DEADPOOL versus HULK
Why is it, to save me, I must kill you? (Marvel comics)
Where: Deadpool #4 When: April, 1997
Why: Joe Kelly How: Ed McGuinness

The story so far...
Once upon a time there lived this dude called Deadpool.
He shoulda died a whole heap o' times, but he got this crazy healing factor from these Canadian scientist dudes, who got it from this Wolverine guy, who got it from his parents, who got it from years of evolution, which began because of... Well, to be honest, it's against state law for me to continue beyond this point, but you get the picture.

So anyway, you probably didn't know it, but behind that big old homocidal facade lies a crispy, yet creamy center -- mostly because of cancer, and that whole Canadian thing. Seriously, dude looks like a piece of bacon that's been left on the roof for six years...

Of course, whether it has three or four legs, a bulldog is still butt ugly and slightly hilarious. So, 'Pool needn't worry about losing his finger, because his Irish crish [Siryn] probably can't stand his stink anyway. Still, she's probably upset that they just found out he can't heal his finger because he's probably dying... Eh, easy come, easy go...

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Deadpool 2 (Average)
Speed: Deadpool 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Hulk 6 (Generator)
Agility: Deadpool 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Hulk 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Deadpool 4 (Arsenal)

Y'know, once in a while here on Secret Earths, we produce a surprising gem of information that you can actually take away with you into the big wide world. Unfortunately, this occasion is not one of those once in a whiles.

That said, it is interesting to note that the Haseloff system gives Deadpool the overall edge based on individual statistical analysis, which really makes it sound like some careful thought was put into the whole ordeal.
Of course, while not at all an accurate indicator, this information could be used to at least suggest a character like Deadpool is capable of defeating the Hulk.

Hulk's brutal strength, savage fighting ability and inexhaustable supply of energy ensures he is a tough opponent against any and all. In close quarters, however, Deadpool's superior speed, weaponry and mastery of said weaponry are all potential skills that could trump the green goliath.
Couple those with a quirky sense of humor, and there's a recipe for outsmarting and out maneuvering the hulking... Hulk. That is, unless, this isn't the moronic day-to-day Hulk.

As was quite frequently mentioned in the punch-up, this Hulk is much like the kind the Backstreet Boys would have sung about - incomplete.
Exactly what that means is a discussion for another time, but it does beg the question of exactly what kind of Hulk Deadpool is fighting. In the past, an 'incomplete' picture for the Hulk would probably conjure one of two images:

- Either the Hulk has regressed into a savage, unruly state.
- Or, alternatively, he's regressed to a weaker state.

Either toss of the coin brings up the Hulk.
So, regardless of the details, you'd probably still have to favour the Hulk on paper, because as we already mentioned, beneath that costume Deadpool is crispy creme.

What went down...
If the Hulk's gamma-irradiated blood had a name, it would be Susan, because Deadpool was desprately seeking it. Fortunately enough for him, and us, the Hulk is a pretty accomodating fellow, and our scene opens with the big green goof just standing around on some Duck Key rooftops.

With a little encouragment, our favourite merc with a mouth drops in on the lone Hulk, and does what he does best - passively provoke! Hulk smash!

Now, remember how I was saying Hulk is Backstreet Back? Well, apparently being incomplete makes him a bit of a sarcastic jerk, and therefore smarter than your average Hulk. Look to the right there. What a jerk!

Still, Deadpool is speedy like the gonzales, and avoids a smashing only to pop up behind Hulk and slash him with his sword. Ouchie!

Unfortunately, as Hulk points out, "... The trick isn't cutting the Hulk... It's getting the Hulk to stay cut!"
As if that kind of jerky delivery wasn't bad enough, he then grabs a veedub, with the intentions of squashing Deadpool like a bug - with a bug!

Luckily Doc Killbrew and Siryn, Deadpool's travelling buddies, brought a spaceship thingy equipped with lasers. The lasers sufficiently distract the jerk-Hulk from Deadpool, but unfortunately for them, he decides to huck the car up at them. Luckily Siryn is a good pilot, and Hulk's maybe a bit of a lousy shot.

Caan't miss when you're perched on a guy's back, though!
Deadpool leaps on the distracted Hulkster, and stabs him again with his sword!
That doesn't do much more than make Hulk mad, though. He disses Hulk Hogan, and then whacks Deadpool through the window of a clothing store. Nasty!

With the sword still stuck in his back, Hulk goes on a rampage stright for 'Pool, while ranting on about the hopelessness of existence, and the inevitable existential dilemmas of lonliness and life. Oh no! He's turned into Emo-Hulk!

So, anyway, Hulk does one of those super-leaps to put the crushing on Deadpool, and winds up with a broken roadsign through his crotch. Straight through to his back! Bummer, dude!

Hulk gets kind of morose about his whole situation, while Deadpool fills the cup... With Hulk's blood... Which he needs to cure himself from death! Geez...

'Pool teleports his way back to the mothership, and Doc Killbrew earns the latter part of his name, and percolates up a fresh batch of death-curing Hulk's blood. Sadly, this transfusion does not have similar results to that which took hold on one Jennifer Walters. Which is a shame, because imagine how cool Hulkpool woulda been!

The hammer...
Dananananananana dananananananana Deadpool!

Deadpool has quite possibly never been as good as he was in the hands of Joe Kelly and Ed McGuinness. These issues were energetic, mad-cap, and a little on the obnoxious side at times, but undisputedly some of the best Deadpool you'll ever read.

Which is interesting, because really, he's a wooden patchwork Lefield character, who should've died on the table. Which, I guess, was really the advantage of the character. He had so little going for him, it was easy enough to spin a really interesting character out of it, without really pissing off any zealous fans.

Of course, changing the merc with a mouth now would upset plenty, because he's developed such a hardcore cult audience, and maintains that despite being teamed up with Cable. Who is lame.

Still, I know what you're thinking... This is supposed to be Hulk month!
Okay, riddle me this, fanboys. Who would make a fantastic penciller for the stagnant Hulk monthly? Ed McGuinness, that's who. The guy is a Hulk fiend, and from what I've heard, the guy actually really likes drawing the character. It's a perfect match!

For me, even though we're tackling Hulk this month, it's a character that hasn't appealed to me in a long time. Which is sort of ironic, because for Hulk month three of the issues of focus are from the mid-nineties, which really wasn't the greatest of years for Hulk, or Marvel in general.

They were pretty fun, though, and I guess that's what matters here.
Ed McGuinness isn't going to sell a dramatic, dark psycho-drama about the struggles of the various Hulk personalities -- but he's going to be fantastic on a fun Hulk comic, that has the villains and the big hero violence.
With the Bendis 'over talk to sound realistic' kind of dialogue that's swept comics, it's kind of disheartening that the superhero fight is almost looked down on.

Obviously it's a facet that works very well, and hasn't shown any sign of going away, but it's just not cool. You can't jump on a message board and say 'this guy and this guy - who would win?' without getting at least a few sneers.
That said, you get something like the Hulk film, which I really loved, that's criticised for not having enough punching and smashing.

Hulk's an interesting character, and not necessarily a character that's money in the bank anymore. Right now the Planet Hulk storyline has been rolling on, and the premise is certainly interesting enough, but it just doesn't interest me. It's kinda like Thing stuck on another planet, which just didn't interest me, either.

So, what would I love to see? If it were me calling the shots, I'd dedicate at least half a year to bringing Hulk back to Earth and having him fight the biggest, coolest choices you could offer up, and I'd have Ed McGuinness drawing it.
Rhino, Juggernaut, Super Skrull, Sub-Mariner -- big guys fighting! Yeah!

Then once that's out of my system, maybe I go back to basics, and see how Planet Hulk affected Banner.

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 5.5

NEXT: There's a new element in Gotham, and it's offing villains!

MONTHLY SMASH-UP #6
Well, everyone in the present will know I'm a month and a half behind on updates right now, and frantically trying to catch up before the end of July.

Still, I don't think that's spoiled what has been a super month of Secret Wars on Infinite Earths!

