SPIDER-MAN versus GREEN GOBLIN
He Who Laughs Last...! (Marvel comics)
Where: Amazing Spider-man #176 When: January 1978
Why: Len Wein How: Ross Andru

The story so far...
Aunt May is in the hospital after a heated exchange with a police officer during a rights for the elderly march, but Spidey's got more problems than just the wacky adventures of the terminally hospitalized Golden Oldie!

Psychologist supreme, Dr. Hamilton, has been kidnapped with signs of a struggle, and all signs point to a patient who's gone off the deep end -- but isn't Dr. Hamilton treating the amnesia stricken Green Goblin, Harry Osborn?

That's right true believers! The Green Goblin is back in action, and his first stop is his apartment, where he rooms with one Flash Thompson. Uh oh, looks like Flash is about to step in it real good, unless a certain spectacular individual can spider his way over there!

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#1): Victorious over classic foes such as; Kraven, Tombstone, Scorpion, Mysterio & Sandman.
Green Goblin: Harry Osborn has not yet been featured.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Spider-man 5 (Super Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Draw 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Draw 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Green Goblin 4 (Arsenal)


I'm once again a week behind updates, but no doubt even had this update come in on time, most of you probably would have seen Spider-man 3 by now.
So, at this point, your general knowledge of characters like Green Goblin are probably going to pretty much be up-to-date. There will be subtle differences, but you've at least got a decent idea about the hypotheticals involved.

What I'm doing here is admitting that straight up in an effort to win you over, but more to the point, I'm padding out this section. I have to admit, this really seemed like a good part of the concept earlier on in the site's life, but I'm sure some of you are finding it more and more tedious each time around.
Although, on the other hand, I know some people are enjoying absorbing the tiny morsels of comic book factoid, so for the good of the team...

Spider-man's strength tends to fluctuate based on interpretation, but generally speaking he's got Harry pretty well covered. The strength gained from the Goblin's serum would be lucky to challenge Captain America, on most days, who also has basic serum-based enhanced strength.

Taking the emotion out of it (featured in Spidey 3), Green Goblin's arsenal is the core of what he's about. The razor bats, pumpkin bombs, glider, finger zap and whatever other nasty things are available. It's nice and gimmicky, but at the end of the day Spider-man's agility and preternatural warning senses go great lengths to nullifying that, and his webbing offers a good defensive/offensive option.

So, what am I saying?...

The Math: Spider-man (Meta Class)
The Pick: Spider-man

What went down...
Discovering his shared apartment totally trashed, Flash Thompson is none too pleased to find the Green Goblin slamming the door behind him, as he makes his startled entrance to investigate the bat-shaped glider in the middle of the room.

Thompson attempts to confront his "melodramatic" friend, who seems to have shifted to a personality unique to the Goblin, but gets a face full of finger-bang for his trouble! With Thompson out cold, the Goblin contemplates his exit, but it seems someone has snuck into the room while he was distracted...

Spidey drops in on his pal, and gets a goblin finger spark for his trouble!
The Goblin keeps Spidey swinging, evading his blasts while he makes for his glider. Too bad for him, Spidey's agility combined with the tight spacing makes for the perfect intercept!

Grappling with his troubled best friend, Spider-man supplies the additional weight to throw the goblin-glider out of whack. Spidey is hurled across the room as the Goblin spirals out of control, colliding with a wall.

Spidey tries to talk his buddy down, but the Goblin's bag of tricks isn't empty yet!

Shaken, Spidey is unable to avoid the Green Goblin hurling a razor bat at him, which packs an added little extra punch -- an electric charge!

Spidey gets fried, but manages to hit a wall, and steady himself enough to shoot a line of webbing at the Goblin! Mustering his proportionate strength of a spider, Spidey yanks the Goblin across the room, directly into his waiting fist!

He smacks the Goblin across the room and yanks him back for some more, swatting him like a green and purple paddle ball! The second punch sends the Goblin careening into the wall in a manner that would surely leave any normal man crippled, had he not enhanced himself with his father's super serum!

Despite the high impact collision, the Green Goblin is still sound enough to make it to his feet!

Spidey tries to talk his friend down, assuring him that his personal losses aren't the end of his world, but this only antagonises the unhinged Goblin!

