BATMAN & CATWOMAN versus HARLEY QUINN

Hush Chapter Six: The Opera (DC)
Where: Batman #613 When: May 2003
Why: Jeph Loeb How: Jim Lee

The Story So Far...
A mysterious new threat has insinuated itself into the life of The Batman, turning his world upside down with a single shot that sent him plummeting from the Gotham City skyline to the streets below.

Sustaining dangerous injuries, a barely conscious Bruce Wayne is inspired to direct his butler Alfred to childhood friend Thomas Elliot -- surgeon of considerable renown! The reunion of friends is a medical and social success! So much so, Dr. Elliot invites Bruce Wayne to accompany him to a performance of Pagliacci in the company of Selina Kyle.

Bursting in to hysterics - and out of the Pagliacci wardrobe - Harley Quinn makes a dramatic entrance at the opera! She's there to rob the rich glitterati in attendance, and sets her maniac gaze on the man pulling out a cell phone in the balcony: Thomas Elliot! With the stakes rising rapidly, Bruce and Selina excuse themselves, returning to the stage as their alter-egos: Batman and Catwoman!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Catwoman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Batman 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Harley Quinn 4 (Gymnastic)
Fighting: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy: Batman 4 (Arsenal)


Harley Quinn is Dr. Harleen Quinzel: A former Arkham Asylum psychiatrist whose thesis in the psyche of crime and romance led to an infatuation with The Joker. Surrendering to her mind's darker desires, she dons a black and red harlequin suit, beginning her criminal career as The Joker's favourite girl!

Harley's academic insights and elective madness are underscored by her gymnastic athleticism. Where oversized mallets and guns fail -- acrobatics and agility pick up the slack! Speed and mobility therefore become her greatest skills in a physical mismatch such as a battle with Batman and Catwoman!

At this time, The Bat and The Cat have been made unwitting players in a grand scheme just starting to take shape. They've levelled their on-and-off rooftop antagonism to forge a full blown Gotham City alliance. When Catwoman was able to break from the manipulative influences of Poison Ivy [Batman #611]; Batman was there to assist her -- combating a mind-controlled Superman, as well [Batman #612]!

The longer it goes, the more the alliance turns up the heat on lingering romantic tensions. It's difficult to predict if romance strengthens Batman & Catwoman's partnership - or complicates it! It was playful flirtation in the chase shown in Solo #1, but created emotional volatility in another mind-control episode, involving Batman, in JLA #118! When the pair were at odds, Catwoman was often able to use the tone to get the better of Bats [eg; Batman: The Mad Monk #1].

Social dynamics are another way Harley Quinn could try to level the playing field! She tends to favor a ditzy, madcap approach to a life of crime, but her past as a studied psychiatrist can never be completely discounted. Batman's willingness to collaborate with morally ambiguous characters has introduced a lot of uncharacteristic uncertainty into the situation!

Batman and Catwoman have a famous history on opposite sides of the law. She's even maintained partnerships with Harley Quinn! Of course, that fact is a two-way street! Harley's found common ground with Batman in the past too, even choosing temporary alliances with The Dark Knight over her beloved Joker [eg; Batman #663]!

Of course, when psychology is too much work -- there are always henchman to even the odds! That's the case in this scenario, which finds Harley Quinn attempting to rob the rich at the opera. Will she get away with it? Most of our metrics point towards a no, but lets see exactly how it went down...

The Math: Batman Ranking: Batman (#1)

What Went Down...
Pushed from the balcony by Dr. Thomas Elliot -- Harley Quinn and her masked henchmen open fire at the opera box seats! Elliot sprints to reclaim his stolen mementos, while Selina Kyle and Dr. Leslie Thompkins take cover. The other man in attendance - Bruce Wayne - has already left to change for Act II!

The Batman glides toward the stage with wing-like cape fully outstretched! It provides a target for Harley Quinn, who wildly opens fire upon the descending figure -- hitting only the garb trailing behind him!

As he nears the stage, Batman tosses an arsenal of flash, smoke and mace grenades! The obscuring fog serves his priority of protecting the audience. His boot: beginning the offensive as it shatters one of the goons' masks on contact!

Machine gunfire sprays across stage-right as the goon recoils from Batman's devastating kick! Making ground, he throws his right leg at another nearby henchman. Batarangs whipped through the haze take down three more!

Confronting the harlequin ringleader: Batman squats to avoid another volley of bullets! This time Harley's aim is true, finding the sandbags dangling above the stage. Her bullets send them tumbling toward a Batman who is already nursing a serious head injury from a previous battle! The blow leaves Batman on his knees - dazed and grappling with the mistake of choosing a lighter cowl.

Harley refers to a partnership with Poison Ivy and a mysterious "script" she's considering deviating from. Somebody wants Batman alive, but the temptation to put a gun barrel to his head is too great. Good thing for him, somebody else wants him alive for altruistic reasons as well!

Catwoman leaps onto the stage - launching a fly kick into Harley's face!

The harlequin of crime tumbles into the set wall with a thud, mumbling about a Robin understudy. Catwoman takes extreme exception - slashing her talons across Harley's face as she rises from the ground. This time she goes through the set - sent smashing by Catwoman's stiff body kick!

Catwoman's claws slash through Harley's jester-like headdress, lopping one of the floppy limbs clean off! Harley uses the close quarters contact to make an escape - darting through Catwoman's legs, before vaulting off backstage boxes onto part of the stage!

With all the agility of her namesake, Catwoman keeps in step in the acrobatic harlequin. Being one step behind is enough to turn the tables, though. Whoever wants Batman alive had no objections to offing his "boy hostage" sidekick, or the "understudy" who's there in his place! Harley opens fire!

Taking a bullet to the shoulder in mid-flight -- Catwoman can't control her descent! She tumbles wildly through the turreted set and spills toward the stage. There, a Dark Knight waits to break her fall.

The audience erupts into applause, marvelling at Batman's ability to catch the woman. It was all just part of the show to them. As blood spills from her mouth, Catwoman chastises her ally for choosing to rescue her instead of catching the bad guy. She passes out as Dr. Thompkins arrives to offer medical aid.

The Hammer...
Batman may be standing by the end of the skirmish, but his hands are full with his wounded partner. Harley Quinn lost her fair share of henchmen, but she clearly got the better of both heroes. A surprise winner? Not exactly...

In the big picture, we're working backwards. Longtime readers of Secret Wars on Infinite Earths (and Issue Index divers) know we've already examined the fall out from this issue.

While Dr. Thompkins is tending to Catwoman's gunshot wound, Batman is chasing Harley Quinn. This leads him to run into The Joker in an opera back alley: A final page sting that sets up their showdown in Batman #614! All of the players from today's feature fight find their way into that alley - Catwoman included. Follow the link to see how it all went down!

