AVENGERS versus KANG THE CONQUEROR

First Blood (Marvel)
Where: Avengers #2 When: December 1996 Why: Rob Liefeld, Jim Valentino & Jeph Loeb How: Chap Yaep

The Story So Far...
Facing apparent death in their battle against the psionic entity called Onslaught -- The Avengers and Fantastic Four were whisked to the safety of a pocket dimension created subconsciously by naive mutant Franklin Richards.

Beginning their lives anew with no knowledge of their true history: The Avengers are founded under the direction of Nick Fury and SHIELD, to act as a global peace-keeping force against super-powered threats also newly manifesting on this Counter Earth.

Bolstered by the addition of Captain America and Thor; The Avengers are a powerful assembly whose legend will inevitably continue into the distant future. A future ruled by Kang The Conqueror, who has travelled through time to defeat history's mightiest heroes!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Thor 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Kang 6 (Genius)
Speed: Captain America 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Thor 6 (Generator)
Agility: Hellcat 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting: Captain America 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Kang 5 (Lasers)
Total: Kang The Conqueror 29 (Metahuman)

The Avengers are: Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye, Vision, Swordsman, Scarlet Witch, and Hellcat.

Starting from scratch in the pocket universe -- these Avengers are still relatively new to working with each other. They just recruited Thor in the previous issue, when he saw through his brother's manipulations, and helped to defeat him.

Scarlet Witch was key to their victory, using hex powers to turn Loki's spell back against him, but it remains to be seen how her awesome magicks will affect the futuristic technology of Kang The Conqueror.

This time Kang hails from the even farther flung future of the 31st century: a variant conjured to this universe by Franklin Richards based upon his distant descendent -- the time travelling Nathaniel Richards, who is typically cited as having conquered the 30th century.

It was that Kang who deployed the Avengers to Limbo to destroy a facsimile of himself in a quest to consolidate power by eliminating all Kang variants diverging from his prime timeline. A feat achieved with advanced technology that allows him to effortlessly traverse time and space.

Kang is also outfitted in advanced armor, which grants him super-human strength and durability, gravity-defiance, defensive force-fields, and an arsenal of weaponry capable of deploying concussive blasts and other attacks.

Captain America's tactical savvy should help the team coordinate, but it's Thor who offers the most obvious counter-attack to Kang's incredibly powers.

We've seen The God of Thunder face similar versatile threats from The Mandarin, Nebula, Super-Skrull, Thanos, Juggernaut, Doctor Doom, and even DC's Superman and Captain Marvel! Will he be the difference maker? Let's find out!

The Tape: Avengers Ranking: Captain America (#7)

What Went Down...

The appearance of a massive spaceship floating over New York City prompts Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury, to activate his Avengers for a full investigation, and if necessary, neutralization of any emerging threat.

Captain America doesn't much like the cut of Fury's jib, but with Scarlet Witch and Hellcat already in the field, the team is quick to mobilize against a mysterious individual already in the process of engaging the women.

A simple gesture directs a blast of energy that engulfs Scarlet Witch and Hellcat!

The remaining Avengers arrive just in time to witness the assault. Cap discreetly makes sure Hawkeye has a clean shot, but Thor is too incensed to give the archer opportunity to strike first. Kang invites it with no clearer motive: "Your move."

The God of Thunder obliges -- tossing his mighty hammer Mjolnir!

Remarkably the weapon stalls beyond Kang's outstretched hand, igniting with sparks of electricity as it collides with a force-field surrounding him!

Captain America recognizes the danger and orders Hawkeye to try to rally Scarlet Witch to make use of her awesome magicks that stopped Loki.

Swordsman sees the need for a distraction to give Hawkeye a clear run, but his attempt to take the initiative is immediately squashed, much to Captain America's chagrin. Swords are simply no match for Kang's advanced technology!

Cap tries to restore order so the team can regroup, but Thor refuses to yield.

"Do what thou must, Captain. But, no being, mortal or god, may take the fabled Mjolnir from my side -- and not rue the day!"

The thunder god brings down the very heavens, dive bombing Kang in blaze of lightning that explodes around the force-field bubble, and rips through the surrounding earth!

The Avengers feel the fallout as Scarlet Witch does her best to shield she and Hellcat from the erupting energies. As she struggles, The Witch compels Hawkeye to help the rest of the team, even as he finds himself lacking any clear shot.

Captain America rallies Vision and Hawkeye to his side for a final stand.

Hawkeye sends the first salvo, much to Kang's amusement.

The arrow sails straight and true, inevitably striking Kang's force-field -- but this "toy" contains a thermite incendiary tip that burns through bubble and deactivates the defensive barrier!

Captain America throws his mighty shield -- knocking Kang off his feet, while Vision takes the order to glide toward the threat and neutralize it by phasing through his body to cause him discomfort -- and submission.

Alas, Kang's futuristic defenses are vast and many. Before the android can shift his density, The Conqueror orders his ship to open fire -- blasting Vision with a massive explosion!