Desperate to defend his "new life", the Green Goblin snatches up the unconscious Flash Thompson, who has been left like a ragdoll on the floor the entire time.

Thompson let's out a grown as the Goblin lifts him and menacingly retorts, "If you're so concerned about saving your friends, my dear web-slinger -- try saving Flash Thompson!!!

And with that, he hurls his roommate and friend out the window, for a cliff-hanger ending!

The hammer...
So... I guess there's a real argument to go both ways here, so I'm just going to call it down the middle and go with a draw. Green Goblin certainly gets the last laugh, but Spider-man had more than his fair share of licks throughout the encounter.

All in all this is a pretty quaint number. I'm not sure if it was the best feature to go with to represent the Harry Osborn incarnation of the Green Goblin, but it was good enough to make Spider-man Family #1, and I don't have too many more lying around handy, so it's what we've got.

It sounds like a lot of the wackier aspects of Harry's descent into becoming the Goblin have managed to find their way into the latest feature film. Certainly the selective amnesia has made it's way in all it's cornball glory, as has the insanity and ultimate redeeming qualities that remain buried within. The only thing missing is a bad ass look.

I don't want to go ragging on the film before I've even seen it, because I'm sure I'm going to have a lot positive to say too, but they're zero for two on Goblin designs. With all the things that did translate, I'm kinda disappointed we couldn't have had something that resembled the original films costume more, even if it was a little dorky, too. The generic suit and extreme hang-ten glider just don't click with me at all, and I think if you're going to indulge the technicolour silly of amnesia, you've got to try to do something with the costume!

Anyway, not to nitpick too far, but we seem some unfortunate fatalities in the film, something you can't help but feel Raimi should be above, given the hindsight of the Batman films, and general common sense.
I'm not going to dwell on the spoilers, but I will use that as a segue of sorts to bring it back to the comics. Oh yes! I'm good, people!

With the Norman Osborn incarnation of the character dying, Harry endured as the Green Goblin, continuing the legacy with a healthy dose of drugs, goblin serum and soap opera. He was a prominent factor beyond this appearance, into the eighties and nineties of when I was really enjoying Spider-man, eventually being put to rest under the dutiful pencils of SWoIE's favourite, Sal Buscema.

Much like the film version, the character died with some level of redemption, survived by his loving wife Liz, and a creepy, ominous son, Norman Jr.
I can't help but feel this was a really fitting close to a chapter that really encapsulated a lot of the greatest milestones for Spider-man in his first thirty years. That's perfect, fine.

Flash forward half a decade and Norman is revealed to be alive and well, complete with some sort of healing properties produced by his potent dose of serum. Then another half a decade later you get variations on the goblin introduced via the Osborn/Stacy children, but back it up for what I'm going to wrap this 1:26am overdue update with.

The Spider-man movie franchise highlights the perfect concept of an arc to the characters, making way for forward momentum. This kind of reality and progress was something that really helped put the Spider-man character on the map for a lot of readers, I'm sure. So for that, the series, regardless of it's decision in the final installment, probably deserves to be commended.

The comics, as newer readers hitting us up will quickly learn, shall be forevermore shamed for sullying the value and finality of death.
Of course, I'm a huge hypocrite because I kinda liked the Phil Urich Goblin who found Harry's equipment and used it for good. So even though I'm saying it's a shame they didn't keep the cover closed on the Green Goblin, I guess I'm making exceptions.

Norman Osborn has been a bit of a hoot in Thunderbolts lately, and later in the month we'll have some Norman coming special delivery. So, stay tuned for that.
In the mean time, I'm going to go to bed, because I'm almost certain this has wound up being one of the less well considered editions of the discussion based Hammer section. Good night!

The Fight: 2.5 The Issue: 3

SUB-MARINER versus ATTUMA
What If... Destiny Had Not Destroyed Atlantis? (Marvel comics)
Where: What If? #41 When: October 1983
Why: Alan Zelenetz How: Marc Silvestri & Mel Candido

The story so far...
Possessing the Helmet of Power, a criminal mastermind called Destiny attempts to conquer the world, rock the undersea kingdom of Atlantis to it's very core.
Responding to the threat, Emperor Thakorr sends the avenging son, Namor, out into the field to put a stop to the attacks, but Namor is bested and has his memory stripped from him, leaving him to dwell among the surface dwellers lost and without a history.