After three long months of mad Mondays, I have to say it's been very nice to officially wrap up the DC versus Marvel entries. Though I probably slacked off a little, and ended up with some tedious entries for tedious battles, it was still a lot of fun as a retrospective. Bizarre to think it's been ten years already!

I wonder if we'll still be talking ten years from now.
Speaking of which, I've noticed hits have slowly begun creeping back up, and the page is even turning up a few extra search results, so feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you're thinking about the world of comics!

On a more practical note, no doubt you'll have notied the regularly updated top ten creator list to the right of the main page [currently topped out by Ron Marz].
This list is a fun little addition in a similar spirit to the monthly top five heroes/villains. Like the top five, these results are all calculated mathematically, in this case based on ratings of issues. It's for this reason that Ron Marz has shot to the top, despite only being featured as part of the DC versus Marvel madness.

When Secret Earths began back in December of 2005, we didn't feature ratings for each issue. Therefore, in the interest of maintaining balance, retroactive ratings will be allocated over the next month.

Coming in June:
As you might have guessed from the post-title, this month is all about Hulk on Mondays. Spinning out of his fisticuffs with Superman, I've rummaged through my modest collection to pick out some interesting, but perhaps less traditional Hulk battles.

(June 05) Hulk smash! The card opens with a most unlikely of encounters between an incomplete green goliath, and a certain merc with a mouth who needs a litle gamma irradiated blood to help with his acne problem.
(June 09) This one's all about keeping it current. A brand new villain does away with a cold oldie, in the beginning of a storyline from DC that establishes a new order in the streets of Gotham.
(June 12) Hulk smash! Following on from last Monday, this entry elaborates on the condition of an incomplete Hulk as he tackles an entire team of puny humans. Well, there's at least one chick who isn't puny... but don't tell Hulk.
(June 16) This extreme issue was one I just had to include. With an upcoming film to take inspiration from this story, we'll showcase a fight from a redefining chapter in a certain golden Avenger's history.
(June 19) Hulk smash! The Hulk takes on a top five stalwart in the first of the upper card showdowns. Rampaging in New York, can Hulk find peace, or will justice be forced to turn a blind eye to the man behind the monster?
(June 23) This one is simply made for our website.
Two of the most powerful (and wholesome) enities in the DC universe are going to go head to head on Secret Earths at last! Shazam!
(June 26) Hulk smash! In the headlining Hulk ho-down, the final piece of the incomplete Hulk puzzle is revealed - and it's going to pound a certain Avenger mentioned previously into paste. Which isn't so bad, since his heart could give out at any moment!
(June 30) Finally, Hulk month rounds out with a showcase of the cousin!
An appeal earned She-Hulk the right to a rematch against Champion of the Universe, and her three months are up! Will training be enough to take the greatest fighter in the cosmos, or will brain trump brawn? (Gee, can y'guess?...)

So, how's that for a slice of fried Hulk? I thought so!
Now, on to business if you don't mind, puny human!

The top five...
Ah yes, the top five. Some believe the greatest accolades in comics come from the Eisner awards or Wizard Fan Votes, but alas, the greatest honor is to be one of the listed results beneath the top five super heroes and villains.

After six months of entries, the top five has begun to settle out as more popular and more successful characters begin to take a stride ahead of the pack. Some of these results may surprise you, others may enrage you, but know this... Though Wolverine may appear in eighteen issues a month, he can never take your freedom.*

#1 Batman (-) (6) (DC Comics)
It's probably become a bit of a bore, and as trailing challengers begin to slip away, Batman's dominence seems to only further assert itself.
From the very beginning we all knew to expect dominance by the batty-one, but it may still come as a shock to know Batman has reigned number one every month thus far.

Perhaps a challenge is in order to regular readers: Name your challenger. Who has the skills and the stature to deserve to knock the mighty Dark Knight off his lofty pedestal? Better yet -- who has?

- Batman versus Superman (December 23, 2005)
- Batman versus Superman (January 06, 2006)
- Batman & Red Hood versus The Society (January 27, 2006)
- Batman versus Captain America (May 15, 2006)
- Batman versus Bullseye (May 22, 2006)

#2 Superman (+79) (new) (DC comics)
Well, faster than a speeding bullet, Superman manages to speed his way from the very bottom of the rankings to the very top.
Understandably a contender, Superman no doubt owes far less to his on-the-page fighting prowess, as much as he does to his stature as an industry and cultural icon. Taking a starring role in the Marvel versus DC activities, Superman racked up the victories.

With the beginning of June promising a big budget summer blockbuster from Warner Brothers, Superman may be returning to screens, but he's only just arriving at Secret Earths. Although, one imagines he'll be around for a while.

- Superman versus Batman (December 23, 2005)
- Superman versus Batman (January 06, 2006)
- Superman versus Hulk (May 08, 2006)
- Superman versus Juggernaut (May 22, 2006)
- Superman & Hulk versus Metallo (May 22, 2006)
- Superman & Hulk versus Moleman (May 22, 2006)

#3 Daredevil (-1) (5) (Marvel comics)
Well, after giving such hopeful chase to the Batman, ol' horn head hits a wall of circumstance, despite being still undefeated.
Not popular enough to be among the featured champions in DC versus Marvel, Daredevil goes two months without a feature here on Secret Earths.

Those close to the character know to never count the guardian devil of Hell's kitchen out, no matter how down on his luck he may be.

Though currently in jail, Daredevil is as good as he's ever been in the hands of Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark. It's almost certain you'll see red johns featured in the coming months, and the slow climb will begin anew.

- Daredevil versus Scope (January 13, 2006)
- Daredevil & Elektra versus Bullseye (February 17, 2006)
- Daredevil versus Turk (March 10, 2006)

#4 Wolverine (+1) (3) (Marvel Comics)
Well, as much as you have to hate the over saturation of the character, he more than earns his way on a website like this.
Chances are the killer Canuck will take a breaker from feature on Secret Earths, but the scalps he's already taken might just keep him in the top five for a while.

Wolverine's greatest failings, like a Daredevil, is his capacity for failure. In Wolverine's case, that's largely dependent on a wreckless flaunting of his mutant healing factor. Those defeats will hold the character in check, for now.

- Wolverine versus X-Men w/ Captain America (December 02, 2005)
- Wolverine versus The Invaders (December 30, 2005)
- Wolverine versus Lobo (April 17, 2006)
- X-Men (inc. Wolverine) & Juggernaut versus Nimrod (April 28, 2006)
- Wolverine versus Killer Croc (May 22, 2006)
- Wolverine versus Deathstrike (May 26, 2006)

#5 Zatanna (-2) (4) (DC comics)
Well, an impressive fourth week in the top five for Zatanna.
The simple fact is - Zatanna will not last. This character, as interesting as she is, is completely under my radar and will not likely appear again for quite some time.

As it is, I think I'm just surprise and impressed that a third-tier character like Zatanna maintain a presence here. As I've said before, I try not to project results, making the month end as much of a surprise for me, as it is for you. Fantastic to see some diversity in the list.

- Justice League (inc. Zatanna) versus Deathstroke (December 16, 2005)
- Zatanna versus Zor (February 24, 2006)
- Justice League (inc. Zatanna) versus The Demons Three (April 07, 2006)

Ones to watch...
Well, privvy to the complete rankings list, it's always a bit of fun to speculate where characters might end-up in the next few months. Consider it, also, a mini-game to bet against friends on odds of characters rising, with cookies, or spare change.

#8 Captain America (+1) (Marvel comics)
Last month Cap sat as favourite to rise, and while he wasn't able to work his way into the top five, he remains a lurking threat - quite literally. As the Civil War continues to boil away in the Marvel Universe, Captain America remains at the forefront of every fanboy's conciousness.

#9 Hulk (+33) (Marvel comics)
While Planet Hulk hasn't quite grabbed me in, June is Hulk month, so to expect him to walk away any less than number five would be ludicrous. Of course, the question is really just how far can Hulk go?

The time period in question features an incomplete Hulk, so victories will be in question. Still, with rumblings already making their way across the net about the Hulk's return from space, it's almost a guarantee Hulk will hit top five before the end of the year.

