MAN-THING versus HULK

... And Man-Thing Makes Three! (Marvel)
Where: Incredible Hulk #197 When: March 1976
Why: Len Wein How: Sal Buscema & Joe Staton

The Story So Far...
Battle with The Abomination onboard an out-of-control rocket leaves Hulk hurtling uncontrollably earthbound through the planet's atmosphere.

Crash-landing in the Florida Everglades -- the Hulk burns with anger & confusion as he resumes his lonely existence beneath the watchful gaze of a silent, shambling beast.

In the bosom of the swamp, Hulk finds hostile reptiles, but reverting to Bruce Banner briefly, he makes the acquaintance of a timid mute troubled by an anachronistic mob of pirates. These wretches are exhibits in The Collector's collection and now Hulk will face his prized champion in mortal combat!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Man-Thing 2 (Average)
Speed: Hulk 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Draw 6 (Generator)
Agility: Hulk 2 (Average)
Fighting: Hulk 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Man-Thing 2 (Projectiles)
Total: Hulk 26 (Meta-Human)

Those who know fear burn at the Man-Thing's touch, but what's a little scolding to a Hulk who just burst into flames passing through Earth's atmosphere?

He launched a tactical pre-emptive strike when facing the fire of the Human Torch back in Fantastic Four #12, but decades later stood face-front relatively unscathed against the nuclear inferno of Red Hulk.

Hulk is far more prone to rage than fear, but he's facing a pretty weird opponent in circumstances well beyond his usual scope of operation, so let's not completely rule it out.

Of course, despite a fairly monstrous visage, the Man-Thing is actually a relatively kind natured creature, instinctively driven by a powerful sense of empathy, as well as sometimes preying upon the fears of those who misunderstand him. In many ways he's actually quite a kindred spirit for the Hulk.

The once brilliant biochemist, Dr. Theodore Sallis, is become a primitive protector of the innocent, and guardian to The Nexus of Realities found in the Florida Everglades that formed his new body.

It's a station that put Man-Thing on the frontlines of repelling the zombie plague of Earth-2149: home of the Marvel Zombies, where Hulk became one of the deadliest plague carriers to visit other worlds, and devour powerful opponents.

It seems even as a decaying zombie: Hulk is strongest one there is, but Man-Thing is only in this fight because of The Collector's influence, and that opens this fight up to a whole range of unexpected twists. Let's see what happened...

The Tape: Hulk Ranking: Hulk (#6)

What Went Down...

From the depths of the Everglades emerges the grim visage of The Collector!

Arriving to claim ownership of a freshly beaten mob of salty pirates, he inspires terror in the face of their mute victim. This is enough for the Hulk to match his newfound friend's fear with rage -- swiftly redirected by The Collector towards another figure suddenly appearing: His champion -- The Man-Thing!

At his master's behest the towering swamp monster marches toward a bewildered Hulk -- smacking him with the back of his mossy hand!

The hit only staggers Hulk for a fleeting moment.

The green goliath charges angrily towards Man-Thing to strike back in kind -- only for his massive fist to punch straight through the slimy vegetation of the creature's unharmed body!

Once again Man-Thing seizes upon Hulk's confusion as The Collector barks orders to strike!

With his marshy hands clasped, the Man-Thing brings them suddenly rising to Hulk's jade jaw with a powerful hammer-like two-fisted uppercut!

The Hulk's rage only grows as his primitive mind grapples with the situation. He had no reason to fight Man-Thing before, but now he will punish the creature for daring to attack!

While the Hulk swings his mighty fist like a wrecking ball through Man-Thing's mushy mid-section -- The Collector aims to stack the deck in favour of his indentured champion...

The elder of the universe casts the light of the fabled Philosopher's Stone on a fearful nearby mute, whose silent witness contorts into an expression of twisted horror as his existence is unmade -- reverting to a creature of oozing clay!

Completely under The Collector's influence, the living Glob is now directed to join the fight -- catching Hulk by surprise with a sneak attack!

The clubbing blow from behind drops the Hulk to his knees, but he soon puts wild eyes on the Man-Thing's unexpected accomplice.

With frustration and anger boiling over, the Hulk aims to smash this newest challenger -- only to find his fist once again glides ineffectually through its target!

With only a clay-soaked hand to show for his aggression, Hulk stares at his fist with existential dread. "Bah! You are made of clay -- like carrot-nose is made of slime! How can Hulk fight clay and slime? HOW??"

The creatures callously ignore Hulk's frustrated quandary, showing him the hard side of their marsh and mud with synchronous punches!

The shambling monsters approach their toppled foe and loom silently for a moment -- before The Collector once again rallies their attentions to an attack!

