Saturday, March 28, 2020

SASQUATCH versus CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE
And They Shall Call Him... Champion! (Marvel)
Where:
Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 When: October 1982 Why: Tom DeFalco How: Ron Wilson

The Story So Far...
The Fantastic Four's Thing has  earned a reputation as one of the universe's greatest fighters, having battled some of the most powerful beings in this universe - and beyond! Enter: Proja - Promoter Supreme!

Charged with signing worthy opponents to face The Champion of the Universe; Proja sees big box office potential in a match between Thing and his client! Madison Square Garden is the only arena in the world that could stage this once in a lifetime title bout, but you can't have a main event without an undercard!


Thor was disqualified when he brought his enchanted hammer into the ring, and Hulk was deemed too much of a brute to be allowed to compete. Now it's up to Alpha Flight heavyweight Sasquatch to bring brains and brawn to blows against the fresh fists of The Champion!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Champion 7 (Omnipotent)
Intelligence: Sasquatch 6 (Genius)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Champion 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Draw 2 (Average)
Fighting: Champion 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Draw 1 (None)
Total: Champion of the Universe 29 (Metahuman)

Champion of the Universe came into this with a lot of fanfare and bluster, but at this point you'd be within your rights to wonder if it's all just hype. Let's take a closer look at the tournament so far to see exactly what's happened!

Two heavyhitters were taken out before the action even started: Doc Samson was knocked out cold by his training robot, and Sub-Mariner refused to fight on grounds of not lowering himself to "such folly".

When Thor finally stepped into the ring to begin proceedings, he was swiftly disqualified for bringing a hammer to a boxing match. It was a no contest with Hulk as well when he was deemed too much of a brute to compete!

So far it seems like all The Champion has done is talk trash, and duck & dodge his most powerful challengers with technicalities. So what's he gonna do next? Disqualify his opponent on grounds of fur constituting illegal body covering?!

We know from future reference that Tryco Slatterus actually is the real deal. All you've gotta do is check out the way he dominated She-Hulk in their first match to see that! Don't count his next opponent out, though. This time it's different!


Sasquatch answers the question of what would happen if the Hulk retained the brilliant mind of a scientist. He's a professor of physics whose experiments with gamma radiation gave him super-human strength with total control.

So far Sasquatch has an 0-1 record on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, but that loss only came after he stood his ground against all four members of the mystically powered Wrecking Crew in Omega Flight #1!

Dr. Walter Langkowski is pretty impressive, and although he's regarded as a strongman and brawler, his background as a professional football player means he should understand the competitive conditions Champion demands. Can he put it together with the fate of the Earth on the line? Let's find out!

The Tape: Champion of the Universe Ranking: Champion of the Universe (#337)

What Went Down...
Sasquatch materializes in the ring an instant after Hulk has disappeared for disqualification. The Champion is beginning to lose faith in Earth's challengers, but his spirits rise when Sasquatch side-steps the first punch!


Sensing a need to keep The Champion off balance, Sasquatch slips around him with a go-behind into a high waist lock.


The wrestling-style tactic falls flat with The Champ, who'd expect the referee to break it up -- if he didn't solve his own problem with a shrug of the shoulder, and thrust of his forearm in Sasquatch's general direction!

Champion follows it up with a wild left that hits deep and launches Sasquatch backwards into the ropes. He callously urges Sasquatch to fight back. He does!


Having played possum to try to expose hidden motives for The Champion of the Universe's game, Sasquatch decides to stop holding back. He bounces off the ropes and leaps with momentum towards a finishing blow -- or so he thinks!


The wild trajectory of Sasquatch's jump takes him straight into the sweet spot of The Champion's devastating left hook! There's nothing he can do to stop the impact as Champ's glove smashes against his jaw!


The phenomenal power of the perfect strike leaves Sasquatch out on his feet -- keeling over for a ten count. The biggest challenger, the hardest to fall!

The Hammer...
A valiant effort from Sasquatch in the first real fight of the tournament, but Champion of the Universe is clearly still the undisputed champ! His pugilistic power was just too much for Sasquatch's catch-as-catch-can confusion.

Champion really needed a convincing win after two non-starters with Thor and Hulk. Boy did he get it! That last shot of Sasquatch doubling over, drool pouring from his mouth, is a pretty effective and haunting image.

Something about the bluntness of it really sells the utter devastation of The Champ's last blow. It's fairly unusual to see a character like Sasquatch look so physically pathetic. The heavy shadow enhances the drama, while Champion's idle posture conveys how utterly unconcerned he is with his defeated foe.

I presume there was some concern with the depiction of blood throughout the issue. I don't think its absence hurts any of the fights, though. That stream of saliva might be even more disturbing. Blood can happen from an incidental blow to the brow or lip, but to drool like that you need to be completely slack-jawed!

Top marks to artist Ron Wilson for creating such a distinct and dramatic image for the third bout. We've already seen him create a different style and character for each battle, with three more to go. That shouldn't be taken for granted!

Sasquatch might seem like a slightly unusual contender through today's prism, but in 1982 he was still a fresh and exciting addition to the Marvel Universe, having debuted early in the Claremont & Byrne run on X-Men, in 1979.

It was some clever booking to have Sasquatch step into the ring right after Hulk was eliminated for being too much of a brute. Sasquatch immediately addresses what might've happened had Hulk retained greater clarity and intellect. I would presume that might also be the reason Doc Samson was taken out before the fighting even began. They're both gamma irradiated powerhouses.

I don't quite buy the self-sacrificing stalling tactic to find out Champion's "real" motivation for threatening the Earth, but it at least gave Sasquatch fans an argument to save face for his ultimately brutal beating.

Sasquatch was also a competitor in the Contest of Champions just a month or two prior to Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7. Which happens to be one of the reasons we've finally come back to revisit the boxing tournament! He's currently appearing in our unofficial sequel! You can check out The Contest: Swamp Thing vs Sasquatch for all the details on how that works, and what went down!