#22 Iron Man (-5) (Marvel comics)
Despite slipping, Iron Man's rise to the top is overdue.
Not only will Tony Stark lead one of the factions through the Civil War event, but news continues to percolate regarding the film, to be directed by Jon Favreau.
Iron Man is a property to watch, and is truly ascending to the top of the Marvel universe.

#69 Captain Marvel (-4) (DC comics)
The Big Red Cheese is going through some changes in the wake of Infinite Crisis, and it's much bigger than noticing lightning bolt shaped hair in strange places.
Though Marvel have managed a dominating plate in the stakes, DC's golden oldies remain steadfast.

#89 She-Hulk (-18) (Marvel comics)
Caught in the middle of Civil War, the second season of this book continues to show why Dan Slott is one of the most exciting talents in comics today!
Thing may have been given the shaft, but She-Hulk's still fighting the good fight, and let's be honest. A superhero gets a scheduled rematch? After losing?
Pffft, I'd take those odds!

The hammer...
Well, this may be the June punch-up, but this post is going out in the middle of July. So, I have to give a big thanks to all still checking the place out, and just enjoying it for what it is.

Secret Earths remains an elitist-free zone for enjoying superheroes, and superhero comics in the silliest, and most enjoyable way possible: With stats!

Sixteen entries in half a month would be a big ask, but even though July 21st is my birthday, the seventh month won't feature Mad Mondays. This will help catch up on entries by cutting the load.
The addition of themed entries may return once things are back on track.

Until then, thanks again folks.
Stay tuned! Got some great, green action for June!

NEXT: Hulk month kicks off with a crotch impalment. Now you've gotta tune in!
May Hit Count: 1270** (+172)

* Tony Stark and SHIELD will be taking care of that.
** Hit count was recorded May 31. Hits for posts made may be reflected in June count.

DEATHSTRIKE versus WOLVERINE
"X-Men United" (Twentieth Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment)
Where: X-Men 2 When: 2003
Why: Bryan Singer, Zak Penn, David Hayter, Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris How: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Sir Ian McKellan, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Bruce Davidson, Aaron Stanford, Shawn Ashmore, Kelly Hu, Cotter Smith

The story so far...
Having spent life as a loner, a school for gifted youngsters seems like the last place the man called Wolverine would come to settle.

Never the less, caught between two warring factions of mutants, Wolverine finds refuge with the militant X-Men, and joins them in their battle against evil mutants, and the prejudicial forces of humanity.

As human-mutant tensions mount, a staged attack on the United States President prompts presidential authorization to unleash William Stryker and his forces on the X-Men.

Stryker, though a zealous anti-mutant bigot, holds the keys to Wolverine's past with the Weapon X project. Thus, it is with great reluctance that he draws his claws against him.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Deathstrike 4 (Steroid Popper)
Intelligence: Wolverine 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Deathstrike 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Wolverine 6 (Generator)
Agility: Deathstrike 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Draw 1 (None)

As has been the standard at Secret Earths, the statistics listed above are an average assessment of a character's abilities based on as close to a definitive version as possible. Usually this means info is drawn from the comic book incarnation of these characters, but as we have a very special circumstance here, we should perhaps look at the price of adaptation.

Changes to the Wolverine character are minimal, but Deathstrike slides significantly down the scale.

In the X2 film Lady Deathstrike is without any kind of cybernetic enhancements, yet, she does possess organic, retractable nails on each of her fingers, which have all been laced with unbreakable adamantium.
She also retains the healing factor that has appeared in certain incarnations of the character, but ramped up to a level parallel with Wolverine's healing abilities.

Thus, in many ways the character becomes more grounded in the context of the X-Men mythos, but no less formidable. In fact, this Deathstrike retains the impressive fighting abilities, but displays them in a far more refined fashion than the comic book Deathstrike, who bares a clumsy resemblence to the slashing stylings of other comic book fighters.

All of that said - Wolverine is the best there is at what he does.
Perhaps not as quick or agile as Deathstrike, Wolverine brings with him a certain ferocity and brutality that always manages to get the job done. The only frequent question with Wolverine is whether or not it will take more than one go.

This incarnation, at least as far as we know, has no personal connection or history with Wolverine. This serves to nullify one of Deathstrike's great advantages, and so, one would have to lean toward Wolverine as the victor here.

Still, like so many of these fantastic feuds, these are two closely matched warriors with common abilities.

What went down...
In the place of his rebirth, the Wolverine scours the underground labs and corridors for clues and glimpses of his past. Here he walks into a lab laden with slashed concrete, with a vat of bubbling metal, and a table that's all too familiar.

Wolverine's maker, William Stryker enters, and shows Wolverine that he isn't the unique specimen he may have otherwise thought he was.

Deathstrike, under the influence of Stryker's mind-controlling substance, charges in and prevents any pirsuit of Stryker with a stiff backhand to the face.
Popping his claws, Wolverine discovers just how similar the mutant before him is, as she brandishes her own long, adamantium laced claws.

Deathstrike launches herself into a spinning attack - claws extended - slashing Wolverine's face and gut mercilessly. Wolverine retaliates with a brutish stab, but Deathstrike ducks, weaves, and strikes. Deathstrike's superior speed, and stinging shots are more than enough to best most men, but the Wolverine's healing factor keeps him in the fight.

Deathstrike continues the assault, stabbing the gut and abdomen, before whipping Wolverine across the room to crash into one of the concrete support pillars. Wolverine recovers, and launches into a berzerker attack, ultimately running the controlled Deathstrike through with his razor claws.

In a brilliant piece of cinema, Deathstrike's defeated gasp turns to a glee filled smirk as she wraps one taloned hand around Wolverine's arms, and then another, only to launch herself from her position of impalement.
The stunned Wolverine is capable of little more than rolling with the punches [or kicks] to the head.

The fight continues with further lethal blows nailed, before Wolverine finds himself stabbed and flipped into the air, landing on a metal lowering platform above the watery tub that was the scene of his metallic injection.

Blood drips to the water below, as Deathstrike continues to pierce organs and innards that would instantly murder any ordinary man.

Desperately seeking space, Wolveirne throws his claws out and severs the chains that connect the platform to the ceiling. With Deahstrike clinging below, the platform crashes to a stop atop the tub below, and gives Wolverine a moment to heal and breathe.

The relief does not last long, as Deathstrike emerges from the pool below with claws at the ready.
Desperately the Wolverine rolls, and reaches for aid, as Deathstrike continues to puncture and pierce the troubled hero like a pin cushion.

Wracked with pain, Wolverine is able to reach for one of the injection devices above, and drives it deep into Deathstrike, before flipping the switch.

As Deathstrike jolts to a stop, the haze incurred by Stryker's chemical dissipates.
For the briefest of moments Deathstrike appears a sympathetic character, before she clunks to the bottom of the pool below. Filled with adamatium, and mournful sorrow for her own life.

The hammer...
Okay, maybe I embellished a little on the ending there, regardless, Wolverine emerges from this film victorious.

[Though quite delayed, this entry was to acknowledge and tribute the release of the third instalment of the X-franchise - X-Men: The Last Stand. - Mike]

There probably isn't much that hasn't already been said about the first two X-Men films.
Though preceded by the sleeper hit, Blade, the first X-Men film arguably propelled superhero films into the mainstream spotlight -- not as cheesy concession films -- but as real deal stories with big screen characters. Of course, most of us comic readers already knew the untapped potential between the pages, but we won't hold that against anyone.

X-Men 2, which introduced Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler, took the world established in the first film and expanded upon similar themes to encompass the human element of bigotry and hatred.
While William Stryker was a character superbly handled by Brian Cox, and the story made good use of adapting material from Chris Claremont's graphic novel [God loves, Man kills.]; I do tend to find the film a little shallow.

One particularly simple cinema philosphy says of a sequel, 'the audience simply wants to see what they saw last time, only different, and more of it.'
Seeing Magneto [McKellen] and his crusade against humans justified was certainly a thrilling prospect, but instead this film, in many ways, feels more like everything the first wished it could have been had it not been required to pander through introductions.

