Monday, August 11, 2008

EYE ON: INFINITE WARS of the 1st OLYMPIAD!
Top 25 National Flag Bearers
#1 Batman (United States)
#2 Wolverine (Canada)
#3 Black Adam (Khandaq)
#4 Sub-Mariner (Atlantis)
#5 Ryu (Japan)
#6 Thor (Asgard)
#7 Storm (Wakanda)
#8 Goro (Outworld)
#9 Noob Saibot (China)
#10 Dhalsim (India)
#11 The Phantom (Bangalla)
#12 Wonder Woman (Themyscira)
#13 Dr. Doom (Latveria)
#14 Elektra (Greece)
#15 The Demon (Hell)
#16 Union Jack (Britain)
#17 Batroc (France)
#18 The Spectre (Heavens)
#19 Sagat (Thailand)
#20 Fei Long (Hong Kong)
#21 Colossus (Russia)
#22 Black Bolt (Attilan)
#23 Sunspot (Brazil)
#24 Rose (Italy)
#25 Champion (Ancrido Nebula)
In a world of champions, who goes for gold?
The heroes and villains of the Infinite Wars clash for medals in sports from the Summer Olympic Games!


Ladies and gentlemen, rejoice!
Mesdames et messieurs, célèbrent svp!

Delays have meant we're running a little too late to be topical, but we ask that you summon what's left of your olympic spirit, because before the Paralympics, there is to be another special event..!
Nous courons tard et ne pouvons pas être des nouvelles. Veuillez rassembler votre esprit olympique. Avant le Paralympics il y aura un événement spécial différent!

To celebrate the planet's greatest, most prolific sporting event, we're here to witness the world warriors of the comic book universes, pitted against one another in Olympic sporting competition.
Bonnes périodes, bonnes périodes, - fade - fade fade. Viva le Batroc! Le sauteur rendra la France fière comme il détruit vos champions faibles. Le Now est l'heure pour que la France monte. Vous ne nous déferez pas. Le sauteur donnera un coup de pied vos dents dans vos anus. Nous vous raillerons avec le rire. Fade fade en compétition sportive.

Numerical superiority means the Americans are almost assured competition victory, but then, the overall winner is never the real story of an Olympic games!
It's the courage of the individuals who combine to make a team. It's the success stories of competitors like Goro, who will leave behind wartorn Outworld to represent the ever changing boundaries of his homeworld in the wrestling.
These Olympics are about the changing zeitgeist of nations, reflecting shifts in representation, like Storm, who has joined Black Panther's tiny Wakandan team to be their flag bearer. Or what about Kal-El? The immigrant who became America's favourite son? Gee, that's special!
Goro est un oaf armé par quatre. Superman est le stupidest de eux tous. Ils manquent de la compétence qui assure Batroc; victoire de s. Superman peut des édifices hauts de saut de "dans un simple bondir" et Goro peut faire déplacer son "le transport frappent du pied" mais ni l'un ni l'autre ne peuvent prétendre être l'un sauteur vrai!

No Olympics is with out it's scandals, though.
The issue looming over this first Infinite Wars Olympics is the unsanctioned attrocities of the Skrulls. Their indiscretions have seen the alien race banned from competition this year, but this doesn't seem to have deterred their attacks on the Marvel Universe. We don't like to dwell on the negatives, but this will be the unfortunate footnote of these Infinite Wars Games.
Seulement un Américain d'idiot confierait à ses mots à un traducteur d'Internet. C'est comment Batroc fera des imbéciles de vous. Vous êtes des imbéciles. Stupide!

Cheer on your favourites, your countrymen, and your underdogs in this arbitrary distraction of thematics. Recount their successes as you tally the potential points you'll earn in the Fantasy League. We've talked at length about the world stage of the superheroes, but the time has come for battle: Commencez!
Un homme si stupide. Pourquoi parle-t-il tellement au sujet de ce non-sens? Je souhaite... Oh, Non! Je suis découvert! J'abandonne! J'abandonne!