When next we reconvene to Madison Square Garden we'll be seeing if the steely mutant mettle of Colossus can bring an end to the reign of Tryco Slatterus as Champion of the Universe! I hope you'll be here to join me when it happens!

At the time of this writing, the majority of sporting leagues have been put on indefinite hold while the world faces the deadly spread of COVID-19. I'll be doing my best to keep the fight alive with the usual superhero smackdown.

If you need a sporting distraction: you can find well over 600 featured fights on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths! They're indexed in the Secret Archive in order of publisher, series, and issue number. You can also discover more by following links throughout this post, or getting daily updates via Twitter and Facebook!

If you like what Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is all about, and want to help it succeed, you can contribute to the project via Patreon. Patrons receive inside access to the schedule and special request feature articles. Not to mention my eternal gratitude and continued survival!

Winner: Champion of the Universe
#109 (+228) Champion of the Universe
#920 (-231) Sasquatch

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

THE CONTEST: SWAMP THING versus SASQUATCH
It had to happen! The Grandmaster has watched the Secret Wars on Infinite Earths for many years and now he comes with a challenge: I must select 12 heroes & villains from the DC Universe to do battle against his Champions of the Marvel Universe! Grandmaster's team competed in the first Contest of Champions and set an allowance of 5000pts based on fixed Fight Club Rankings. Each battle will be decided by you in fantasy fight polls held on Twitter, Facebook and Patreon!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Sasquatch 6 (Genius)
Speed: Sasquatch 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Swamp Thing 6 (Generator)
Agility: Swamp Thing 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Swamp Thing 4 (Arsenal)
Total: Swamp Thing 33 (Super)

With the last fight the score with The Grandmaster was evened, but I've already spent over a fifth of my allowance just for that! I've got to start looking for some bargain recruits to conserve points for the big fights still ahead. Today's Contest is a challenge, but I think I've got a good contender!

The Grandmaster looked globally when he recruited for the original Contest of Champions, and he found a powerhouse with brains to match his brawn in the cold of Canada. Dr. Walter Langkowski is a brilliant biophysicist whose experiments with gamma radiation turned him into the Sasquatch!

Sasquatch very literally answered the question of what it would be like if the Hulk could retain the brilliant mind of Bruce Banner. He can transform at will, retaining his intellect when he becomes a super-strong, super-durable, shaggy beast. He's even fought toe-to-toe with the Hulk, and we saw him make a commendable stand against all four members of The Wrecking Crew in Omega Flight #1!


Sasquatch is clearly a brawler to be reckoned with, but I think Swamp Thing transcends brawling!

As an avatar for "The Green"; Swamp Thing is in touch with all things in nature. His body is literally comprised of vegetation, giving him the strength of the mightiest oak - and the regenerative powers of the most stubborn weeds. He can also call upon local flora to attack and ensnare his opponents, and that's what I'm counting on making life very difficult for Sasquatch.

Swamp Thing's been greatly under represented here on Secret Wars on Infinite Earths, which means he's a steal at just 52pts. His current low ranking of #902 is due to a single recorded battle ending in unlikely defeat to Scarecrow in Swamp Thing #19. There, Scarecrow managed to trigger the fear-inducing formula that could chemically effect Swamp Thing. An unlikely risk against Sasquatch!

I think Swamp Thing can go pound-for-pound with Sasquatch, but if he happened to come out second best in a trading of blows, I think he'll regrow any damaged parts, and call unleash surrounding plant-life to tangle Sasquatch up!

The Verdict...
I knew Swamp Thing had the potential to be a powerful favourite in this match-up, but would his vast mastery of "The Green" come into play in a brawl against the mythic man-beast Sasquatch?

@DCWorldSwampy didn't need convincing, seeing it fairly one-sided: "Swampy, hands down." The Sentry & The Void - Nazar echoed those sentiments: "Swamp Thing. Easily too." Their certainty about Swamp Thing's powers reflected an early lead, but there were still questions.

Talking Alpha Flight offered a different perspective, focusing on the otherworldly aspect of Sasquatch's transformation as a potential equalizer: "People are giving it to Swampy bc they think of Sasquatch as a Hulk knock off, only a strong man. Sasquatch is actually one of the Great Beasts! Langkowski controls the body but Sasquatch is as supernatural as Swamp Thing".

Sam King felt location would be the deciding factor, noting: "Home field advantage is everything in this one!" @DaveWGeary took that thought even further, 'Are they on Earth? We know Swamp Thing suffers when distant from the Green.' He also had concerns about incarnations of each character, "Is it Walter's mind or has he lost to the [beast] again? Otherwise question can't be answered."

For the sake of debate, The Contest isn't rooted in any particular location. Exact incarnations are up for debate too, although Secret Wars on Infinite Earths always favours a loose, iconic impression.

In the end, it was probably the iconic regenerative and environmental powers of Swamp Thing that saw him through to a comfortable 65.8% majority via Twitter. Technical issues on Facebook meant there was no alternative to challenge that figure.

That means the monster mash of Round 3 goes to Secret Wars on Infinite Earths!

We'll be back for Round 4 later this month! Keep your eyes on The Contest for the latest battles, and on Twitter, Facebook, and Patreon for regular updates. You can also tell me how you think today's fight should've gone by posting in the comments, or on social media. I'd love to hear from you!

Winner: Swamp Thing
The Grandmaster: - 1
Secret Wars on Infinite Earths: - 2

Monday, March 23, 2020

SABRETOOTH versus NEW MUTANTS
King of the Hill! (Marvel)
Where:
New Mutants #75 When: May 1989
Why: Louise Simonson How: John Byrne

The Story So Far...
When The Marauders attacked the X-Men on their home turf, the short-lived siege was seemingly thwarted -- but a hidden explosive device within the X-Mansion itself allowed Mister Sinister to make a final strike.