Thor gravely returns to the battlefield, mournfully coming face to face with Kang under the belief that his new comrades have perished. He vows to avenge his fallen allies by spilling Kang's blood.

The ferocity and power of Thor's attack is enough to cause even Kang alarm.

He desperately calls for assistance from his ship as Thor rains down bareknuckle blows against his restored force-field!

A beam of energy blasts Thor from behind and surrounds him in another bubble that is dragged towards the ship. A futuristic assault that allows Kang The Conqueror to claim the thunder god as trophy in victory.

The Hammer...

Remembering that Kang featured prominently in this issue, I figured it might be fun to go back to Heroes Reborn to take a fresh look. After all, he's given pride of place as the first real threat to the pocket universe's fully formed Avengers, after they were deployed to Norway, and recruited Thor from the side of Loki.

Some of Heroes Reborn reads like a prototype version of Ultimate Marvel, and I guess that includes the highs and lows, as Kang The Conqueror is reduced to a far less interesting villain, coming from the distant future of the 31st century for the expressed purpose of impressing Mantis by beating up history's famed Avengers and nothing much more.

It's kind of a weirdly underwhelming take on what could've been a very unique and interesting villain. One whose status outside the present-day Marvel Universe could've allowed Kang full knowledge of the battle with Onslaught, and the false new reality that was created to contain the heroes.

There doesn't appear to be any acknowledgement of the fact that Loki was accidentally sent to Limbo in the prior issue. A domain notably claimed by Kang The Conqueror in past issues of Avengers, and a natural means for alerting him to the existence of the Heroes Reborn universe.

Kang might've used his unique awareness to attempt to conquer this world and use it for his own ends -- or perhaps escape it, having been accidentally caught by Franklin Richards while travelling from the future, rather than simply being a facsimile created within the world to occupy the heroes before their return.

In that situation Kang could've been key to unravelling the mystery of this new reality, investigating the lost history of The Avengers and Fantastic Four. He could've been a pivotal figure in the whole affair! Granted, that was a role reserved for Doctor Doom, and Kang probably didn't quite have the cachet to demand that level of attention at the time. That wouldn't come until a few years later when Kurt Busiek devises the epic Kang Dynasty -- a year-long story that put Kang back on top with his conquest of the present day.

Exactly how much clarity or planning was going into the pages of Heroes Reborn's Avengers Volume 2 is not evident, and difficult to gauge.

Three hands in writing might not have helped artist Chap Yaep, whose pencils are frustratingly unfocused throughout the battle of Avengers #2. His staging too often centers around unimportant aspects of subject matter, passing up opportunities for dynamic narrative shots of characters in action, in favour of messy layouts filled with dead space, awkward zooming, literal voids, and splashes of relative inaction.

Layouts are unmistakably Liefeldian, but storytelling particularly dips here, held together by script and/or dialogue credited to Jim Valentino (script), and Jeph Loeb (dialogue), respectively. Without their words scenes become less clear.

As I recall, things settle down in the next issue, and continue to improve when Ian Churchill joins the team in Avengers #4. Even so, it isn't wildly surprising that Marvel chose to sever ties mid-series with the Rob Liefeld portion of their Image-produced Heroes Reborn titles. There is an unmistakable air of chaos and waste. A sense of carelessness, and things just barely being held together by a ballooning creative team.

The editorial shakeup reportedly happened at issue #6, and will become evident in credits for Avengers #8, when Walt Simonson formally takes over writing duties, introducing a second contrary Thor to the equation, and generally restoring more normalcy to the Avengers and their portrayals ahead of their imminent repatriation to the main universe in Heroes Reborn: The Return.

The second Thor highlights the potential complication the Heroes Reborn universe adds to our rankings, but per the rules of alternate realities, we consider these to be off-shoots connected to the main character, unless otherwise stated.

No doubt we'll return to explore more from Heroes Reborn some time in the future, as well as more from Kang The Conqueror. If you'd like to see those things and more you should follow links to topics throughout this post -- or check out the Secret Archive for a complete index of featured fights in order of publisher, series, and issue number.

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Winner: Kang The Conqueror
#420 (+564) Kang The Conqueror
#7 (--) Captain America
#17 (--) Thor
#90 (--) Hawkeye
#125 (-20) Hellcat
#155 (-7) Vision
#441 (-1) Scarlet Witch
#991 (-336) Swordsman

AVENGERS versus MANDARIN

Thieves Honor (Marvel)
Where: Avengers #313 When: January 1990
Why: John Byrne How: Paul Ryan & Tom Palmer

The Story So Far...
A series of sudden super-villain attacks have stretched the ranks of The Avengers across the country as they respond to the decimation of their coastal island Hydrobase, and underground Manhattan headquarters!

Only Edwin Jarvis is on hand to raise the alarm when The Mandarin begins a frontal assault on an already damaged & unguarded Avengers Park. All thanks to Loki and his Acts of Vengeance designed to organize and consolidate the resources of some of the world's most powerful super-criminals!

