X-MEN versus THE EXECUTIONER
For Better and For Worse! (Marvel comics)
Where: Marvel: Heroes & Legends #1 When: October 1996
Why: Stan Lee & Fabian Nicieza How: Marie Severin

The story so far...
Reed Richards and Susan Storm have finally decided to tie the knot, but damned if the dreaded Dr. Doom will allow a peaceful day for the wedding of his mortal nemesis!

Better known to the world as Mr. Fanatstic and Invisible Woman, they find themselves beseiged by the greatest villains of their past on what should have been the happiest day of their lives!

Lucky for them, friends of both bride and groom are there to help protect the innocent from the menace of Dr. Doom's orchestrated mass attacks!
One such force providing aid is the magnificent mutants of Professor Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters! Good thing too, because the citizens of Manhattan need their help!

Previous Form:
Beast (#31): Crucial in X-Men victories over Xorn and Lizard.
Cyclops (#87): Mixed results as team leader of the X-Men.
Angel (#88): Helped talk Ghost Rider down, after getting badly defeated.
The X-Men [#1]: Victories over Wolverine, Nimrod, Magneto, Xorn & The Lizard.
The Executioner: Skurge has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Executioner 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Beast 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Executioner 6 (Generator)
Agility: Iceman 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting Ability: Executioner 7 (Born Fighter)
Energy Powers: Cyclops 5 (Lasers)


It wasn't long ago that we established the standard for these wacky inter-character match-ups with the X-Men fighting the Lizard [X-Men: First Class #2]. I think it's safe to say this entire book resets that standard, and here's a great example of a villain and heroes you never expected to see together!

Actually, the X-Men aren't complete strangers to Asgard, but we'll at least assume at this point in their careers, (the story being set in the sixties), they haven't had a great deal of experience with much of anything.

As far as big bads go, Skurge; aka The Executioner, isn't someone you want to bump into in a poorly lit alley! Asgard is well known for it's warrior bruisers, but Executioner has always been just a little stronger, and a bit more durable than your average Asgardian. Not to mention how he puts that brawn to use, possessing a powerful axe with various unique abilities, including projecting fire and ice!

Ice? Well, the X-Men's Iceman can handle that, no problem.
The rest? Well, even with a big brain like Beast or a steady leader like Cyclops, that's a tall order! Sure, Sentinels pack a punch, but they aren't gods!

Like so many brain-V-brawn battles we've seen before, this one will probably come down to smarts. The X-Men need to maneuver themselves into finding some way of incapacitating Executioner, and for my money you'd have to be consider some sort of multi-pronged physical assault, that would provide sufficient diversion for the ol' telepathic attack.

Executioner hasn't come this far to go down like a punk, though.
There's every chance he's going to be able to resist the plucking of mental chords by Marvel Girl, Jean Grey, but next to all the other options...? Go with it!

The Math: X-Men (Total) The Executioner (Average)
The Pick: The Executioner

What went down...
Already on the streets tending to the overflow of villainy, the X-Men are in prime position when The Executioner shows up on the scene!

Apparently well versed in human-mutant relations, the Executioner is well aware that victory could very well provide the guise of a hero, being that mutants are so feared and despised!

The Beast, doing the most to engage the menace, narrowly avoids a swipe from the double-edged battleaxe, and a timely wall of ice provided by Iceman stems further assault from the Asgardian goliath.

While the Executioner extracts his powerful axe from the ice, the Angel swings around in the sky to make himself useful (for a change)!

The surprise of the lift knocks Skurge's helmet from his head, and leaves his axe lodged in the street below, having dropped it as his arms were hoisted from underneath him.

Airborne, the Executioner struggles with his fate, while the Angel playfully mocks him.

Continuing to struggle against the far weaker Angel, Executioner's requests for an early release become all too feasible.

With a cunning smile Warren Worthington III lets loose his grip, and leaves the Executioner to plummet several stories Earthward.

Though the Asgardian rightly touts his ability to survive such a fall with ease, he doesn't anticipate the sure teamwork behind the X-Men's maneuvers.

Executioner's landing atop a parked car reduces it to scrap metal, making it the perfect fodder for Marvel Girl! Using her powerful telekinesis, she contorts a lamp post around the car, wrapping Executioner up like a gift for super-authorities.

Celebrations are short-lived as another looming threat interrupts the glow of victory. Though few are there to witness their deeds, one boy walks away a convert -- X-Men fan forevermore! Yeah, go team!

The hammer...
Despite the overwhelming odds (and potential short term nature of their job), the X-Men emerge victorious! Full stats to the whole team, even though Cyclops appears completely uninvolved!

The ranking stats are one of the fun little features of this particularly website, but it strikes me that as much as we talk about the dominance of Spider-man and Batman, the team stats get completely overlooked! If I wasn't thinking about it now, I'm not sure I ever would've imagined the X-Men were such an indomitable force. Which is silly, when I realy think about it... Huh, wacky!

So, with the relaxed schedule for July, I'm now one update away from being officially caught up on updates! Yay! If you missed the lo down in the Punch-Up, you won't know that I could potentially still fall behind as I continue the constant of Ultimate Alliance Mondays, but for the most part, it should be smooth sailing for a little while!

So, I'm generally not a big fan of revised versions of stories, or even reprints on the whole. I'm by no means an obsessive collector, but I just struggle to appreciate things that aren't in their original form. Still, with a site like this, you start to look at the material more than the nature of the beast.

This is the second time we've reviewed this issue, the first being the Grey Gargoyle entry for MUA Mondays. It's a comic positively made for this site, featuring villains from Batroc the Leaper, down to the Unicorn. It really is a smorgasboard of mini-fights, all leading up to one big mega-splash page.