The combined ranks of X-Factor and the X-Men recovered from the blast to defeat Mister Sinister, but there was nothing they could do about the mansion's destruction.

When the New Mutants return home from battling the alien Gosamyr, they're shocked to discover the school in ruins. Unaware of the battle that transpired, they scour the wreckage for survivors. When Mirage senses someone clinging to life, they jump into action to rescue them from the rubble.

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Sunspot 5 (Super-Human)
Intelligence: Sabretooth 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Cannonball 5 (Super-Human)
Stamina: Sabretooth 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Warlock 6 (Malleable)
Fighting: Sabretooth 7 (Living Weapon)
Energy: Magik 5 (Lasers)
Total: Sabretooth 28 (Metahuman)

Sabretooth is no stranger to stalking young mutants, and today he's got the scent of a fresh batch of students from Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters!

The New Mutants are: Cannonball, Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Mirage, Warlock, and Illyana Rasputin. The team is green, but not so untested that they can't rely on their powers to handle themselves.



There's an obvious parallel between Wolfsbane's werewolf-like, lycanthropic transformation, and the animal savagery of Sabretooth. He was quite lean in these days, but probably still holds a size and weight advantage over her -- something Wolverine had to contend with over the years, as in Wolverine #50.

Sabretooth also has a wealth of experience as a mercenary, but that hasn't always informed his fighting style. He typically relied on brute strength and malice against the speed and finesse of Iron Fist, narrowly coming up short in both Iron Fist #14, and Power Man & Iron Fist #66.

None of the New Mutants has the martial arts skills, or speed & agility of Iron Fist, but that might not be such a problem. in Adventures of the X-Men #7, he returned to the X-Mansion to stalk Jubilee, but was ultimately thwarted when she gave Professor Xavier enough time to recover from being attacked.

Mirage could use her empathic image casting to mentally soothe the savage beast with visions of something calming. Failing that, there's always the kinetic impact of Cannonball, or solar enhanced strength of Sunspot!

DC's Superboy combined both flight and strength to put Sabretooth down hard during a crossover battle with the Teen Titans in Unlimited Access #3! He won't have the tricks Deadpool used to ground Cannonball in New Mutants #98, or solar absorption that helped Iron Man win in Contest of Champions II #1.

Can the New Mutants stare down the intimidating sadism of Sabretooth? He's got the element of surprise, but also the bruises of recent battle. How will it all play out? Let's take a look...

The Tape: New Mutants Ranking: Sunspot (#155)

What Went Down...

Standing in horror amidst the wreckage of Xavier's decimated School for Gifted Youngsters, the New Mutants are alone and shell shocked.

As they consider the possibilities of who could've been responsible for such destruction, and who may've been present: Mirage detects the rising death glow of someone clinging precariously to life. Sunspot powers-up to investigate...


Sabretooth springs from beneath the massive piece of rubble lifted by Sunspot. He thanks his rescuer with the sharp side of his claws, raking them across his solar-powered face!

Seeing his friend in peril, Cannonball launches into action -- flying across the battlefield on a beeline towards the attacker!



The mutant missile collides with Sabretooth with unforgiving speed!

The force of the blow snaps Sabretooth backward, sending him tumbling head over heels back into the rubble. Face down and already exhausted, the fight leaves him as the New Mutants attempt to find out who Sabretooth is.

He introduces himself, gloating over the fruits of the Marauder's labour. It was their siege on the X-Men and X-Factor that led Sinister to destroy the mansion!


The taunts trail off -- seemingly Sabretooth's final words when Warlock detects his vital signs ceasing. Mirage senses no such passing, intuiting his inevitable survival through her "Valkyrie Gift" to see death coming, while the group resumes contemplating their present situation.

The Hammer...
Cannonball claims a pretty major scalp early in his career, even if Sabretooth was already pretty banged up by the X-mansion explosion.

Could it have gone any other way? It's hard to say. Despite his well earned and fearsome reputation; Sabretooth has a knack for being a bit of a punching bag -- especially during this period in the late eighties.

Even before the mansion was brought down, he'd been defeated with a psychic strike from Psylocke, in one of their first encounters. We also saw Mister Sinister brush him off pretty swiftly barely two years prior, in Uncanny X-Men #221.

Sabretooth is currently the lowest ranked character in the Fight Club Rankings at #961. The string of unanswered defeats doesn't seem adequately reflective of his stature, but it's difficult to deny a higher than average rate of losing.

Bad guys generally trend toward more losses than wins, and Sabretooth is one of the worst! He also has the added pressure of a healing factor, which means he can take a kicking and come back ticking. That gives writers license to knock him around. In fictional terms, it can also make him over confident and a bit sloppy. Similar can be said of Wolverine, who currently has a 52.5% win rate.

Appropriately enough: Wolverine is the only opponent on record that Sabretooth has managed to fight without losing. Even then, the Wolverine #50 tied result ended with both characters mortally wounded. He's decapitated and written off for several years by the end of the multi-issue struggle. Not a high point.

He seemingly died at the end of this battle, but as Mirage notes for the reader, death isn't coming for him. A pretty clear message that fans can look forward to more trouble from Sabretooth.

He will return in the pages of New Mutants, and I seem to remember something about Mister Sinister experimenting with Sabretooth clones, but that's a messy concept I'd rather not think about right now.

We shall simply commit this one to the books. It's a pretty obscure fight, easily overlooked in favour of two others, most notably the cover featured main event between Magneto and Sebastian Shaw. You can bet we'll be revisiting the issue to look more closely at both of the other battles at some time in the future.