Not content to leave their butler to face another siege: Captain America leads the call to assemble on Central Park -- but with The Wizard circling the skies over New York City, the star-spangled super-soldier will have to rely on the few local heroes able to answer the call!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Captain America 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Mandarin 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Captain America 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Captain America 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Black Widow 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting: Captain America 6 (Warrior)
Energy: Mandarin 6 (Mass Destruction)
Total: Captain America 28 (Metahuman)

The Avengers are: Captain America, Black Widow, and Hellcat.

Wonder Man and Vision accompanied Captain America on the trip from the West Coast, but had to peel away to take on The Wizard. That means Cap is relying on unpowered first responders Black Widow and Hellcat -- less than ideal against the ten rings of power wielded by The Mandarin!

Although appearing mystical in nature, each of Mandarin's rings is originally part of an alien technology that grants him specific skills. The names and breadth of their power has changed over the years, but the basics remain true:

The Ice Blast, or "Zero" Ring, is worn on the left little finger, and does exactly what it sounds like, generating sufficient cold to freeze anything in ice. That might give Cap some unfortunate flashbacks to his post-war suspended animation, but as we saw when he battled Cold War, he can keep a handle on it.

The Mento-Intensifier, or "Liar" Ring, is worn on the left ring finger, and can be used to bring a person under Mandarin's thrall, or generate a world of inescapable illusion penetrating the victim's very mind.

The Electro-Blast, or "Lightning" Ring, is on the left middle finger, and can deliver powerful bolts of electricity through the air! A power not unlike its namesake, but Cap's shield was able to absorb Loki's electric attacks in Avengers (Vol.2) #1.

The Flame Blast, or "Incandescence" Ring, worn on the left index finger, can super-heat the air by emitting radiation to fire potent jets of flame of varying intensities. Another one handily blocked by Cap's shield, as seen when he met Ghost Rider in Avengers #214!

The White Light, or "Daimonic" Ring, is worn on the left thumb, and traditionally emits various electro-magnetic spectrums, which has also been known to effect a susceptible target's mood, or mental state.

The Black Light, or "Nightbringer" Ring, sits on the right little finger, and projects an area of total darkness. Its energies are associated with the inter-dimensional Darkforce used by Darkstar for a variety of offensive & defensive projections, and contained within Cloak, who can trap opponents within its endless darkness.

The Disintegration Beam, or "Spectral" Ring, worn on the right ring finger, is traditionally used to destroy anything it strikes, unmaking it on a molecular level with an estimated 20-minute charge time. Cap's no stranger to avoiding those kinds of attacks, dodging Red Skull's blast cannons since the Second World War!

The Vortex Beam, or "Spin" Ring, is wielded on the right middle finger, and can allow The Mandarin to fly, levitate targets, or generate massive swirling winds as offensive weapons. It has also been associated with moving at super-speeds.

The Impact Beam, or "Influence" Ring, is a standard favourite for The Mandarin, using his right index finger to direct powerful blasts and waves of energy. It's an equivalent to a lot of energy blasters, such as Titanium Man's, which Black Widow was agile and canny enough to avoid, with added shielding from Iron Man!

The Matter Re-Arranger, or "Remaker" Ring, is worn on the right thumb and allows for limited molecular and atomic manipulation of matter. It's commonly used for generating poisonous gases from thin-air, and altering Mandarin's appearance.

Agility and avoidance are the greatest tools Captain America, Black Widow, and Hellcat have at their disposal. The Mandarin's rings are incredibly powerful, but also limited in their scope. His defense is shored with a modern suit of armor, but a coordinated strike could potentially still defeat him!

The Tape: Avengers Ranking: Captain America (#7)

What Went Down...

Black Widow and Hellcat leap across the rooftops as Captain America's modified quinjet soars down beside them on a course towards Avengers Park.

He hails the assembling heroes over the jet's exterior speaker and advises them to hang back while he takes a recon flight over the attack sight. It's a good plan to protect his unpowered teammates, but the Captain never gets to make the flight -- blasted out of the sky by The Mandarin!

The Quinjet makes a dramatic, skidding crash landing into the rubble of Avengers Park as The Mandarin gloats over his successful strike!

Mandarin stalks toward his prey with Cap slumped in the exposed driver's seat -- rattled by the violent impact that tore the jet open like a tin can! 

The villain clutches the barely conscious Captain in the pilot's seat and raises his hand to prepare a killing blow -- but it's suddenly snared by the Black Widow's high tensile line!

Black Widow yanks The Mandarin away from the jet and introduces herself to the stunned villain.

Enraged at her interference he pivots to draw his free hand and blast a stream of fire from the ring of Incandescence. Widow narrowly avoids it, delighting at the unseen arrival of her comrade in arms -- Hellcat!

Hellcat leaps onto The Mandarin's armored shoulders and rakes her steel alloy claws across his frustrated façade!

The villain struggles beneath the grip of Hellcat's entangled arms and legs while Black Widow takes the opportunity to rush in an deliver a flying kick!