Hush has been a recurring touchstone throughout the life of Secret Wars on Infinite Earths. I'm reluctant to hold the story up in high esteem, but I cannot deny its staying power as an encapsulation of the basic Batman experience.

At the time, it was a re-energizing experience for Batman comics. A back to basics approach that seemed to empower the vision of a quality creative team over broad editorial mandates. Large scale "event" crossovers like No Man's Land had started to overwhelmed the outward impression of what Batman comics were about. As a 12 issue story, Hush was very much a precursor to the overbearing "event" comics steering the past few years - but by containing it within one on-going series, with a simple objective, it felt ironically refreshing.

The appointment of Jeph Loeb as writer really struck a powerful chord! His past work with Tim Sale had been a well crafted revelation - giving us two landmark maxi-series in the Batman canon. The thought that this quality approach might entrench itself firmly within monthly continuity was an exciting prospect!

Of course, the much anticipated return of Jim Lee as a mainstream superhero penciller created a lot of buzz! His approach to rendering characters drew favorably from an iconic past, infusing it with a strong modern sensibility. Previews of his character designs were a tasty entrée! This may have been Lee at his very best. His work was more sharply focused on storytelling, and an intelligent, modern-definitive approach to character design that was permeating superhero comics in the early 2000s. A seemingly writer-driven focus on ideas, without the excesses of unmotivated visual spectacle.

Unfortunately, Hush didn't hit the storytelling highs of the Sale collaborations.

Like The Long Halloween and Dark Victory before it, the story undertakes a twelve issue tour through Batman's rogues gallery. A selection of Gotham villainy, effected together as a concurrent gauntlet with an overarching mystery.

I don't have any real complaints about the basic premise, but it may have been strained by a third go around, impacted by different concerns for where the characters are coming from, and going to. The Sale stories took advantage of the changing of the guard in Gotham's criminal underworld - the rise of the so-called "freaks" to take the city away from old families and mobs. More reactions than Hush, where the rogues are puppets in a more broad plot.

The guessing game of who's manipulating events against Batman certainly isn't as compelling or veiled as The Holiday Killer mysteries. This could be excused for what seems to be a different intent: The creation of a new arch-villain.

Fortunately, the story always has the gauntlet to fall back on, and it's hard not to enjoy an adventure through the super-villains. It slightly overwhelms Batman #613, but giving Harley Quinn a spotlight is certainly a fun prelude to the main event entrance of Joker in the next issue.

Harley Quinn is ultimately the reason we're all here. August on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is all about the stars of the Suicide Squad movie - now in theatres! Margot Robbie stars as Harley Quinn - one of our recent Heroes of the Week, and today's feature fight winner!

If you'd like to find more pieces of the Hush puzzle, more Harley Quinn, or more of the Suicide Squad characters - check out the Issue Index Archive! If you're ready to read the whole story yourself, take advantage of the Amazon purchase link provided for your convenience! Doing so helps support the site, as well!

Stay tuned for the next Friday Night Fights, which is sure to be an enchanting interlude!

Winner: Harley Quinn
#104 (+224) Harley Quinn
#1 (--) Batman
#30 (-1) Catwoman

BATMAN versus JOKER
Hush Chapter Seven: The Joke (DC)
Where: Batman #614 When: June 2003
Why: Jeph Loeb How: Jim Lee

The Story So Far...
When a child heir is kidnapped by Killer Croc the seeds of a plot to undo Gotham City's dark knight protector become unwittingly revealed. Batman's greatest villains are about to be manipulated by an unknown assailant, whose war of strategy against the hero proves deeply personal.

The next chapter in Batman's struggle emerges in the unlikliest of venues, during a night at the opera in the company of friends; Selina Kyle, Dr. Thomas Elliot, and Dr. Leslie Thompkins. When Dr. Elliot resists Harley Quinn's attempts to loot the crowd of their valuables, including a jade ring given to him by his deceased mother, he directs the attentions of the villain's gang on their balcony seats.

While Elliot pursues his heirloom; Wayne and Kyle emerged in their costumed alter-egos as Batman and Catwoman. Their battle with Harley Quinn earns the applause of the crowd, but when Batman tracks the fleeing villainess, he enters the alleys behind the theatre to find his arch-nemesis, the Joker, squatting over the gunshot inflicted body of his childhood best-friend, Thomas Elliot.

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Draw 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Power: Batman 4 (Arsenal)


- After witnessing the street murder of his parents, the young Bruce Wayne's destiny was forever shaped to be one dedicated to an ideal. Having spent his formative years studying the various sciences, martial arts, and crime fighting techniques, Bruce is ultimately inspired to become the one-man war on the criminal element in Gotham City: Batman.

Perhaps Batman's greatest power is the millions inherited from his industrialist parents, and the various facilities that came with that. They prove crucial in the design and construction of his many weapons, which are typically non-lethal, and have a variety of uses.

Complimented by his keenly strategic mind is Batman's expertise in the martial arts. He is extensively trained in multiple fighting styles, and commonly regarded to be one of the greatest hand-to-hand fighters in the world. He is also extremely proficient in general urban warfare.

- It has been claimed that he was the victim of one very bad day, which ended with a fall into a vat of chemicals that bleached his skin, dyed his hair, and twisted his face into a permanent grin. The truth of his name and origins remain unknown, but as the Joker, he is one of the most feared killers in Gotham City.

Joker is known to have an aptitude for creating and working with toxins and other chemicals, favouring trademark concoctions that induce uncontrolled laughter, facial distortion, and often, death. Joker is also a proficient strategist, who is said to regularly reinvent his identity as a part of his vendetta against Batman.
The Joker, though not a skilled fighter, is shown to have an inhuman capacity for pain tolerance and recovery.

Additional: While Batman has one of the most impressive lists of nemesis, few characters reach the status of Joker as his arch-villain. Joker's rivalry with Batman has arguably produced the definitive vision of the classic comic book supervillain, defined by; false deaths, personal attacks (deaths), trap and baits, and a continuing relationship unlikely to be resolved.

Joker's unpredictability often means Batman is forced into a responsive position. The Dark Knight's dedication to non-lethal justice is the means by which Joker maintains his villainous presence, with an uncanny knack for escape.
Despite their continuous rivalry, it is Batman who has a distinct advantage over Joker in physical confrontations, and regularly dishes out defeat accordingly. [Examples include; Detective Comics #781 and Batman #663].

History: Batman (2-0-0)
Math: Batman Ranking: Batman (#2)

What Went Down...
He knows the moment he sees him, that Dr. Thomas Elliot is already dead.
Enraged; Batman's mind opens to decades of death and violence, filling his fists with a vengeance that recalls the Joker's crimes against Barbara Gordon, Sarah Essen, Jason Todd, and the many nameless victims who've suffered.