The Glob locks his arms around Hulk's chest while Man-Thing delivers clubbing overhead blows.

Hulk flails wildly in an attempt to repel his attacker and escape the hold, but the Man-Thing cradles Hulk's head and plunges it into his swampy chest!

Hulk continues to fight, his mighty lungs affording him more time than any mortal man, but even he can only last so long, especially once caught by surprise.

The Man-Thing silently holds Hulk's head within the suffocating bog of his own body.

Slowly but surely Hulk's thrashing begins to subside. As he succumbs to passing out, his arms fall limp and he drops to the ground, unconscious at the feet of the motionless Man-Thing and The Glob.

The Hammer...

The Collector's pirates come to gather the bounty of a defeated Hulk -- five or six of them struggling to lift his mighty figure as they're led to the private quarters of Collector's possessions.

You might not know it at a glance, but this marks something of a reunion for Hulk and one of his old adversaries.

The Glob first appeared in Incredible Hulk #121 when escaped convict Joseph Timms was accidentally doused in radioactive waste dumped into a swamp by the rampaging Hulk. The mugshot [pictured above] shows a portion of that dramatic 1969 cover by artist Herb Trimpe.

The Glob butted heads with the jade giant a couple more times, before passing through geographic convenience to the domain of today's marquee main eventer and inadvertent tag team partner: Man-Thing!

The Glob and Man-Thing became Florida Everglades sparring partners in the ever-famous Giant Size Man-Thing #1! A series of body horrors having taken The Glob from short-lived servitude to The Leader, to becoming a golden brain -- his body reconstituted under the command of Yagzan and his Cult of Entropy.

It all gets a little weird, but weird is what you get when you're dealing with re-animated monster men-things made from swamp muck and mud!

With slamming Sal Buscema on pencils this can't help but be big time super-hero smackdown, but it manages to be subdued enough to bog Hulk down in the mire of a horror genre monster mash. Just what would hit the spot this spooky season!

Hulk was born from a disaster of the super-hero atomic age, but we can't forget he began life as a figure of horror. A Dr. Jekyll and Frankenstein's Monster hybrid, a literalized creature by night lurking in the shadow of the human psyche.

Even after he was brightened up and entered into crossovers with Marvel's heroes of science, Hulk remained a monosyllabic beast, trading blows with the likes of The Thing, as if fulfilling the promise of late stage classic Universal horror movies with even bigger monsters, and bolder technicolour brawls.

We never seem to have enough Hulk on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, and with Halloween drawing near -- and Man-Thing making waves with a successful live-action return in Marvel's Werewolf By Night special -- it seemed like the perfect time to dig up today's classic back issue.

It's a very different dynamic to Hulk's fight with Jack Russell in Incredible Hulk #362, but there's a similar thrill reconnecting with that classic horror vibe. I'm enjoying building our file of the more macabre side of the superhero universes.

If you'd like to find more from your favourite horrors you should follow links throughout this article, or dive into the Secret Archive for a complete index of featured fights in order of publisher, series, and issue number.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured more than 700 battles and ranked well over 1,000 characters! If you like what we're all about and want to see more entries you can help make it happen by becoming a supporter on Patreon!

Patrons will unlock additional updates and be able to sponsor featured content including Top 10 Rank & File lists, featured fights, and more as a thank you for helping support me and the project.

You can also get free daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing via Twitter and Facebook. Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday! It's also completely free to follow on Patreon for more updates!

Winners: Man-Thing & The Glob
#353 (new) Glob (Joseph Timms)
#415 (+475) Man-Thing
#629 (new) The Collector [+1 assist]
#6 (--) Hulk

ETERNALS versus SILVER SURFER & SUPER-SKRULL

Adam (Marvel)
Where: Silver Surfer Annual #1 When: 1988
Why: Steve Englehart How: Joe Staton

The Story So Far...
Parting ways with Nova, the Silver Surfer returns to Earth on a mission of mercy -- only to inadvertently happen upon the re-manifestation of the Super-Skrull in outer space!

Intent on keeping his presence hidden, the Super-Skrull engages The Surfer in battle, but their conflict is soon ended by the intervention of another unexpected party.

The Eternals have agreed to capture the Silver Surfer and map his unique genetic code so that The High Evolutionary might use its information to advance the human race to its next phase of existence. Neither Surfer nor Skrull is a willing participant, making fighting allies of the pair held captive in the Greek mountains!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Super-Skrull 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Thena 5 (Professor)
Speed: Makkari 7 (Lightspeed)
Stamina: Karkas 6 (Generator)
Agility: Super-Skrull 6 (Rubber)
Fighting: Ikaris 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Silver Surfer 7 (Cosmic Power)
Total: Silver Surfer 37 (Cosmic)

The Eternals are: Ikaris, Makkari, Thena, and Sersi, with Karkas.