Swimming Gold: Sub-Mariner (Atlantis)
Real Name: [Namor McKenzie]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#15]
Year One: [1939] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Aquaman] Bronze: [Attuma]

The Podium!
We start proceedings in the pool, and what a beginning it is!
Beijing 2008 might be remembered for Michael Phelps' record setting eight gold medals in the water cube, but in the Infinite Wars, acquatic dominance is the domain of Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner!

Aquaman broke barriers of life, death, and our unwritten rule to exclude inactive characters, only to bring home an admirable silver. Hoping to debunk popular theory that he's utterly usless, the other Atlantean monarch took great delight in bringing home the silver, but then, doesn't that just reinforce the point?

Sure, Aquaman can swim a good race, but when it comes to the crunch, where is he? When the cheque arrives, Aquaman makes a beeline for the bathroom, not to hide, but to find the nearest available water source to recover from the cost. Finger food was on the menu, and the recipe was AM's one good hand!

While they were united in representing Atlantis, it didn't stop Aquaman launching an assault on the smug gold medalist, but guess what? In the Infinite Wars water collesium there's no whales to hear you scream! Shame, Aquaman. Shame! You're a disgrace to the League, and to the superhero fraternity. Maybe if you spent less time posing behind Wonder Woman you'd be alive, and in possession of the gold! Get a catch phrase!

Archery Gold: Green Arrow (USA)
Real Name: [Oliver Queen]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#23]
Year One: [1939] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Red Arrow/Bullseye] Bronze: [Taskmaster/Hawkeye]

The Podium!
It wouldn't be an event without it's upsets!
Green Arrow shocks noone with his dominance in the archery, but the contested second and third spots may have produced the story of the games. While four seperate competitors bullseye their way to medals, it's Kate Bishop who rises to the challenge of meeting Taskmaster for bronze -- not Clint Barton!

The former Hawkeye turned Ronin proved unwilling to take up the bow and the many grim memories associated with it. This left his Young Avengers counterpart to steal the crumming glory along with Initiative Trainer, Taskmaster, whose observations of Barton contributed to his amazingly accurate archery!

Like Ronin, Green Arrow took up the sword in the last couple of years, but while his continued excellence in archery assured victory at these games, it's done little to settle the debate of which is the true superior! A question that seemed to linger over several competitors as former-Speedy, Red Arrow, put in a solid showing in the absence of his successor, Mia Dearden!

Boxing Gold: Champion of the Universe (Ancrido Nebula)
Real Name: [Tryco Slatterus]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#194]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Wildcat] Bronze: [Balrog]

The Podium!
The Infinite Wars Squared Circle was affectionately redubbed "the Slatter house" as Tryco Slatterus laid waste to any and all competitors who stepped into the ring with his power primordial!

Said to be one of the oldest beings in the universe; the Champion was completely mismatched against a host of victims that included; Moon Knight, Slam Bradley, and the Phantom!

Balrog got the Street Fighters excited with his heavy hitting medal performance, but even he proved completely insufficient against the cosmic powers of the Champion of the Universe!
It seems fair that an enquiry may be launched in the interim between this, and the next Infinite Wars Olympic Games, to determine whether a review of qualification practises may be required.

Infinite Wars superhero practises mean weight and sex classes are discounted in favour of pitting the pure powers of competitors against one and other. In theory we completely support this practise, but is the dominance of one competitor something to revile as a gross imbalance, or merely a feat to be praised?
When Jack Johnson enraged wowsers with his dominance of the sport, it became a competition to find opponents strong enough to beat the unbeatable. Is that not the very essence of the gentleman's games? Is this gladiatorial struggle not the very fabric by which we define our champions?

Cycling Gold: Ghost Rider (USA)
Real Name: [Johnny Blaze]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#53]
Year One: [1972] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Batman] Bronze: [The Knight]

The Podium!
In a year when The Dark Knight dominated theatre screens and entries in the Infinite Wars, it seemed all eyes were inevitably on the Batpod, but victory in the cycling was not to the Batman's to take! Despite controversy surrounding performance-enhancing demonic possession; Johnny Blaze was cleared to take the gold medal in what was ultimately a comfortable victory!