The two-on-one advantage doesn't last long. The Mandarin catches Black Widow by the ankle and tosses her across the park -- while also flipping Hellcat off his back and over his shoulder!

They spill across the rocky terrain -- vulnerable to another of his ring attacks!

The Influencer ring sprays concussive energy blasts across the battlefield that shatter the very ground beneath Black Widow & Hellcat's feet!

The heroic pair look severely outgunned when The Mandarin is once again caught by surprise from another attack at the rear!

This time it's Captain America who's able to return the favour to his allies, tossing his mighty shield directly into The Mandarin's armored helmet!

The chauvinistic villain is frustrated by Cap's recovery, but accepts that the battle can now be between men "as it should be". His Ice Blast "Zero" ring makes for an unfortunate irony as he encases Captain America's feet in ice -- a chilly fate all too familiar to the super-soldier once suspended in a frozen tundra.

At that same time -- Mandarin's partner in the Acts of Vengeance, The Wingless Wizard, glides overhead, bringing his battle with Wonder Man & Vision into convergence with the other Avenger's struggle.

Spotting the immobilized Captain America from the sky above -- The Wizard attempts to finish him off with a blast from his gauntlet, but Cap lurches forward into an evasive diving roll!

Wonder Man regains The Wizard's attentions, while The Mandarin plots a strategic retreat, blaming his ally for fouling his attack. He's so distracted by the failure he doesn't notice yet another Avenger arriving until his struck by his hammer!

Mjolnir collides with Mandarin's armored body and knocks him off his feet before flying back to the waiting hand of Thor!

The God of Thunder doesn't take kindly to The Mandarin's abuse of his powers!

He charges the rising villain, striking mightily with with a hammer-held uppercut!

Meanwhile, Vision comes to Captain America's aid, melting the ice from his feet with carefully applied eye beams. The liberation allows all Avengers present to assemble against the tyrannical twosome!

The Mandarin summons the dark forces of the Black Light Nightbringer ring to shroud his enemies -- and The Wizard -- in inescapable darkness!

He condemns his ally to suffer the consequences of their defeat, while the veil of darkness allows The Mandarin a clean getaway. He flies into the air -- gone before the heroes regain their sight.

The Hammer...

The arrival of Thor tips the scales in favour of The Avengers and drives The Mandarin into a hasty retreat. Bad news for The Wizard, who's left to face the music when his co-conspirator in the Acts of Vengeance betrays him upon exit!

Wizard was otherwise engaged in a completely separate aerial skirmish with Wonder Man and Vision, but chose to converge with the fighting in Avengers Park, taking potshots at Captain America. Not his only tactical error it would seem, but we'll take a closer look at his fight another time.

As it happens: the in-fighting is rife amongst the bad guys, who're duking it out while observing from their private meeting chambers, as well.

It seems Doctor Doom has nothing but contempt for The Mandarin and the inefficiencies of his frivolous, showy fighting style, while Red Skull is losing patience with Doom's arrogance. An inevitably violent clash of egos ensues -- another battle for us to return to some time in the future.

As a matter of housekeeping: Aficionados may also be interested to note I've chosen to predominantly refer to The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #15 when breaking down The Mandarin's rings in The Tape section.

That particular 1984 issue is the wonderfully informative "Book of Weapons, Hardware, and Paraphernalia" -- a reference tome that answered a lot of common fan questions about the basic practicality of various devices, and locations.

With regards to The Mandarin's rings; The Handbook is obviously a little outdated, but the basics remain true. You'll note that I've also included, and alluded to, the more recent names & abilities outlined in 2010's Invincible Iron Man Annual #1.

If you didn't pay close attention to the information, you might like to scroll back and take a second look. It will allow you to appreciate the exquisite attention to detail of artist Paul Ryan's pencils, which assign each blast from The Mandarin's rings to the exact finger. Scripted or not -- it's the mark of a great comics artist!

Ryan was also saddled with the slightly less intricate design Mandarin was wearing around this time. I've never been all that crazy about this armor. It's serviceable, but never seemed to ring true. I suppose I would've preferred something more ornate, reminiscent of the colourfully stylized Chinese armor popular in wuxia.

A colour scheme of green, gold, and a little red or purple would've recalled other eras of Mandarin's design, but I suspect distancing the character from earlier incarnations was a deliberate conceit. When he wasn't in this blue & silver shell, he could typically be found wearing a tasteful suit consistent with his corporate machinations of the time. A welcome evolution for the modern era.

Modernizing the character has been an on-going concern, with greater emphasis on science-based explanations for his rings redefining them as Makluan machine parts accessing other dimensions. Personally, I think this flirts with a loss of imagination, and prefer a Mandarin whose mysticism clashes with Iron Man's technology -- not that the two ideas necessarily have to be mutually exclusive.

I do enjoy the more pulpy depictions of Mandarin, though. At the risk of being regressive: I think my favourite Mandarin design is the green & gold robes he returned to throughout much of the nineties. Its a style that very vaguely alludes to over-the-top villainy of Fu Manchu, albeit with a slightly more convincing approximation of Chinese imperial robes than Christopher Lee's qipao.