The monotoned seriousness of these pictures did incredibly well to deliver the source material with the maturity and diction it deserved; however, it unfortunately leaves the finished product somewhat hollow.
Quiet character moments, such as religious waxings between Nightcrawler and Storm [Halle Berry], serve more as actor-indulgent distractions, than as layers of diversity. Thus, instead, a second viewing reviews a meandering one-note plot.

Of course, that over simiplified statement does not represent everything on screen. While a little painful to watch in succession, both films truly honor the spirit of the grand concept of the X-Men, and accurately deliver incarnations of some of it's most popular characters.

Superb action, fantastic effects, and as far as story diversity goes - Hugh Jackman certainly earns his Wolverine spin-off film.
The unlikely understudy from Oz perpetuates the franchise legend of Wolverine, and does it with energy and a rugged charm. This once unknown stage actor mixes it up with the best of them - quite literally. This character not only competes against the mutant powers of Magneto and Mystique, but also shares a screen with the likes of; Patrick Stewart, Sir Ian McKellen, Brian Cox, Anna Paquin and Alan Cumming.

As for the fate of Deathstrike?
Fact finders may be interested to refer to X-Men: The Official Game, which features story bridging between X2: X-Men United and X3: The Last Stand.

In the game, it is revealed Deathstrike was able to survive her adamantium 'overdose' and she returns as an agent of HYDRA previously trained by Silver Samurai.

The Fight: 4.5 The Movie: 5

NEXT: June is Hulk month, with four rounds of puny human smashing Monday madness! More about everything to come in the punch-up!

DC versus MARVEL
(DC/Marvel)
Where: DC versus Marvel #1/#4, Marvel versus DC #2/#3 When: March/April 1996
Why: Ron Marz/Peter David How: Dan Jurgens/Claudio Castellini

The recap...
- Captain Marvel versus Thor
- Aquaman versus Sub-Mariner
- Flash versus Quicksilver
- Robin versus Jubilee
- Green Lantern versus Silver Surfer
- Catwoman versus Elektra
- Lobo versus Wolverine
- Wonder Woman versus Storm
- Superboy versus Spider-man
- Superman versus Hulk
- Batman versus Captain America

For the past three months Secret Earths has featured the events of the mini-series that broke all the boundaries, and brought DC and Marvel face to face, ten years ago.

Pitted against one another by two cosmic entities; champions from the Marvel and DC universes did battle to save their universe from extinction.
In the end Batman and Captain America would be catalysts for saving both universes, as the young new cosmic hero, Access, merged realities to create the 'Amalgam' universe.

Though this merged universe could not last, in the end, the triumphs and tribulations of the lives lived by Captain America and Batman were enough to save their worlds. In the last moments the two cosmic 'brothers' that waged war with their pawns were satisfied, and spoke for the first time to say, "You've done well!"

Despite officially winning it six-to-five, Marvel and DC, represented by these two cosmic entities, make a rare gesture of sincerity and congratulate each other on a job well done. Which is all good and well, but what about the 'unofficial' fights peppered and alluded to throughout the series?

Superman versus Juggernaut (DC versus Marvel #1)
What originally begins as yet another tussle between the X-Men and Juggernaut, takes a curious twist. As the mighty Juggernaut prepares to deliver a crushing blow to a floored Wolverine, he finds himself among the earliest targets of this cosmic crossover event.
The follow through of the previous punch collides with the side of a building - the Daily Planet - which doesn't make a great first impression.

A streaking blue collides with the helmet of the Juggernaut, and actually manages to floor the unstoppable force! Though this encounter was brief, this is deemed conclusive of a result.
Winner: Superman

Batman & Robin versus Bullseye (DC versus Marvel #1)
What a delicious turn of events. While the Joker was crazy enough not to engage a disaplaced Spider-man - Bullseye is unstable enough to snatch the nearest kid in a cave, and start demanding answers.
Unfortunately for him, one of those answers is "Batman."

With a knife to Robin's throat, Bullseye holds Batman in a stand-off, batarang drawn. The man who doesn't miss teases Batman, cutting at the mask of Robin and speculating his chances of a miss.

The boy wonder, hardly helpless, elbows the fiend in the neck, giving Batman an opening to toss his batarang. However, even stunned, Bullseye is able to snatch the weapon out of the air, and whip it right back at the target.

Much to Bullseye's dismay, however, Batman is able to duck and weave the return attack, and swiftly plant a stiff left on the chin of the Marvel villain.
"You hit... even harder than... than... Daredevil..."
Winner: Batman (w/ Robin)

Wolverine versus Killer Croc (Marvel versus DC #2)
Bursting from the sewers, Killer Croc and Wolverine go at it tooth and nail - literally!
With several on lookers (including Clark Kent and Ben Reilly), the two feral fighters do battle and exchange quips. The two battle their way into the streets, careering into a toy store, as Wolverine takes an apparent offensive.

While no definitive blow is struck on the page, Wolverine is free to accompany Gambit in stealing the Batmobile. Though apparent that Killer Croc is defeated, it is possible he escaped.
Winner: Inconclusive (draw)

Bane versus Captain America (Marvel versus DC #2)
The battle of the serum enhanced super soldiers!
As Cap's shield hurls out of reach, Bane mocks his opponent as he prepares to deliver a back breaking finishing move that will leave the Captain crippled and helpless.

As Bane mocks the Captain's strategy, his full frontal assault turns out to be an error of judgment. Cap's shield, ever a faithful weapon, comes boomerang around right into the back of Bane's skull. Ouch. Schooled by the master!
"Now... No more back talk from you."
Winner: Captain America

Peter Parker versus Scarecrow & Scarecrow (Marvel versus DC #2)
Walking the streets alone can be dangerous, but that goes double when you're Lois Lane - professional damsel in distress!
In a meeting of gimmicks, both the Marvel and DC Scarecrows come up with the genius plan of kidnapping Superman's gal for whatever genius reason that goes unsaid.

Luckily Planet photographer Peter Parker is nearby, and able to unload some mean martial arts skills on the two fear enducing putzes.
Winner: Peter "Ben Reilly" Parker

Hulk & Superman versus Metallo (Marvel versus DC #3)
Beamed to Metropolis, Hulk finds himself dealing with a metallic hulking maniac called Metallo. Using a nearby giant Superman statue, Hulk smashes the 'metal geek' around a bit, until Superman finally shows up.

Confronting each other for their official bout, the two do away with Metallo switfly with a double punch, before being teleported to clearer grounds.
Winners: Superman & Hulk

Dark Claw & Super-Soldier versus Hyena (DC versus Marvel #4)
Dark Claw lurks across the rooftops, pursuing his arch-nemesis the Hyena.
Dark Claw attempts to put an end to the pursuit, hurtling a bomb at his foe, but Hyena is able to rip a chimney from a roof and swat it away toward innocents below.

The intervention of Super-Soldier sees a happy ending for the folks below.
As Hyena thinks he's finally made his get-away, the two heroes loom on the rooftop waiting for him.

Hyena backflips away, and makes his way to the streets below where Access, a character with newly acquired powers, finds himself the target of a hostage situation.

Of course, as Hyena leaps at his potential ticket out, Access creates a portal to someplace unknown, and lets Hyena send himself away.
Access attends to more important business, like seperating the Amalgam universe into the Marvel and DC universe via bits hidden in Captain America and Batman.
Winner: Access (w/ Dark Claw & Super-Soldier)

Hulk & Superman versus Moleman & the Moloids (DC versus Marvel #4)
In the batcave, Hulk emerges to tackle the swarming Moloid masses led by the Moleman. Using a well shined giant penny, Hulk flattens an armada of Moloids, and then tussles it up with the little freaks himself.
The cavalry arrives in the form of Superman, who deflects a blast from the Moloids' "greatest weapon" - a very Kirby laser canon.