I don't know about this month, but at some stage I'd like to sit down and do a DC vs Marvel style recap for the rest of the action. It just seems wrong not to appreciate things like the Batroc/Cyclops result just prior to the battle featured here, along with all the other fixes of varying lengths.

In the nearest future, I'm simmering gently with a range of prospects for July entries. I couldn't narrow it down, but I'd like to bring it back to some solid one-on-one fights. I really couldn't say, but it'll be fun finding out. Stay tuned!

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 6
NEXT WEEK: Who can put a stop to the menace of Ultron?!

MONTHLY PUNCH-UP #19 (July 2007)
SUPER-SKRULL versus BRUCE BANNER
No Autographs (Marvel)
Where: Incredible Hulk #374 When: October 1990
Why: Peter David How: Dale Keown

Quick Fix...
Everyone has their insignificant favourites.
Issues that bare no real importance in the longterm, but for some individual reason, remain memorable forevermore. I suppose this is one of mine.

The issue is entirely inappropriate for a site such as this. The degree of fisticuffs contained within is relatively minute, reduced to a street robbery and what we're focusing on in the quick fix -- another one-punch wonder! [Ala; JLA/Avengers #1]

I am, of course, afforded the luxury of a rare opportunity to bring such an issue to the table because of last month's big reveal in New Avengers #31. We now know that the Elektra in charge of the Hand was in fact a shapeshifting Skrull, thus casting a net of suspicion and paranoia over everything we see. This beat is already being played upon in the next issue of New Avengers.

If you've been checking back to past updates, you'll see that this new information has recast results taken from previous reviews. [New Avengers #27]

As much as I'd like an excuse to rag on Brian Bendis, I'm actually pretty into what is presumably a bullpen project. Prehaps the only real disappointment here is that, as well explored as it will probably be, it's impossible to escape the fact that Skrulls undercover, and Skrull invasive plots have been done.

This is maybe the kind of thing that actually would've suited the Ultimate comics much better, had they not already developed their own take on the Skrulls through Mark Millar's Ultimates and Ultimate Fantastic Four work. Although, even still, this could just as easily be the follow-up event mini-series to the Galactus Trilogy, or even a project beyond that (ie; Ultimate Origin).

As opposed as I am to redundant story concepts worming their way through the Ultimate comics further, I think this one falls into the 'opportunity to do it different, and well' category.

Never the less, let us throw back to the 1990's -- a decade that contains some of the most infamous Skrull switch-outs, notably Iron Fist and Alicia Masters.

At the turn of the decade, it also marked an issue I always regard very highly from the esteemed Peter David, involving one grey goliath, and some familiar green aliens.

The irony of the issue is that we, as the reader, are in on the gag from the very beginning. The cover does well to highlight the kind of storytelling, where even though there is a clear fakeout (The Thing's arm), the silhouettes ensure we're one step ahead of the protagonist. In a fun metatextual context, the cover technically plays a double take on the idea, since Hulk presumably sees the head casting the shadow, perhaps even before we get past the red herring.

Throughout the issue, even though we know what's going on, there is a great atmospheree of eerie spooks, and dreadful foreboding.

Rick Jones suffers the sins of his past, as Skrulls interrogate him in various guises from the past, both his own and of allies. He goes down early to a trick not unlike the cover, getting fooled by the aid of a Skrull-Thing.

For Bruce Banner and Betty Ross, who drive the story, they're subjected to the classic small American town, where things aren't what they seem. The walls seem to be watching them, and little do they know, they're pretty much on the money.

As the conspiracy town motiff continues, a voice of hope seems to descend in the form of a cutesy, haunted little girl. We of course already know the girl is a Skrull, but as she leads Bruce and Betty to "a bad place" where Rick is being held, we can't begin to anticipate the final reveal.

The uninitiated won't know that for large periods, the Super-Skrull gained his fantastic powers at the expense of his natural ability to shape shift. This, of course, represents a period when that ability had been restored [An ability that has since been lost again], making for a fantastic one-punch wonder of an ending!

The Fix: 5 The Issue: 5.5
Winner: Super-Skrull

The Top Five...
#1 Spider-man (-) (11) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [The Lizard]
Win Percentage: [70.37%] Features: [27]
Season 2006: [#2] Current Ranking: [#1]

Try as we may, we just can't seem to shake Spidey!
Every appearance seems only to further solidify his dominance in the rankings. Even a landslide of defeats isn't going to shift him from the top spot any time soon. So, resigned to the fact that Spidey's safe for a while, what do we have to look forward to?

The Spidey titles will be wiped clean again in favour of publishing Amazing three times a month, which honestly leaves Secret Earths somewhat bemused. Even with the promise of A-grade talent, like the rumored Dan Slott.

While the Distinguished Competition can claim no real ownership over a weekly publication schedule, it does, despite all intentions, feel like a poor response to DC's weekly successes with 52, and now Countdown. Things are really going to have to pick up for this to make a difference.

#2 Batman (-) (17) (DC)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Green Arrow]
Win Percentage: [80%] Features: [15]
Season 2006: [#1] Current Ranking: [#2]

The traditional warhorse of the Infinite Wars; Batman digs the claws in to maintain a position at second, despite taking the entirety of May off. A single appearance last month proving the difference.

It seems Batman will always be a big part of the site, even though his measure of unbeatability has been thoroughly wrung out by the web-slinger.