At the dawn of humanity esoteric space gods known as Celestials visited upon the Earth an evolutionary nudge that spawned two genome variants: homo-immortalis and homo-descendus -- better known as Eternals, and their grotesque subterranean shadows, The Deviants.

The Eternals chose to sequester themselves, eventually settling in the mountains of Greece in a secluded, highly advanced city called Olympia. From there they served as secret guardians to Earth, in a pact with their counterpart Greek gods, using innate cosmic powers to suppress the Deviants and shepherd humanity.

Although Eternals draw from a mutual source of ability, each specializes in using their natural gifts in unique ways: Ikaris is strong and projects powerful energy, often from his eyes. Makkari has mastered moving at phenomenal speed. Thena is a study of ancient knowledge and fighting techniques, wielding energy & weapons. Sersi is an expert of transmutation and psionic projection.

Silver Surfer received similar gifts when Galactus bestowed upon him the power cosmic. The erstwhile Norrin Radd is no stranger to battling other god-like beings, as we saw when he clashed with Norse powered Beta Ray Bill in Godhunter #2, and Thor himself in the alternate reality of What If...? #70.

Although the Silver Surfer has defeated Ronan The Accuser on multiple occasions, such as Silver Surfer #13, he was overwhelmed when attempting to siphon the augmenting energies of the Kree Empire and Ego during Maximum Security #3.

This might suggest the Eternals' ability to pool their respective power into a single Uni-Mind might cause The Surfer some trouble. Fortunately for him, he has the one-man army of sometimes enemy turned ally Super-Skrull by his side!

Super-Skrull succumbed to Thor's lightning in Thor #465, but displayed a portion of his multi-faceted might while over-powering Ms Marvel in Marvel Team-Up #62.

With the combined powers of the Fantastic Four, Kl'rt commands super-strength, rubber malleability, scorching flame, invisibility, and force-fields to devastating effect. If he stays on the same page as Silver Surfer they should be able to match the Eternals and their Deviant powerhouse Karkas. Let's see if they did...

The Tape: The Eternals Ranking: Silver Surfer (#31)

What Went Down...

Held captive in separate translucent cells: Silver Surfer compels Super-Skrull to renew efforts to escape, while he does the same. Their simultaneous assault on the "Sunset" and "Sunrise" Pyramids will cause their linked fates to be freed.

Super-Skrull wields the outward pressure of invisible projected forcefields, red hot flames, and monstrous strength, while Silver Surfer radiates with awesome power cosmic. All at once their prisons are shattered as The Surfer makes the difference!

The Eternals are awestruck by their gleaming guest's power, but not all are as reluctant as Karkas to engage him.

Ikaris vows to complete their sworn task of mapping The Surfer's genome, raising a hand to demonstrate his own cosmic power with a blast of energy.

Silver Surfer blocks the attack with an extended hand, while summoning Super-Skrull to his side.

The Skrull is surprised to find his erstwhile adversary seeking to help him despite an earlier attack. Their alliance of convenience is of obvious appeal as the Eternals mobilize for a coordinated strike.

Thena surrounds the Silver Surfer in a smoldering projection from her eyes, while the fast-moving Makkari staggers Super-Skrull with a flying kick to the face!

Super-Skrull keeps his footing and immediately returns fire with an uppercut that channels the augmented strength of The Thing into knocking Makkari into the air!

The Surfer launches a counter-attack of his own -- forcing Thena to leap nimbly clear of a burst of cosmic energy that crashes into the ground.

Karkas charges in to intervene, heeding Ikaris' order to be on guard with eyes on a strong offense. He wraps his hulking arms around the Silver Surfer, overwhelming the space-faring hero with the powerful grapple.

Makkari demonstrates his incredible speed -- literally running rings around the Super-Skrull while effortlessly avoiding jets of flame. Sersi takes advantage of the distraction, introducing the Skrull to the agony of her own energy projection!

The Surfer erupts with cosmic power as well, freeing himself from the oppressive grip of Karkas -- only to turn into the direct path of Ikaris' eye beams!

Meanwhile, Kl'rt channels more of The Thing's strength -- transforming his legs into powerful rocky piledrivers. He slams his foot to the ground, sending a devastating localized shockwave that topples Sersi and Makkari!

Seeing the rest of the Eternals focused on his teammate, Super-Skrull surrounds himself in fire and takes flight in an effort to seize his opportunity for escape.