Batman's batpod competition ultimately proved to be his British counterpart, the Knight! Dedication and quality marked the big difference between the winners and the casual competitors who formed a pack just off the pace; Huntress, Robin, and Johnny Storm all valiant in their efforts.

The batpod looked sandwiched as the Dark Knight pushed his machine to the limits in what always boiled down to a three 'horse' race. The batpod tried desperately to match the relentless power of Ghost Rider's runaway hellcycle -- all the while fending off the pursuits of The Knight!

While the finish was ultimately somewhat predictable, it was exactly the kind of jostling the sport needed. Ghost Rider really represents the last of the seventies motorcycling champions, but we wonder if his performance and the mainstream attention of the Batpod might not turn things around.

Equestrian Gold: Valkyrie (Asgard)
Real Name: [Samantha Parrington]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#492]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Black Knight] Bronze: [Phantom]

The Podium!
Valkyrie may have been the first to bring home gold to the Asgards (to the chagrin of the Greeks), but her graceful riding of Aragorn was ironically dwarfed by Dane Whitman's silver winning return to prominence!

Whitman; better known to the world as Black Knight; had stayed in relative obscurity since his brief membership with the Heroes for Hire, but returned recently as an agent of MI5 in opposition to the Skrull invasion of Earth.
Whitman and Valkyrie share an interesting bond, being that it was he who gifted the white horse Aragorn to the Norse warrior. This familiarity, however, was not enough to shake the rust from Black Knight's armor.

Some parties felt the Phantom was unjustly cheated of points during his riding of the stallion, Hero. The Ghost Who Walks was nothing less than graceful in defeat, despite falling short. The chiefs of the Llongo tribe were soon calmed.

Fencing Gold: Nightcrawler (Germany)
Real Name: [Kurt Wagner]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#250]
Year One: [1975] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Swordsman] Bronze: [Ra's Al Ghul]

The Podium!
In such an aggressive sport few would expect the German sweep to be led by the playful X-Man, Nightcrawler! It was he and his countryman, Andreas von Strucker, that duked it out for the gold in an unlikely fencing final!

Ra's Al Ghul put Deathstroke down with sheer skill and grace with the blade, but was unable to match the speed, skill, and teleporting evasions of the eventual gold medallist. Their battles were but few of this hotly contested sport that garnered a surprising amount of attention, boasting a diverse range of competitors, including; Blade, Deadpool, Silver Samurai, and Ronin -- who sacrificed what many felt was an assured medal in the archery to compete!

Artistic Gymnastics Gold: Nightwing (USA)
Real Name: [Dick Grayson]
Win Percentage: [75%] Cumulative Rank: [#33]
Year One: [1940] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Nightcrawler] Bronze: [Deadman]

The Podium!
The rings might have been called the trapeez as former circus performers took centre stage in the artistic gymnastics. Nightcrawler looked to get the daily double, but struggled in the dying moments against the stoic performance of Nightwing. Those close to the industry pointed to Wagner's time spent with another event that left him second to Grayson's dedication.

Deadman proved a crowd favourite in his performance that narrowly budged out the acrobatic feats of Elektra, Black Canary, and Black Panther.
Protests came from groups disappointed by the mixed gender competition, feeling the women were judged more harshly than the men, but if this was the case, their voices were sure to be heard come the rhytmic gymnastics, which saw a total reversal of roles.

Rhythmic Gymnastics Gold: Spider-Woman (Britain)
Real Name: [Jessica Drew]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#214]
Year One: [1977] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Chun-Li] Bronze: [Daredevil]

The Podium!
A landslide victory in the rhytmnic gymnastics completely silence critics who felt mixed gender competition was counter-productive. Some might say it would be the traditional exclusivity of the rhythmic form that handed Spider-Woman the win, but when you take into account the dramatic scores, near perfect, other suspicions creep in. Infinite Wars officials have not launched any investigation, denouncing accusations of cheating as absurd, but we wonder!