Things have cooled off considerably for Batman, but as always there's The Dark Knight sequel ever looming on the horizon, and we're now gearing up to usher in a new era of Outsiders, led by Batman as was traditionally the case.
Directly this may have minimal influence on Secret Earths, but even if subconsciously, it invariably helps keep the Batman in our thoughts.

#3 Black Adam (+2) (2) (DC)
Class: [Super] Last Opponent: [Freedom Fighters]
Win Percentage: [100%] Features: [4]
Season 2006: [#n/a] Current Ranking: [#11]

If Batman has been the traditional leader for DC in the Infinite Wars, then Black Adam has to be considered the new face, at least for 2007. A flashback victory bumps the MVP up two spots.

Despite maintaining a weekly starring role in Countdown, Black Adam's thunder actually appears to be slowing down somewhat. Having still been unable to get a hold of World War III, Adam may have reached the end of his sponsored relevance on Secret Earths.

Of course, as soon as I say that, we must also acknowledge a mini-series on the horizon, that may serve to reinvigorate Black Adam's role on the website.
Hurting his momentum is the shuffle of time, that has put the dramatic kaibosh on the conclusion of WW3 and the loss of Adam's power. Through Countdown we already have insight into the discovery of his new magic word. The delivery of the mini-series, that details his history and quest for the new word, will be the acid test for Black Adam.

#4 Iron Man (-1) (7) (Marvel)
Class: [Super] Last Opponent: [The Mandarin]
Win Percentage: [64.29%] Features: [14]
Season 2006: [#3] Current Ranking: [#3]

Arguably the most prevelant character in Marvel comics right now, things continue to heat up for the Golden Avenger. With World War Hulk kicking off with a bang, Iron Man stands at the forefront of Marvel's big company celebration of Hulk's return to Earth.

As if Tony Stark didn't make enough enemies from the Civil War, he now has a bloody angry Hulk and his team of aliens to contend with. As far as fisticuffs go, Iron Man has probably got his fair share of options coming.
Another prominent opponent is the Winter Soldier, who in the pages of Captain America has pledged revenge for his former mentor's death, and Stark's role in it.

Then there's that little issue of the major motion picture coming to theatres early 2008, with promotional images of the cast continuing to stir the juices of intrigue. Having just come from seeing the abismal Ghost Rider, IM keeps the torch of hope alive for Marvel movies.

#5 Venom (+10) (new) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Shocker]
Win Percentage: [54.55%] Features: [11]
Season 2006: [#9] Current Ranking: [#5]

Bumping Wolverine out of the top five, with a superior percentage, is the Venom Symbiote. As an autonomous creature, Venom piggybacks his success off of Spider-man 3, and the current role of Mac Gargan in the pages of Thunderbolts.

There's an awkward notion to the Symbiote being in the spotlight, particularly over his possessors, but as a character unto itself, the costume has spawned not only spin-off characters and series, but even a current marketing event that is Spider-man: Back in Black. So, we have to give the Symbiote that much credit.

There's been talk of a Symbiote-centric arc of Avengers which may have some larger relevance to the Marvel universe as a whole. I can only speculate as to whether that will start some sort of interspecial war between the Skrulls and the Symbiotes - two subversive alien cultures with malicious intentions - or if this will simply be a ploy to reinstate Eddie Brock as a super powered figure. As it stands, he has survived a suicidal end, and is being explored in the last issues of Sensational.

Super Stock...
1. Spider-man (-) (M)
2. Batman (-) (DC)
3. Iron Man (-) (M)
4. Wolverine (-) (M)
5. Venom [Symbiote] (+5) (M)
6. Daredevil (-1) (M)
7. Hulk (-1) (M)
10. Mr. Fantastic (+2) (M)
11. Black Adam (+2) (DC)
12. Green Arrow (-3) (DC)
13. Human Torch (-2) (M)
15. Thing (+14) (M)
16. Invisible Woman (+14) (M)
19. Thor (+13) (M)
22. Elektra (-7) (M)
27. Nightwing (+15) (DC)
33. Silver Surfer (-6) (M)
37. Deathstroke (+60) (DC)
40. Dr. Light (new) (DC)
48. Dr. Doom (new) (M)
50. Death's Head (-3) (M)
53. Sinestro (new) (DC)
54. Bizarro (new) (DC)
81. Dr. Polaris (new) (DC)
82. Zoom (new) (DC)
83. Cheetah (new) (DC)
91. Atlas (+60) (M)
92. Mach-V (+60) (M)
93. Songbird (+60) (M)
94. Moonstone (+60) (M)
95. Skrull-Elektra (new) (M)
100. Thundra (-13) (M)
105. Psycho-Pirate (+147) (DC)
106. Techno (+90) (M)
113. Baron Zemo (+161) (M)
123. Equus (new) (DC)
133. Crystal (+11) (M)
150. Beak (-17) (M)
163. Lyja (new) (M)
200. Scarecrow (-11) (M)
250. Shrinking Violet (-9) (DC)
279. The Ray (new) (DC)
280. Damage (new) (DC)
281. Black Condor (new) (DC)
282. Phantom Lady [Dee Tyler] (new) (DC)
283. Iconoclast (new) (M)
284. Firefly (new) (DC)
285. Wrecker (new) (M)
289. Super Adaptoid (new) (M)
292. Uncle Sam (-132) (DC)
293. Human Bomb (-127) (DC)
300. Azraeuz (-20) (DC)
301. Rhino (-76) (M)
302. Brick (-20) (DC)
303. Lizard (-22) (M)
304. Magneto (-21) (M)


#19 Hulk (Marvel)
Class: [Champion] Last Opponent: [Atlantean Military]
Win Percentage: [50%] Features: [12]
Season 2006: [#6] Current Ranking: [#7]

A brief reminder that Thor made his return to the realm of the living in the past few weeks, but it is impossible to deny the power of the Hulk right now! Marvel has several mini-events on the stovetop right now with The Initiative and what we've been talking about with the Skrulls - but none of it stands up to World War Hulk!