The Surfer can only shout at the treachery, held unerringly by mighty Karkas in the point blank gaze of Ikaris' devastating eye blasts!

An opportunity presents itself as Ikaris responds to the Skrulls' escape,  commanding Thena and Makkari to use their speed to take chase. The Surfer takes advantage of the distraction, summoning his board to carry him out of Karkas' arms and crashing straight through Ikaris!

In the skies above Olympus, Super-Skrull channels the fire of the Human Torch with urgency, but he knows he cannot match the speed of his pursuers. Makkari and Thena rapidly close in -- when suddenly a silver streak divides them!

The cosmic rider stands stridently on his board with the gathered Eternals at his face, and the Super-Skrull at his back.

The Surfer confounds Kl'rt once more with another unexpected effort to help. He compels the Super-Skrull to complete his escape, reminding him that the entire Skrull race was robbed of their natural shape-shifting abilities while he was lost in a swirl of deconstructed atoms in Earth's Van Allen radiation belt.

With the responsibility of his species' "prime-heritage", Super-Skrull accepts Silver Surfer's gift of hope and gesture towards justice, uncertain that he or his Empire will ever be able to repay the act. The Surfer accepts this, hoping that the restoration of Skrull power will at least end their renewed war with the Kree.

Uncertain of Earth's future, and the true nature of the Eternals' seemingly impossible history, Silver Surfer and his would-be captors reach a mutual respect and understanding. Ikaris bids him godspeed, accepting that The Surfer will not assist the High Evolutionary in tampering with the advancement of nature.

The Hammer...

This strikes me as a fairly honest way to induct the Eternals into our combative corner of the web. Their Marvel Studios debut has brought newfound attention, but like a lot of folks, I've mostly experienced them as obscure guest characters in preferred series, or occasionally glanced back issues that never quite made it into the collection.

Ikaris had the bearing of an adventuring front-man for a Marvel super-group, but his basic design was also dangerously underwhelming. Kind of like one of those knock-off He-Man toylines, or a cartoon from anywhere in the sixties to the eighties that just wasn't as legit as the hits. The set-up of the dichotomous Deviants as their all encompassing, monstrous villains didn't help.

The high-concept premise is actually the kind of straight forward that works, but The Eternals lacked the immediate visual appeal, or otherworldliness, of other Jack Kirby creations. Accessibility almost worked against them, in an ironic sort of way.

The New Gods are famously a similarly difficult rite of passage for uninitiated readers, but once that threshold of Kirby appreciation is crossed, the barrier to entry unfolds into a far more indulgent and vivid experience than The Eternals. Its higher degree of difficulty is in some small way part of the reward.

The Eternals may be simpler than the New Gods, but in that regard they also overlap with the niche of a super-powered secret society living in seclusion already occupied by The Inhumans. The latter is couched in its own difficulties of grandiose royal family, but benefits from deeper ties with a popular mainstream gateway series like Fantastic Four.

It's easy to see how Eternals could be overlooked by the publisher, and passed up by readers, but that's not to say they're without their charms.

With just a little bit of effort comes the reward of something interesting, and if you took a chance on an issue like Silver Surfer Annual #1, you got a gentle, action-packed introduction to a classic quartet who've watched the world for a million years, and stood shoulder to shoulder with Greek gods like Hercules.

The scope of their history and lifespan, and weight of purpose on their potential, is something that sets the Eternals apart from the grounded genetic discourse of the X-Men. Rather than dwell analogously on the contemporary concerns of racial politics or personal identity, The Eternals flirt with grand existential concepts of the meaning of life itself, and the fantasy of classical ascended super-humans.

This cosmic philosophizing meshes well with Silver Surfer, who's always at his best contemplating the vastness of space with a soulful, almost zen sense of perspective on life.

He plays an interesting role in the conflict with the Eternals, assuming a position of extreme advocacy for the individual, which almost defies his more familiar sense of altruism. Here he not only fights to deny humanity its potential for ascension through the mapping of his chrome-tinged cosmically altered genome, but also does everything he can to secure Super-Skrull's freedom for the sake of restoring the Skrull species to their natural state of deceptive shape-shifting.

It's all a little bit Star Trek Prime Directive, essentially boiling down to superior beings allowing nature to take its course, rather than endorsing the eugenic experiments of the High Evolutionary, who sets the entire plot into motion as part of the banner event for 1988 Annuals, The Evolutionary War.

The second volume of What If? begins with a pretty wild story that explores a reality where the High Evolutionary "won", and The Eternals ultimately merge with Inhumans, and evolved mutants, to take on the cosmic entities that define the universe, after killing Galactus. Humanity uniformly develops big heads, and Daredevil becomes one of the last men on Earth, forging a friendship with Vision.