If you want to read ahead to see the whole shebang for yourself you can find this issue collected in Epic Collection New Mutants: Curse of the Valkyrie. Use the Amazon purchase link provided and you'll get yourself a good deal and make sure Amazon supports the site at no extra cost to you!

You can discover more battles by following links throughout this post, or by diving into the Secret Archive, where featured fights are indexed by publisher, series, and issue number.

If you like what Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is all about, and the many hundreds of articles available to read, you can make sure it continues by joining Patreon. Patrons gain extra access to schedule notes, bonus polls, and user selected articles.

You can also receive daily links to featured fights inspired by the topics of the day by following for free on Twitter and Facebook! Don't forget to like and share battles, and keep your eyes peeled for the Top 3 trending fights of the week!

Winner: Cannonball (w/ Sunspot)
#114 (+229) Cannonball
#153 (+2) Sunspot [+1 assist]
#961 (--) Sabretooth

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

FLASH, MAX MERCURY & JOHNNY QUICK versus REVERSE-FLASH
Suicide Run (DC)
Where:
Flash #77 When: June 1993
Why: Mark Waid How: Greg LaRocque

The Story So Far...
When the multiverse was in crisis, The Flash laid it all on the line to defend infinite Earths from The Anti-Monitor's plans for cosmic annihilation. The only evidence of his heroic sacrifice was an empty costume collected by his protégée Kid Flash.

Adopting the mantle in honor of the missing hero; Wally West never imagined he would see his mentor again - but the sudden return of Barry Allen challenges everything he thought he knew about his uncle!

Joy turns to anguish when The Flash lashes out at those who carried on his legacy in Central City. Having left Wally West for dead, the scarlet speedster sets out on a warpath to punish those who embraced the new Flash -- forcing veteran speedsters Jay Garrick, Johnny Quick, and Max Mercury to step in!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Professor Zoom 5 (Professor)
Speed: Professor Zoom 7 (Light Speed)
Stamina: Draw 6 (Generator)
Agility: Max Mercury 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Max Mercury 3 (Explosives)
Total: Max Mercury 30 (Super)

It's three speedsters against one, but don't think for a minute that means an advantage! The Flash, Max Mercury, and Johnny Quick are acting under the misapprehension that the opponent they're facing is their friend: Barry Allen!

In truth, the trio are pulling their punches against a chronologically confused super-villain of the highest order: Professor Zoom, better known as the yellow clad Reverse-Flash!

Eobard Thawne came from the 25th century to assume the mantle of the Silver Age Flash, who we know sacrificed his life to save the multiverse in Crisis on Infinite Earths #8. The makeover is so convincing, he successfully fooled Barry's best friend Hal Jordan in Green Lantern #40 -- and even himself!

The miraculous return of the fallen Flash may seem too good to be true, but the heroes aren't foolish for believing their lost friend could return. Their knowledge of his demise is uncertain, and as we now know, he will return in Final Crisis and Flash: Rebirth, revealing he'd actually spent years lost in the Speed Force.

Rebirth was where we saw Professor Zoom demonstrate the destructive power of his polarized Speed Force against the living Barry Allen, and Max Mercury, earning a vicious victory in Flash: Rebirth #4!

In today's battle Max is fighting beside the original Flash from the Golden Age: Jay Garrick! We've seen him grapple with the nightmares of Sand in JSA #64, and the horror of Morgauth in JSA Strange Adventures #1. He's a hero of true grit and great experience, but it's Max Mercury who has the distinction of being known as the "Zen Master of Speed" -- a mentor to Garrick and Johnny Quick!

In some ways Max Mercury is Professor Zoom's opposite, with origins dating back to the 1800s. His speed was supplied through Native American mysticism, and although he isn't as fast as Zoom or Jay Garrick, his study of speed, and disciplined approach allows him to be a powerful force for justice!

Professor Zoom has the benefit of hindsight, with the full exploits of Barry Allen and his knowledge made public knowledge in the 25th Century. He's suffering from traumatic amnesia and genuinely believes he's The Flash, but will that in any way diminish his ability to cause mayhem and destruction? Let's find out...

The Tape: Flash, Max Mercury & Johnny Quick Ranking: Reverse-Flash (#149)

What Went Down...

Construction scaffold begins to tremble violently as The Flash sends super-fast vibrations up its supports. It looks like certain death for the construction workers above -- until a blur of red & blue dashes upward to make the save!

Jay Garrick, Johnny Quick, and Max Mercury defy gravity - running so fast along the edge of the structure they can catch the tumbling men, and race back down to safety without falling. A heroic act before they confront the cause!



The original Flash leads the charge as they confront the scarlet speedster they believe to be their wayward comrade. Garrick makes it clear they won't let Barry Allen run the city ragged any longer. He doesn't take it to heart.


Johnny Quick is the first to make a run for battle -- darting at the disguised Reverse-Flash when he's singled out. He isn't quick enough, taking a vicious elbow to the back of the head as the target easily side-steps him!

Though rattled, Quick keeps up chase with his much faster opponent, providing a target for derisive mockery and distraction. Reverse-Flash notices the brick wall he's running toward, and arrogantly laughs it off, relying on the super-fast vibration of his molecules to easily pass through it...



The presumption allows Flash and Max Mercury to spring the real trap, catching their opponent unawares on the other side of the wall with a devastating right cross and double-fisted uppercut!

The blow sends Zoom hurtling across the construction site into a mound of gravel. He recovers and scoops fistfuls of the stones at super-speed, sending a hail of projectiles streaking across the battlefield and into Johnny Quick!



The gravel rips through Quick like buckshot, but his dramatic fall is dampened when the classic Flash zips ahead to make the save. Max Mercury volunteers to take up the fight while Jay tends to their injured ally.

The phony Flash lunges for Max, but quickly finds the old timer is much faster than Johnny Quick! Mercury slips under the villain's grip and leaps straight at him to deliver a stinging knee to the face!