Judges were not unkind to the silver and bronze.
Chun-Li's floor skills were unrivalled, while Daredevil undoubtedly rode his handling of the baton to a podium finish. Most would have to agree that the big disappointment, however, was Henry McCoy, whose struggles with dexterity left him performing well below what we know he has been capable of. It was presumably this that led him to pull out of the artistic event.

Judo Gold: Batman (USA)
Real Name: [Bruce Wayne]
Win Percentage: [68.57%] Cumulative Rank: [#1]
Year One: [1939] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Tommy Jagger] Bronze: [Kingpin]

The Podium!
The Dark Knight detective has been a dominant force in the Infinite Wars so when it came to pitting his diverse skills against his contemporaries in sporting conquests, many expected a clean sweep. Pipped at the post by Ghost Rider, the Batman would have to wait to his chosen martial art, Judo, to actually pick up an event victory.

Son-of-Judomaster, Tommy Jagger, played an obvious second, with Kingpin sneaking in the back to send a bulky reminder of his own muscular prowess and fighting abilities!

Taekwondo Gold: Ryu (Japan)
Real Name: [Ryu]
Win Percentage: [42.86%] Cumulative Rank: [#16]
Year One: [1987] Company: [Capcom]
Silver: [Iron Fist] Bronze: [Jin Kazama]

The Podium!
Taekwondo split the martial artists down the middle, but invited a range of strikers and practitioners of alternate styles to compete successfully.
As might be expected of an Infinite Wars Games, the TKD attracted some of the largest numbers of competitors, but eventually the glut of martial arts experts were whittled down to three, but not without controversy!

The Lin Kuei warrior, Hydro, launched into an unprecedented assault on officials when his match against Black Canary began to shift in the Canary's favour. The feeble attack was quickly ended by other officials on hand, and earnt the martial artist a lifetime ban from competition. Not that really matters given that his life was promptly ended by Scorpion [Mortal Kombat: Blood & Thunder #4].

Japan's success in the traditional Korean art was punctuated by bronze from iron fist fighter, Jin Kazama.
Iron Fist successfully split the difference, struggling against the rounded attack of Ryu's strikes.

Weight Lifting Gold: Hulk (USA)
Real Name: [Dr. Bruce Banner]
Win Percentage: [58.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#5]
Year One: [1962] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Superman] Bronze: [Wonder Man]

The Podium!
Famous for once holding the weight of a mountain on his shoulders; the incredible Hulk lived up to his title, using sheer determination to overcome the mighty muscles of his opposition. The usual suspects were present to cast aspertions over the validity of gamma-irradiated enhancements, but in a world of gods and monsters, who can really say what is unfair in these games?

Wonder Man put on a show for the fans in the early goings [ala; West Coast Avengers Annual #5], but was swamped by his physical superiors. The bronze didn't deter his enthusiasm for crowds who were keen to interview the media savvy superhero. The gold medallist was much less receptive to press, opting to spend his time skulking in the dark corners of the Infinite Wars village.

Wrestling Gold: Hercules (Greece)
Real Name: [Heracles]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#530]
Year One: [1965] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Thing] Bronze: [Zangief]

The Podium!
The battle against evil is a non-stop regime, but preperation can so often prove to be the difference in the lead-up to an event like the Infinite Wars Olympic Games. As one of the rising stars of 2008, anticipation surrounding Hercules' entry into these games, and win the wrestling, he did not disappoint.

Thing looked assured to give the original Olympian a run for his money, but off the back of recent struggles [Hulk vs Hercules: When Titans Collide], the prince of power summoned an immense reserve that may or may not have left judges questioning the legality of his moves. Avoiding suspension, Hercules led the charge of a superhuman pankration pummeling!

Purists would have been happy to see Russian superstar, Zangief, walk away with a bronze, the 'Red Tornado Czar of Wrestling' representing the presence of non-superpowered powerhouses. He proved to be the chief hopeful of the Russian team, whose presence was understated in the superhero stakes.