These allusions made the character a bit of a tricky subject when Marvel Studios attempted to adapt the character in Iron Man 3, and again, as a Fu Manchu stand-in in Shang-Chi and The Legend of the Ten Rings.

The substitution was as much a product of Shang-Chi's fictional father not being a Marvel owned property, but so fraught was their efforts to navigate the minefield of cultural sensitivities for the Chinese theatrical market, it seems the studio took a blank cheque approach. They retained so little from the source that the titular ten rings aren't even worn on the fingers! Not that Marvel Studios have ever been overly concerned with their comic book counterparts...

Here in comic book land Avengers #313 is a serviceable chapter in the Acts of Vengeance storyline, delivering one of the heavy hitters from the inner-circle of the villainous alliance. It's a little weird that so many heroes were dispersed after the action of the last issue, but anti-Avengers public protests explains that.

It's a fun time in Marvel Comics and Avengers history, and I particularly get a kick out of the unlikely team-up between Black Widow and Hellcat! They're out of their league taking on Mandarin, but turn out to be a terrifically fun tag team!

If you'd like to see the entirety of the team-up and today's featured fight you can find it all collected in Avengers: Acts of Vengeance and Avengers by John Byrne. Use the Amazon purchase links provided and you'll not only assemble a great deal delivered to your door -- you'll also help support the site at no extra cost!

If you like reliving, reviewing, and ranking superhero smackdown you can go the extra mile to keep us in the fight by becoming a Patreon subscriber! As a thank you you'll unlock access to extra updates, polls, and options to sponsor your very own custom articles! Not to mention earning my undying gratitude.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has featured well over 600 battles and ranked more than 1000 characters! You can discover them all by following links throughout this post, or by diving into the Secret Archive for a complete index of featured fights in order of publisher, series, and issue number!

Get free daily links to battles inspired by the hot topics of the day by subscribing on Twitter and Facebook. Don't forget to like, fave, and share posts, and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday!

Winner: Thor (w/ Captain America, Black Widow & Hellcat)
#20 (+1) Thor
#7 (--) Captain America [+1 assist]
#41 (+1) Black Widow [+1 assist]
#101 (+6) Hellcat [+1 assist]
#144 (--) Vision [+1 assist]
#418 (+3) The Wizard [+1 assist]
#972 (-257) The Mandarin

AVENGERS versus THOR/LOKI
Awaken the Thunder (Marvel comics)
Where: Avengers #1 When: November 1996
Why: Jim Valentino & Rob Liefeld How: Chap Yaep & Rob Liefeld

The story so far...
Onslaught, a psychic manifestation of powerful telepath, Professor Charles Xavier, has been defeated. The cost, it seems, is the lives of Earth's mightiest heroes: the Avengers, but unbeknownst to the world their heroes have been reborn in a pocket dimension created by super-mutant: Franklin Richards, son of Invisible Woman and Mister Fantastic.

Completely unaware of their fate, the heroes emerge from their new surroundings and origins, as if compelled by destiny itself to fulfill their roles as the great heroes they were intended to be. Surrounding the reawakened super-soldier, Captain America; Vision, Hellcat, Swordsman, Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch are assembled again for the first time as -- The Avengers!

SHIELD rally their team of superheroes to Norway, where archaeologist Donald Blake has unearthed what he believes may be the Norse god of thunder, Thor, and his enchanted hammer Mjolnir. Unable to break the amber that entombs him, the Avengers step up to the plate, but are they opening Pandora's box?...

Previous Form:
Captain America (#9): Had a Heroes Reborn victory over MODOK and Baron Zemo.
Vision (#217): Appeared as a member of the Secret Avengers during Civil War.
Avengers [#2]: Recently defeated by The Destroyer.
Thor (#20): Suffered a harsh defeat against the Asgardian Destroyer.
Loki: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Thor 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Loki 5 (Professor)
Speed: Captain America 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Thor 6 (Generator)
Agility: Hellcat 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Thor 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Scarlet Witch 7 (Solar Power)


This has by no means been an easy entry to approach. As much as it might have to do with the excruciatingly pointed Liefeldian noses, it's also to do with the Liefeldian concept.

Okay, okay, no. I'm not going to go there the entire review, but this is probably one of those times I'd actually do it. What makes tackling this tale of the tape difficult (and the last input of the month), is the fact that this issue features a duplicate Thor, unique to this universe, and a character called Swordsman, who was later revealed to be Lielfeld-original; Deadpool. Which, is very neat, but also presents a difficult situation for the statistics where we have a counterpart unique to this dimension, which was supposed to be contained within our own and therefore controlled by who is and isn't present in our dimension. Ugh.

We know that a Thor and Loki are teaming up here, which is always going to be a pretty rough ride for the Avengers. Thor is in the upper echelon of powers, proficient in the art of war, rabble raising and general drunken disorder.
Loki has lots of little jinx and hex powers, and can generally stir anyone already in a frenzy to act in his favour, ever the deceiver. So, with an amped up Thor that's been trapped in amber in Norway for years, yeah... That's gonna be some situation the Avengers are stepping in to.

