lost apendages, so this is nothing to worry about.]

Lizard plops back into the swampy water, where Angel and Beast have little chance of finding him again. So, Beast devises a strategy to use Lizard's own bleeding tail-end as bait to lure him in to a special little trap secretly orchestrated with Prof X.

Detecting the oozing green trail left by Angel, Lizard reemerges, taking hot pirsuit after the duo. Lizard gets awfully close to his prey, snapping at the feathers of Angel's wings, before rounding the corner toward his everglades home where Iceman and Professor X wait.

Using his mutant gifts, Iceman cooks up enough ice in the water to produce a hazing snow as Lizard catches up with Beast.
As the temperature lowers further, the cold-blooded flaws of the Lizard make themselves present as he becomes unable to function.

With Lizard's maw frozen wide, Beast is easily able to pour the transformative cure into his gullet. Thus, Curt Conners is saved once more... Until the next time he has the overwhelming urge to get his arm back, and inadvertantly become a snarling man-beast...

Yeah... Well, at least we learned the benefit of teamwork.

The hammer...
And so; Beast, Iceman, and yes, even Angel emerge victorious against the lethal Lizard!
[With the assist from Professor X, I might add. - Mike]

Secret Wars on Infinite Earts has a few mission objectives, and sometimes they get a little lost amongst the flying fists and snarling teeth. One of those is to present a friendly entry point into enjoying comics, and I've had the pleasure of talking to various visitors who are casually acquainted with the characters and stories depicted here.

One of the other more base objectives is to map out a ;andscape of who might be the ultimate fighter in comics. Done not through speculation, but rather on their own terms, through issues just like this.
The Lizard is the last foe you would ever list when compiling a catalogue of would-be foes for the X-Men, but here it is in full colour, and it's glorious!

Speaking of glorious, how about that cover art by Marko Djurdjevic?
Gotta admit, after a cover like that, a guy can really be disappointed by more conventional interior artwork. I believe he's been doing cover work on the new Super Villain Team-Up series upcoming, and that too is glorious.
You'll notice a couple of our mugshots (including the above Iceman) are taken from these X-Men: First Class covers. They're fantastic!

Meanwhile, you might be interested in the series itself.
For those who don't know, First Class pertains to the original group of X-Men, rather than any indication of quality. 'Lost Years' books are really a dime a dozen, and efforts to squeeze stories in-between the historical canon can be a pretty messy business. One tends to believe efforts could be better utilized trying to propel properties forward, rather than lingering in the past.

Likewise, a book like this starts to look a little redundant in a world where youngsters have an in through Marvel Adventures: X-Men or even Ultimate X-Men. Although, these sorts of titles have generally failed even in times before those kinds of on-going options were available, so what's the point?

As an eight issue mini-series, First Class should be able to justify itself, but having read two of the eight issues, they lack the collective intent a strong mini-series should have. While there may be a unifying twist at the end of number eight, these early issues show no indication of such, which does not service such an outcome.

These reads are fun. You could not take away from that at all.
It's a thrill to see the X-Men of the sixties fighting other sixties allumnists like The Lizard, or teaming up with Thor and Dr. Strange. It's just a shame that it's done under such dubiously planned circumstances.

The artwork is less than stellar, and actually, it kinda harkens to what you expect from the Adventures line of titles. Though, it certainly isn't what I'd call poor. And whoever came up with the new take on the sixties designs has done a great job, although, by it's nature this just makes this book an even more confusing riddle of logic.

If you're new to the X-Men, it might be a nice way to become acquainted with the guys who were there in the very beginning (and meet the pre-fur Beast), but even the most nostalgic long-time readers probably won't get a lot out of this.

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4

THE PUNISHER versus RHINO
How I Won the War Part 3: Mutually Assured Destruction (Marvel comics)
Where: Punisher War Journal #3 When: March 2007
Why: Matt Fraction How: Ariel Olivetti

The story so far...
The Punisher is back in the thick of things, and he's ready to bust some face of super villain scum once more.