Zoom resumes chase with confidence he can outpace Max Mercury now that the element of surprise is gone, but he still under estimates the Zen Master of Speed. Max makes a beeline for the towering steel structure where Zoom finds it difficult to maintain top speed along narrow girders. An even playing field!



Mercury proves a far more agile speedster, springing nimbly across the girders to deliver a flying kick, before restoring distance on the other side of a void.

The false Flash looks to mitigate range by snatching a rivet gun and opening fire, but the streaming projectiles are easily avoided by a leaping Mercury!



Max dives into the open air, catching a sagging cable that swings him up and over one of the higher girders -- and back down to once again tag Reverse-Flash with an acrobatic kick!

The blow sends the phony scarlet speedster plummeting to the ground below. He lands near startled construction workers, which inspires a fiendish idea. He races back up the framework, carrying a few innocent bystanders to be hurled from up on the rig! Max Mercury has no choice but to leap to save them!

He succeeds, but the act of heroism gives Zoom the distraction he needs to reclaim the advantage. He barges through the preoccupied hero like a freight train -- but fails to notice Jay Garrick atop the build with a girder in hand!


Reverse-Flash runs straight into the barrier, taking a full impact directly to the body! He drops to his knees for a moment, but quickly recovers to stomp the girder and send a compassionate Garrick launching into the air!

The Golden Ager spins his hands to create enough down thrust to slow his descent, but also allows the evil Flash to run to meet him on the ground!

The phony Flash meets him with brutal, super-fast ground and pound! He spews disdain for Barry Allen's replacement, and forgotten legacy in Central City, while the furious flurry of punches pummels the senior Flash deep into the dirt.



Searching for new headlines for the forgotten Flash; Zoom sets his sights on news helicopters closing in to film. He starts running in a continuous circle, kicking up sand from the construction site and sucking it skyward via vortex.

The false Flash then challenges his bloodied precursor to chase him, knowing full well the legendary hero will put rescuing reporters ahead of stopping his escape.

The elder Flash scrambles to reach them, desperately trying to outrun the threat of their seizing helicopter steering straight toward the construction site. The hero is engulfed in the ensuing explosion as he races the reporters to safety, with only his metal helmet emerging from the smoke.


The Hammer...
A rejuvenated Wally West arrives just in time to dramatically collect the helmet of the Golden Age Flash as it hits the ground smoldering. Professor Zoom wins the battle, but we'll find out in the next issue that everybody made it out okay!

Flash #77 is part of the larger arc that's since been collected as The Return of Barry Allen. The story's reputation has continued to grow in esteem, recently appearing as #1 on Newsarama's 10 Greatest Flash Stories of All Time. Marvel Editor Tom Brevoort also featured its concluding chapter on his blog, calling it the best single issue of The Flash's entire eighty year run. High praise!

I'm not sure I hold the story in quite the same high regard, but it is a highlight from the Wally West years, and there's certainly a lot to like.

On the surface, it's a cruel tale that challenges Wally's post-Crisis tenure as the main Flash. As it unfolds, it becomes a celebration of the legacy of Barry Allen, and a confirmation of Wally West as the scarlet speedster for the modern era.

While the trio of classic heroes challenges the returning Reverse-Flash; Wally is out doing some soul searching after seemingly being betrayed by his beloved uncle, and mentor. The revelation of Eobard Thawne's post-Crisis return to canon is itself a pleasure, as is Wally's redoubling of self-belief and honor.

The arc is effectively a distillation of modern Flash, replete with a shining example of the multi-generational status quo I'd like to take for granted.

I have a real fondness for Golden Age characters, and love seeing Jay Garrick as a supporting player and statesman in the world of The Flash. I don't necessarily need to see the helmeted hero in every issue, but his availability to stories like this really enriches the world of The Flash, and the DC Universe in general. Max Mercury was a nice addition for world building, too.

Now that the Justice Society are being reinstated in the modern DCU, and there's talk of their big screen potential, I'd like to think we can all agree it was a terrible mistake to erase them from DC history in the first place.

The New 52 was generally an unnecessary attack on DC Comics' own brand and strengths, overreaching in its marketing goals, and flawed in concept & construction. Of course, by actually bringing Barry Allen back in 2009 - DC really created its problem before rebooting. If Barry is back, where does Wally fit?

Departing DC Publisher Dan Didio had a well documented belief that the third-generation heroes aged their iconic seniors beyond function. He isn't really wrong. As long as third-generation heroes like Wally West reach adulthood, they require a choice to commit to moving the universe forward -- or halting it.

With stories like the one featured today, DC created an exceptionally compelling case for moving forward. Wally West was very easy to accept as the Flash: one of the greatest legacy heroes on record. They even did a serviceable job with a new Green Lantern, and Green Arrow. That was when they made comic books, though. Now they make movies - and nobody wants to skip the true icons.

Going from black & white reprints of Barry Allen stories to early post-Crisis Wally West adventures was never very difficult. As a young reader, I found Wally very easy to accept. But I also don't think DC should be burning its icons for the sake of advancing to a new generation. Even if that would be interesting.

I like the balance of three active generations co-existing. Grandfather, father, and son, for want of a better analogy. Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, and Wally West. I think perceiving them relative to one another, without placing them in time, is the best way to tell comic book stories. It's the same suspension of disbelief that allows us all to continue enjoying Bruce Wayne stories after eight years.

Sliding timescales and other complex rationalizations aren't really all that helpful. Stories just need to live in the present and adapt their backstory to fit, where necessary. That's what Mark Waid and company did in 1993, and that's probably a big part of why it's held up as such a modern classic.

If you want to get the full story, there are two collected editions you can investigate: Flash: The Return of Barry Allen and The Flash by Mark Waid Volume 2. By shopping using the Amazon links provided, you'll get yourself a good deal delivered to your door -- and support the site at no extra cost! That's a Flash Fact!