In this world, however, the Sub-Mariner is victorious against the threat of Destiny, and while a plot of assassination and treason takes place back in Atlantis. Byrrah sets in motion his plan to seize the throne, and ultimately frames the Sub-Mariner himself for the murder of Thakorr.

Denying the will of Neptune himself, Namor enters a self-imposed exile, turning his back on a people blind enough to fall for the ploys of a corrupt dignitary.
Poetic irony sees Byrrah comes under a coup himself, set upon by the barbaric Attuma who believes himself a superior ruler to the pompous murderer.
But will Namor answer the call of his people, or turn his back forevermore?...

Previous Form:
Sub-Mariner (#27): Victories over the X-Men, Brotherhood of Evil Mutants & Dr. Dorcus.
Attuma (#244): Attuma was thwarted recently by the MODvengers.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Sub-Mariner 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Sub-Mariner 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Sub-Mariner 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Agility 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Draw 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Attuma 2 (Projectile Weapon)


I love Namor, but seriously, if you want to talk about the keys to victory, most of his villains could probably just bore him to death. You can kind of understand his fading into obscurity when you take the Nazis out of the equation, and rule out the one hundred and ninety-seventh invasion of the surface/fight with the Fantastic Four.

Attuma's probably just about the pick of the litter when it comes to Namor-specific villains. Granted he doesn't have the snazzy van dyk of Dr. Dorcas, but what he lacks in villainous facial hair, he makes up for in brute force.

On the superhero richtor scale they're pretty comparable. Varying characterization sees each as a fraction more powerful than the other, but on the whole I'm going to say the Hulk-slapping Namor takes that post. Likewise on the strategic intelligence front, even though Attuma is no doubt a fine military mind.

What Attuma does generally have over Namor is numbers. Despite being the rightful and prosperous Prince, Namor's arrogant temper and conflicting association with the surface world leaves him with few truly faithful subjects.
Attuma on the other hand manages to regularly rally barbarian soldiers, and sway the political interests of Atlantis at a whim.

Ultimately Attuma probably serves more than a distraction for Namor, but more often than not the war will be won by the Sub-Mariner, if not every battle. Imperius Rex!

The Math: Sub-Mariner (Meta Class)
The Pick: Sub-Mariner

What went down...
With an eighties pop-rock ballad blaring, Namor returns to Atlantis, having done some general adventuring and soul searching. Ready to accept his birthright, he returns to Atlantis to open a can on the barbarian ruler Attuma, complete with Neptune's personal trident, which he previously had turned down.

The Sub-Mariner punches his way through the kingdom, making his way to the throne room, where he makes an explosive entrance, flying through the doors with demands that would do Zod proud, "Bend your knees to the true prince, Barbarian knaves!"

Attuma commands his guards to seize Namor, but they are less than enthusiastic about their duty. Reaching his hands out to columns at his sides, Namor mocks them. "How you tremble, lowly warriors of base-born Attuma. What -- do you fear the strength of Namor?" With that, he flexes his mighty mutant muscles, and pushes the load baring columns to the point of buckling. He literally brings the ceiling down atop the insurgents unwelcome to the throneroom.

Standing confidently beside the wreckage is Prince Namor, with Neptune's haloed trident in his stead. He waits while Attuma pulls himself from the wreckage of the besmirched Atlantean palace.
In possession of a sword, Attuma hunches and curses Namor's insurrexion, promising to feed him to the serpents.

Attuma's attack is powerful but undisciplined.
Namor is able to swiftly defend the attack with the trident, matching the warrior blow for blow, despite lacking the savage desperation of Attuma's movements.

As Namor talks up his game, Attuma manages to disarm him! With a whip of his sword he flicks the mighty trident from the Prince's hands, flinging it out to land staked by the staff in the undersea dirt.

Not too proud to fight dirty [*ahem*], the Sub-Mariner uses his strength to lift a heavy rock and hurls it at Attuma's face. With the advantage his again, he turns to more traditional means of combat, throwing his weight into a devestating right hand.

Attuma acknowledges his foe's strength, but with a left to the bread basket, scoffs it's comparison to his own impressive physicality. Attuma grabs at Namor's face and heckles, "Does defeat choke the boasts in your throat now, haughty man-fish?"