Under the care of Stuart Clarke, Punisher recovers from the severe beating Punisher received at the hands of Captain America, after he shot two unarmed villains sympathetic to the anti-hero registration act.

Conscious after four days of recovery, Frank Castle finds himself held up in a SHIELD armory with a slew of weapons an intelligence at his disposal. Intelligence that points directly toward the hideouts and movements of criminals throughout the city. First top -- Rhino's place...

Previous Form:
The Punisher: Punisher has not yet been featured.
Rhino: Rhino has not yet been featured.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Rhino 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Punisher 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Rhino 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Rhino 5 (Marathon Runner)
Agility: Punisher 2 (Average Human)
Fighting Ability: Punisher 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Punisher 4 (Arsenal)

Punisher is a half-crazed Vietnam vet with an uncanny knack for getting hold of copious amounts of weaponry and corresponding ammunition.

Rhino is a really big guy trapped in a super hi-tech suit that gives him strength and stamina enough to go toe-to-toe with the Hulk or even the Juggernaut.

This really is about as open and shut as it gets, folks.

Of course, we all know that these sorts of scenarios have their flipsides no matter how much they defy logic. The key to victory for The Punisher is that innate ability to come up with some big-time weaponry.
An elephant gun might not quite get the job done against the super-hide of the Rhino, but you can bet your bottom dollar that SHIELD has something cooked up especially for Rhino. Not to mention the high grade super-weaponry other organizations in the Marvel Universe probably have. It's not like Rhino's the only level 6 going around.

The overwhelming advantage is in the fact that Rhino can withstand most punishment long enough to potentially make a knock-out charge. Not that that really happens all that often... Certainly not these days. Actually, the guy's become something of a joke, really... Hmmm... I blame poachers.

Poachers and Ralph Macchio.
Not the karate kid, the editor.

The Math: The Punisher (Champion Class)
The Pick: Rhino

What went down...
Having used the SHIELD intelligence to track the Rhino to a warehouse hideout, Punisher makes the tactical decision to burn the place down before announcing his arrival.

When the rampaging Rhino heads out for answers, Punisher is well prepared with a super lightweight SHIELD cannon designed to be as light as plastic.

Rhino takes the heat point blank, sustaining damage to the suit as he's hurled backward through a solid concrete wall.

Lying amidst the rubble and carnage, he has the misfortune of knowing his fate before it happens. The Punisher dons a read glove dubbed the "Satan CLaw," which grants him power of the punch enough to physically send Rhino hurtling through yet another wall, out into the street at large.

With the road turn up beneath him, rolled like a carpet, Rhino remains dumbfounded by the attack. Punisher tells him to stay down, and given the beat down Rhino doesn't have much choice in the matter.

On his ass, Rhino asks his attacker his identity, and with the smoking rubble behind him, Frank Castle invites the Rhino to take a close look himself.
The giant death's head emblem dawns on Rhino, and although he thought him dead, he realises he has been felled by The Punisher.

Castle gets up nice and close all up in Rhino's grille and makes clear and sure that he'll tell all the other super-criminals on the streets to reset their clocks -- because The Punisher is alive and well, and back to destroy the super villains of the Marvel Universe.

I like to try to keep this a family website, but... Fuck yeah~!

The hammer...
The Punisher debuts on Secret Earths with an unlikely victory over the mountain of muscle that regularly gives Spider-man trouble! And if you don't like it, you can probably kiss his cannon, I imagine...

Interesting to note, and it seems to be an occasional trend, that Rhino seems to have popped up in various titles. He's here, in a new issue of Sensational Spider-man, in the next issue of Cable & Deadpool, and I'm pretty sure I spotted him on the cover of Marvel Adventures Spidey! Interesting!

So, you may have noticed my reluctance to refer to this as The Punisher's return to the Marvel Universe. The powers-that-be, much like many fans, seem to have resigned to the fact that books published under the MAX imprint are all but isolated to their own canon, irregardless of connections to other characters.