You can also discover more of the DCU and beyond by following links throughout this post, or by diving into the Secret Archive. That's where you'll find every featured fight indexed by publisher, series, and issue number!

Subscribe to Secret Wars on Infinite Earths via Twitter and Facebook to get daily links to superhero smackdown inspired by the topics of the day. Don't forget to like and share the best battles! If you enjoy what we're about, and the archive of thousands of articles, you can connect with Patreon. Patrons can influence upcoming features and get involved with the schedule, voting, and more.

Winner: The Flash (Professor Zoom)
#87 (+62) Professor Zoom (Eobard Thawne)
#391 (-49) Flash (Jay Garrick)
#907 (new) Johnny Quick
#921 (-54) Max Mercury

Monday, March 09, 2020

DRAGON versus SPAWN
Messiah (Image)
Where:
Spawn #52 When: August 1996
Why: Todd McFarlane How: Greg Capullo

The Story So Far...
With a simple choice, Al Simmons was returned to the fires of Hell when he spent the last of his powers curing former friend, Terry Fitzgerald, of malignant cancer. The decision rescued his wife from the heartbreak of losing her new husband, but damned Spawn's soul to torment in the fourth level of Hell.

Enduring torturous reflection, and the extraction of his heart, Spawn is soon whisked to the fifth level, where he's greeted with the torment of praise. The coming of such a savior was foretold in scripture, but the fifth level denizens, tinted green with envy, are divided by their faith.

A prophet walks among them, predicting a forty thousand year wait for the one true savior. He is Officer Dragon: sent to Hell by the malicious Fiend. His vision is no more true than the religion it is based on, but he must never the less prove himself by the law of an eye for an eye -- even if it costs Spawn!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Dragon 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Spawn 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Dragon 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Spawn 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting: Spawn 4 (Trained)
Energy: Spawn 5 (Lasers)
Total: Spawn 29 (Metahuman)

As two of the founding heroes who established Image Comics, their meeting was inevitable -- but who will reign supreme in this clash of comic book icons?!

Spawn was black-ops assassin Al Simmons when he was murdered by his own partner while on mission. Tainted by a life of killing; Al's soul was damned to an eternity in Hell, where he chose to make a deal with the devil Malebolgia.

In exchange for joining the army of Hellspawn, Simmons was granted a return to the realm of living, so he could see his beloved wife, Wanda, one last time.

Al returned with a face like burnt cheese pizza, but damnation does have its perks! Spawn is fully furnished with a variety of hellacious abilites, including: a living costume & cape, super-human strength, speed, durability, teleportation, necroplasm energy blasts, shape-shifting, spiked armor, and much more!

He's gonna need all of those skills, plus his extensive training in hand-to-hand combat and military tactics, if he's gonna keep down Officer Dragon!

Dragon predominantly relies on super-human strength and durability to defeat his opponents. He's a proficient brawler who's damn near unkillable. We saw that when Overlord left him impaled on a building spire in Savage Dragon #7!

Spawn is pretty unkillable himself, and with this fight taking place in Hell after he resubmitted himself, he's no longer beholden to a countdown every time he uses his necroplasm power. That means Dragon is getting the whole hog, and that could well tip the balance in favour of Spawn. Let's find out if it does!..

The Tape: Spawn Ranking: Dragon (#385)

What Went Down...
Spawn stands on the battlefield while offerings of sacrificial tribute are thrown in the path of his coming opponent. The huddled masses become a makeshift arena, surrounding the exalted New God and Prophet on the infernal plane.


Spawn observes his challenger closely but cannot place him. They are strangers -- warriors pitted against one another by little more than circumstance. Were they to meet anywhere else they might be allies. Hell has made them enemies.

Dragon bares his teeth and launches into just one more fight for survival!


The opening blow is Dragon's! His charging fist collides with Spawn's exposed face -- sending him reeling with a thin spray of green ectoplasm from the mouth. First blood, by any other name.


Dragon presses his advantage, bringing his powerful fists smashing down upon Spawn like two brutal sledge hammers! He drives his knee into the hellspawn's mid-section, then rains down with more ground pounding punches!

Caught between the rocky floor of Hell and Dragon -- Spawn lashes out!


He snaps with a back-handed fist that viciously slams his spiked gauntlet against Dragon's chin. The explosive strike launches him across the field!

Spawn burns with necroplasmic energy and grim determination. Like a living freight train he charges at his opponent -- callously smashing through the crowd on his unrelenting path to destroy the Dragon!


Spawn's fists smolder with raw power as he looms over his naked and battered opponent. Dragon is hunched on the ground, struggling to hold himself out of a smoking impact crater as blood pours from his face.

Through a blood stained grin, Dragon lets out a tiny laugh. It's drowned out by the stampeding mob incensed by his defeat. Battle has proven him a false prophet. Spawn is their victor. Spawn is their savior.

The Hammer...
The angry mob seizes upon their defeated prophet, further pummeling him for daring to incite hope. He's tied to a stick and carried away. Despite the brutal beating, still giggling as he's taken to be ceremonially befouled, fed, and doused in urine. Light preparations for crucifixion and a stoning death.

Spawn attempts to use his newfound status as savior to help Dragon, but soon finds himself sharing the same fate. No savior would ever preach mercy!

The two heroes are rescued from their crosses at the very last moment when Malebolgia teleports them away. His torment of Spawn will continue elsewhere in Hell, while the denizens of the fifth layer continue to suffer their eternally unfulfilled faith. Only the devil knows their religion is based on a lie.



The Spawn/Dragon team-up carries into Savage Dragon #30, where Dragon persists in defiantly insisting his predicament is little more than a bad trip. This treats fans to Erik Larsen's good natured ribbing of the grim melodrama found in Spawn, while also bringing back classic SD villains The Fiend, and Overlord.