Namor reaches out to Attuma's face, and furious throws his weight into a left that gets his opponent off of him. Though rattled, Attuma is still in a position to quickly respond in kind with his own jaw-shaking punch, but Namor is likewise not so easily felled.

With one last righteous punch, Namor delivers his decree to the coup leader in word and fist.
"Never shall one soul more of proud Atlantis perish as victim of Attuma's lust for blood!"

No longer able to retaliate, Attuma is lifted off the ground, hoisted above the rightful heir to the throne with Neptune's trident baring witness to the grim occasion. Demanding justice of a murderer, the Sub-Mariner pledges to do what he must.

Attuma dies for his crimes.
Order is restored, and Atlantis is again with a worthy king, but it comes as too little, too late.

Disillusioned, the Atlantean people ask of Prince Namor why it was he did not answer their first plees for help.
With their kingdom torn asunder, much like their hope, the Atlantean peoples dissipate, scattering themselves across the ocean floor like the memory of the once mighty kingdom. Even the insidious Krang joins the other Atlanteans, mournful for his involvement in Byrrah's original manipulation. Thus, Namor takes the throne in an empty kingdom.

The hammer...
Though there is little left to rule over, Namor is king of Atlantis and victor once more in the Secret Wars of Infinite Earths!

A little bit of cross pollonation there. We said goodbye to What If Wednesdays at the end of last month, but I thought I'd bring sexy back one last time for the Monday MUA fun. While it isn't one of my favourite stories, I'm glad I did take the time to look over it again.

I'd love to know who out there is a fan of Atlantis, because honestly I think there's a real argument to be made for pushing it aside. With the Sub-Mariner mini-series coming up soon, I'm thrust into bemusement as solicitations trickle out concerning the heavy involvement it takes with Atlantis.

We've talked in the past about the viability in entertainment of undersea adventures, and how even films of that nature have fallen by the wayside.
I don't think there's anything to suggest an undersea story can't work. I think of a recent issue of Black Panther where the Atlantean backdrop was actually enjoyable, with Namor's involvement as a political figure taking centre stage.

I'm loathed to suggest destroying Atlantis, regardless of the dramatic potential such a concept has. It has been done before, and there's always a heavy expectency in the gut for events such as those to be undone. Still, I remain thoroughly unimpressed by all I hear about the mini-series, and am reminded here how unimpressive Atlantean pseudo-politics can be, despite it's potential.

One can't help but feel a boat was missed with Civil War. Looking to Black Adam for inspiration, you can see how the catalyst of Namorita's death could have been the spark which lit a fire to take Namor to a place of purpose.
Nobody wants to see Namor rip through the country on a murderous rampage just because it worked for Black Adam, but it seems tragic that Namor, who was characterized in such a manner long before Black Adam, is being outdone by a copycat. Instead, he languishes in an obscure limbo of being himself, yet not so.

Not to say change is bad. I still strongly stand by my concept of moving Namor back into the surface world, allowing him to take active interest in a role more reminiscent of a super-ambassador. With the political atmosphere so tense in post-Civil War Marvel, it becomes even easier to justify the shift, bouncing off of the Atlantis sleeper-agent/Damage Control conspiracy sub-plot.

Of course, the ultimate goal of my concept would be to have Namor taking a pro-active role in the criminal underworld, acting in the vaccuum left by the imprisonment of figures like Kingpin, Bullseye, Daredevil, Punisher, Owl, Hammerhead and other noteworthy gangsters. Even with DD and his fellows moving back to the scene, I think it would be wonderfully interesting to see the interplay between these characters.

That corner of the Marvel Universe is heavily directed by the prestigious Daredevil title, and while you could never ask to impede on the direction of that book, somewhere at the heart of the concept is that issue number five where DD and Namor met. It's so often noted as many fans' favourite fights, and I love the idea of giving some sort of logical validity to a scenario like that in a contemporary setting.

Yes, it's a distinct shift, but there are a lot of smaller moving parts that would make it work. It's probably a little too radical to happen even if I somehow establish myself as one of the most exciting new writers in comics, but damned if it isn't a pitch that will rip your fucking nipples off!
And yes. You can bet your arse I'm going to be peddling it again in the future, because what's coming is boring. I want excitement!