The Dark Knight is unsympathetic to Joker's objections. His fists spray the blood of the clown prince with an uncharacteristic ferocity, bordering dangerously on what seems like a total loss of control, but the Batman is in control.

He pummels the Joker with a barrage of expert punches, each more devestating than the last, and unanswered by the weedy killer. For every uppercut, cross, and hook, the Joker pleads with Batman, through broken teeth and blood.

Unable to stand any longer, Joker buckles under the raging bull that is the Batman. With his enemy floored, Batman pins him down and wraps his powerful hands around the spindly neck of the chalkfaced killer. With a twisted grin, the Joker whispers his innocence to a Batman, stone faced.

The Joker's partner in crime, Harley Quinn, lurks into the alley from the nearby theatre exit. Wielding an oversized mallet, she and Joker lock eyes to hatch an unspoken ambush, but the Batman is more than prepared. He rolls to the side, allowing Quinn to clobber the Joker with with her weapon.

Batman sends Harley Quinn hurtling across the alley with a stiff kick, before returning his stoic attentions to the Joker, who continues to deny responsibility for the death of Thomas Elliot. Batman slams him against a wall, only to feel a whip wrap around his neck to jerk him away.

Catwoman, injured in the previous battle with Harley Quinn and her goons, does her best to pull the weight of the Batman away from Joker. Having developed a romantic relationship with the dark knight, Catwoman offers up her bitter intent to do everything she can to prevent the raging Batman from commiting acts regrettable. Despite their closeness, her words fall on deaf ears.

Batman yanks Catwoman toward him by the length of her whip, but the lithe vixen is able to use her momentum to slash the Bat across the chest with claws in her gloves. She emplores Batman to consider what he'd do if the roles were reversed, but the silent dark knight is submerged in regreat, recalling the death of Jason Todd, a milestone that has informed his every decision since.

Intent on punishing the Joker for his constant crimes, Batman takes advantage of Catwoman's wound, putting her down with a simple palm strike. He rests her gently out of harms way and thinks about how easily he could lose her, too.
With the image of her broken body in his mind, Batman makes his decision: "He dies tonight by my hand."

Attempting to flee, Joker is quickly engulfed in the shadow of the bat.
Batman pins him to the ground once more, allowing only screams of terror to escape from beneath the canopy of his long dark cape.

An authorative voice echoes through the rain, firing shots into the alley that clip the Batman's arm and cowl. "Stand up and put your hands in the air. The next shot, I WILL drop you." The descending voice of reason holds a gun to the back of the Batman's head and tries to remind him of the virtues that have prevented his descent into the madness that he combats. He is Jim Gordon, former GCPD commissioner, and lifelong ally of the Batman.

Gordon compells Batman to think, only to reach the chilling realisation that he has thought about his actions. As if resigned to the Batman's will Gordon makes a final empassioned speech, declaring the thin line that seperates the Gotham vigilante from costumed killers like the Joker. He is successful in finally talking the Batman down, but not relieving his sense of responsibility.

The Hammer...
Successful in overcoming Joker, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman - your winner and new Infinite Wars champion -- Batman!

That's right! After slipping from the top of our cumulative rankings some sixteen months ago; July's 'Dark Knight-sponsored entries have seen the original number one return to the top! Six months of the Spider-Boycott hasn't hurt the Bat-cause, but does this mean a return to the Season 2006 dominance of Batman? Stay tuned to Super Stock updates (and tape stats) to watch as the drama of the rankings resumes!

With the first appearance of the Joker arriving in 1940's Batman #1; the feud between the dark knight and his clowning arch-rival has become one of the most storied battles in comics. It's a relationship that has spawned an empire of cross media success, including a second feature film outing in this month's The Dark Knight; starring Christian Bale and the late Heath Ledger in the respective roles.

Directly inspired by the adventures of pulp fiction and serial films of the 1940's; the Batman's trials began with bashful confrontations against fairly standard criminals. It was, however, the emergence of macabre characters like the Joker who gave birth to the arch-nemesis as we know it today, not as an evasive foe, but as a supporting character within the genre.

Customary of grim tales of the time was the concluding death of an evil-doer, but for Bill Finger and Bob Kane, this proved merely an obstacle through which they would create a standard. This desire to revisit colourful and memorable villains quite immediately created a situation now regarded with chagrin by many fans of the modern industry -- the false death.

Joker's many murderous returns from near-death situations made his duel with Batman a veritable archetype of the genre, culminating in less permanent solves, like Arkham Asylum, which first appeared under the pen of Denny O'Neal during the grim and gritty period of the seventies and eighties. As his criminal acts became increasingly horrific, the plausibility of Joker's constant return and escape from Arkham created new questions, which arguably remain unsolved.

In reviewing the confrontation in Batman #614, I wanted to look at a question that's probably going to be as relevant to longterm diehards as it is to relative neophytes who've just seen the film: Why doesn't Batman just kill the Joker?

As with Batman, the Joker has gone through many iterations, but the question rests at least on the implication of a Joker who is sufficiently lethal. I tend to think it's modern interpretations that justify the question the best, as Batman delves deeper into increasingly subdued settings, and faces plausible evils.

Because of these many interpretations [and the history just recapped to a questionable quality] it's very difficult to attribute any single reason for the Batman's restraint, and in the context of Joker, Jeph Loeb explores this lethal imperative on the terms of their longstanding relationship.

Quite suitably, the Christopher Nolan films have made quite a good effort to present both sides of the argument. It was Batman Begins that helped distill the character's motivations as they had become through the benefit of decades of refining, presenting a clearer depiction of Bruce Wayne as a man attempting to create an incorruptable symbollic structure for good.

[Christian] Bale's Batman defines himself by these broad ideals, benefitting from a slightly more balance psyche than popular interpretations of the comic book Dark Knight. In the four-colour medium the character is free to indulge much bigger, more fantastic ideals, where his morality and sense of responsibility becomes the spiral point for the Gotham villains to emerge.

The Dark Knight appears to reinstate a sense of individual, if tangential, motivation in the Joker as an independent entity. He is undeniably attracted to the Batman, but appears as a villain with a proclivity for chaos, and intrinsic homicidal tendencies to be played out en masse.
Bruce Wayne's larger-than-life push to be a force for good, without becoming an executioner, justified Batman in the first film, but the sheer scale of Joker's madness quite realistically reconfirms doubt over Batman's non-lethal tactics.

It's a fairly curious thing.
While off the page the answer might simply be a corporate American ideal to present Batman in the moral company of his superhuman counterparts -- the reality reflect by world law enforcement is an increasingly militant presence, forced in greater number to deal with life and death situations.