It might not be as strange as it sounds, but it's a typical dark fate for a What If? story. Something we might look at some time in the future. I'd also like to return to more of the Eternals, having enjoyed today's featured battle, and more of the Evolutionary War, which has an interesting appearance by an adversary who share centuries with the Eternals - Apocalypse.

If you'd like to see that sooner than later you can become a backer on Patreon to sponsor your choice of future feature. As a thank you for supporting the project you'll unlock additional updates, polls, and options for customized articles.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 600 battles and ranked more than 1000 characters! You can discover them all by following links throughout this post, or by diving into the Secret Archive for a free and complete index of featured fights in order of publisher, series, and issue number!

You can find today's featured fight by checking out collected editions of Essential Silver Surfer Vol. 2 or The Evolutionary War. Use the Amazon purchase links for any of your shopping and you'll not only discover a great deal -- you'll also help Amazon support the site at no extra cost to you!

Get free daily links to smackdown inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing on Twitter and Facebook. Don't forget to like, fave, and share posts, and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday!

Winner: Inconclusive (Draw)
#31 (--) Silver Surfer
#145 (+4) Super-Skrull
#445 (+152) Sersi
#475 (new) Ikaris
#476 (new) Karkas
#477 (new) Makkari
#478 (new) Thena

GUY GARDNER versus BLACK HAND

Book One Of Three (DC)
Where: Guy Gardner Reborn #1 When: July 1992
Why: Gerard Jones How: Joe Staton

The Story So Far...
As Green Lantern, Guy Gardner had the cosmos in the palm of his hand. He was an intergalactic space-cop and idol to millions - the Justice League of America's take no prisoners powerhouse. He had it all! Then he lost it...

Having gambled his power ring in a showdown with an Earthbound Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner is now a super-hero without super-powers! Not that that will stop him!

Back on the beat of New York City, Guy Gardner is going to clean up dirty streets - starting with Times Square! Possessing only his fists and a bad ass attitude, he begins a grass roots fight for justice starting with a smut peddling hero-hater he's handled before: Black Hand!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Guy Gardner 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Black Hand 5 (Professor)
Speed: Guy Gardner 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Guy Gardner 5 (Marathon)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Guy Gardner 4 (Trained)
Energy: Guy Gardner 7 (Cosmic Power)


Here on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths we use The Tale of the Tape to compare, contrast, and summarize the characters appearing in a featured fight. A popular shorthand has always been the tape stats [above], using an independent metric to highlight the strategic advantages of one character over the other(s).

These stats take from a standardized impression of the character - but sometimes circumstances have it that a character isn't fighting at peak condition. That fact plays a major role in today's featured face-off!

Guy Gardner has been better known for much of his career as one of several Green Lanterns designated to Sector 2814. Legend has it he was very nearly the first man of Earth to be chosen for the honor, but proximity to a fatal crash site of Green Lantern Abin Sur led daredevil test pilot Hal Jordan to receive the ring.

In later years, Guy Gardner became a reservist for the Green Lantern Corps, taking responsibility when Hal Jordan was forced away from his duties. In time, this led to full deployment as a Green Lantern, and even amendments by The Guardians to allow for multiple representatives from a single space sector. No such luck at this point in Guy's career, though!

Hal Jordan's return from a lengthy stay in space led to a showdown for patrolling rights on Earth. Refusing to give up his ring without a fight, Guy challenged Jordan to a powerless fist fight. The cocksure Gardner lost his fight, and we find him today shortly after he'd surrendered his ring.

Not having a power ring obviously lessens Gardner's offensive arsenal, but when it comes to fighting Black Hand -- it also diminishes the threat of the villain!

William Hand would eventually come to be known as the death obsessed scion of the Black Lantern. Long before that, he was merely a pathological hero-hater with a penchant for proverb, cliché, and crime! This profile led to inevitable conflict with local hero Green Lantern, who he battles with a device of special design that can drain a power ring of its energy - turning it against the wearer!

In a past feature we saw Black Hand wave his energy wand at Green Arrow and Speedy [Green Lantern: Rebirth #1]. They don't have super-powers to drain, but their archery gave them the edge against a feverish Hand. Will Guy Gardner be able to produce the same result with his fists? Let's find out...

The Math: Guy Gardner Ranking: Guy Gardner (#95)

What Went Down...
Like a human battering ram -- Guy Gardner ploughs through Black Hand and his gang of rubes! A right hook sends the ringleader flying, leaving his mooks to do the fighting in a descending five-on-one flurry of fists!