This is not by any measure the most impressive order of Avengers, either.
Captain America, Vision and Scarlet Witch represent some of the classic heavy-hitting old guard, while Hawkeye is also in tow, looking a bit more like Wolverine without all the potential for lethal force and unbridled bad assery.

Then there's the unmistakingly Liefeldian twist of the afforementioned Swordsman who is ultimately revealed to be this world's version of Deadpool, sometime after he gets his hands crushed by the Hulk. And, to top it all off, a feral Hellcat joins the team, looking not unlike Liefeld favourite Feral from the X-Force. Why the transformation in this universe is a question for the ages.

So, with such a ragtag grouping of Avengers, you'd probably struggle to pick them against Thor alone, let alone Thor with the moustache twirling Loki coaching from the sidelines. Vision and Scarlet Witch represent the greatest attack, Vision providing a physical obstacle for the super-powerful Thor, while Scarlet Witch might capitalize on the distraction to do away with the thunder god through her own mystic means.

Although, due to the magical nature of Thor, and the enchantments of Loki, Scarlet Witch might be too timid to fully realise her powers here.
Captain America will no doubt give his all in battle and as a team leader, but within the statistical confines of the tape, he and his human-level fellows are out in the cold. I guess that explains why they were quick to recruit professional asshole and generally smug prick, Tony Stark -- aka Iron Man.

The Math: Avengers (Overall) Thor/Loki (Average)
The Pick: Thor/Loki (Hard to go against them...)

What went down...
Having freed Thor from his amber prison, the Avengers are riding pretty high on their first victory, but the furies soon shift as Loki, having followed the Avengers' activities for some time, reveals himself to his confused half-brother.

Loki quickly seizes the opportunity, spinning a yarn about the fictional treachery of the Avengers who reduced Asgard to rubble. Though Captain America objects to the unjust act of lying, the enraged Thor is unreceptive, content instead to gather his strength for an old time ass whooping.

Cap's shield proves mighty enough to withstand Thor's pounding fists, but Swordsman and Hawkeye prove decidedly less resilient toward Loki's mystic blasts that send them hurtling across the battlefield.

Hellcat comes to the aid of the Captain, landing on Thor's shoulders, but the warrior god of thunder swiftly tosses her away and into the dawdling Scarlet Witch. Hellcat's new appearance serves only to further cast the group as villains, the Nordic Thor presuming her to be a demon.

Vision, manipulating himself to super density, steps up to the plate to strike the chiseled jaw of the thunder god. Taken aback by Vision's assault, it's the scheming Loki that comes to the aid of his brother, frying Vision's circuitry with mystic bolts of pink lightning. A ploy to further his own wile goals.

Assured by Loki's aid, Thor turns his attentions to the star-spangled Captain America once more. The Captain continues to emplore Thor with their innocence, but it is the inevitable treachery of Loki that finally lifts the veil of deceit from Thor's eyes.

As Loki attempts to attack Thor while his guard is down, Captain America swiftly intervenes, shielding Thor from Loki's spectacular attack.

Knocked down by the attack, Thor is reunited with his mystic hammer, Mjolnir, and thusly his memories come flooding back. With Loki having shown his true colours, Thor quickly realigns himself with the Avengers, who he now recognises as just and true warriors.

Thor menaces his half-brother, well ready to commence once again with a kicking of the ass, but Loki finds himself a bittersweet rescue from his brother's wrath.

The Scarlet Witch summons her fantastic mutant-enhanced mystic powers to absorb Loki's spell to transport Thor to limbo, and turns it back on the god of mischief. Loki's brief reign of terror comes to an abrupt end as he is sucked into his own vortex, doomed to occupy the non-space of limbo.

With the battle finished, Thor struggles to remember his past, but can only recall an onslaught that required great sacrifice. With his mind foggy, and the power of a god, Captain America takes it upon himself to invite Thor into the team as it's newest member, to which the Norse god gladly accepts.

The hammer...
Thor pulls a siwtcheroo to aid The Avengers to victory against this week's Ultimate Alliance feature villain: Loki!
Just in case you forgot what we were doing here, Mondays are of course dedicated to the villains of the popular multi-platform video game, and after several months of Mondays we're finally approaching the business end of that particular thematic device! Yay!

Heroes Reborn is a period in comics generally looked back upon with a flavour of negativity. Reactions range everywhere from bitter contempt, to violent indifference. Granted, this is probably one of the many examples of perpetuated opinions spreading amongst a community of both the informed and the uninitiated, it's fair to say that it isn't all bad press for the sake of it.

Still, it's interesting to take a look at some of the parallels between the work of Heroes Reborn and some of the conceits of later, better regarded works.
The Ultimates is something that always comes to mind when I think back to this very introductory issue of the Heroes Reborn Avengers.