Geoff Johns has done well to introduce this concept to the Green Lantern mythology, granting even sometimes war-time pacifist, Hal Jordan, the license to do something previously attributed solely to the vengeance of Parallax.
So, as comics continue to confront the reality of a dark world, why not Batman? Why is the distinction between crippling and maiming sufficient for a man so staunchly against lethal force? I might redirect you to previous discussions about our totem of justice, and ponder the subject for our last Dark Knight Friday, where maybe I'll be ready to discuss the matter with more focus.

Oh, and the punchline? Joker didn't kill Tommy Elliot!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 5.5

If you want to know more about Batman's attempt to kill the Joker; Gordon's intervention; or the secret war waged against the Dark Knight by a new foe - Hush - then you should head over to Amazon and pick up the trades! The top ten selling storyarc is the perfect way for fans of The Dark Knight to initiate themselves into the world of the Batman, as he is forced to tackle some of his greatest foes (and allies) in an effort to uncover the true identity of Hush! If you don't like what you see, but are looking to get your Bat-fix on, then be sure to check out the Amazonian Gift Shoppe for more legends of the dark knight! Collections featuring most issues reviewed in the Secret Archives are available, and by using purchase links provided, you help sponsor the Infinite Wars!

POISON IVY versus CATWOMAN
Hush Chapter Four: The City (DC)
Where: Batman #611 When: March 2003
Why: Jeph Loeb How: Jim Lee

The Story So Far...
When a child heir is kidnapped by Killer Croc; the seeds of a plot to undo Gotham City's dark knight protector become evident. Batman's greatest villains are manipulated by an unknown assailant, whose war of strategy against the hero begins with a break in modus for a Killer Croc mutated beyond his usual condition.

When Catwoman attempts to steal the ransom from Croc's kidnapping; the plot thickens as Batman takes pursuit across the city skyline, only to be cut down by one of his own weapons!
The resulting injuries from his fall bring Bruce Wayne's past into the present, but even as he becomes reacquainted with old friends; the Batman is thrust into a mystery that takes him to Metropolis and into the path of contemporary allies.

Beneath the lights of the city of the future; Batman and Catwoman begin a search for the puppeteer pulling their strings - Poison Ivy - but even as they do, they play into the hands of the true manipulator, and enter into an arena they could not possibly anticipate...

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Catwoman 2 (Average)
Intelligence: Poison Ivy 5 (Professor)
Speed: Catwoman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Catwoman 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Catwoman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Catwoman 4 (Trained)
Energy Power: Poison Ivy 2 (Projectile)


- In her formative years, Pamela Isley was a budding student of botannical biochemstry at a Seattle university. Her introversion made manipulation easy for Dr. Jason Woodrue, a teacher who convinced the shrinking violet to partake in potentially lethal experiments involving botanic toxins.

The betrayal shakes the fragile woman into action, who narrowly escapes death, only to experience a series of personal tragedies. She invests her emotions in environmental issues, discovering an inate ability to converse with, and control, all forms of vegetation.
Using her intimate knowledge of botanic toxins and an unwitting connection with a mystic elemental force known as the Green; Isley settles in Gotham where she becomes the eco-terrorist, Poison Ivy.

To compensate for her limitated combative vocabulary, Ivy relies on the manipulations of more powerful adversaries, and the animation of complex and rare vegetation, to do her battles for her.

- Selina Kyle lives a life on the streets, coming to be known as a notorious thief. Her escapades garner much attention, and eventually force the burglar to lay low, where she continues her career in crime as a dominatrix extracting information from potential victims.

Kyle gains extensive training in the martial arts, and inspired by the mysterious vigilante called Batman, adopts her own leather mask and catsuit ensemble to become Catwoman. As Catwoman, she embarks on a career as an ambiguous entity in the Gotham City landscape. Though regularly acting as a professional burglar and occasional mercenary, Catwoman also comes to be known as a protector of Gotham's East End.

Catwoman is a highly skilled fighter at peak physical condition, with impressive physical strength, agility, and speed. Catwoman also utilizes weapons including a whip, cat o' nine tails variation, and claws contained within her gloves.

Though well known as antagonist of the Batman; Catwoman's moral ambiguities err on the side of good, often resulting in brief alliances (or romance) between the sometimes-enemies.

Math: Catwoman Ranking: Catwoman (#17)

What Went Down...
Having been freed of Poison Ivy's influence; Catwoman plans to track the villain to a safehouse in Metropolis. Batman and she form an alliance amidst romantic tensions, but the fiercely independent Catwoman proves difficult to tame. Only on her terms to the pair later reconvene to devise a plan.

Catwoman descends on the hideout alone, faking the lingering influence of Ivy's poisons. The villainness is not so easily deceived.

Poison Ivy swats the ill-prepared Catwoman with a backhand slap, but the surprise attack garners little advantage. With her ruse uncovered, Catwoman is given license to offer a little payback for manipulations suffered.

Payback takes the form of an unrelenting combination of punches and kicks from the well trained burglar! Ivy quickly finds herself on the ropes, and with a claw to her throat, attempts to bargain with her former-puppet, offering up a share of the ransom she had used Catwoman to steal. The thief remains uncompelled, but the tables are quickly turned...

A branch twists out from the millieu of plantlife adorning the hideout, wrapping itself around Catwoman's neck! Like an anaconda it yanks Ivy's attacker from her body, wrenching it's grip as it lifts Catwoman's flailing body upward.

A batarang flings from the gloom, slicing effortlessly through the animated vine!

Just as the Dark Knight makes his presence known, another hero stirs nearby.
It begins with a thoom and then a krrrkk as the foundations of Ivy's dockside building begin to crumble under the might of Kryptonian strength.
Superman tosses the building aside, wounding Catwoman in the process. With that, he takes Poison Ivy's side, while Batman surveys the carnage.

The Hammer...
I hate to say it, but the double victory goes to surprise entrant Superman, and the lady pulling the strings, Poison Ivy!

This isn't one of the promised July Dark Knight entries, but if we're going to be nearly two weeks behind schedule, I figure it's going to be more worthwhile if we cram in plenty of meat in the sandwich. Indeed, cram we have, as we make a belated acknowledgment of Catwoman's inclusion in Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe.

I have to admit to a bit of a double motive, because, one of these things [pictured right] is not like the other...

We've touched upon it briefly in other entries, but we might as well just take the gloves off and get down to business: Poison Ivy has no business appearing in a beat 'em up video game!

It might surprise the initiated to learn that there's been a surprisingly vocal response to the idea of Poison Ivy appearing in the game. One assumes the shouting minority probably doesn't include many of our regular readers from the DC Nation, because, as we'd all know, Poison Ivy isn't really a fist-fighter.

That's not to say Poison Ivy doesn't have a place in video games, which are, for the most part, centred around the mechanics of a combative exchange. There's a lot of validity to the concept of a plant-manipulating Ivy in a video game, but as we saw in this particular entry, Ivy's MO is to surround herself with quantities of vegetation, or minions bewitched by her toxins. Gamers might instinctively equate these qualities to an adventure/platformer, which seems fair.