Moleman and his Moloids are forced into retreat.
Winners: Superman & Hulk

Superboy versus Kingpin (DC versus Marvel #4)
As Wilson Fisk abuses his powers as owner of the Daily Planet, Spider-man swings in to heckle his long-standing foe.
Having already laid Perry White on his ass, Kingpin doesn't even see the brazen attack from Superboy coming. Some tight pants, a bulky jacket and a little 'tactile telekenisis' later, and Kingpin's getting dumped through a table.
Winner: Superboy

Elektra & Catwoman versus Abomination (DC versus Marvel #4)
Though the battle is sufficiently depicted (and considerably one-sided), in the end the sky turning to blood proves too much of a distraction.
Winner: Inconclusive (draw)

Flash & Quicksilver versus Venom (DC versus Marvel #4)
As the Marvel villains continue to get a good run in the wrap up of this mini-series, Flash and Quicksilver, though much better matched, find themselves sufficiently distracted during their fight.
Winner: Inconclusive (draw)

JLA/Avengers versus Darkseid & Thanos (DC versus Marvel #4)
A collection of heroes from both universes charge in to do battle with the wagering titans, Darkseid and Thanos.
Darkseid takes delight in finding "fire" in the mighty Thor, who deflects deadly eye beams from the ruler of Apokolips. The Silver Surfer and Storm swoop in for attacks on Darkseid, but they prove ineffective, as Darkseid topples Thor with a second eyebeam attack.

Meanwhile Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel fare better with Thanos, drawing first blood.

As the two fights converge, a thumped Wonder Woman hands Thor the mighty Mjolnir, much to his surprise.

As the sky turns to blood, these heroes too are distracted.
Winner: Draw

The hammer...
So, in the end, with these additional fights, who is the true winner?
Well, by Secret Earths standards it was a draw. While the official fights drew a 6-5 finish, additional fights ended in an 8-all draw, with a bunch o' ties and inconclusive results. Bravo to fair conclusions.

All in all this probably wasn't the greatest crossover event. As alluded to by some of these extra fights, there was a lot of fertile ground that went untouched.
That said, it's been a lot of fun taking a look at each battle the past few months, and filling the site with entries based on comics that were just made for a site like this.

Unfortunately, criticms of this mini-series come to mind far quicker than praise.
Perhaps some of the most bitter results are the chances missed. Some of the fights alluded to, but not given enough screen time to make this extras special included: Steel versus Absorbing man, Green Lantern versus Green Goblin, Daredevil versus the Riddler, Batman versus Venom, Captain Marvel versus Dr. Doom, Punisher versus Deathstroke, Etrigan versus Ghost Rider, Thing.Human Torch versus Firestorm/Martian Manhunter, Superman versus Annihilus, Spider-man versus Man-Bat and Nightwing versus Gambit.

If even a fraction of that list could have been given a look in, this series might have even scraped through with obscurity cred. Unfortunately, these just highlight a lot of missed chances, sitting next to a lot of half-done fights listed in this entry, and even in previous 'official' entries.
I would also particularly highlight the absence of big names like the Fantastic Four and the Martian Manhunter, lucky to get even a one-page mention.

Overall, I suppose a lot of this has to be put down to the era.
The writing is not at all intelligent, providing a fairly standard cosmic romp with a lot of quick, vingettes for each fight. The drama and the story of each conflict is completely absent here, and that's a shame.

Visually the book is also lacking. Castellini and Jurgens appear as somewhat unusual choices for a project so huge in the context of comics history.
For a one-time situation, it's disappointing that more range and variety couldn't have been offered up.

Personally I'd love to see another effort, with contemporary talents and characters spreading the event across several mini-series and one-shots. Guys like Brian Bendis and Ed Brubaker with Michael Lark on Daredevil/Batman.
Characters like the JSA, the JLA and the Avengers all interacting. There really are endless possibilities.

Never the less, it was a very fun series, and great to see what we did.

Next month, as voted by poll, Monday madness will feature fights starring the Hulk! Hope you enjoyed revisiting Marvel versus DC, I know I did (even if it is 2am!)!

NEXT: Another special event! Celebrating the release of X3, Wolverine takes on a bitter foe in a whole other medium! Stay tuned!

RYU versus SAGAT
(UDON Comics)
Where: Street Fighter II #2 When: December 2005
Why: Ken Siu-Chong How: Alvin Lee

The story so far...
Having already tasted defeat at the hands of the murderous Akuma; Ryu sets out to better prepare himself for avenging his master, Gouken.

Seeking balance and means to protect himself from being engulfed by the same dark hadou that seduced Akuma, Ryu follows his nemesis Sagat to India.

There he finds the yoga master Dhalsim, who has taken Sagat as his student. Ryu is intrigued by Dhalsim's passive teachings of strength of mind, and ponders how such uncharacteristic techniques could be employed by Sagat.

Just a he asks his question, the answer emerges from behind the curtain.
Ryu stands face to face with his nemesis: the Muay Thai champion - Sagat.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Sagat 4 (Steroid Popper)
Intelligence: Sagat 2 (Normal Human)
Speed: Ryu 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Ryu 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Ryu 2 (Normal Human)
Fighting Ability: Ryu 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: Ryu 3 (Expolsives)

Like so many times before, these stats do not accurately capture just how tight a match up this is. Like so many classic feuds, this is potentially a see-sawing situation, with both characters being incredibly well matched.
These stats are, however, probably somewhat indicative of Ryu's legendary victory over Sagat.

Perhaps the most notable gap between the two is strength.
Though there's a legitimate argument that strength in a human fight is only so effective, when possessed by a fighter as skilled as Sagat, it regains it's credibility as a supreme advantage.

Sagat's strength is inherently connected to his incredible size, which also extends to give him an advantage of reach. This makes his Muay Thai kicks all the more formidable, not to discount his mighty punches.

Ryu's superior speed is a potential counter for some of Sagat's advantages of size and strength. Particularly in the case of tiger energy attacks, where Sagat is perhaps slightly slower and less naturally gifted with harnessing his chi.
The hadou techniques employed by Ryu are also a distinct advantage, quite apparently more powerful than Sagat, particularly before his extended training.

It was Ryu's sho-ryu-ken attack that scarred Sagat's chest.

Rounded down, Sagat is an incredibly formidable opponent by any measure.
That said, Ryu's skill and development characteristic to many Japanese martial arts heroes places him ahead of the pack. His earnest, good nature always ensures a potential comeback in the face of adversity, also.

What went down...
Energies crackle as the two mighty world warriors clash.
Sagat's newly grounded focus makes his tiger fists surprisingly effective in an energy clash against hadou chi.

Ryu hurtles through the wall of Dhalsim's temple, rolling with the blow to ready himself for the stalking Sagat.

Sagat throws a verbal assault, questioning Ryu's motives for seeking him out before the next Street Fighter tournament. It was there he had intended to reveal to Ryu his true power, under the situation of a rematch.

Struggling to block a diving foot, Ryu throws a kick and reveals that he sought Sagat out because he respected his prowess as a fighter, and needed his help in order to tame the dark energies threatening his soul.

Ryu leaps a tiger blast, countering with a tornado kick, which Sagat blocks.
He continues to compliment Sagat, whilst ducking a roundhouse kick, but the Muay Thai king is only insulted by Ryu's implication that he provided little more than a sparring opportunity.

Sagat shows just what kind of sparring partner he can be, delivering a thunderous knee to the jaw of the rattled Ryu.
Ryu notes the greater focus and controlled strength in the once brazen fighter. He delivers a fist, but the "effortless" strokes of the Muay Thai king continued to be too much for the Japanese shotokan fighter.

Ryu was able to block an elbow, and dodge a roundhouse, but Sagat's fluid motions connected into another devestating knee, this time to the stomach.

As Ryu begins to desperately question his ability to avenge his murdered master, Dhalsim solemnly declares that Sagat's victory is guaranteed.
"Ryu... You are fighting with despair and rage in your fists. You have already lost."

As Ryu looks to land a distracted punch, Sagat finds an unlikely opening and seizes it.
With energies crackling, Sagat unleashes the science of the eight limbs on Ryu in a devestating Tiger Raid combination. The finishing attack is so powerful, it sends Ryu into an adjacent wall.

With his opponent hunched against the wall, Sagat moves in, but does not finish him. Instead, to Ryu's surprise, he strikes the wall beside him, and walks away.