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 4
NEXT: Can a rag tag bunch of Z-graders possibly stand up to the might of the deadly DRAGON MAN?!

GENERAL ZOD versus SUPERMAN
Last Son: Part Three (DC comics)
Where: Action Comics #846 When: February 2007
Why: Geoff Johns & Richard Donner How: Adam Kubert

The story so far...
A long time ago on the planet Krypton, a brilliant scientist named Non served as mentor to a man named Jor-El. Together they made the grim discovery of the impending destruction of their own planet. A discovery that saw them chastized by their own leaders, and the two were commanded to cease further investigation.

Jor-El chose to use the knowledge to save his only son, Kal-El, by building a rocket ship that could travel to a planet far away and sustain him so that Krypton may continue through his blood.
Non, on the other hand, took his message of doom and attempted to inspire enlightened dissent in the Kryptonians.

Non was captured and his mind was irrevocably damaged as punishment for his disobedience. It was this act that finally inspired the militant Zod into action, and together with the brutish Non and another named Ursa, they rebelled.
Though Zod attempted to recruit Jor-El to their cause, it would ultimately be the scientist who would defeat him, imprisoning him in the Phantom Zone, recognising his motivations as greed, rather than nobility.

Decades later, Zod has been set free, and he is most displeased...

Previous Form:
Superman (#7): Superman has struggled against competitive competition.
General Zod: Zod has not yet been featured on the site.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Draw 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Zod 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 6 (Sound Speed)
Stamina: Draw 6 (Generator)
Agility: Superman 3 (Athlete)
Fighting Ability: Zod 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Draw 5 (Lasers)


I wonder how many people actually read this area. Some of it has to come down to the match-ups I've been going with lately, but is this not the most boring part of the blog? Hmmm... I suppose there are a lot of boring parts...

There isn't a great deal of an analysis that goes into a fight like Superman/Zod. These guys both experience similar benefits to being Kryptonian in our corner of the galaxy. They both have the super speed, the flight, the strength, the laser eyes, and all the other subtle variations on the powers we all know and love.

Not sure if Zod has any of those lesser known one-off Superman powers.
There's every possibility Zod could lay a French kiss on Superman, and make him forget who he is, and all that he can do. There's just no way of knowing that until it happens, right? Maybe keep your eyes on All-Star Superman for that one...

The broad physical strokes are obviously highly comparable, but as characters the basic points of their psychology tend to diverge. The temperament of the two characters are where we can expose the differences in their fighting potentials.

There's a simple truth to each character and the way they approach the world. Even in his many incarnations, Zod is a militant self-serving zealot of great arrogance. His concerns for others are minimal, painting a steady contrast to Superman.

Not to discount Superman's commitment to good, but the grungey determination a Zod shows is easily compounded by his total disregard for collateral casualties. Superman's soft-touch approach is generally more reactionary and distracted by other interests and commitments. While this might not be his final undoing, it certainly paints a picture of victory in battle for Zod, if not war.

The Math: Draw (Super Class)
The Pick: Zod

What went down...
Harboring a young, mysterious Kryptonian boy, (allegedly Zod and Ursa's son), Clark Kent and Lois Lane's tour through the Daily Planet is interrupted by chaos pretty standard for Metropolis. Even so, Jimmy Olson hits the alarm on his S-shaped watch as lasers blast through the impressive windows of the building.

As the high pitched beeping sounds out in a frequency inaudible to human ears; Clark Kent is already pulling his shirt apart and looking for a suitable exit from the quaking building. He is blissfully unaware of the coming ambush!

At super speed Non flies through the air with ease, using his boot to steer the disguised Superman through the skyscraper wall, out into the air. Their exit reveals a hole in the floor above -- Non's sneaky path!

The descent of the two Kryptonian's is barely interrupted by the multiple metropolitan skyscrapers that stand in their way. After shattering through at least four major buildings, they finally come to a craterous landing in the park.

Remarking on the destruction of his suit [which his mother bought for him], Superman unloads with a thunderous right. The dimwitted Non seems bemused, shifting around in his mouth before spitting a tooth out. With that he grabs Superman by the shoulders, lifts him up, and in one fluid motion drives him into the pavement walkway!