As always, helping to propel buzz for the character is filtering news of a new motion picture. As a fan of the previous, I'm a little disappointed by the radical shift away from the Ang Lee film, particularly the switching of Sam Elliot for William Hurt as General "Thunderbolt" Ross.

After a decade of being pretty quiet for my money, I think the times demand World War Hulk be part of the Infinite Wars. Who am I to ignore that kind of call? Well, someone who's a little broke, but we'll try...

#n/a Green Lantern (DC)
Class: [Cosmic] Last Opponent: [Silver Surfer]
Win Percentage: [0%] Features: [3]
Season 2006: [#113] Current Ranking: [#164]

On the flipside, DC's current slew of events all roll into one big one! There is literally so much going on right now there's nothing standing out from anything else - except maybe the Sinestro Corp!

It's the special that has everyone talking, and perhaps the most exciting thing to come from the line-up of villains is an all new Parallax host!
It looks like after all these years of Hal vs Kyle, Rayner is going to step out of Jordan's shadow and into his cuckoo-crazy period, with the shoulder armor and demonic possession.

Perhaps my greatest concern for the team was that it would be filled out with new, uninteresting characters, but those fears have officially been put to rest! With Sinestro, Cyborg Superman and Superboy-Prime at his side, Green Lantern finally might get the respect he's been missing from Secret Earths!

The hammer...
If you were around last year, you'll know July has the very special distinction of being the month of my birth! You'll also know I like to do something a little different, so I'm putting the schedule on the backburner, now that we conveniently have all of the movie hoohah out of the way. [Spider-man 3, Rise of the Silver Surfer]

Unlike last year, where we adapted the theme to a timewarp by decades, I'm just going to open July up to my whims.
In the interest of wrapping it up, I'll be doing my best to maintain Ultimate Alliance Mondays, but for the most part expect updates at ANY TIME, in ANY PLACE!
Be as one with the RSS feed [or all new Ticker Tape], and you'll follow along just fine!

Meanwhile, we've got a lot of people to thank this month!
A big shout out to A Trout In The Milk and The Fortress of Fortitude, who were kind enough to mention Secret Earths in updates, and some some hits [and kicks] our way!

An even bigger shoutout to Shane Bailey for a mention in his Newsarama blog, Meanwhile...! It's been slow coming, but the Infinite Wars might just be getting their dues. Fitting, as aliterations and superheroes fighting spread across the internet blogosphere! Hey, since 2005, baby. Organized!

We've also had visits from time wasting employees/interested representatives from Condé Nast Publications, UK's SkyTV and the New York Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art. Do you think now's the time to start pitching concepts for The Shadow?...

Name dropping out of the way, it's not all fun and glory.
As you will no doubt recall from last month, I was sure you would be able to find purchase details for The Kirby Martin Inquest #1 at Nitelitetheatre.com, but alas, I've been mickey moused about, and all you'll find there is a free preview thanks to ComicSpace.

You can rest assured you'll be the first, second, or maybe fifteenth person to know about it when information on purchasing becomes available. In the mean time, I've been working on some very exciting prospects for ghosts of Nite Lite Theatre future! WhooOOOoOooOoOooo!

So, in closing, what can you expect from July on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths? Well, I've grabbed a pile of books of interest (with a slight DC slant), and from that I would expect to see some Batman, some Killer Croc, some Guile, some Sub-Zero, some Batroc, some Boomerang, some Hawkman... I really don't know what to expect, so stay tuned!

June Hit Count: [4311/22239] (-824)

DR. DOOM versus SILVER SURFER
Weapon 'S' (Marvel comics)
Where: Silver Surfer #107 When: August 1995
Why: Mike Lackey How: Tom Grindberg

The story so far...
In his search for power, Dr. Doom has found many different avenues to achieve new levels of superiority. Through the sciences and magics, he has made himself one of the most impressive rulers on the planet, but a cosmic prize has eluded him over the years.

The Silver Surfer's power cosmic, bestowed upon him by the planet devouring entity called Galactus, has made him known throughout the cosmos for reasons good and bad.

As a power source, Dr. Doom has many times sought him out to steal or liberate him of his power. This is just such an occassion, where, for reasons of his own, the Silver Surfer seeks release from his condition. A wish he may come to regret.

Previous Form:
Silver Surfer (#31): Victories over Green Lantern and Ronan the Accuser.
Dr. Doom: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Silver Surfer 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Dr. Doom 6 (Genius)
Speed: Silver Surfer 7 (Lightspeed)
Stamina: Silver Surfer 6 (Generator)
Agility: Silver Surfer 3 (Athlete)
Fighting Ability: Silver Surfer 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Silver Surfer 7 (Solar Power)


A hush fell over the crowd as it dawned on them!
After a year and a half - was it criminal negligance or masterful hype? Regardless of which, Dr. Doom has finally come to Secret Wars on Infinite Earths!

Well, actually, that's not entirely true... This story is about a doombot.
A doombot is a robotic facsimile of the real thing, often programmed to act and assume it is the one true Dr. Doom. The programming is so thorough that these robots have even been known to turn against their own master!

We've never had to call upon it, but from the earliest days of our Infinite Wars there has been an unwritten law in place. A law designed to be called upon twenty months after the site's birth: The Doombot Denouement Decree.