Sprinting Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Wally West]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#20]
Year One: [1959] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Zoom] Bronze: [Superman]

The Podium!
Action on the track, as with any games, was one of the most eagerly anticipated moments of these Infinite Wars Olympics. The internal rivalry of US representatives, Flash and Superman, was the main event of the sprints, everyone keen to confirm their own theories of the superior.

Completed with a multi-coloured blur, it was quite literally a super-photo finish that revealed the winner as the Flash! His mastery of sonic speeds gave the scarlet speedster an instant victory, overcoming his opponents in the blink of an eye. It was a record setting score, putting Superman in third behind the staccato race run by Zoom, who appeared to materialize partway through the track.

Marathon Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Jay Garrick]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#255]
Year One: [1940] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Spitfire] Bronze: [Flash]

The Podium!
Longevity was the key to the marathon which was run over several million miles. The Golden Age Flash never looked to be truly challenged, fending off the pursuits of the British Invader, Spitfire, who, despite her youthful appearance, struggled to maintain the same unerring presence.

Barry Allen proved an unlikely entrant into the fray, appearing at the starting line from a vibrating vortex of time defying speeds. The long thought dead Flash proved relevance after death is a two-way street, giving the speedster legs to round-out the triple threat representation of the speed force Flashes!

Hurdles Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Wally West]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#20]
Year One: [1959] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Superman] Bronze: [Batroc]

The Podium!
Those dissatisfied by the results of the sprint had an opportunity to place their bets once more as Superman and Flash went head to head, this time with the obstacle of periodic hurdles. The jumps managed to slow several competitors, but with a slower group on the whole, it was Batroc the Leaper who had the spring in his step to bounce his way to an admirable bronze!

Flash once again showed his superior speeds against the Man of Steel, undeterred by obstacles that were similarly leaped with ease by his JLA teammate. The high speed event was a preview of what was sure to be an exciting meet of the high jump, where Superman's leap would again be tested, this time under isolated conditions!

Long Jump Gold: Nova (USA)
Real Name: [Richard Rider]
Win Percentage: [33.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#85]
Year One: [1976] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Cannonball] Bronze: [Hulk]

The Podium!
While the track was lit up with the streaking blurs of speedsters, the long jump featured a similar treatment as each competitor blasted their way to record setting jumps. The last of the Nova Corps Centurian was in his element, rocketting ahead of the similarly legblurring blasts of Cannonball.

Hulk's conventional approach to the leap was the odd-style-out in an event that showcased those dwarfed and those boosted by rocket powered pounces.

High Jump Gold: Superman (USA)
Real Name: [Kal-El aka; Clark Kent]
Win Percentage: [58.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#4]
Year One: [1938] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Hulk] Bronze: [Toad]

The Podium!
A veritable swiss army knife of superhuman abilities; Superman's power to leap tall buildings in a single bound was what finally garnered a gold medal performance. He found himself once again pitted against the prowess of his Marvel counterpart, Hulk, whose impressive vertical leap is sometimes misinterpreted by the uninitiated as flight.

Strict rules kept soaring out of the event, despite the fantastic heights achieved in the field event. As with other events, bronze saw a drop from the high flying inhuman strengths of the top two, allowing Toad to represent the mutants of the world with his own springing step.

A French protest against the top heavy contest saw Batroc withdraw from the event mere moments before it's start. After suffering a crushing defeat in the event, a Captain Britain in good spirits said he was reminded of the cowardice shown by the French in the Second World War. The resulting brawl was expectedly short, swiftly ending the Frenchman's games.

Shotput Gold: Hercules (Greece)
Real Name: [Heracles]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#530]
Year One: [1965] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Olympian] Bronze: [Green Goblin]

The Podium!
Rivalries had feulled much of the action in the Infinite Wars Games.
Superman's tussles with the Hulk and Flash; Namor and Aquaman's aquatic rivalry; and the aborted battle of archers, Green Arrow and Hawkeye; were major moments in the games, but as the field events continued, a new rivalry was about to form within the ranks of the Greek team.