Speaking of Erik Larsen: How about that image of Dragon slugging Spawn?

The long bulky muscles, and Kirby-inspired composition that extends toward the reader, looks an awful lot like an Erik Larsen panel! It's a nice touch from artist Greg Capullo, who is otherwise vivid in his own renderings of this world.

Capullo is a great Spawn artist. He seems to smooth out some of the stylistic quirks of McFarlane's art, using more conventional layouts to tell a consistent story. Blocks of prose still litter pages, but the flow of panels feels a bit easier to digest than some of McFarlane's singularly designed pages.

I don't know if Larsen had any hand in this particular issue's finished art. He's been known to ink and contribute to a number of books. Todd McFarlane shares inking credits with Danny Miki on this one. I'd imagine seeing a character in another artist's style is as much the fun for the creators as it is the reader, so it might just be a character-driven homage. I dig it.

I'm pleased to finally be paying homage to Spawn #52. It's been on the docket many times over the years, but never quite seemed to get through. That's left Spawn to be one of the glaring omissions in our rankings. It just seemed wrong for one of the biggest (and most violent) independent comics icons to sit it out!

Image Comics weren't quite the lightning rod of excitement they'd been for other readers in the early nineties, but a fascination with Todd McFarlane's operatic designs, and the grim existential crisis of Spawn, was undeniable.

The taboo of demons and Hell didn't seem all that dangerous in the nineties, particularly outside of America, but it probably made the series a little tougher to find. This wasn't a comic I could always pick up on a whim from the newsagent's rack. This particular issue arrived at my door through a mail giveaway offered with the purchase of VHS copies of the HBO animated series.

The cartoon had its upside, but the preoccupation with sex and violence always played more like a distracting gimmick. It was a mature rated show, but there was often more sophisticated storytelling during after school hours on Batman.

The comics allow for much more indulgence and bombastic thrills, but one thing they can never match is the velvet lined pocket full of stones that is the voice of Keith David. What an actor. What a voice!

He recently returned to the role of Al Simmons for Spawn's inclusion in Mortal Kombat 11. That was as good a reason as any to finally take a closer look at the comics. At some point we'll return again to talk more Spawn battles.

If you'd like to get your own hands on today's featured issue, you can find it collected in Spawn Origins Volume 9. Use the Amazon link provided to get your self a good deal and support the site at no extra cost to you!

If you like what Secret Wars on Infinite Earths is all about and want to see more of your favourite characters you can support and interact with the project via Patreon. Patrons have access to schedule updates, bonus voting polls, options for special articles, and featured fight selections.

You can find hundreds of more featured fights for free by diving into the Secret Index for a complete archive organized by publisher, series, and issue number. You can discover even more by following links throughout this post, or by subscribing on Twitter and Facebook to get daily links to battles inspired by the topics of the day!

Winner: Spawn
#334 (new) Spawn (Al Simmons)
#394 (-9) Dragon

Monday, March 02, 2020

DR VOLT versus WOOZY & PLASTIC MAN
The Evil Dr. Volt (Quality)
Where:
Plastic Man #7 When: Spring 1947
Why: Jack Cole How: John Spranger

The Story So Far...
Midnight in the city brings a deluge of rain and a chance for crime. The Little Moron Mob are out to make a big score -- and their target is an after hours withdrawal from the city bank!

An anonymous tip puts Plastic Man and Woozy Winks right at the scene. At the first sign of trouble they spring into action, striking like lightning to apprehend the bank robbing mob. They aren't the only men with eyes on the thieves, though!

Watching from across the street is the sinister scientist Doctor Volt! With his own designs for robbing the bank, he expedites the process by directing literal lightning at one of the Little Morons! While Plastic Man takes the rest of the mob to jail, Woozy Winks watches the corpse - forcing Volt to strike once again!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Plastic Man 5 (Super-Human)
Intelligence: Doctor Volt 3 (Straight A)
Speed: Plastic Man 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Plastic Man 6 (Generator)
Agility: Plastic Man 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting: Plastic Man 3 (Street Wise)
Energy: Doctor Volt 5 (Lasers)
Total: Plastic Man 27 (Metahuman)

Doctor Volt is an aptly named mad scientist with specialized expertise in the field of lightning. His laboratory is home to a "super lightning generator" said to be capable of conjuring a 50 million volt strike. Given the average lightning bolt can carry up to 1 billion volts charge -- that might be a conservative estimate!

What makes Doctor Volt truly dangerous is his portable generator, which can direct an artificial lightning strike just by pointing the handheld box! A device already used to kill one of the Little Moron Mob right where he stood!

This one ultimately boils down to a simple question: Can you electrocute a man whose body behaves just like rubber?

Plastic Man was safe-cracker Patrick "Eel" O'Brien until he was shot by a night watchman during a break-in at Crawford Chemical Works. Left for dead by his gang of burglars, he soon discovered exposure to unknown chemicals had given his body the impossible power to bend and reshape itself like rubber!

We briefly saw Plastic Man stretching to save the citizens of New York City when the Sinestro Corps attacked in Green Lantern #25. It offered a small glimpse of his ability to extend body and limbs, but that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Plastic Man can assume the shape of almost anything you can imagine! He can also absorb incredible amounts of impacting force, and bounce back totally unscathed! He's essentially a living cartoon -- and dedicated to upholding the law with his hapless pal and sidekick, Woozy Winks.

Plastic Man has been likened to one of the most powerful men on Earth, largely due to his incredible durability. That said, at extremes he can be temporarily concussed, or even chemically interfered with using energy fields, heat, or liquid compounds. He always pulls himself back together, but he can be defeated.