This is a special rule designed to account for the fact that often by a story's conclusion, it's impossible to say for certain whether the character described was in fact the true Doom, or merely a robotic pawn or imitator. Thus, by supposing that Doombots represent crucial tools in Doom's arsenal, they represent him in the rankings, absorbing and supplying his wins and losses accordingly.

In this particular instance we know from the beginning that this is a Doombot. The story revolves around a Doombot that has found a new sense of consciousness and is, by extension of thought on it's programming, preparing to wage ware on all things living. It intends to do this with the power cosmic, but that's beside the point, for now...

The Silver Surfer with powers in tact, could probably handle a Doombot pretty safely. Though stories sometimes depict him as a little bit dumber or weaker than he actually is, he could probably handle the real Dr. Doom easily too. Although, by implication, more often than not a Doombot would be no easier than the real Dr. Doom, anyway...

... My point is, that under normal circumstances Silver Surfer has it in the bag, or at least some sort of conclusion that alludes to his success. An inconclusive result might actually be the more likely, but the tape generally isn't about calling a draw.

Dr. Doom's tools for victory are evasion, mysticism and/or technology, particularly applied to strip Silver Surfer of his powers, and add them to his own. In a scenario where this has already been achieved, Silver Surfer stands little to no chance alone, and given that this is the situation, well... It's not looking good.

To keep the ape pure, we'll assume this is a peak Silver Surfer, but... Well, consider that a little bit of a spoiler...

The Math: Silver Surfer (Cosmic Class)
The Pick: Silver Surfer

What went down...
Having successfully stripped the Silver Surfer of his powers, the Doombot goes about destroying a planet, liberating it of it's dweller's perceived suffering.

The Doombot recalls events from Fantastic Four #56-#60, the original story of Dr. Doom's first attempt to take possession of the power cosmic. The Doombot reveals that it was Doom's human frailties that made the task impossible, and reveals himself to be a specially comissioned Doombot designed to seek-out the Surfer and contain his power within a robotic cell.

Intent on fulfillin his programmed destiny, the Doombot seems unstoppable, but even so, Norrin Radd - the Silver Surfer - faces him with courage and conviction.
He leaps at Doom, but suffers the powerful blast of Dr. Doom's gauntlet, lacking the cosmic power to withstand and defend against it.

Imprisoned on Doom's ship, the powerless Silver Surfer attempts to use the last of his energies to psychically tap the shoulder of Legacy, the inheritor of Captain Mar-Vell's power. Hoping he too would possess a cosmic awareness, the Surfer calls out through the void left by his power.
Though Legacy hears, he has problems of his own, leaving the Surfer, as far as he knows, alone in the depths of space.

Eager to take possession of the Surfer's space faring silver board, the Doombot furiously storms the Surfer's chamber, discontent with his inability to control it. As an automaton, the robot lacks the life to control the board, and the Surfer promises that even without his power, he will take control of the board again.

The Surfer lashes out furiously with a fist that cracks the metallic shell of Dr. Doom's puppet. Without the power cosmic, he proves to be of little physical challenge, even with the machine's inability to truly master the power.

The Doombot swats Radd swiftly into submission, striking his powerless body with an unforgiving gauntlet. The Doombot delivers his own decree of robotic philosophy, looking down on organic lifeform's concepts of vanity and life and love, while burying his fist into the Surfer's frail stomach.

He speaks of a much larger picture, while striking the Surfer again and again, unrelenting!

With the Surfer helplessly lying on the cold metallic floor of the spaceship, the Doombot begins a new chapter in his own sense of awareness.

The Surfer tries to tell the machine that divinity must be earned, but having pleaded for the removal of his powers, his cause is harmed in the calculating eyes of the Doombot.

Reevaluating, the Doombot declares war not only on the Fantastic Four and the enemies of his template, but on life, imperfection, and Victor Von Doom himself! With the power cosmic the Doombot intends to destroy all things imperfect, and therefore all things living.

In a burst of energy, the first to die are his crewmates as he destroys the spaceship from the inside-out, no longer requiring of a vessel to travel.
Though the Surfer's chrome covered body survives the cosmic explosion, he drifts helplessly in space, with the question looming -- how long can he survive?!

And with that, the Doombot floats patiently awaiting the result, victorious.

The hammer...
So, with the exception described in the tape, let us declare Dr. Doom the winner, despite this Doombot's overwhelming personality and goals.

As you may have noticed, this served as a bit more awkward an update than usual. The fight itself occupies only so much of the book, in between the ranting faux philosophies, and flashes to other characters involved in the book's on-going sub-plots (Legacy, Tyrant, Galactus...).
Never the less, I thought it would be nice to close the book on Fantastic Fridays with a fifth-week special featuring the other stars of Rise of the Silver Surfer.

During the month it has been interesting to note how few Fantastic Four related searches we've received, but one particular google hit does spring to mind. That was a search concerning a plot device from the film, that connects the Silver Surfer's power cosmic to the possession of his surfboard.

I try to keep an eye on what kind of things are drawing in traffic, but for things like this, it'd be great to see you dropping a comment or question. I like to think of Secret Earths as a potential resource, as much as it is a fun site to check out superhero slugfests. Well, okay, maybe not as much as that...

I haven't actually seen Rise of the Silver Surfer, but I can presume that placing the importance on the surfboard is a way of streamlining the methods of attaining the Surfer's powers. This, of course, is not true to the comics, and is likely to save time and exposition, recasting the scenario in a way more palattable to zoo-going theatre audiences.