Sagat tells Ryu that he will be granted the same opportunity to train under Dhalsim before they meet again, and when they do, it will be at the rightful place - the upcoming Street Fighter tournament.
He tells Ryu that if it is the darkness in his soul that he must master, then Dhalsim's sage training is the answer.

Sagat then bows before Dhalsim, thanking and acknowledging all the truths he spoke. And then, he leaves Ryu to train.

The hammer...
Well, who would've thought back at the beginning that it would be Sagat who not only walks away victorious, but also takes the moral high ground.

In various mediums the character has been interpreted many different ways, and I have to admit, initially I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about this righteous Sagat. Ultimately, I think he's probably handled quite superbly, and faithfully to the source material of the video games.

Although not necessarily very poignant or trendy, I'd have to call this one of the best books coming out right now. Having grown up loving Street Fighter and it's characters, I'm probably not the most impartial source to ask, but I honestly think this just has to be one of the most exciting books going around.
In fact, it joins Blue Beetle and Nextwave in a month of picks that were chosen just because they made me so enthusiastic.

UDON's long awaited venture into publishing brings with it it's own special advantages and disadvantages.

Being an artist driven venture highlights perhaps both the good and the bad.
One of my first criticisms would be the multitude of variant covers coming from the group. This remnant of the collector's boom of the nineties has begun to make itself a prevelant fact of our industry once more, but unlike some other fans, I'm not one to change my mind on the matter because of trends.

While not one to support variant covers, I won't let a second or third cover stand in the way of availability. I was only able to pick up the "2B" cover of this particular issue, and I have to give full credit to UDON and Skottie Young for a pretty superb piece of art. In fact, that is true of the entire production.

Utilizing space and resources well, UDON offers up a truly cinematic experience with it's CG laced, Capcom inspired art. Any fan of the Street Fighter series will be thoroughly impressed by the art direction Alvin Lee follows.
This style truly grounds every punch, kick, and yoga flame in the Street Fighter universe, and as a diehard fan, I love every minute of it.

The adaptation process deserves further praise on the writing side, also.
While not the most subtle or refined piece of writing, the overall character arcs and traits are asthetically pleasing. Drawing from a canon that is far less specific than a Tekken or Mortal Kombat, UDON and Ken Siu-Chong do well to steer close enough to the canon of the video games, while still telling an original and linear story.
Fans of the video games won't be spoiling the next page for their friends, but this touch ensure an extra fanboy buzz where projects like the Street Fighter II V animé series, or the previously reviewed Tokuma effort, don't have the joy of familiar characterization.

Of course, as I said, being so art driven, this might not be for the ilk particularly attracted to the thick, dialogue driven contemporary books that sell so well.
This certainly isn't the book for the insecure comic reader. Sometimes a little obvious, but always entertaining, I would strongly recommend this book to anyone interested in over the top martial arts, and/or pretty fight books.

No doubt you'll be seeing more Street Fighter reviews (and praise) from me in the future. I love it!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 6

NEXT: We wrap up the three-month DC versus Marvel madness, and examine just who really won the war. It's a Secret Wars on Infinite Earths spectacular! Be here!

CAPTAIN AMERICA versus BATMAN
"The Showdown of the Century!" (DC/Marvel Comics)
Where: Marvel versus DC #3 When: April 1996
Why: Ron Marz How: Claudio Castellini

The story so far...
Life in the DC and Marvel universes has always been tough, but when cosmic events conspire to endanger both, the heroes of both Earths face a secret crisis that could destroy them all.

Before time two cosmic entities existed, sexless brothers representing the two sides of all that is, was, and will ever be.

Turmoil between the two brought about an end to things as they once were, but in the aftermath their energies were dissipated into space, becoming part of the multi-verse. As a result of the actions of various beings of different realities, instabilities emerged. After eons of recollecting their fragmented thoughts, the two brothers turned, and remembered their existence.

Now they pit their warriors against one and other.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Captain America 3 (Trained Athlete)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Batman 3 (Trained Athlete)
Stamina: Captain America 5 (Marathon Runner)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Captain America 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Batman 2 (Projectile Weapons)

For those of you who've been following Secret Earths for a while now, you'll be familiar with the general stats of both of these guys. You'll know that they were predetermined long ago in month one, December 2005.
So, it's with great fanboy glee that I present these uninfluence stats that show the tug-of-war between these two characters, and their fighting potentials.

While many of these categories place the two on the same numerical rating, I've quite honestly weighed in which has the slight advantage.

Batman takes the speculative win three categories to four, and while I agree that Batman should be the victor here, it certainly isn't a clean cut decision. In fact, returning to the on-going theme of these Marvel vs DC fights, we see a fight still regularly contested amongst fans.

This is perhaps the most controversial of all the fights.
Batman, the deus ex he is, has a strong argument for victory. In context of a vote, he's a company icon, and carries with him the overwhelming popularity of a franchise character. Editorially it would be a cold day in hell before the character lost.

That said, Captain America is a character sometimes, in my opinion, underrated.
Often merely categorised as a man in peak physical condition, the super-soldier serum goes unrecognised as a boosting power. Captain America's strength and stamina should be recognised as superhuman.
While he does not possess even the strength of a Spider-man, he is a character with physical strength that still outweighs the chemically unaided power of Bruce Wayne.

In terms of hand-to-hand fighting, Captain America lacks a degree of finesse that Batman possesses as a result of his various martial arts styles. That said, the Captain probably has a superior knack for a skilless slug fest.Psychologically each character adds to their fighting abilities with symbollic assaults. The Batman has crafted for himself a persona criminals across the globe fear, while Captain America has the awe inspiring stature of a living legend.

Strategically each character has a very different credential.
Ultimately, it's probably the Batman's broader palette that gives him the upper hand. Rather than drawing from any particular military method of strategic thinking, most of Batman's prowess stems from deductive logic, and obsessive training to make his decision processes second nature.

The breadth of technology at Batman's disposal also gives him an additional edge, no matter how skilled the Captain may be with his shield.

What went down...
Sloshing through the muck of a Manhattan sewer, Captain America keeps his eyes peeled for a wile foe. Batman's dark exterior allows him to blend into the shadows, and spring a surprise attack, leaping down at the Captain from a raised vantage point.

Captain America recovers to use his shield to shvoe Batman out of his face, but Bats grabs hold of a pipe and swings back at him.
Cap dodges a punch, and strikes back with a thock that sends the Dark Knight flying.

The two characters, presumably having fought for quite some time, take a pause to gather themselves. The two debate their situation, deep within the labyrinth of Manhattan sewers.

Batman laments his distain for the situation, noting the billions of lives at stake in each universe. Though empathetic, the Captain can see no way to combat the will of the cosmic beings that pit them against one and other. Cosmic beings that will destroy both worlds if there is not an outcome.

Harking back to their origins, the two agree to pledge themselves to their universes to the very end, but then fate plays it's hand.
As the two toss their weapons in final battle, the pipe they stand before erupts with water as the system flushes out.

Cap's shield misses it's target, but the smaller batarang connects with Captain America's skull.
As the two are engulfed in filthy waters, Captain America is unable to protect himself, feeling the dizzying effects of a blow to the head.

Searching frantically for the colourful hero, Batman submerges beneath the water, finding the helpless warrior sinking. He scoops him, and returns to the surface.

The two champions emerge from the sewers via a manhole.
As the storm rages in the New York sky, the two stand back to back in an alley where a very special box sits before two special people.

Captain America may have lost the battle, but the war was not yet over...

The hammer...
As was declared by the sentinel of liberty himself, the Batman emerges from the sewers victorious. Thus, the incredible undefeated streak continues.

Though quite conclusive, I think it becomes clear why this is such a heavily debated subject among fandom. While the outcome was probably accurate, the depicted violence was less than satisfactory.

This fight, in many ways, compacts far less into it than the likes of Hulk/Superman; which adopted more of a montage presentation.
This fight, instead, takes the fairly easy way out by merely alluding to a lengthier battle than seen. This compounds the fact that what we do see is quite subaverage.

Again, like many other failings this series exhibits, this fight's brief nature could probably be pinned on conventions of the time. The purpose and story in many of the fights featured is distinctly lacking.
Of course, also like many of the other fights, this really had the potential to occupy and overtake an entire issue, and in some ways, I wish it had.