I have to admit; I'm the first person to acknowledge a disappointing history in the gameplay of previous Mortal Kombats. 2002's Deadly Alliance led with Tekken-inspired fighting styles applied liberally, but with a fluidity that made it everything it's predecessors (and successors) failed to be.

The jury remains out on whether or not MKvsDC, and it's many incrementalized mini-modes, will be able to salvage the brief reputation garnered by MK:DA. I do, however, feel that recent history of slapping the names of fight styles on-screen emphasises the lingering connection between Mortal Kombat and the martial arts. Early games might have suffered from a serious disconnect due to the homogenous palette of kicks and punches shared across the roster, but the implication was there to be fulfilled.

Poison Ivy not only lacks the requisite fighting abilities that even unrefined brawlers, like Flash and Captain Marvel, bring to the table, but is more specifically characterized by her removal from physical altercation. Few examples come to mind where Ivy has physically opposed her arch-rival, Batman, beyond the delay of a vine-tangled struggle -- which, as we saw in this entry, is usually remedied quite quickly.

I don't expect the descent of reason to interrupt the claims of uninitiated fans clamoring for Poison Ivy in a fighter - but hopefully we can at least contribute context to those interested in researching the names being bandied about.
Suffice to say, I do not expect Poison Ivy to beat out the many characters sure to be cut from the list. If you'd like to know more of those, you should track through our long series of related entries, which can currently be found starting here!

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 5.5

Fresh off The Dark Knight and keen to do some reading? Want to know everything that happens in the big battle of Batman #612? The good news for you is that 2003's Hush is collected in two convenient, affordably priced paperbacks. Better yet, if you use purchase links provided on the Inifinite Wars, you help sponsor future Bat-entries! And hey, looking for more classic Batman stories? Why not browse through the Secret Archives to see what takes your fancy, or scroll over to the Amazonian Gift Shoppe where there are many recommended and reviewed reads on offer! It's all part of the plan!

HUSH versus BATMAN
Hush Chapter Twelve: The End (DC)
Where: Batman #619 When: November 2003
Why: Jeph Loeb How: Jim Lee

The Story So Far...
When a dramatically mutated Killer Croc partakes in the kidnap of a rich man's child; Batman unwittingly enters into a game of manipulation design to break his will, and lead him down a path toward destruction.

Having suffered severe injuries after a fall from a batline, severed by an anonymously thrown batarang; Wayne recalls the name of renowned surgeon, and former childhood friend, Dr. Thomas Elliot. The doctor returns to Gotham to perform the surgery and reacquaint himself with the city and his former friend, but the trip is cut short when the Joker and Harley Quinn raid a stage show. After taking pursuit of the clown prince of crime in an effort to recover a family heirloom; Thomas Elliot is murdered -- or so it seems!

In reality, this is but another chapter in the tale of Hush, the newest villain to enter Batman's murderous rogues gallery! Vengeful over wrongs commited when they were children, Hush has manipulated the heroes and villains of Gotham City in an effort to play Batman for a fool, but even as the dark knight desperately tries to unravel the mystery, the bandaged villain prepares to play his final hand.

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Draw 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Batman 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Power: Batman 4 (Arsenal)


- Born into wealth; Thomas Elliot spent his childhood in loathing of his parents. In an effort to gain independence and control of his family's estate, the child orchestrated a murder plot to sever the brakes on his parent's vehicle, after convincing them to pardon their driver. The horrific accident that ensued would bring the socialittes under the knife of Dr. Thomas Wayne, father to Elliot's best friend, Bruce Wayne. The doctor would fail to save Tommy's father, but leave him a mother to care for.

As Hush; Elliot is soon revealed to be the manipulator whose influence had led Batman to call upon his services as a surgeon when he suffered head injuries from a fall, also part of Hush's plan. Having teamed with The Riddler and an adult Jason Todd; a spiteful Elliot fulfills a lifelong goal of revenge for the Waynes' part in his mother's survival, and the jealousy felt toward Bruce for living the life he wanted.

- After witnessing the street murder of his parents, the young Bruce Wayne's destiny was forever shaped to be one dedicated to an ideal. Having spent his formative years studying the various sciences, martial arts, and crime fighting techniques, Bruce is ultimately inspired to become the one-man war on the criminal element in Gotham City: Batman.

Perhaps Batman's greatest power is the millions inherited from his industrialist parents, and the various facilities that came with that. They prove crucial in the design and construction of his many weapons, which are typically non-lethal, and have a variety of uses.

Complimented by his keenly strategic mind is Batman's expertise in the martial arts. He is extensively trained in multiple fighting styles, and commonly regarded to be one of the greatest hand-to-hand fighters in the world. He is also extremely proficient in general urban warfare.

The Math: Batman Ranking: Batman (#2)

What Went Down...
Revealed to be the man responsible for planting subliminal messaging devices on his computer hardware, Batman's once malformed technical supporter, Harold, drops with two bullets in him. The gunman -- Hush -- a man who has helped orchestrate a string of horrific events and attacks in the life of the Batman.

Alone with the killer on a bridge in the pouring rain, Batman launches himself into action, avoiding further gunfire from his newest nemesis. Perched atop the bridge structure, he returns fire with a handful of batarangs, but like Hush's own ammunition, they fail to make a crucial hit.

Closing in, the dark knight jumps toward the gunman as he counts the final bullets in his round, and unleashes weapons of his own. Hands and feet, trained to kill, and so masterful they need never strike a lethal blow.

A boot and a fist don't stop the marksman, but they reveal the necklace Tommy Elliot was buried with; his mother's. The distraction gives Hush the opportunity to the turn the tables, while Batman continues to analyse every fine detail in an effort to deduce the bandaged man's identity.

Hush makes continued references to Tommy Elliot's childhood with Bruce; facts that plague the dark knight detective as much as the physical blows from the masked man. Hush denies him the opportunity to pull the bandages from his face, impaling Batman's hand with a blade.

Hush challenges Batman to puzzle the reason for their confrontation on the bridge in the rain. Resonance of the night Tommy Elliot's parents crashed their car is not lost on the Batman, but still he refuses to believe the taunting of a masked man, over the facts of his witness to Elliot's death at the hands of Joker.

The two engage in an exchange of acrobatics and fisticuffs, continuning to dance around the specifics of both man's true identity. Hush returns the favour for a punch to the face, and Batman strikes back with a chop to the neck, each blow bringing with it a little piece of the past.

With a kick, Hush puts some distance between he and the wounded Batman, only to reveal the true motivation for his endless machinations: The thwarting of his childhood dream to murder his parents to inherit independence and wealth!

The revelation rocks Batman almost as hard as the bullets that cause the Batmobile to explode behind him, triggering C-4 charges planted during Batman's brief reunion with Harold.