Personally, being fond of the MAX Punisher, I like to think it can still work on a level that simply removes Punisher from the super criminal element.
Consider it, after twenty years of dealing with super-crime, a vacation into something that matters. MAX Punisher being the journey of The Punisher into making a real difference to real people, in a way only he can do.

With the Civil War, sure, he felt it necessary to come back to kick the butts of the criminals who were going unchecked because of the hero's in-fighting, but that doesn't mean we need to completely disregard the fantastic stuff going on elsewhere.

Actually, while I can understand the joy of the 'purists,' I'm even kinda disappointed they went back to the more costumed version with the white boots and gloves. I kinda like the evolution to a more subdued, hyper-realistic look to The Punisher. A guy in a trenchcoat and sweatshirt. Why not?

Either way it is pretty sweet having the big P back in the action.
Especially when it involves hardcore action with guys like Stilt-Man and Rhino. That's just really cool. In fact, the only thing that could possibly make this cooler is if the P-man starts dealing with these guys on a more regular basis in strategic combat.

Yes, this brings us back to Winick's Batman, Brubaker's Daredevil, and even my fabled Namor pitch. But tell me it wouldn't be totally bad ass to check The Punisher strategizing in urban warfare against the organized elements of guys like Tombstone, Hammerhead, Sabretooth, Shocker, Deadpool, Bullseye... All these so-called guns for hire, who never seem to actually live up to that role in the world outside of the story listing their appearance in that context.

Of course, if this advice is taken... My Sub-Mariner pitch is totally sunk, so... Y'know... Maybe don't listen to me. At least where The Punisher's concerned.
If you wanna drop the Sub-mariner in that world, then sure. Call me...

Who is Matt Fraction? Well, honestly, I haven't had a lot to do with him prior to this (and I haven't been able to get a hold of Immortal Iron Fist), but it would appear he's the latest talent Marvel have invested in. His previous work must have been decent, because the grooming process has been thrown out the window as he heads up two high-profile projects. And you'd think even friendship could get you only so far where sales are concerned!...

Olivetti? Also someone I've had nothing to do with, but wow!
This presumably CG painted style is something I think we're going to continue to see more and more of in comics, and really, it's not too bad. Olivetti probably holds on to organic motion a little better than an Adi Granov, but there's still room for growth.

A little disappointed that the tussle with Rhino was so brief, and really felt very much tacked on behind flashbacks relating to scenes from the core Civil War book. If it wasn't so dramatic, this would've been relegated to being a quick fix for the Punch-Up. Still, it is forgivable given that the title is War Journal...
I mean, who documents every detail of their day in a journal? You go to the good bits, and the action. Fair enough, guys.

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 5.5

RED HOOD versus BRICK
Seeing Red Part Two: The Buddy System (DC comics)
Where: Green Arrow #70 When: March 2007
Why: Judd Winick How: Scott McDaniel

The story so far...
Jason Todd, former Robin and protege to the Batman, has returned from the dead and isn't in the best frame of mind.
Walking a line between good and evil, Todd assumes the identity that gave birth to The Joker - Red Hood - and begins a lethal war against crime for control.

Danny "Brick" Brickwell arrived on the Star City underworld scene abruptly, and his rise to power was swift.
Though his extraordinary strength and rockhide durability were key to his success, perhaps his greatest tool was intelligence and guile.
It was this that set him apart from the other gangsters of the city.

Red Hood has brought his vendetta to Star City, and sought out Brick with a deal too good for a man of his intelligence to pass up. The only question that remains now, is whether or not he'll survive long enough to propose it...

Previous Form:
Red Hood (#29): Red Hood teamed with Batman to defeat members of The Society.
Brick (#197): Brick has suffered defeat at Green Arrow's hand twice.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Brick 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Red Hood 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Red Hood 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Brick 4 (Trained Athlete)
Agility: Red Hood 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Red Hood 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: Red Hood 2 (Projectile Weapons)

Well, a pretty interesting way to start out the year, I must say.
As a fan and wannabe-writer, I have a great interest and affection for good independent street villains. These guys are arguably two of the best new comers to the scene, and pitting them together is just really interesting. It's not the kind of match-up you'd expect to see.