Black Hand commentates the action from the sidelines with an assault of applicable proverbs. Gardner takes his lumps from all sides and explodes out of the pack with an extension of muscle. He comes from Black Hand, but the villain uses his position to throw a leg at the stalking hero!

Gardner absorbs the kick to the gut and compliments his foe for scoring an impressive hit. It inspires the hero to strike back with another right hook, and an improvised adaptation of an old cliché: "A fist in the mouth..."

Black Hand's head snaps back from the blow, but is caught with another two-prong assault of mangled wordplay and a mangling left cross!

The big bad is on the ropes and his goons are getting antsy! It won't be long now before the Green Lantern tires of toying with his prey and scoops them up in a big green net of justice. Or will it?...

As the moustached mook tries to run, an observant goon points out a certain power ring absent from the Green Lantern's swinging, white gloved fists. With a twisted grin the meagre muscle rejoins the game, clutching a nearby desk lamp.

Unaware of the conspiracy around him, Gardner continues to sink his fists into Black Hand's waiting stomach. His nose bleeds and his body quivers, but still Hand manages a smile: "The... The... The light that burns twice as bright..."

This time quip serves a distraction gambit that pays off! A desk lamp rockets across the back of Guy Gardner's head - knocking him out cold!

The Hammer...
As commander of the nameless crooks who work for him, Black Hand claims a surprising victory over his arrogant nemesis!

With the former Green Lantern out cold in their midst, Hand and his boys toss him to the gutter, to resume their disreputable trade. It's a harsh lesson in adjustment for the now powerless hero, but as Hand would say, you've gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette! Or scramble some brains, as it were.

If you thought Hal Jordan was the first Green Lantern to be reborn - surprise! Guy Gardner was doing it a whole decade before it was cool! He even kicked off his mini-series with a fight with Black Hand -- something Hal Jordan did twelve and a half years later in Green Lantern: Rebirth #1!

The comparisons between GG Reborn and GL Rebirth taper off pretty quickly after that. There's whole a lot of ring slinging in both - naturally, and a face-off (or two) with Sinestro, but the intent of both stories is binary in difference.

When Hal Jordan was coming back in 2005, DC Comics were correcting course on a mid-nineties twist that turned their Silver Age icon into an arch-villain. The goal was to restore the character to his definitive identity as Green Lantern.

In 1992, Guy Gardner was heading in the opposite direction - ousted as Green Lantern, and in need of a new identity all his own. That identity would come at the end of Reborn through the acquisition of Sinestro's yellow power ring of Qward. A story I'm sure we'll look closer at some time in the future.

Ironically, the definitions of all of these details would be changed significantly by Green Lantern: Rebirth, and the extensive reign of Geoff Johns as writer and creative engineer for the entire Green Lantern mythos.

Rebirth restored Guy Gardner to the Green Lantern identity he was famous for as well, stripping him of Vuldarian powers he'd acquired a few years after Reborn as "Warrior". Guy's Qwardian ring returned to Sinestro, and eventually spawned an entire Yellow Lantern Corps. All the colors of the emotional spectrum would follow shortly thereafter, leading to Black Hand's rise as the first of the death wielding Black Lantern Corps.

I don't know that I'd called Guy Gardner Reborn ahead of its time, but it's certainly an interesting time capsule in the sprawling modern history of the characters involved. It taps into some interesting parody of trends of the time, while also indulging in them. Guy has misadventures as gun-covered vigilante, and doubles down on the bad taste violence in a tenuous team-up with another icon of parody gone straight: Lobo. If you were wondering how a smut peddling Black Hand factors into that - it's actually a callback to an issue of JLA!

If you're a Guy Gardner fan, rest assured there'll be plenty more opportunities to revisit his Rebirth, and other stories. In the mean time, we press on...

As you may know, the entire DC Universe is presently in the process of another line-wide "Rebirth", which is the theme running through all of our feature fights this July! Since we talked about it so much today, next week's feature fight will come from the pages of Green Lantern: Rebirth!

If you're reading this sometime in the future - you'll be able to find that fight and many more by scouring the Issue Index Archive! There you'll find even more superhero smackdown and comic book review!

Winner: Black Hand
#334 (+297) Black Hand
#105 (-10) Guy Gardner

CRYPTO-MAN versus HULK
Do Not Forsake Me! (Marvel)
Where: Incredible Hulk #205 When: November 1976
Why: Len Wein How: Sal Buscema & Joe Staton

The Story So Far...
Dr. Jasper Whyte was a budding evil genius with aspirations of domination, who chose to turn his micro-engineering skills to the design of various sinister technologies! Among his designs, the Crypto-Man; a lumbering automaton capable of harnessing various energy sources to clash with the likes of the mighty Thor!