Revealed, the truth floods from Hush like the deluge hitting the bridge.
He compares the struggle of life with his mother, and her slow death to cancer, as tokens that Bruce Wayne was lucky enough not to have. In so many ways, he is revealed to be the anti-thesis to every aspect of the Batman, who now lies badly injured at the villain's feet.

A commanding voice echoes onto the bridge, and from out of the bellowing smoke steps former GCPD commissioner, James Gordon. Implicated in the staged murder of Thomas Elliot, Gordon is accompanied by a man intimately aware of the details of his innocence -- Harvey Dent.

Dent, having had his facial scarring repaired by Elliot as a part of his sinister plot, appears ironically cured of his alter-ego, Two-Face. With clarity and a zealous penchant for justice, he willfully turns his back on his agreement with Hush to take the shot, when Jim Gordon proves unable to fire with Batman at such close proximity.

He doesn't miss.
An appropriate two shots hit Hush in either shoulder, forcing him away from his would-be victim, and off the side of the bridge. Batman does his best to find a body, but even with nightvision technology, he proves unable to find anything in the murky Gotham waters below. Hush lives to strike another day.

The Hammer...
So, for striking the deciding blow, I've got no choice but to call it a victory for Harvey Dent! For fighting valiantly, despite very nearly suffering defeat, Batman picks up the assist, with Jim Gordon sharing in the honor. Valuable info for you Fantasy Fighters out there!

As you might have seen, the Infinite Wars is gearing up for all the hype surrounding the recently announced, Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe video game, set to be released in the fall. The unlikely crossover pits the fighting kombatants against DC's icons in a story featuring contributions from Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, as well as series co-creator, Ed Boon, and the rest of the MK team.

Since Batman is bound to be at the forefront of the DC movement, I wanted to throw a feature up here that at least touched on his capacity to exist in this environment. With the announcement of the game, it seems the two camps have quickly devolved into violent distain over the dimished degree of violence, and utter bemusement, for those comic fans disinterested in the gimmick-laden fighting property. It seems all perspective has gone out the window, so hopefully the Infinite Wars can become a middle ground for both groups.

If you haven't already seen them, you might like to check out the first of our weekly rundowns of potential match-ups between the two brands [Fantasy Fights: Round 1], as well as a C2C flashback to previous entries touching on some of the characters and action you might be seeing in the game.

With the benefit of hindsight, I can see it might have been better to go with a scenario more flattering to Batman, but then, I think the grim tone of the issue is probably good for MK fans to see.

Hush was a twelve-issue storyarc with a lot of momentum. Written by Jeph Loeb, the man behind stories vital to inspiring the movies; The Long Halloween and Dark Victory; it promised another year-long romp through Gotham City, with the introdution of a brand new villain, sure to menace Batman far into the future, should he survive that long!

Batman: Hush also brought superstar artist, Jim Lee, back to the drawing board, after taking an active interest in less involved responsibilities with Wildstorm Comics (bought-out and assimilated by DC comics, as it so happened).

Despite mixed reactions to the conclusion of the story, which effectively resolved the year-long mystery with a reveal described by many as anti-climactic and heavy handed, given the first-appearance introduction of Tommy Elliot (Hush) at the beginning of the story. So disappointing was this fact, it nearly dwarfed Elliot's partnership with the Riddler, and the shock implication of the dead Robin's resurrection; later confirmed under writer, Judd Winick.

Fans of the comics might be surprised to learn of scepticism from the Mortal Kombat fans for DC's ability to assimilate into their gothic world of interdimensional mayhem, infernal resurrections, and frivilous ninjary.
Much of this has been sparked by the announcement of a T rating, and the first time a Mortal Kombat game will be released without their trademarked finishing system of gory, over-the-top slayings -- fatalities.

MK's penchant for gore has earned the series it's fair share of infamy. Often viewed as little more than a distraction for a teen demographic overlooking the technical flaws of the series; I tend to think of fatal violence as an expendable trademark of the series. I'm much more interested in the characters and story of the MK universe, which are obviously arenas the DC universe is more than ready to match them in.

The balance of power has been another keenly debated topic.
I probably could've done better to showcase Batman's ability to battle foes far more powerful than he. On the Infinite Wars alone we've been routinely privvy to successful matches against the likes of; Gorilla Grodd, Dr. Light, Killer Croc, Superman, Amazo, Captain Nazi, killer robots, murderous cults, et al.

Likewise, confusion at the other end of the scale has caused a glitch in the suspension of disbelief. The unfortunately common misconception that Superman somehow dwarfs all other superheroes, and is therefore a terminally flawed character, is the result of a lot of supposition, and the phenomenon of internet chinese-whispers. A lot of unconfident and uncertain fans have latched onto this belief, but in reality, it simply isn't true. The Infinite Wars, a site dedicated to tracking heroic defeat and victory, rates Superman at only a 54% win-rate, highlighting the potential fallibility of the character, at least on a fight-by-fight basis.

This argument is also quickly quashed by the prominent existence of playable characters, like Raiden; who is a god and already existant in-game on the precipice of suspended disbelief. Likewise, even the already confirmed Sub-Zero is more than capable of freezing his opponents (ala; Mr. Freeze) to take fatal victory in an instant if not for the competitive mechanics of a video game.
Unfamiliarity shouldn't be left to cloud common sense and precedent for what might be a conceptually flawed compromise between two companies, but otherwise works, strictly based on fundamentals.

Ironically, I don't want to come off too supportive.
I personally regard the game a misstep for a series that promised to step into the arena of the next generation of gaming with a newly rebuilt fight mechanic, and a fresh slate. While it's fair to say everything vaguely promised has been delivered, the implication of losing many mainstay characters suggested something far more immersive for fans awaiting a conclusion to the last game's apocalyptice endings. Though story shouldn't be short with Palmiotti and Gray contributing to a split mode revealing perspectives from both franchises, the longterm viability of referencing crossovers with licensed properties is always unlikely -- effectively rendering this a prolonged interruption in the MK saga.

For me, it comes down to context, and the looming threat of homogenization that was talked about during our last Street Fighter entry [Street Fighter Alpha Vol.1]. DC, notorious for it's sub-par video games, is presumably attempting to extend the reaches of it's branding, while also improving it's stock in the gaming genre. On the flipside, MK benefits from similar expansion of an already incestuous fanbase, with far more expansive mainstream connotations.