The excitement between these two characters meeting is very different to the pure comparison a fight like Sub-Mariner/Aquaman presents.
Here we have two characters elevated in stature in their respective universes, to the point of being spiritual leaders. Who also have the hand-to-hand chops to back up anything they have to say.

As the final fight, this really had the potential to be an epic, headlining duel of fates. This fight could've extended throughout the city, varying from close quarters technical sparring, to the unique experience of superhero urban warfare.
In fact, one can't help but wonder if the fight in the book, as the ending of something more, wasn't quite perfect. If the cramped, gloomy setting was the scene of Batman's ultimate victory in a city-spanning battle, this might have justified what we see.

Unfortunately, because there is no elaborated lead up, the fight suffers dramatically.
With characters like Batman and Captain America, I'd probably be harsher on the quality of writing in this portion, than others. It's just so disappointing that something more could not have come of it.

Perhaps, due to the nature of where the story goes next, a draw would have better served the series. Leaving the rematch to the future, where a true supreme fighter could be named.

The Fight: 2.5 The Issue: 4

NEXT: For a blog dedicated to comic book fights, what could be more appropriate than a a feud so bitter it's crossed video games, movies, and now comics? You don't want to miss this one!

NEXTWAVE versus FIN FANG FOOM
(Marvel Comics)
Where: Nextwave #2 When: April 2006
Why: Warren Ellis How: Stuart Immonen

The story so far...
It's like Shakespeare, but with lots more punching.
It's like Goethe, but with lots more crunching.
Like Titanic, but the boat's still floating.
No it's not! The mother-f***ing boat is exploding!

NEXTWAVE! NEXTWAVE!

Dirk Anger is one crazy mamajama. He leads H.A.T.E. sitting around in his pretty pink pajamas.
H.A.T.E. was formed by the Beyond Corporation. Purposely to bring about catastrophic devestation!

NEXTWAVE! Oh, NEXTWAVE!

Do you want a haircut? The Beyond Corporation's gonna help you out.
Do you need a toothbrush? The Beyond Corporation's got an extra one.
Do you have a step-son? The Beyond Corporation's gonna run him off.

Do you see a monster? Or a pirate? Electric Emu? A giant sky rat? A midget Hitler?! Or Pontius Pilate? Don't call your mum or your doctor, just pick up the phone and call... NEXTWAVE!

Whoa-oh-oh, NEXTWAVE!

Give us a Nextwave rollcall!
Monica! Is gonna microwave your ****!
Tabby! Is gonna steal all your stuff!
Aaron! Is going to organize your sock drawer.
Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!
The Captain! HIS NAME IS THE CAPTAIN!

NEXTWAVE! Whoa-whoa-oh-oh-oh, NEXTWAVE!
Wooooo-oo-oo-oo, NEXTWAVE!
Oooh, somebody please call up NEXTWAVE!
For God's sake, somebody call... Nextwave...*

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Fin Fang Foom 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Machine Man 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Photon 5 (Super Speed)
Stamina: Fin Fang Foom 6 (Generator)
Agility: Photon 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Photon 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Photon 6 (Mass Destruction)

Y'know, for such a third-stringer, Captain Marvel [aka; Photon, aka; Monica Rambeau] is a pretty high rating hero. Oh, and if you didn't know, she once ran the Avengers. Hah-cha-cha-cha-cha.

Still, microwave special beam cannons and SHIELD regulation callisthenics aren't really all that much next to a giant dragon. A giant alien dragon who wears purple trunks, as it were.
As you can see, there are some of those vulnerabilities in the Haseloff system. I never could have accounted for purple underpants. Truly a formidable power (as we shall see).

Stats that include impressive strength levels on the side of Elsa Bloodstone and the Captain, as well as the multitude of abilities possessed by the gadget, geared up Machine Man, while impressive, aren't enough.
Even the dodgy record Fin Fang Foom has against superhero types isn't enough to render him a likely loser in this situation. Not on paper, according to statistics, at least.

Arguably a Nextwave should have far more chance of dealing with the alien dragon than a lone Iron Man, but that probably speaks more to the unfortunate writing of history.
Fin Fang Foom is a poor Iron Man villain choice, and should be granted higher status, dealt with by the likes of the Fantastic Four, or other.

What went down...
The second issue of Nextwave resumes very much where the end of the first left off. As the Nextwave arrives on the scene, Fin Fang Foom, having just been awoken and freed from his mountain prison, is f**king sh*t up!

Former X-Forcer, Tabby "Boom Boom" Smith, swoops in wearing an anti-gravity harness, to give the Fin-man an eyefull of plasma blast fit for 'shake, shaking' the room.
This plan, however, backfires...

Fin Fang Foom is swift enough to catch the little Boomer in-hand, and announces the offensive strategy of intending to place her in his pants. Not a very pretty plan, but effective in concept, none the less.
At least until an airborne Captain hurtles toward the situation.

The f**king absurdly strong action hero grapples with a giant green finger, peeling back until finally... He snaps the finger clean off Fin Fang Foom's hand.
"AAAAOOOOOOOOOO," indeed.

FFF waves his agonized hand around a bit, sending The Captain [and Tabitha Smith] hurtling once more, this time into a nearby apartment building.
Fortunatley, The Captain's absurdly powerful body was able to protect his Nextwave compadre from mortal injury.

Meanwhile, while Machine Man parks the Shockwave Rider, Photon leaps into action. Using her fantastic Photon-y powers, she converts her body into a flying deadly, flying exawatt gamma-ray laser beam! Which results in... her bouncing off FFF's big green chest...

Apparently unable to even damage the creature's toenails with a shotgun, the team decides drastic situations call for drastic measures. Well, okay, they didn't really put it like that, but I'm trying not to drone on too much...

... So, the invincible Elsa Bloodstone leaps into action, shotgun in tow, and fires at Fin Fang Foom's fintastic right eye. Which really hurts, and makes him open his mouth and shout in agony. This oral opening allows the Aaron "the Machine Man" Stack to hurtle into the gullet of the beast.

Twisting his way down through Fin Fang Foom's digestive system, Machine Man pops a whole mess of wacky, dangerous and sharp looking gadgets, and hacks away at FFF's innards like a sissy footballer brutalising a shin in the name of a steal.

In the end, Machine Man's rampaging butchery paid off.
Lurching in agony, Fin Fang Foom wonders if perhaps he had eaten too many people, but this was more than a little Bangalore belly. This was the bitter, hard-to-digest result of man's intolerance for giant alien monsters.

When will you learn to accept, humanity? Shame.

The hammer...
Fin Fang Foom's heart was broken, as was mine, with Nextwave walking away with the victory via excessive force.
This begs the question - is Fin Fang Foom now dead?

Popular opinion is to simply dismiss Nextwave as a book that obeys it's own exclusive canon, irrelevent to the established history of the Marvel "616" universe. This reporter, however, sees it otherwise.

In fact, despite it's comedy stylings, I tend to believe this book would greatly benefit the Marvel universe if it were to be directly attached.
This book has the potential to succeed where other series, like the recent ill-fated Defenders mini, have failed. Despite it's humorous and untamed antics, it has an over the top quality that nullifies, I believe, any potential misuse of characters.

In fact, thus far, it's my opinion that it hasn't even tred dodgy ground.

As a creatively and artistically brilliant piece of madness, this book, in my estimation, has not yet betrayed any of the characters it's borrowed. This opinion is no doubt held intact by the editorial wisdom that birthed a character like Dirk Anger, rather than pushing the boundaries of the likes of Nick Fury beyond parody.

In the case of Fin Fang Foom, I'd like to think a little bit of alien psuedo-reptilian regeneration could explain away a prompt resurrection. With, perhaps, the rest of the book steering clear of potential snafus that would necessitate separation from the other childred.

Critically, I could only fawn over this title.
Thoroughly disappointed with mainstream ventures from Ellis in recent past [Ultimate Fantastic Four, Ultimate Secret, JLA: Classified...], this book not only makes up for those lapses of judgment, but seemingly does it on Ellis' own specififc terms.