Science challenges the life-saving virtues of rubber soled boots, but Plastic Man has more rubber than the average pair of galoshes. In reality, the insulating properties of rubber may still be effected by the 50,000F degree heat generated by a direct lightning strike -- but this is comics! He can probably take it!

Woozy Winks, on the other hand, is totally human and in real danger. Dr. Volt makes no bones about using his machine to kill, so Plastic Man will have the distraction of keeping his dopey buddy safe. Balancing this out is Volt's own goal to rob the bank, and his portable generator's limitation of three lightning strikes.

The wet night will play to Doctor Volt's advantage. Let's see how it went...

The Tape: Plastic Man Ranking: Plastic Man (#279)

What Went Down...

A sudden lightning strike leaves one of the Little Moron Mob lying smoldering in the gutter. It's up to Woozy Winks to keep watch over the fresh corpse while Plastic Man deposits the rest of the gang in a nearby jail cell!

Unbeknownst to our intrepid heroes, the misfortunate mobster was struck down by another ne'er-do-well who watches from across the street.



The dastardly Dr. Volt is waiting for his opportunity to rob the same bank, but with Woozy on the lookout, he couldn't possibly get away with it. His deadly lightning device has only two charges remaining, and he'll need them to break the external door and vault. Necessity inspires invention in the doctor!


Volt sprints through the rain to meet Woozy with what appears to be a camera under his arm. He arrives singing the praises of Plastic Man's loyal side kick, claiming to represent the world press. He requests a photo of the hero who took down the Little Moron Mob, lining him up perfectly with the bank door!


Woozy lifts his soggy hat and strikes a pose, perfectly positioned to be flash fried in the path of a strike headed for the front door. Dr. Volt aims his disguised machine and fires off his second lightning bolt with a shrieking blast!


Unseen beneath the blinding flash: Plastic Man formed a protective shield in front of Woozy at the very last moment! His rubbery body absorbs the lightning strike with minimal damage -- a poor conductor for its electrical charge!

Caught red-handed, Dr. Volt makes a mad dash for freedom. He can't possibly outrun the long arm of the law when it's the extended limb of Plastic Man!


Plastic Man appeals to Dr. Volt's intelligence, reasoning that his machine is useless against his insulated rubber body, so he doesn't stand a chance.

The doctor agrees, finding another use for the device as it's final charge brings a destructive blast against the overhanging edge of a nearby roof!



The wily gambit pays off -- sending tons of rooftop rubble raining down upon the outstretched body of Plastic Man! There's little the hero can do as he's rapidly buried beneath boulders of masonry and stone!


Woozy Winks fears the worst as he paws at the demolished mound, believing his best friend Plastic Man to be nothing more than a grease stain on the pavement. Fortunately, it's not so easy to keep a Plastic Man down! He soon stretches his way free from the rubble -- ready to resume the chase for justice!

The Hammer...
It was Plastic Man's dogged determination that ultimately got the better of him! If he'd been a little more cautious, he might not have been so easily pinned beneath the cascading carnage. Not that it kept him down for long!

When I was preparing for the latest installment of The Contest [Plastic Man vs Bltizkrieg], I couldn't actually remember a specific instance where Plastic Man was shown to be immune to electricity. It seemed like a no brainer: his body's like rubber -- rubber is non-conductive. He must've shrugged off hundreds of electric shocks over the decades. Right?..

I figured I'd do some quick research to support my presumption, but lo and behold -- it was remarkably difficult to find verifying sources!

Apparently the obvious pairing of a rubberized hero and evil electricity just wasn't as common as I'd expected. Resistance to electricity doesn't even warrant a mention on the various Wikis that list Plastic Man's invulnerabilities and weaknesses. Not that they would've been my preferred source...

I dug up this classic example from Plastic Man #7 to address the subject head-on. Usually I prefer to review physical copies I've scanned myself, but I'm breaking my rule in the hopes of performing a service for curious fans. The 1947 issue has lapsed into the public domain, so you can legally read it for free on Comic Book+, even though DC acquired the rights to Quality Comics in 1956.

It, of course, hasn't escaped my notice that Plastic Man was defeated in the first skirmish. Dr. Volt used ingenuity to temporarily incapacitate Plas' by burying him in rubble. The thing to notice here is that he was able to absorb a direct lightning strike with only a small plume of smoke to show.

I have to imagine there are more examples of Plastic Man facing an electrical current. I am aware of a popular example cited from Superman/Batman #31, but that was Lex Luthor using an unspecified energy field to disrupt the stability of Plastic Man's physical composition, rather than simple electrocution.

Navigating the real world science of lightning strikes on rubber doesn't seem to be much easier. Most articles are preoccupied with public safety, and busting myths about the protective properties of rubber boots, or car tyres. The voltage and heat of a direct strike is too high for common insulators to hold up.

This is ultimately a matter of fiction, and real-world science can only offer so much insight. Plastic Man is an impossible hero able to withstand impossible danger. Needs of the modern era may interpret this differently, but for the time being, we can record that Dr. Volt could not stop Plastic Man with lightning.

This is a bonus battle added to the current schedule. If you like Secret Wars on Infinite Earths and want to see more entries like this, you can support the project (and my continued survival) via Patreon. Patrons can get involved with extra voting polls, and options for choosing special feature articles.

If you'd like to own a print version of this story, and discover more from the original Quality Comics run, you can find it collected in Plastic Man Archive Edition: Volume 7. Using the Amazon link provided to do your shopping will also help support Secret Wars on Infinite Earths at no additional cost to you!

Find more weird and wonderful heroes by following links throughout this post, or by stretching your way to the Secret Index! There you'll find every featured fight archived by publisher, series, and issue number!

You can also subscribe via Twitter and Facebook to get daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day! Don't forget to like and share the battles!

Winner: Doctor Volt
#333 (new) Doctor Volt
#357 (-78) Plastic Man
#578 (new) Woozy Winks [+1 assist]