The discovery of Thor is regarded with some scepticism from the beginning, despite the unlikely feat of a man surviving being imprisoned in a chunk of clear amber. In this respect, it perhaps ironically recasts Thor in the position of man-out-of-time to be unfrozen by the Avengers, while Captain America is the chief sceptic regarding the man's true origins.

The Captain continues to question the validity of Thor's claims, ultimately deciding to humor his delusions while inviting him to join the team. A situation that seems to quite strongly echo the future work of Mark Millar in The Ultimates, not that I would suggest any kind of shenanigans.

Actually, I think there's an obscure sense of satisfaction to be taken from the parallels between these books and the Ultimate line of comics, which enjoy a steady regard, despite becoming more and more like their predecessors.

It feels like there's been a lot of talk about first issues recently on Secret Earths, and despite it's failings, this actually represents a pretty decent first issue, I think. The specifics of the writing style and artwork aside, we get a super-sized issue that divides neatly between introduction to the lead characters (through the eyes of the lurking ghostly villain, Loki, who trapses through their SHIELD headquarters), and a second-half of action. Granted, the action leads to a fairly still conclusion, but I think I'd take a closed ended first issue over the Omega Flight styled meandering of several issues of contemplative nothing.

Obviously criticisms can be drawn regarding a writing style that went out at the turn of the century, along with the likewise bombastic design sensibility of Rob Liefeld, who crams classic designs with naff, blandly indifferent characters that are bitterly reminiscent of many early Image superhero characters.

This issue doesn't escape the wrath of retroactive clutter, either.
Though apparently a concept readily explained by Kurt Busiek, the shift between this barbaric Thor, and something more familiar to classic readers, toward the end of the series feels less like a story, and more like an early effort to start sweeping the mistakes of the present-past aside.

Much of this incarnation of the Avengers goes unrecognised today.
Swordsman and Hellcat's involvement in the team is largely forgotten, in no small part due to further tampering. The already mentioned Swordsman-Deadpool fiasco needs little more elaboration, other than to direct the interested to the mini-series, Heroes Reborn: The Remnants.

I'm not about to bitterly despise this book, or this particular era of comics, because I actually enjoyed a lot of it. I give it a great deal of credit for being the Ultimate comics before the Ultimate comics, with a more forthcoming connection to the classic materials, that is a silent trend gripping Ultimate books today, stripping them of their identity (and instant sales value).

For those who missed out, I can only hope that while I have readily acknowledged some of the faults, you can also recognise that this is a very fun, action-packed issue of Avengers vintage. Vintage that just didn't mature terribly well...

Before we fade away, we should note that as the only two characters unable to mount an offensive (beyond participating in group poses), Hawkeye and Swordsman receive but an assist stat for this particular performance.
AND -- due to the streamlining rule that alternate universe counterparts be lumped in with their originals, the Swordsman stat goes to Deadpool. If you've hitched here through the Deadpool tag, hopefully a word search has cleared up why.

EDIT (October 4, 2007): Swordsman has been relisted as his own character, as per the Superboy-Prime Directive. These stats have been removed from Deadpool's listing.

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4.5
[Not at all a revolutionary moment in comics history, but obscurely important and perhaps even influential on the future landscape of these characters, and the way in which they might be handled. Action, pose-heavy read.]

HELLCAT versus BLACK CAT
Catfight (Marvel comics)
Where: Spider-man Family #1 When: April 2007
Why: Fred Van Lente How: Federica Manfredi

The story so far...
Watch out, Rama-Tut! There are a couple of new cats in Chi-town, and they're about to come head-to-head in an afterhours catfight at the museum!

Black Cat is looking to drum up some business for her new security service, by personally testing the vulnerabilities of the museum's protection. Little does she know, Chicago is home to the heroic Hellcat!

It looks like Hellcat is going to have to defend her territory, but is this rookie hero's kung-fu a match for the cagey guile or the crafty Black Cat? Or will passing this Black Cat's path prove to be a turn of luck for the worst? Stay tuned!

Previous Form:
Black Cat (#25): Aided in the defeat of the Sinister Twelve, Carnage, & Venom.
Hellcat: Has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Hellcat 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Black Cat 3 (Straight A)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Hellcat 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Draw 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Hellcat 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Draw 2 (Projectiles)


Okay, set your watches people. I have until the end of this entry to come up with something thought provoking enough to fulfill my blogdream of getting a link of When Fangirls Attack. Why? Because it's an all-girl slugfest, of course!!!

As you'll have already gathered from the intro, this particular story takes place sometime early in the careers of the respective femme fatales. As always, the tape reads to represent a fairly broad representation of the characters, rather than reflecting the time placement, or status of the characters in this given story.

Two key abilities aren't particularly reflected in the tape:
- Hellcat's telekinetic abilities, attained during her time trapped in hell. As it were, I'm not quite sure Secret Earths is ready to recognise these powers obtained in the late 90's mini.