I imagine it's no mean feat, even in the films, to steal the board away from the Surfer. As we've witnessed here during the Infinite Wars, it is not only a travelling method, but also a useful part of the Silver Surfer's cosmic arsenal. [Silver Surfer #13]

More often than not, the methods of stealing the Silver Surfer's power cosmic involve subduing the cosmic hero, and subjecting him to large, mysterious and non-descript machines. It might not be very specific, but I like to think it's a bit more tangible than playing keepaway with his board. Maybe that's just me.

I don't know how Doom is foiled in the movies, but generally the answers lie in Doom's own follies, or the intervention of someone like Mr. Fantastic or event Galactus himself. As bad a guy as Dr. Doom can be, there really isn't much you can do against a dude can pluck you out of the sky and strip you of your energy, before snacking down on a tiny planet.

As we follow along the lengthy trail of villains through Marvel Ultimate Alliance Mondays, we will get an opportunity to stop-in on Galactus, and culminate our adventures through the Marvel Universe with another entry or two with Doc Doom! In the mean time, it's good do have the doctor in!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 3.5

SUPERMAN/BATMAN versus GREEN ARROW
Absolute Power Chapter One: "I Pledge Allegiance..." (DC comics)
Where: Superman/Batman #14 When: January 2005
Why: Jeph Loeb How: Carlos Pacheco

The story so far...
In a world where the fates of the world's greatest superheroes have been manipulated, Superman and Batman serve as dictators to the world's greatest super power.

Though the Lightning Lord, Saturn Queen and Cosmic King preemptively extinguished most of the rebellious powers that may rise, some inevitably emerge as though time and space was fighting their will. One such resistant is Oliver Queen, known to the world as the bow carrying vigilante -- Green Arrow!

Though he was killed once before, the Green Arrow seems unwilling to perish.
His return from the dead remains a thorn in the sides of the world's finest, but even as a resurrected symbol of hope, Green Arrow is just a man. A man fighting would-be gods...

Previous Form:
Batman (#2): Has victories over overwhelming odds, including Superman & Amazo.
Superman (#9): Single-handedly decimated the Freedom Fighters in this universe.
Green Arrow (#10): Victories against Superman, Brick and Red Hood.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Superman 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Batman 5 (Professor)
Speed: Superman 6 (Speed of Sound)
Stamina: Superman 6 (Generator)
Agility: Batman 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Batman 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Powers: Superman 5 (Lasers)


Even though this is a battle exclusive to the top ten, the tape paints a pretty telling picture of the situation we have before us.

When you pair up two of the world's most iconic superheroes, evil better beware.

When you travel back in time to twist and destort their origins, so that you may raise them as your own little dictators -- everyone better watch it!

Green Arrow and Batman draw a lot of parallels between them. While GA tends to stand as the quasi-knock-off of his counterpart, they and their families have grown in tandem in ways that have made them even more similar than before.

The defining link between GA and Batman is the fact that, in a world of legends, they are two of the more prominent and successful humans.
While they accomplish fantastic feats, and overcome impossible odds, they are forever distance from their fellows, who can shoot lasers from their eyes, turn invisible, move at staggering speeds, or shatter eardrums with their voice.

Even of these two, Batman tends to top GA in most of their common fields.
Batman is more wile, he's richer, he's a better fighter, he's got a bigger arsenal, he plays dirtier, he has more sidekicks. He just generally one-ups Green Arrow in all but the most green of areas.

When you pile on the man of steel, it's overkill. Green Arrow is history.
Even a Superman who is somehow being manipulated [Batman #612] into fighting, and can be seen resisting, towers over the Green Arrow.

He has a couple of assists to his name with Batman against Superman [Dark Knight Returns #4, Dark Knight Strikes Again #1], both which include the use of kryptonite arrows -- which are a valid argument for neutralizing the threat of Superman, but at the end of the day, it just isn't enough to sway the argument.

The Math: Superman & Batman
The Pick: Superman & Batman

What went down...
Having rescued a couple from an armored trio of soldiers, Green Arrow grimaces as they speak the phrase, "Look... Up in the sky..."

Green Arrow turns to find Superman and Batman looming over him. He draws an arrow from his quiver instantly, preparing for the birthday battle that Batman has gifted his adopted brother. GA sends his present early.

At first Superman mocks the simple arrow, but as the head explodes in an array of green particle dust, he quickly realises the potency of the weapon.

Batman leaps from his fire escape perch, promising to kill Green Arrow if Superman has been at all hurt. Gee, he's falling from the sky because of an arrow fired at him. Might be a little late for if he was hurt, Bruce.

Though the leap would surely have earned him a high score from the judges, Batman lands perfectly to eat some bow wood, as Green Arrow sacrifices his weapon for an early edge.

Batman wipes his mouth and explodes, nailing Green Arrow with a backhand to the ribs, before rising into a devestating right-left combination.

He nails his bearded counterpart with a roundhouse kick, but remains unsatisfied. Still in a rage over the attack on his brother, he calls for Green Arrow to get back up.

Ever the rebel, GA pulls one of the arrows from his quivver and buries it into the ribs of the Dark Knight detective!

Though it delivers a suitable amount of pain, the arrow doesn't slow the Batman in the slighest. He returns the favour with an almost instinctive kick to the face that sprays GA's blood, and sufficiently distracts as he rips the arrow from his own body.

Before either of the fighting pair even knows what's happened, the alley in which they're fighting suddenly turns red with light.

Green ARrow is reduced to ash by two precision beams from above, fading before the caped crusader.