At this point Zod descends, making himself known, smugly divulging all he has discovered about the Earth-people's "Superman." He is surprised that Krypton's "last son" recognises him, but apparently Superman has studied long enough to know Kryptonian prison garb when he sees it, and connects the dots.
[Fortunately Superman is not as easily distracted or concerned with past continuity as some readers. Like me. Bad, bad, definitely bad... - Rain Mike]

Zod does not take kindly to the ease of the assessment.

While Ursa menaces Lois Lane for the Kryptonian child, Zod engages Superman in physical and verbal combat. Like so many villains before, he attempts to plead his case, making a valid claim to his role as a persecuted would-be savior of their home planet of Krypton. He leaves out the unpleasant bits.

With his true colours shining, Zod declares his dedication to the mission, and promises to do as Kal-El should have, and Jor-El would not. He promises to take possession of the Earth, and remake it in Krypton's image.

Grappling evenly with his counterpart, Superman humorously asks, "You and what army, General?", as though General Zod were just another silly super villain name.

As Lois is whisked into the air by Ursa, Superman gets his unfortunate answer.

An armada of peculiar shell-like pods hail down from the sky with streaking tails of blistering heat, presumably from the entry into Earth's atmosphere. They thunder down atop Metropolis, seemingly following a beacon eminating from the Daily Bugle. Superman breaks from Zod and does his best to protect the innocent citizens below, colliding with one of the pods at speed.

The coiled pod breaks apart, freeing the inhabitant -- someone also dressed in Kryptonian prison garb. Someone responsible for one of the greatest tragedies in Kryptonian history: the man who lost Kandor -- Jax-Ur.

Jax-Ur furiously propels himself into the intervening Superman.
They plow into the streets below, leaving a massive hole in the roads Superman was trying to protect.

As he pulls himself from the hole, he finds Zod hovering above with an army of Krypton prisoners flying around the destruction behind him.

Holding something glowing intensely, Zod declares, "I am here to do what your father could not. I am here to save our world. Farewell, Kal-El."
And with that, the world is obscured by light, and then... it shatters...

The hammer...
Despite a somewhat vague conclusion, I'm forced to kneel and give this to General Zod and his fellow Kryptonians.

There's an ironic comedy in referring to the character as General, given just how many distinctly different versions of the character there have been. Even the mugshot I've gone with, from the 2005 Brian Azzarello/Jim Lee story, differs dramatically from this particular take on the more youthful and fashion-chic Zod we have depicted here.

Presumably the lure of film and television writers has gotten so great that, like lengthy time delays enjoyed on projects like Wonder Woman, the requirements of cohesion are being tossed aside in favour of a name.

I should be forth coming, I'm not a big fan of the Donner films, so much so that I haven't even been enticed yet to see Superman Returns, which smelt like a Donner love-letter from day one. Even so, I can't deny that there isn't a quality to this story as a passing Superman adventure tale. Donner's concepts from the film are honed and tweaked here, presumably benefitting from the input of veteran Adam Kubert, and the scripting of Geoff Johns.

My real objection here is just inconsistency. There's an unfortunate tendency for a lot of new readers to readily jump on the illogical bandwagon that DC's universe is somehow impenetrable because their rebooting techniques have been better publicized. Which is silly, and dismissable, but when that attitude becomes justifiable fact, it can really grind on a fan.

I'm the kind of guy who likes the idea of moving forward. I prefer an approach of when mistakes are made, we live with them and move on. I don't like to have a seventh take on a character emerging two years after what was a pretty decent interpretation in an equally promoted storyline.
Particularly given than forty years after the fact, we're getting a story where Zod is apparently only just now making himself known and encountering Superman for the very first time.

It's just too much for on-going story. The best part of a century into the medium, we should also be much better than this. We should be able to live by the convictions of our characters and the reality in which they are defined, and live, and die by. This isn't an answer, Richard Donner, or not.

Superman is a character described by many as lost, broken, or unsalvagable.
I love to disagree with that. I love to believe in the power of this character, and his value to the medium, but even I can't argue against instability.

Intelligent change will take this character into the future, but unnecessary retreading is what has led most characters into their darkest hours, and tightest corners. And Geoff Johns surely has only so-much Hawkman in him.