Anyway, fawning aside, who measures up how?

The most overt advantage here is Brick's rocky exterior which not only makes him invulnerable to fatal wounds from most basic weaponry, but also grants him incredible strength and striking power.

We've seen time and time before how the Batman has been able to overcome overwhelming odds of muscle through strategy and preperation. Victories against Superman, Captain Nazi and Amazo remind us of that.
What's important to recall is not only that Red Hood has had conditioning to approach such obstacles in a likeminded fashion, but is also willing to extend his strategies to incorporate lethal force. Something Batman would never condone.

Thus, in many ways, this makes Red Hood even more dangerous than Batman.

Likewise, Red Hood's acrobatic agility and training in the martial arts put him a level up on Brick, whose school was one of hard knocks. Street wise scuffling may get you to the top of the gang pile, but against guys relying on nothing but skill, your odds start to dwindle.

Certainly it isn't an easy pick-up for Red Hood, but given the difference in experience and style, it's difficult to tip the man-brute that is Brick.

The Math: Red Hood (Champion Class)
The Pick: Red Hood

What went down...
Red Hood shows up on the scene just in the nick of time to mow down his own men, as they threaten to open a can of urban warfare on Brick's ass on a count of a lost shipment of weapons. Foiled, of course, by Green Arrow and Speedy (with a mysteriouso assist from Batman).

Red Hood proposes the notion of Brick helping him with his problem, but when Brick says he isn't interested the helmeted vigilante starts to press his point.

Using his fantastic agility to leap in the path of the hometown advantage, he draws his pistols. Brick shows him just how much he likes that, revealing the hard way how fast he can be.

The crimson cowled one finds himself in the grip of a far more powerful opponent, and unable to breath as he crushes down on his protective helmet.

Reaching for the back of his belt, the Hood produces an explosive grenade which puts distance between he and his potential partner in crime.

Breaking the seal on the helmet, Red Hood reveals the man underneath, still wearing the red domino mask that mirrors his past as a boy wonder.

Red Hood unload a clip of lead in Brick's rocky hide at point blank range, which rocks even his mighty head to the core. Stumbling back, Brick keeps talking, sharing his understanding of the dramatic with a heavy fist that breaks a building wall built with his namesake, as the Red Hood ducks it.

He leaps high into the air, again leaving the Hood to use his speed and agility to narrowly escape certain doom.
The shockwave of Brick's impact rattles Red Hood, but puts enough distance between the two of them to give the smaller of the two opportunity to produce another fantastic gadget.

He fires off a rocket that buries itself into Brick's mighty arm.
With an explosive in his arm and a smiling Red Hood holding a remote detonator, Brick finally stops to reconsider the offer proposed. A deal that will prove mutually beneficial.

The hammer...
Well, even though there's somewhat of a peaceful resolution, I'm going to call this one on points and declare the winner, and king of all the dichotomous gangsters - Red Hood.

If you've been reading Secret Earths for a while, or even tracking back through various links or archives, you'll know there's an invested interest in Judd Winick; or more specifically, his period on the flagship Batman title. [Batman #637, #647, #648]

Something that's been key to my distinct slant toward Marvel titles lately has been the deterioration of my interest in the Bat-titles. Certainly Batman was key to my DC interests this decade, but a shift away from the stoic urban super crime drama of the first half of the 00s, toward retro influenced 'lighter' adventures has curbed my interest.

What's nice about this new storyarc in Green Arrow is that it pays service to Wininck's time on Batman, and continues on the unfolding saga of Red Hood.
The shift in priority of the core Bat-titles meant Red Hood was somewhat lost to the shuffle, reduced to guest-spots in books like Teen Titans, which relied on deviations from his chief objective as displayed in Batman.