Descending from above, a stone-faced Superman bares a twinkle of red in his eyes, and coldly delivers his command: "Obey or die."

With the vigilante thwarted, Superman and Batman return to their moonbase, where they share cake for Superman's birthday with their metro contempo-liberal trio of parents. The end.

The hammer...
Superman and Batman win! Fatality!

So, there's an age old argument that Superman could beat just about anyone, because if he really stopped holding back he would either fling them into space/the sun at super speeds -- or he would obliterate them before they could blink with heat vision.

Absolute Power seemed to cause a bit of a stir, as most Jeph Loeb stories tend to do these days, but there remains one undeniable truth about the entirety of his work on Superman/Batman: It was fun!

Granted, some times it was more fun than others, but on the whole, it was a lot of fun. It's time travel/reality bending antics provided an opportunity to play around with a lot of common place concepts, like what it would be like to have The Ultimates fight DC characters, or what would happen in a world where Superman just uses his heat vision to kill people with silly beards!

Unfortunately irrelevant to the review of the fight is the conclusion to this issue, which also makes brilliant use of Wonder Woman's lasso of truth as a lead-in to the following issue. [Superman/Batman #15]

Having survived an assault from the military police; a stealthy Wonder Woman lurks her way into the depths of the abandoned White House, where a raggedy old hobo in a dirty trenchcoat is sleeping amongst some boxes. He tries to run, crying for help, but is quickly snagged in the glowing enchanted Amazonian ropes.

Somehow aware of everything this hobo was, and stands for, Wonder Woman compells him to remember the truth, and under the vow of the rope, he is transformed into the patriotic symbol of American freedom: Uncle Sam!

It's a great scene, and really another fine example where a playful idea that would otherwise be difficult to come across gets a chance to air. It's not a revolution, but it's a nice little story, none the less.

Speaking of birthdays, July marks mine, and I was supposed to be doing a few extra entries during this month. As I'm writing this it's the sixth, so even though I'm making up some ground, we might have a small gap for the beginning of July.
I was going to use the free schedule to try to do more spontaneous updates, but for the time being it'll be the buffer to catch up. More of that in the Punch-Up!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 5

SPIDER-MAN versus THE LIZARD
Law of the Jungle (Marvel comics)
Where: Spider-man Ep. 3 When: July 2003
Why: Greg Johnson & Audu Paden How: Neil Patrick Harris & Rob Zombie

The story so far...
Having lost his arm in an accident working for Oscorp; Dr. Curt Conners turns his scientific brilliance toward developing a means for cell regeneration through a hybrid genetic therapy using reptilian DNA.

With success imminent, the good doctor sends his lab aid, Peter Parker, home early so he can inject himself in private with the serum developed.

The doctor's arm quickly regenerates, but as time eventually reveals, there are other, more sinister side effects awaiting the doctor. Symptoms like scales, a prehensile tail, and erratic, instinctive animal-like behaviour. Good thing Peter is hip to the change, at least, it is for Harry Osborn, who's clearing his father's office out at Oscorp...

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#1): Has victories on film over arch-nemesis; Kraven and Green Goblin.
The Lizard (#300): Defeated by the X-Men and the Avengers on seperate occasions.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: The Lizard 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Draw 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Draw 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: The Lizard 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Spider-man 2 (Projectiles)


Y'know, the 'previous form' mini-section there tends to go completely under the radar, but it's an interesting statistic to note here. Yes, we've reached the three hundred mark, but more telling to this battle is the two hundred and ninety-eight characters that seperate Spidey and the Lizard.

The Lizard isn't any kind of schmuck! He's been an esteemed member of Spidey's rogues gallery since the beginning, but by his very nature he has a knack for being defeated. Which really goes to his core as a tragic villain.

The man inside the monster - Dr. Curt Conners - is not only a good, wholesome family man, but he's also one of Spider-man and Peter Parker's greatest allies. The nature of his transformations and the quality of the man within mean the people around him are always highly motivated to put an end to his turmoil, and ultimately makes him a soft target off-the-page.

We've seen Spider-man shoot to the top with an unprecedented number of wins (and features) in 2007, and it really just goes to highlight that, for all his "human foibles", Spider-man remains the archetypal hero when it hits print.

The Lizard has all the tools to challenge Spider-man. He's got strength, cunning, guile, speed, agility, and has even been known to match-up with a bit of wall crawling. Typically, he's one of those characters that brings Spider-man back down on his sliding scale of strength, and that might be justified by the psychological and emotional connection between Spidey and Conners.

Still, at the end of the day, Spidey's record against the character is likely insurmountable, and though he may periodically lapse, the Lizard will return to life as Dr. Conners. It is inherently as inevitable as his changing into the Lizard.

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Working late to clear out his deceased father's office [Spider-man: The Movie], an unsuspecting Harry Osborn finds himself under the attack of the lethal Lizard! Though succumbing to a primal state, somewhere inside, the Lizard calls upon his grim fate at the hands of Oscorp's negligance, and seeks revenge!

While Spider-man races to the scene, Harry maneuvers his way through the labyrinth of corridors in the Oscorp office complex, snagging a fire axe while evading the leaping lizard that claws and hops his way through the narrow halls.

Harry manages to slice away the Lizard's fingers as he slowly stalks around a corner, but they quickly regenerate thanks to the mysterious serum flowing in his veins. Unphased, the Lizard is now even more motivated as he corners the axe-wielding Osborn in a conference room.

Knocking Harry down with a slash to his arm, the Lizard prepares to move in for the kill, but as he does, a comedic voice descends from above -- Spider-man!
A self-launching Spider-man knocks the Lizard down, propelling himself from the bottom of a walking platform.