When Dr. Whyte realised the ramifications of his attempts to take New York City randsom, he was redeemed by willfully sacrificing himself to prevent Crypto-Man fullfilling his programming to destroy a power plant that would have threatened the life of his critically ill mother.

Though destroyed by it's master; the Crypto-Man robot was later discovered by a mysterious evil genius seeking similar goals of domination. The unknown scientist succeeds in reanimating the beast, using remote controls, and a conventional power source, to instruct the mechanical monster to commit bank robberies. When the Crypto-Man comes across Bruce Banner and the alien queen, Jarella, the scientist seeks to siphon what he hopes is Hulk-level strength from the green-skinned woman, a folly that inspires the appearance of the real thing!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Draw 1 (Idiot)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Draw 6 (Generator)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting Ability: Hulk 6 (Warrior)
Energy Power: Draw 1 (None)


- Created by Dr. Jasper Whyte; the robotic automaton called Crypto-Man is little more than a pawn in the machinations of evil scientists and brilliant madmen. Original designs benefitted from siphoning the powers of Thor to enhance the Crypto-Man's strength, but a later rebuild by an unknown scientist relied upon conventional means of powering the robot. This energy proved sufficient to sponsor a head-on clash with a full-strength Hulk, who eventually destroyed the robot once more after becoming enraged.

- Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, a slight and insignificant scientist, lives slavishly dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge, as funded by the United States military.
Though Banner justifies his goals as means for peace, he becomes one of America's leading weapons designers after inventing a gamma radiation bomb.

During preperations for a test launch in the desert, Dr. Banner spots a reckless youth on the testing ground, and in a moment of magnificence, knowingly throws himself on a bullet that would grant a far crueller fate than death.
Bitterly aware of the Communist conspiracy of his fellow scientist, Banner struggles to usher he and the boy to safety while his colleague continues to countdown the launch.

After succumbing to an ordinarily lethal doses of gamma radiation, Dr. Banner soon finds himself undergoing a horrific transformation. Originally by night, but soon triggered by rage or unease, Banner discovers the superhumanly strong alter-ego within himself, dubbed simply - the Hulk! As the Hulk, Banner's brilliance is reduced to a childlike lumbering, while his slight frame conversely comes to possess size, strength, and durability never before imagined.

Hulk has no specific known weaknesses, but is fiercely protective of the few who earn his favour. Though generally good hearted, Hulk is prone to wild rages and varied personalities, including the calculating persona adopted during his time on the planet Sakaar, where he adopts a military savvy.

The Math: Hulk Ranking: Hulk (#6)

What Went Down...
Having torn through a bank vault, the lumbering Crypto-Man stalks onto the streets where he happens upon a casually passing Bruce Banner and Jarella! Mistaking the green-skinned Queen for a super powered she-Hulk -- Crypto-Man seeks to siphon her powers just as the first version stole the powers of Thor!

Concern gives rise to the green-eyed monster within, transforming the nurturing hands of the lithe Dr. Banner, into hulking green fists of fury!

A stiff left topples the lumbering robot, startling the unseen scientist who controls the robot from a hidden remote station. He maneuvers the mechanoid to wrench a streetlight from the sidewalk, using it as a jaust to stun the charging Hulk, before closing in with a devestating uppercut!

While police do their best to protect innocent bystanders; the Crypto-Man hoists a nearby car above his head, menacing the recovered Hulk. Hulk proves nimble enough to duck the incoming projectile, but the evasive tactic is not without it's cost. The stray car demolishes the corner of a building, rending it's structural integrity naught. Seeing a child in the path of the crumbling wall, Queen Jarella leaps into action to save the small boy, but in doing so, puts herself in the path of the crumbling rock!

The scenario jars the Hulk's short attentions, earning the Crypto-Man an uncompromising knock-out blow that clears Hulk's path to his fallen mistress. Only the alien monarch's green hand can be seen, poking out from the rubble.
The Crypto-Man proves unsympathetic to the Hulk's emotional quarrel, taking the opportunity of the distraction to attack the Hulk from behind!

The powerful blow has little effect as the Hulk's grief quickly gives way to rage!
Crypto-Man suffers the brunt of a charging spear tackle, from which the Hulk tosses the hapless robot into a nearby building. With his master desperately toiling at the controls, Crypto-Man rises unfetted to use a piece of the broken wall as a weapon against the Hulk!