Here we are obviously somewhat diverted [to Star City], but Winick is at least able to maintain a consistency of the criminal interactions the Red Hood involves himself with.

Unfortunately Green Arrow remains far less solid as a piece of writing versus the well used issues of Batman. Likewise, Scott McDaniel's overtly cartoony pencils and relaxed inks [by Andy Owens] paint a much less attractive and suitably subdued picture. Which is probably the key difference between he and predecessor, Phil Hester, who, along with Ande Parks, presented a familiarly cartoony look, but with well grounded personal exchange.

Curiously Green Arrow appears to consistently be a touch-and-go title, and while it very much appears to be Judd Winick's stomping grounds, it reads much more B-list than his higher profile work. I don't really have any theories as to why that is, other than perhaps the necessity of editorial decisions forcing Winick to make the decision to cram all his ideas in with immediacy, rather than wait-out the interruption.

Though resembling somthing I'd expect to be more at home in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Brick continues to be an exciting new character in the DC landscape.
As a physical "supervillain" he has an interesting presesnce, but in the vein of the Batman Rogues, he is perhaps most interesting as a character who is capable of astute, almost deadpan understandings of the world in which he operates, and how he can benefit from that.

Though bestowed with extraordinary strength, and a Tombstone-esque theme of resilience, he in many ways reflects real world criminals more accurately.

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4

TOMBSTONE versus SPIDER-MAN
Will (Marvel comics)
Where: Spectacular Spider-man #142 When: September 1988
Why: Gerry Conway How: Sal Buscema

The story so far...
Robbie Robertson has made a name for himself as a stern force for journalism, but his past is catching up with him as he feels the push of the albino gangster - Tombstone.

Unwilling to comply with lies any longer, Robertson prepares a tape detailing his dirty history with the thug, and unsuccessfully confronts Tombstone with a firearm.

The casette recording of Robbertson's full confession becomes the hot potato as Tombstone goes on a rampage to retrieve the evidence. Mary-Jane finds herself terrorized by the criminal, and Peter Parker is his next hit -- unless Spidey can get to him first!

Previous Form:
Tombstone (#50): Tombstone has a solid victory over Spidey's pal, Daredevil.
Spider-man (#2): Spider-man has victories over Kraven the Hunter, and Man-Ape.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Spider-man 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympic Sprinter)
Stamina: Spider-man 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Tombstone 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Tombstone 2 (Projectile Weapons)

Well, what do you know? I get the deficit down to under a month and then run head-long into computer gremlins! What a buzzkill!
These scans were done before afforementioned problems, so you might have to bare with me for a little while after this. Anyway...

We've slapped the tape around these two fellows before, Tombstone beind inducted in combat with Daredevil [Daredevil #90] just over a month ago.
With that in mind, you should well know that Tombstone is a tough customer!

Unlike the situation with Daredevil, Spidey's strength not only matches Tombstone but has the potential to well surpass it in short bursts. Which makes this a slightly less intriguing match-up.
Certainly Tombstone's formidable strength makes him a challenge for Spider-man, but Spidey's strength gives him an edge of execution where his speed and agility are concerned.

The advantages against Tombstone make it a fairly easy pick, but don't let the disrespect of recent years fool ya! Tombstone should be noted for being well capable of playing above his level.

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Meanwhile -- in Atlanta, Spidey stops by a construction site to sit on a girder and wait for Tombstone, having arranged a drop-off of the evidence tape as Peter Parker.

After waiting forty minutes, the elevator finally emerges but Spider-man's spidey-sense warns him of an incoming swinging pulley hook!
Standing on the level above, Tombstone declares how pleased he is Parker 'called' him, and dives down to tackle the web-slinger in mid-air!

Spidey shoots off a webline preventing the two from falling to their doom, but the move gives the suicide-diving Tombstone the edge to swing them into construction matter.

Tombstone grabs a nearby piece of metallic piping and uses it to catch Spider-man by the stomach and swing him around into metal mesh fencing.
With the spider all tangled up, Tombstone continues the punishment, actually working up a sweat as he swings blow after blow down on the hero.