The Lizard recovers, taking several swipes and bites at the Spider-man, but his agility proves superior. A red fist swings up with a devestating uppercut, again flooring the Lizard as he goes head-over-heels, backward.

Grabbing a fire extinguisher with thoughts of acting out on his vendetta against Spider-man, Harry thinks better, agreeing to take Spider-man's provided escape opportunity.

In something of a primal rage, the Lizard crawls around on all fours before launching himself at Spidey. With no regard for the safety of himself or his prey, the Lizard sends he and Spider-man hurtling down beside the skyscraper.

Spidey shoots out web-lines to slow his descent, while the Lizard uses his talon-esque fingertips to cling to the side of the building. The Lizard wastes no time scaling the building in pursuit of Spider-man, who heads for the rooftop.

Inside, Harry calls the police, while above, Spider-man does combat with the ferocious Lizard.

Spidey again makes good use of his super-agility, narrowly escaping several close quarters lunging attacks, before springing to a higher vantage point atop a radio tower.

He attempts to connect with the Doctor within, appealing to his human nature to reject the return of his arm for the price it comes with. The Lizard wastes little time contemplating, instead using his own spring to leap after Spidey.

Avoiding the attack, Spider-man lands atop a large spinning fan, shooting web-lines out to the Lizard before feeding them into the spinning blades. The power of the machine yanks the Lizard from his tower perch, into the protective grill.

The Lizard hits with a thud as police helecopters begin circling overhead, casting their search lights at the super-powered struggle below.

With the fan jammed by Spider-man's webbing, the Lizard mangles the grill to free himself from his ensnarement. The police, believing the pair to be accomplices, calls for both of their surrender, while the Lizard launches an unsuspecting attack.

Lizard yanks Spidey off his proverbial soap box, and drags him to the ground below. With the blades of the industrial fan again spinning, the Lizard holds Spider-man menacingly by the throat with his powerful hands.

Preparing a killing stroke, the Lizard pulls his sharp nails back.
The police copter provides Spider-man with the leverage he needs to shoot a web to yank himself to freedom, as the Lizard follows through to plunge his arm into the spinning turbine!

It slices Dr. Conners' arm down in a parallel to his previous injuries. Sufficiently distracted, Spider-man webs him up from the bottom of the helecopter, and the police take-off with both in their 'custody'.

The Lizard continues to struggle, using his remaining arm to slash Spider-man's web. He plummets earthbound, landing in the streets below. Unable to make a getaway, the Lizard lies in the street, and sheds a single tear.

The hammer...
The winner, and still champion -- the amazing Spider-man!

I'm going to completely cop-out, and remind everyone that Mondays remain dedicated to the villains featured in the now classic, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance video game. These entries, which have fuelled the past few months, have been attracting some hits, so hopefully some of you hardcore gamers have gotten something out of them.

In a similar theme, it's nice to get another episode of the extremely underrated MTV Spider-man cartoon up! I think this was the kind of thing that really grew on me the more I've watched it, and I'm sure last time [Spider-man Ep. 13] I mentioned how impressive I thought the writing was, but I must do it again.

When you say 'MTV are doing a Spider-man cartoon', it's a bit of an ugh attractor. The inevitable image of a Spider-man with baseball cap backward and baggy pants comes to mind, but what the people behind this particular toon really did well was write motivated, intelligent done-in-one episodes with impressive success and respect for both the materials, and the requirements of MTV and their 'hip' image.

This is probably one of the few instances where, by luck or design, decisions to go with existing and original characters were made with flawless precision.
Few characters unique to cartoons or films are as enjoyable as some of the characters seen in this show, which, granted, were largely designed off existing characters like Black Cat, Rocket Racer and Kraven. But that shouldn't discount the decision process which ultimately proves 'right'.

Likewise the peppering of characters like Lizard and Kingpin and Silver Sable throughout the series helps sustain a familiarity for interested existing fans like myself -- but does so in a way that allows them to do something fresh and suitable for the surroundings in which these versions of the characters exist.

In many ways, I almost think with rare exception that this series was Ultimate Spider-man done right. Even if that's an incredibly subjective opinion.

For my tastes it's just a much interesting balance of factors like having Parker back in schooling (college, rather than high), elements of the movie, reinvented versions of characters, and classic elements of the Spider-man formula.
It just brings it together in a way - and at a pace and style - that sustains my interest far and above the regularly disappointing Ultimate title, which currently stands as a vague parallel to the existing Spider-man.

This episode represents a fairly familiar take on the Lizard character, but recasts Dr. Conners with the voice of Rob Zombie, which actually works quite well, and gives a suitably gruff edge to this version of the character. The stiffness in Zombie's voice-acting compliments the writing, which takes the friendly scientist and reimagines him as a much shorter and superior character.

The family connection is presumably removed to better relate the character to younger MTV viewers, while also better condensing the character's story and history into a single, relevant, flowing episode. While it's something I like about the redeeming qualities and conundrum of fighting the Lizard, I think the tragic villain is still well captured, even though this version relies on taking the already unlikable and building that up until a brief moment at the very end of the episode.
It's classic, even without mirroring the exact motivations of the original.

Of course, the MTV and Mainframe gang didn't hit every right note.
As much as they have their triumphs, they have their 'movie Dr. Doom' in the reimagining of Electro as a college sophmore who undergoes a drastic transformation. That, however, might be an entry for another day!

The Fight: 6 The Episode: 6
NEXT WEEK: Can even Marvel's mighty mutants stop The Executioner?!