I'm interested! With the dust settled, there's no doubting that this is the game that has my attentions as of this moment! That just doesn't distract from the fact that the MK design team have outstanding debts with dedicated fans, and as games gradually become increasingly detached from their brands, MK runs the risk of joining the trend having not yet established it's footing in this generation.
Will it be sloppy seconds for companies classically chasing their more successful counterparts, Marvel and Capcom, or is this the beginning of a turnaround for both? We've touched upon just some of the issues that are sure to be talking points on the Infinite Wars for the next few months! All you MK/DC fans should make sure to stay with us as we count down to the game every Monday with more fantasy match-ups: PLUS! This weekend, a special look at fatalities!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 6

Not the greatest reveal in the history of comics, but definitely a much better read without the baggage of monthly release, and a year's worth of anticipation. Though not showed off to it's fullest, Loeb and Lee choreograph a fantastic fight scene, despite much of the battle keeping Hush at arms length! If you're looking to get better acquainted with the dark knight and some of the movers and shakers in Gotham City, Hush is a great place in history to start! You can get the whole story in two convenient volumes from Amazon! Amazon not only offer great prices, but by using purchases links provided here, or in the Infinite Wars Amazonian Gift Shoppe, you help sponsor future melees in the Infinite Wars!

MOLEMAN versus FANTASTIC FOUR
Repercussions (Marvel)
Where: Fantastic Four #2 When: December 1996
Why: Jim Lee & Brandon Choi How: Jim Lee

The story so far...
When battle with the psionic villain Onslaught leaves Earth's mightiest heroes trapped in a pocket dimension; the Fantastic Four and Avengers become destined to relive their past, oblivious to their former lives as heroes.

When a team of phony SHIELD agents commandeer control of the space operation "Excelsior", led by Dr. Reed Richards, he and his team escape imprisonment to launch their space shuttle, designed for interstellar investigation. Their target is a bizarre space anomaly which has garnered the attentions of hidden rival and sponsor of Dr. Richards' plight - Victor Von Doom!

Ill prepared, the team of Richards, Ben Grimm, Susan Storm, and Johnny Storm find themselves overwhelmed by the cosmic energies emitted by the space phenomena, which appears to be a wormhole in space. With insufficient shielding in their prototype ship, the team are bombarded, and crash land on a remote island, where they climb from the wreckage to discover their ship's powersource - the quantum core - about to go nuclear.

Not only that, but as each space explorer discovers the effects of the cosmic radiation, they quickly come to rely upon they find themselves at the mercy of a madman calling himself master of the subterranean realm -- Mole Man!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Thing 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Human Torch 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thing 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Rubber)
Fighting Ability: Invisible Woman 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Human Torch 7 (Cosmic Power)


- Ridiculed for his scientific theory that the Earth was hollow; eccentric and homely scientist-cum-explorer, Harvey Rupert Elder, would embark on his own expiditions to prove the validity of his claims to his dismissive peers.
One such outing would lead him to discover the fabled Monster Island, where he would be partially blinded by an underground deposit of diamonds in a subterranean maze that confirmed his theories.

Rejecting life on the surface, Elder renames himself Moleman, and takes leadership over hordes of creatures dubbed Moloids. Utilizing strange alien technologies, Mole Man uses his armies and machines to lorde over the subterranean realm, and terrorize the surface world. His influence beneath the Earth comes to extend to a great many other underground lifeforms, including the many monstrous creatures that earned Monster Island it's name.

- The Fantastic Four are: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and The Thing.

The original Fantastic Four were exposed to cosmic rays when Reed Richards led the team in a race to beat the Russians to space. Without sufficient preperation time, the shuttle lacked the shielding needed to filter the cosmic radiation, resulting in unique transformations in each member.

Reed Richards, already a potent force given his genius for invention, exploration and theory, gained the ability to stretch and contort his body with limited restriction.

Sue Storm is able to manipulate invisible forcefields to create a variety of objects, typically bubbles, platforms and shields. She is also able to cast a veil of invisibility over herself, others, or objects, and do so in a variety of creative ways.

Johnny Storm is the Human Torch, literally capable of englufing his body in flame. This fire can be projected, reach extreme temperatures, result in blinding light, and produce a wave of heat sufficient to propel his body through the air.

Ben Grimm, better known to the world as the ever lovin' blue-eyed Thing is a rocky bruiser of incredible size, strength and durability. The power of his fists is dwarfed only by the power of his heart, which refuses to quit, even in the face of the greatest adversary.

The Math: Fantastic Four Ranking: Mr. Fantastic (#8)

What Went Down...
Having regrouped after being seperated, the Fantastic Four find themselves face-to-face with the Moleman! Despite the threat it poses to them all, the Mole Man lordes the ruptured Quantum Core as a trinket, mentioned in babblings as a potential offering to "the great one."

The hot headed Johnny Storm is the first to reinitiate conflict, leaping into the air to use his new powers of ignition as the Human Torch. He charges the Moleman, but finds himself victim of a blast from the underground monarch's staff!


Moleman exhibits surprising agility for one of his runtish stature, combining i with well with guile and technology. He laments on the foursome's powers, recognising them not as children of the great one, prompting the consideration of their potential as offerings to the hypothetical pseudo-deity with which he hopes to gain favour.

Moleman again utilizes his staff, tapping it to the ground to excite a mutated lichen fungus capable of both grappling with the youngster, and dousing his flames. With the Torch incapacitated, Moleman leaves his rampaging monsters to continue the fight with the other three.

Two hulking dinosaur-like creatures descend, one of them able to snatch the Thing up in it's jaws before he is able to fight back. Reed Richards comes to his aid, leaping into action with his elastine capabilities, using it to wrap himself multiple times around the legs of each creature.

Sufficiently bound by the bands of Richards' stretch body, the two monsters are meagre victims for the super strength of the rocky Ben Grimm!

With the monsters levelled, Richards begins to hatch a plan of escape for his he and his fellows. He orders Thing to wrench free one of the giant diamonds, used by the underground civilization to perpetuate the ambient glow of filtered light from above.

Richards directs his financer (and fiance) Susan toward the underground cieling, where she is called upon to use her powers of invisibility to project a field that will allow a clear shaft of light from above. Richards is able to deduce this capability from her first encounter with the power, which included projecting transparency to her clothes, as well as her person.

As Susan struggles to maintain focus, the light beams into the cavernous underground, allowing the soon-to-be Mr. Fantastic to reflect it into the diamond held by Thing. the orchestration of teamwork is capped off by the bound Torch, who is at close enough proximity to snatch away the Moleman's protective visor, exposing his sensitive eyes to the explosion of luminosity!

With Moleman and his minions sufficiently distracted, the foursome are able to make their escape thanks to the thing's earth-moving muscles! Their escape tunnel allows even more light into the underground, assuring their getaway.
That is, until another obstacle reveals itself to be waiting outside with a synaptic-scrambler, and a helicarrier to take them into custody...

The Hammer...
Ladies and gentlemen, your Friday night winners, successful as a result of teamwork: the Fantastic Four!