The collaborative design produced under Ellis' direction by Stuart Immonen, Wade Von Grawbadger, Dave McCaig and Joe Caramagna, makes this more than just a beautiful, and kinetic read. This is a book generating it's own exciting image, akin more to high-end popart than just another Marvel comic.

I have nothing but gleaming reviews for everything from cover to cover.
The application of under utilised characters is brilliant. I could not say the book is a trailblazer in that sense, but solicitations from the big two are clearly indicative of an overdue realisation that this is a fantastic way to produce interesting, and unique books.

The use of Fin Fang Foom as a recognisable face under the 'UWMD' classification is fantastic. This was surely an intelligent way of ensuring long reading fanboys had interest to invest in the style of the ook, before it deviated to it's own self-perpetuated characters and stories.
I only hope the book can keep one foot in the Marvel Universe, because there are many characters I'd love to see gain new life here.
Post-New Invaders, I think the likes of USAgent and Blazing Skull would fit in superbly here, but I digress...

Since these ramblings are rapidly going nowhere, I'll close with a negative.
While the writing is strong, and suitably wacky, Elsa Bloodstone's dialogue is a bit grinding. Coming from a true Brit like Ellis, I would have expected slightly less over the top British dialogue. It's like someone threw scripts from The Bill in a blender, and pulled out as many of the colloqualisms as possible.

Machine Man's anti "fleshy," robotic antics were fun, but also seemed a little less shiney. More specifically it felt very much like strings from Futurama were being plucked, taking some of Bender's finer moments, and regurgitating them with more psychotic menace.

NEVER THE LESS, a shining review here. This is the kind of effort I'd like to see Marvel producing more often. Superb! If there wasn't a fight in this issue, I probably still would've forced it onto the site.
A pleasure to 'review' such an oustanding book.

*Finally, if you enjoyed the opening lyrics, you can still find the Nextwave theme song via the Thunder Thighs MySpace page. This glorious madness is perpetuated by Nextwave editor, Nick Lowe, along with his brother Matt.

The Fight: 6 The Issue: 7

NEXT: The May main event. Captain America versus Batman. When it comes to fantasy fights, they don't come much bigger than this one folks. Stay tuned!

HULK versus SUPERMAN
"The Showdown of the Century!" (DC/Marvel)
Where: Marvel versus DC #3 When: April 1996
Why: Ron Marz How: Claudio Castellini

The story so far...
Life in the DC and Marvel universes has always been tough, but when cosmic events conspire to endanger both, the heroes of both Earths face a secret crisis that could destroy them all.

Before time two cosmic entities existed, sexless brothers representing the two sides of all that is, was, and will ever be.

Turmoil between the two brought about an end to things as they once were, but in the aftermath their energies were dissipated into space, becoming part of the multi-verse. As a result of the actions of various beings of different realities, instabilities emerged. After eons of recollecting their fragmented thoughts, the two brothers turned, and remembered their existence.

Now they pit their warriors against one and other.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Superman 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Superman 6 (Sound)
Stamina: Equal 6 (Generator)
Agility: Superman 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Hulk 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Superman 5 (Lasers)

Oooh, I think I can still hear the seething of fanboys worldwide, reverberating through space and time, each crying foul. Some say Hulk, some say Superman.

As has been the case since employing the new approach, it was difficult to weigh-in, one way or the other, in terms of who dominates who in their talent ratings. Both, according to the patented Haseloff System, clock in at a six for strength. However, it's a popular and fair opinion that the Hulk has the greater potential for strength by the very nature of his powers.

Likewise, inadequacies also arise in under estimating certain abilities.
Superman's intelligence as a tactician is a compromise between the muscle bound moron and the super scientist interpretations of his character. His comptence as a field leader, and combative strategist is relatively consistent, unlike his scientific expertise and ability to 'super learn.'

Going on generally standard information, the Hulk is measured in his common savage state, exhibiting minimal intelligence. It should be noted, however, that in this particular encounter, Hulk possesed the mental capacity, expertise and memories of Bruce Banner.

The question here, of course, is not really about how far one character's powers can be stretched. The problem posed to us is to measure the likely winner, on paper.

Despite Superman's greater superiorities in the initial measure, this is a much closer clash than some may consider. Of course, over estimation of Hulk's abilities can slant the fight the wrong way.
Ultimately it's Superman's broader abilities, and more definitive invulnerabilities that make him the more likely victor. Despite possessing an incredible amount of strength, the Hulk is known to be a creature of gamma irradiated flesh, and though he may be green like kryptonite, he does not weaken the man of steel.

What went down...
Hulk occupied himself by toying around with Metallo, before the big S arrived on the scene.
In true Superman style, he extended some old-fashioned Southern hospitality, thanking Hulk for keeping his spot warm in Metropolis by joining Hulk in partaking in some B-villain smacking.

It was now that the mysterious powers-that-be saw fit to teleport our heroes away from civilization, where their destructive powers could truly be unleashed.
If it didn't resemble some far off craterous region of an alien planet, the barren firma of the Grand Canyon might just feel like a home advantage for the green goliath.

Hulk wastes no time, knocking big blue's block off before he's even out of the gate. Something the Hulk no doubt shared with Thor, for future reference.

Superman hurtles into a nearby wall of rock, but is able to spring back into action with eyes blazing - leaving behind a crater that would make any WB cartoon character proud, and with a glowing red pair of peepers to please Jim Lee.

Being the super-whiz he is, Superman is able to assess the Hulk's strength as powerful enough to survive his maximum heat vision blast, even if he couldn't withstand it.
[Too bad if the Hulk's magic weakness just happened to be fire.]

Hulk, notably shaken, returns fire with his own long range attack, unleashing a trademark seismic slam on the rocky ground.

Shaken but not stirred, Superman moves into close quarters looking to slug it out with the Hulk. The two exchange thunderous blows, blasting rock into the air, and hwff and nnghing their way into the record books.

For his world, universe, and the woman he loves, Superman puts aside his wish to be friends with the Hulk, and gives one last punch everything he has.
With the knowledge that he had to put the Hulk down; Superman's punch sees him coiling his body in the follow through, but also sending the Hulk hurtling into the Grand Canyon, where half of it crumbles ontop of Marvel's mighty mean green fighting machine.

Though the tourist attraction may have been partly destroyed - the DC universe, was one step closer to living on.

The hammer
Let's be honest, as perhaps the number one most recognisable superhero in the world, was there ever any chance of Superman losing? Not bloody likely!

At the time of this series, these two characters had co-existed for over thirty years in the same industry. Their pairing was no doubt inspired by their status as top powerhouses in their respective universes, and yet, of the few Marvel/DC crossovers of the seventies, it was the Batman who encountered the Hulk.

With this history in mind, you'd have to think this was one of the most anticipated match-ups imaginable. Unfortunately, this blockbuster-in-the-making suffers the weaknesses of the format with which this series was presented.
Despite being one of the more dynamic and visually exciting fights, it still suffers heavily from being relegated to a mere four page highlight reel.

Despite efforts to honor both characters here, this fight remains one of the most contested and debated on internet message boards, 'Net-wide.Those that favour the Hulk's ability to combat the strength of the Superman press the argument that Hulk's anger management issues would have financed victory.I tend to think the Hulk's capacity for strength is too often over estimated, confusing his actual strength with his extrapolated potential for strength.

Perhaps what lets this fight down so much is it's potential. Not only is this a pairing I'd love to see in an entire issue, but they are two characters that could arguably sustain an entire mini-series.
With an emphasis on story telling, this could have been a very compelling story of two characters not quite human, but often humane.

The depth afforded to a character like Hulk certainly outshines the potential of the often two-dimensional encounters between Superman and DC's out-of-control powerhouse, Solomon Grundy.

This is definitely a fight that deserves to be revisited in the future, but until differences between the powers at Marvel and DC can be settled, you'll have to swallow this ruling: Superman is the strongest one there is.

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 4

NEXT: Punching. Crunching. Exploding. Don't call your mum or your doctor, just pick up the phone and call - NEXTWAVE!