Hercules and Olympic spurred each other to medal winning performances, neither willing to concede to their highly competitive counterpart. The prowess of an army of Argonauts wasn't enough to put the wielder of the golden fleece over the line. Hercules, declaring himself king of the games, claimed his second gold with little to no humility. This boasting, however, was soon to come back to haunt him.

Discus Gold: Olympian (Greece)
Real Name: [Aristedes Demetrios]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#497]
Year One: [1982] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Hercules] Bronze: [Captain America]

The Podium!
It was a mission of retribution as Olympian faced off once more against Hercules in a second toss, this time with the discus. Though the prince of power had the strength to push the discus to fantastic distances, it was technique and determination that launched Aristedes Demetrios' golden discs into the medal winning position.

For Olympian, who dedicated the victory to Helena Sandsmark, it proved to be an emotionally charged win. Demetrios described his gold medal as a testmant to the Greek people to whom he felt some responsibility as a super power that had failed them in the past. His struggles with mental illness were well documented in the Greek press during the nineties, but it seemed those troubles were definitely behind him, presenting a newly confident Olympian to the world.

Hammer Toss Gold: Thor (Asgard)
Real Name: [Thor]
Win Percentage: [35.71%] Cumulative Rank: [#19]
Year One: [1962] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Ronan] Bronze: [Steel]

The Podium!
The Kree presence at these Infinite Wars Games served a reminder to the bar placed on Skrull competitors. Commentary provided by Kl'rt, the original Super-Skrull, ignited outrage from the Kree representation when he described them as vultures picking at the Skrulless scraps of these mostly human oriented competitions.

Ronan had plenty of accusations to dish out, many of them overlapping with previous events, if not the moral fibre of the Super-Skrull and his people. Ronan claimed many unsuccessful competitors had actually been Skrulls in disguise as others, but officials assured no Skrull was able to bypass newly developed detection technologies provided by Reed Richards, who had cracked methods used to successfully disguise their presence.

The many distractions probably didn't help Ronan's performance in the hammer toss, but there was never any question that a newly resurrected Thor was going to blitz the competition. The Norse god of thunder showed a new maturity in his throwing, approaching the technique with a calm serenity that distanced him from previous outings. It was an impressive win!

Javelin Gold: Javelin (Galador)
Real Name: [Darin]
Win Percentage: [NA] Cumulative Rank: [NR]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Scorpion] Bronze: [Hawkman]

The Podium!
As the Infinite Wars Games wound down to it's final events, the strangest collection of competitors gathered for the javelin. Hercules and Olympian's dedication to the ancient events overlooked the javelin, leaving the competition wide open to some of the less likely competitors!

Javelin; Spaceknight ally of ROM [pictured]; proved the ultimate chucker of this particular round. Scorpion's expertise with the roped ninja spear gave him the throwing strength to put in a good show, while Hawkman's expertise with medieval weaponry, including spears and javelins, gave him a strong bronze.

Shooting Gold: Deadshot (USA)
Real Name: [Floyd Lawton]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#191]
Year One: [1950] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Bullseye] Bronze: [Deathstroke]

The Podium!
Though not actually the final event to begin, the marathon shooting rounds continued throughout the games as crackshots tried to seperate themselves through a seemingly endless tie. Few stuck around to witness the gunmen in action, but it's said it got quite lively as competitors tried various (lethal) techniques to put each other off.

Bullseye, the favourite of the event, found himself tripped up by the cunning and marksmanship of Deadshot. So confident was Deadshot he was glad to shoot with one eye tied behind his mask, matching the imparement of Deathstroke.

Shooters including Punisher, Deadpool, Cable, Black Widow, and the Phantom engaged runaway competitors after the event. No fatalities were recorded, but Kurtis Stryker was said to have been grazed by several of his own bullets, all shot directly into the air above him. Remember kids - guns aren't toys!

That wraps up the 2008 Infinite Wars Olympic Games!
For disgruntled response and updates on investigations into cheat claims you can refer to the comments! Stay tuned on the Infinite Wars for more exciting competition including more hand-to-hand combat, belated Olympic references, and the top statistical powers as voted by you! (Remember, head to the top right to vote in that final poll!)

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