The Fight: 3.5 The Issue: 3.5

SANDMAN versus SPIDER-MAN
Homesick (Marvel comics)
Where: Spider-man Family #1 When: April 2007
Why: Sean McKeever How: Terrell Bobbett

The story so far...
For much of his life William Baker has struggled with right and wrong. After escaping from prison Baker took a nap on a beach where he was the victim of bizarre radioactive waste which caused a molecular shift in the composition of his body, giving him great power over the sand particles that would now make-up his body.

Rather than using his new powers responsibly, Baker continues his career in crime as the Sandman, clashing with Spider-man time after time. A series of defeats and repeat sentences in jail eventually lead to a shift in the sands of the Sandman.

Desperate for an opportunity to live a normal life free of his criminal history, Sandman tries to adjust in various ways. One way is getting a job lugging crates at the docks, but when Spider-man comes swinging-by looking for trouble, he feels an obligation to step in an help his fellows. But Spidey isn't backing down!

Previous Form:
Spider-man (#1): Spider-man has defeated classic foes like Kraven and Tombstone.
Sandman (#79): Sandman scored the victory over Thing with Thundra and the Frightful Four.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Sandman 5 (Super-Strength)
Intelligence: Spider-man 5 (Professor)
Speed: Spider-man 4 (Olympian)
Stamina: Sandman 5 (Marathon Man)
Agility: Sandman 7 (Unlimited)
Fighting Ability: Spider-man 3 (Street Wise)
Energy Powers: Draw 2 (Projectiles)


Well, Sandman's an interesting case, isn't he? I think we see part of the point in the situation that's arisen in the Spider-man 3 film. As cool a villain as Sandman is, he might not have the depth or motivation to properly represent an A-list villain. In the case of the movie that means you've got it padded out and mooshed into a bunch of other things, while here, you have an awkward balance between legitimate threat and villain-of-the-week.

Physically Sandman has to be one of Spidey's more physical opponents.
As problematic as a Dr. Octopus or Green Goblin might be, neither of them can really exert the physical dominance Sandman displays, and that's a versatile weapon in this case. Not only can he turn his hands and arms to rock hard clubs and mallets, but he can also form various other objects like stoney walls, or dense, sandy tidal waves.

Without easy quick-solves like something involving water to upset the meta-physical balance, Spider-man struggles to properly compete with someone like this. Especially when you throw that tricky intangibility factor into the mix.

Ultimately in a one-on-one confrontation it's hard to pick against Sandman, given how broad his powers are, and how non-specific Spidey is. As intelligent as he is, he doesn't usually have the resources or super-smarts of a Reed Richards, who might be more likely to get the best of Sandman.

As strange as it feels to do it, I've got to say in the absence of a construction scene with a cement mixer, or a dissipating jet stream from a conveniently placed firehydrant, Spidey's toast.

The Math: Spider-man
The Pick: Sandman

What went down...
Unable to sleep, Peter Parker decides a little late night web-slinging might be the trick needed to tire him out. After foiling a jewellry store robbery, Spidey is discontent to find himself on an adrenaline high, more alert than before.
Lucky for him, his trusty new black alien symbiote costume can lend him a hand, knocking him out cold with a crack from a go-go gadget mallet!

Gently carrying forth it's sleeping host, the symbiote decides to continue into a night of terror, overlooking basic theft and a rendezvous with Black Cat in favour of finding some action with some mooks at the docks.

It just so happens these unwitting mooks are the Sandman's newest pals, and he hasn't taken too kindly to what he thinks is an unprovoked attack by Spider-man! Little does he know, the alien symbiote is driving this ship!

Sandman's clubbing fists flow into a barrage of sand, but even on auto-pilot Spidey's agility is more than sufficient for dodging the attack that shatters some nearby crates.
Sandman isn't discouraged, taking another swing with a giant, rock-hard sand fist that is likewise jumped over. Symbiote-Spidey takes a swing at Baker's sandy mug, but his fist travels straight through, popping out the other side.

Symbiote-Spidey follows up with a double shot of webbing, but the Sandman's metamorphic abilities allow him to open up a hole in his mid-section, whilst shifting sands to make a spiked-club of his fist!
The club hammers down on the attacking Spider-man with devestating force!