With Spider-man reeling, Tombstone uses the pipe to push him over the edge and then swats him over with a swing that suggests a pretty low handicap!

Tombstone stands triumphant, but as he attempts to survey the devestation, he finds himself unable to spot the expected red and blue stain below. Uh-oh!

With sticky hands, Spider-man swings himself up from the floor below, driving his feet into Tombstone's pasty mug with explosive force.

Tombstone's up quick, but Spider-man continues the return, knocking him down with the proportional strength of a spider to the point where major orthodontal reconstruction is most likely.

The ribs don't miss out though, Spider-man driving his mighty fist deep into the mid-section of the bruising baddie, before swinging through with another right-hook.

Despite the amazing beatdown, somehow Tombstone still manages to rise to his feet once more. Remember kiddies -- Tombstone plays above his level!

As Spider-man professes his superiority, he provokes a wild charging attack from the man in black.
Spidey backs his words up, showing off his speed with a matador side-step that leaves Tombstone eating girder.

In a bizarre moment of pathos, Tombstone reveals a sign of redemption as Spider-man asks, "Why didn't you kill Robbie Robertson when you had the chance?"

Kill Robbie Robertson? How could he? Robbie's his friend.

With the villain out on his feet, Spider-man finishes the job, using his super strength to knock Tombstone straight off the scaffolding!
As Tombstone plummets to his doom, Spider-man plays the good hero, shooting off a line of webbing that jerks his lethal foe back, before dropping him into a truck full of wet cement.

And as Spider-man retrieves the tape he'd dropped during the fight, unbeknownst to either he or Tombstone, Robbie Robertson finishes his complete confession to the press from his hospital bed.

Despite his criminal negligence, Robbie Roberton's family and friends, including his old friend and boss, J. Jonah Jameson, all agree to back him for his courage.
A win for the good guys all around, I'd say...

The hammer...
And Spider-man starts the year off with an impressive victory!

Meanwhile, as I mentioned earlier, I'm not having that kind of Spidey-luck. My decrepid old computer is struggling to come to terms with word processing, let alone the scanning of superhero smackdown -- so once more there may be a slight delay before the next entry.

Rest assured our technicians will be doing their utmost to ensure we beat any stinking pinko into unexplored blog-space. The risks are many, and though our shielding is poor, we have the hearts of champions.

FF analogies aside, I've scored a late-Christmas haul, so at the very least I have some fresh fodder coming our way. Among the battles of brilliance are mostly new stories, but rest assured, they're all checked and approved by Uatu himself.

So, anyway, I was saying during the last time we discussed Tombstone, just how much I have an affection for Sal Buscema's pencils. Well, hopefully you too can at least appreciate some kind of understanding of where I was coming from.
I guess the particularly interesting thing about Herr Buscema is not only his penchant for action, but his incredible human moments.

Amidst the flying bodies, spittle strings and punch explosions, you could lose site of the human element to Sal Buscema's work, but it's undeniably there.
Buscema's contemporary of the time, Kevin Maguire, gets most of the press for his facial expressions, but few artists have the distinctive character that Buscema is able to instill in each mug.

Buscema's Tombstone is Tombstone to me, and if there's any detail I would criticise of Lark's work, it's that is just doesn't look like Buscema. Which is a complaint that is all but impossible and ridiculous to expect to live up to.
There's just something that distinctive about Buscema's work. Likewise, his core cast from JJJ to Robbie to MJ all have a very distinctive and memoral look.

So to the youngsters joining us, if I can get all Cap on your asses, the next time you're gawking slack jawed at the rendered works of David Finch, taste pain at the hands of his better -- Sal Buscema!

And remember kids -- Tombstone plays above his level!

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 5
Note: Mr. Buscema probably doesn't consider himself anyone's better, and I cannot condone the use of 'yo momma' slurs direct toward Mr. Finch. He's a fine young artist who continues to hone his craft.