Hulk shrugs off the assault, smashing the bricks and mortar to get to the metallic hide of his opponent! Challenging the cowardice of the robot's master, Hulk unleashes his gamma-irradiated fists with extreme prejudice! The clubbing one-two rocks the robot into a sparking stop, leaving the machine a sitting duck for the finishing blow, a right hook that knocks his block off!

Hulk is strongest one there is!

The Hammer...
Let the record show that the Hulk, not surprisingly, put the Crypto-Man out of commission in his second and final appearance, in 1976. Making the Crypto-Man robot, for all intents and pursposes, a two-time loser. One can't help but get the feeling this ancient old robot might have some life left in him one day, though.

For many readers of the Infinite Wars I'm sure this site functions on a very simple level: the summary and depiction of combative situations in superhero comics. On that level it's a fairly simple hook for a blog that doesn't manage to tackle the everyday goings on in the world of the mainstream superheroes.

As much as the site can probably stand on that simple premise, I do very much value the discussion reserved for this closing section. It's here that recent stumbling blocks have really slowed production on the Infinite Wars, because, for some reason, I find myself even less inspired and/or insightful than usual.

After a little soul searching I resigned myself to the prospect of replacing contrived analysis and pseudo-essays with straight-seaking honesty; hence the paragraphs you've read so far. Of course, no sooner than I agree to forego the search for greater meaning, do I suddenly realise the significance of this comic.

Top 25 Mecha-Menaces#1 Iron Man (Marvel)
#2 Dr. Doom (Marvel)
#3 Tara (Marvel)
#4 Human Torch (Marvel)
#5 Death's Head (Marvel)
#6 Ultron (Marvel)
#7 Warlock (Marvel)
#8 Machine Man (Marvel)
#9 Sadler's Cyborg (Capcom)
#10 Vision (Marvel)
#11 Equus (DC)
#12 Robot (DC)
#13 Death's Head II (Marvel)
#14 tri-Sentinel (Marvel)
#15 Nimrod (Marvel)
#16 Amazo (DC)
#17 OGRE (DC)
#18 Titanium Man (Marvel)
#19 Dragon Man (Marvel)
#20 SUper Adaptoid (Marvel)
#21 Ahab (Marvel)
#22 Mister Atom (DC)
#23 Crypto-Man (Marvel)
#24 Metallo (DC)
#25 Jocasta (Marvel)Crypto-Man is far from a significant character in the comics landscape. This fairly non-descript automaton stands out so very little in superhero science fiction, which probably explains the mere two appearances. Of course, that in itself is a fairly impressive feat! Crypto-Man has all the hallmarks of an early recurring villain, yet, somehow, this managed to be his last outing as a villain, despite having menaced Thor previously.

Strangely enough; it was whilst watching the renovation of a Georgian store/home that it occurred to me spotlighting an issue like this one, some thirty-plus years after it's creation, is not at all a dissimilar undertaking.

In peeling back the many layers of wallpaper and detailing that had been installed in this home, the scenario become far more archaelogical than an ordinary exercise in DIY. Something I feel a comic like this represents, because it is so rare for a character like Crypto-Man to go unused for so long.

The seemingly insignificant suddenly becomes a doorway to the past, and a definitive footnote for an era.
One begins to wonder if the endless recycling of villains in the modern era might not be something to regret. As much as the occasional revamp might create a new definition of a character, does this endless cycle of repetition breed anything but weakness? It's fair to say the landmarks of time are evident in the details of stories as much as the characters appearing in them, but when I look at a character like Crypto-Man, I see an unmistakable trinket of time.

As much as this decade will be remembered for it's highlights, lowlights, and favourtism for the writer, is this a post-nineties creative boom, or recession?
Has our desire to be taken seriously led us astray from some of the things that have made characters like Hulk a joy to read in the past? Have we cheated ourselves the variety of many bullets shot?

Say what you will about the giant-sized guns, flowing hairstyles, bulky jackets, and cybernetic implants. Looking back, we can quite easily spot a forgotten relic of the nineties, and as embarassed as we may pretend to be, perhaps it was the last decade of identity for our medium.

The Fight: 6 The Issue: 4

Seen the movie? Read one of our recent reviews? Just looking for a smashing good time? You'll find this issue collected in "Heart of the Atom" and at a fantastic price thanks to Amazon! By using purchase links provided on the site, you help sponsor future entries in the Infinite Wars, which is good, because one of these days we might actually get around to reviewing EVERY Hulk appearance, and finally we'll know just how strong Hulk really is!
If that kind of scope is something you'd like to see, you might like to contribute donations via the PayPal donate button, or just scoot over to the Infinite Wars Amazonian Gift Shoppe where you'll find collections containing most of the issues reviewed on the site -- and get this! You help just by buying them! Sweet deal!