If you're just joining us, you might like to know that we're kicking off a new year of Infinite Wars by giving the 2007 year end top ten characters first bite at the rankings cherry. Since all four of the FF factored into the 2007 top ten, we're going to sum them up with this single entry, allowing us to move onward.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the internet, Bahlactus made his triumphant return to Fridays with the first of a brand new round of FNF's. We spaced last week, but we're well ready to represent, throwing out the FF for cosmic representation!

Speaking of the FF, I finally got to see Rise of the Silver Surfer last weekend, and I've got to be honest: I was pretty darn disappointed. It should be noted that I was not at all impressed with the first film, but felt some of the backlash and the benefit of experience and budget might have allowed for a better outing. Trailers which used the Silver Surfer/Human Torch chase from the film only helped build promise of what had every opportunity to be a fantastic do-over.

Alas, in it's own ways, Rise manages to disappoint all over again.
I actually contemplated the notion of using the film as the basis for this entry, but time and circumstances conspired to reserve my ire for another day, or as is the case, a less direct post. A post that shouldn't afford me opportunity to go into great specifics, but honestly, I find it hard not to.

If for some reason Barbershop and the Taxi remake fooled you into thinking Tim Story was going to be the perfect man for the job, you might have gotten a rude awakening. Then again, somehow I think if you had arrived by that assumption, there's every chance you loved Fantastic Four and it's sequel... Yeeeah...

Not surprisingly the simmering undertones of an agenda to incorporate African-American characters into the WASP world of the FF persists, but I am actually pleased to report that it seems to inadvertently benefit the film. Part of me still isn't entirely convinced by Fishburne's casting as the Silver Surfer, but really, the Matrix star's stoic delivery of lines in that velvety voice are key-perfect for the warm, but distanced portrayal familiar to the Silver Surfer.
Likewise, Andre Braugher seems under developed as the military hardman who plays antagonist to Gruffudd's Reed Richards, but brings a suitable stature to a role that could've easily turned into a clash of brawn versus brain.

Ironically, the criticisms start to rear their head around the more important facets of the movie, like the core cast and plot.

Defying all belief, Dr. Doom is bungled further still, narrowly avoiding what could've been a turn around reminiscent of the Ultimate fixing of the character, instead opting to disregard the negatives of the first film to continue to distance Doom from much of what made him the greatest villain in comics. Any good will earned by solid performances like Evans and Chiklis as the comedically feuding Human Torch and Thing, is completely nullified by the sheer miss of Doom.

Julian McMahon remains thoroughly unlikable, without the balance of intrigue, again leaving that cinematic performance to Darth Vader, who was inspired by the 1960's FF villain. The negatives spiral outward from this point, facilitating the familiar power-stealing plot by downgrading the Silver Surfer's vulnerabilities to be little more than a well placed shove.

Confused fans googling for answers managed to find their way to an Infinite Wars feature [Silver Surfer #107] that sees the Silver Surfer explicitly set the record straight in his own words. The issue reviewed there is ultimately quite insigifnicant in the scheme of comics, only highlighting the many sources available to inspire a device superior to placing all of the Surfer's powers in the board which he controls and manipulates freely.

From there you can get into further minutia, like Susan Storm's arc, which reduces the already hard-to-take-serious Jessica Alba to little more than a whining, selfish, tabloid wife. This is, to my recollection, contrary to the performance that was strong and reflective of the comics character; if a little slanted toward promoting the banner actress over traditional team leader, and far less bankable UK counterpart, Ioan Gruffudd.

If I had one final complaint I simply had to squeeze into a post that isn't even about the film, it would be a double red X for the visual effects.
One of the long recognised constraints on feature versions of the FF and Iron Man was the speculated special effects budget, due mostly to the nature of the characters, and CG-heavy filmmaking, pre-intergration reneissances seen over the past few years.

Given the money presumably saved on practical effects like the Thing suit (which remains less than convincing), and the one hundred and thirty million dollar budget, basic effects shots like Reed Richards stretching, or various green screen backgrounds, should've been far better than they were.

Attacking the CG department is also a convenient way to round out criticisms of design and concept of Galactus. Story defends the decision as considerate to plans for a Silver Surfer spin-off feature that he would not be directly involved with. [Story] explains the vague depiction of Galactus as opportunity for another director to put his stamp on what's required. Ultimately, the intrusion of weakening the Silver Surfer, and defining Galactus as much as they do, places enough intrusion on any following creative team that, I think the point is moot.

Frankly, the more I hear anything from Tim Story, the less impressed I am.
For a comic that has been such a success in the past, and remains a gem in the Marvel crown, it's so disappointing to see these films under perform the way they do. Sure, they make a lot of cash, but then, so does Britney Spears...

Bringing it back to the comics, we take a look at Heroes Reborn, which reinvents the heroes in a way the Ultimate versions would repeat a few years later.
This version of the FF manages to outdo it's Ultimate counterpart with an inter-connected series of associations that services the outlandish qualities of the superhero sci-fi, but lends a grounding by domino effect.

The anomaly explored in the Heroes Reborn universe is ultimately the Silver Surfer arriving in our galaxy through a wormhole. The entire line builds to a conclusion revolving around the arrival of Galactus, but before that, Fantastic Four manages to explore many of the classic heroes and villains with quite logical connection to "the great one", or, world devourer.

Personally I've always regarded connecting the FF's creation to Galactus as a reasonably logical one. Not only does it preemptively lend credence to their opposition of the space deity, but also lends a credibility to the sequence of events of the cosmic rays (which have never, to my knowledge, been elaborated upon in the central canon), and the arrival of Silver Surfer/Galactus some forty-plus issues later.

My perspective as a writer has always been to look at Galactus' need for planets that sustain sentient life, and his ability to embue sentient life with cosmic energy, as a potential means to an end. If an unexplained wave of cosmic radiation is what gives birth to the FF, why not connect the dots to assume Galactus sends out a wave of his energy with the intention of it travelling through space until it reaches a populated planet and dissipates over an entire populous, granting them all minute traces of the power cosmic.

The theory there would be that the power cosmic provides a signature beacon easily traced, making the search for planets a little more sophisticated than the groping orienteering heralds supposedly go on. The FF's intervention of the wave would provide a comparison to other worlds where denizens are not powered, and maybe even start to contribute explanations to the mutant population, and other unlikely super powers in the Marvel universe.

I consider myself a reasonably competent writer [and future Marvel hopeful], but I tend to imagine any well versed FF fan could probably come up with any number of two-hour alternatives that would surpass what was ultimately a very dull and boring sequel to an equally average summer blockbuster.

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 4.5

Agree, disagree? Though our discussions have been fairly critical over the past week or so, we hope to remind fans that there's no shame in having confident opinions, or critical analysis. Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is not a website built to "bash" certain products, but discuss them with familiarity, reference, and recognition of materials, good or bad. It just so happens the bad is often where more discussion can be found.

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