- Black Cat's bad luck powers. A standard I'm more inclined to accept, being a reader cultivated mostly through things like eighties Spider-man comics. Although, unless I'm mistaken, she hasn't had the ability to effect luck since Dr. Strange magically lifted her hex from Spider-man.

If we were to remove both powers from the equation, the fight is essentially boiled down to two skilled combatants with independently cultivated fighting skills. Each represents the height of human physical conditioning, although her ties to the super-natural tend to point the tape in favour of Hellcat.

Likewise, while Black Cat is no schlub in the field of ass-kickery, she generally exhibits less refined and martial fighting skills than the combative Hellcat.
To compensate, Black Cat needs to call upon her instictive cunning and guile, taking full advantage of her moral amiguity to play a little dirty.

I'm not sure if it would be enough to compensate for Hellcat's skill, but I at least like to think Black Cat is the more confident of the two. Hellcat has seen a lot of action, but Black Cat is the more naturally evolved character, and more confident from inception. That said...

The Math: Hellcat (Champion Class)
The Pick: Hellcat

What went down...
Having done away with the solitary guard, and worked her way into the laser secured Egyptian exibit; Black Cat closes in on a rare artifact, blissfully unaware that another, yellow suited cat has been watching her every move.

From a perch behind an Egyptian bust, the Hellcat leaps down at her unsuspecting prey!

The Black Cat manages to get a defensive leg up, contorting her and her attacker as they tumble to the ground.

They part, Black Cat extending a leg in a crouching mule kick, but Hellcat is quick to parry.

Snatching the Black Cat's ankle, she uses the wreckless move to turn Black Cat's momentum around, tossing her into one of the exibit walls.

Knocked silly by the impact, the Black Cat doesn't even find her way back into the fray. Hellcat utilizes hidden cables in her suit's gloves. Shooting her tethered claws, Hellcat wraps the would-be burglar up with ease, dropping her to the ground in an uncoscious heap.

Inspecting the Cat's bag, the Hellcat discovers not stolen goods, but rather tape and mirrors -- equipment for entry into the museum. Turning back to the artifact in the center of the laser-filled room, she notices at the foot of the statue a card that reads -- "Your security stinks. Want to improve it? Call me @ 555-BCAT"

As the recovered security guard comes to and sounds the alarm, the Black Cat's uniquely noble intentions dawn on Hellcat.

With a team of armed guards on their way, Hellcat uses the talons in her gloves to cut-free the Black Cat, and helps her escape without a second spare!

On the roof of the museum, Hellcat warns Black Cat off peddling her scam in Chicago as long as it's her turff. Black Cat playfully considers giving New York a shot, before comparing her own status as a novice to Patsy Walker's.
Black Cat tosses Hellcat's wallet to her, and takes off into the city skyline.

The hammer...
Though a peaceful resoluton was met, this one undoubtedly goes to Hellcat! X-52, why don't you tell her what she's won?... X-52?...

So, anyway... Through the wonders of international timezones I'm going to call this a Friday 13th entry, even though it's now the fourteenth here in the future. It was for this reason I took the opportunity to grab at this fight (Black Cat, get it?) that was something I've wanted to do since the last feature taken from the superb first issue of the multi-story collecting, Spider-man Family.

Not only is it a chance to take a look at a couple of interesting, more street levelled characters, but it's also one of those rare opportunities to do an all-girl fight! I'm sure they're out there, but without any kind of agenda requiring it, I tend not to seek them out. The last one was Skrull-Elektra/Ronin, I think.

Speaking of which, it was there we discussed the strength of female characters, and the often all-too derivative nature of their characters. [New Avengers #27]
So, we're not going to get the girls to talk about us by revisiting that. Likewise, the discussion of realistic violence in female-centric comics [Superman/Batman #15] is already covered, so what's left? Obviously, boobs.

Most commentary-based blogsites have a predisposed fixation with the female breast. You honestly have to wonder if some blogs would survive without the bouyancy of characters like Powergirl, who provides regular new material in cover shots, and a wealthy backlog of ironic panels, and kitschy humorous situations.

Without sounding smug, here at Secret Earths the female breast has lots it's fascination. Long ago we resigned to the fact that, like human male superheroes, the physiques in question may challenge the rules imposed by reality.
Nay, they may even laugh in the face of the Greek and Roman models of the ultimate man or woman, but they do so whilst also pushing most other facets of reality beyond the believable fold.

Not to say there aren't actually men and women out there who do resemble some comic characters. It may well mortify readers to know in my lifetime I have often found myself in physical activities where the most Liefeldian of positions were required. Yes, while my chest may not be inclined to open like a refridgerator door to gaze upon the reader at-right; twisted backs and taut calves are a staple of many-a sporting activity!

So, what am I really saying?
Well, I guess my point is, you can have your one-panel witicisms and distanced observations of the human form. Those things have their place, but maybe somewhere in the back of your mind it might pay to wonder -- is it really that shocking? Are these things not facilitated in many-a clothing store?

And besides, what are a few tentacles between heroes for hire?
Heyooooohhhhh! Went there!

The Fight: 3 The Issue: 7