As much as he'd love to have heard the final words of the uncharacteristically silent Spider-man, Sandman is content to see to finishing the job. He looms over the symbiote Spider-man before crashing down as a wave of sand that turns into a swirling storm before dissipating.

Before Spidey even realises it, a towering Sandman pushes some of the steel freight containers that litter the docks down upon his tiny frame!

The Sandman's gloating turns to curiosity when Spider-man doesn't emerge from the wreckage, but that changes quickly. The goopy, elastic black costume stretches it's way from beneath the crates and slithers it's way into humanoid form to lurch at Sandman.

In a reversal of mere moments ago, Sandman finds himself swinging at air as the symbiote opens itself up where a sandy fist attempts to strike! As the symbiote looms over Sandman he lets out the cry, "What are YOU?!", before being engulfed beneath the slick black, and white sentient costume.

Sandman manages to burst through the goopy pseudo-fabric, emerging to freedom with a renewed determination to put an end to the creature.

The two malleable beings swirl around each other like two halves of a double helix, each attempting to best the other.
They wrap around one and other, before exploding away like two equal and opposing reactions.

Conceding that the symbiote creature knows how to hit, a staggered Sandman seaches the scene for the missing black costume. It finds him before he finds it, as it leaps into his mid-section.

The formless symbiote buries itself in the particles of Sandman's grainy mid-section, jetting deep inside of him.
Baker clutches at his stomach, before rigidly throwing his limbs out straight in reaction to the internal struggle being inflicted upon his transformed being. The symbiote does it's wicked business.

Stringy black tendrils begin to burst out of the Sandman's body, before he explodes in a grainy spray of sand and bodypart shaped blocks as the symbiote expands itself from the inside out.

Emerging as an erect, but formless black sludge, the symbiote discovers one of the artifacts contained within the freighter crates. An artifact that reminds it of a time long ago. An iron-nickel composite meteorite found in Canada. A piece of home.

The hammer...
Well, since Parker was asleep for most of the thing, I'm going to give this one to the Venom Symbiote, with an assist to Spidey.
Not a bad way to kick off Web-Slinging Wednesdays, even if I am over a week late. Sorry about that, guys.

Parker wakes at the end of the story to find himself tucked into his bed, with the black costume hanging innocently over the back of a chair. Presumably this is indicative of the story's place in Spider-man canon, placing it during the period where Peter Parker was the unwitting slave of the Symbiote's midnight whims.

I picked up Spider-man Family on a whim, and I have to say, it's one of the best things I've seen coming out from Marvel in a while. Though a little pricey, it's ultimately worth it considering this particular issue is jam packed with two brand new stories, two classic re-prints, and the first ever translation of Japan's Spider-man J. Pretty damned good, particularly given the title's slant toward the characters being featured in Spider-man 3. I think it's a fantastic way to introduce and induct new fans into the comics culture!

I actually wanted to feature the other new feature story, which dedicates itself to a fight between Black Cat and Hellcat, way back when we were talking International Woman's Day [New Avengers #27]. It never eventuated, but I'm glad to have at least approached the book here with this month of Spidey 3 fun.

Though initially a little uncertain about whether or not it was a Marvel Adventures story, I still found McKeever's classic comicbook fight style to be more than satisfactory in it's balance of characterization and plot. Granted, it isn't a deep plot, but it provides insight into the nature of the Symbiote and it's historical relationship with Spidey for the uninitiated, who might be curious about how the film's take on the effects differed.

The visual combination of Terrell Bobbett (Pencils), Gary Martin (Inks) and Bruna Brito (Colours) makes for a visual feast. I'm a really big fan of this very clean, slick looking style, and I was pleased to see it loosely carried over into the secondary new story, and hope to see a lot more from these guys in the future!

I probably won't actually get around to seeing Spider-man 3 until it hits DVD, but I feel like there has to be something said for Sandman. He's one of those villains who maybe isn't supremely significant, but like a Tombstone, he's just one of those guys I really love to see done well.

Like Doctor Octopus before him, and maybe even Norman Osborne to a lesser degree, Sandman's suffered for his fame in the comic book world. A resurgence in Sandman appearances has seen something of an over saturation, far beyond this book, expanding out into appearances in various core books, and also a complete annual dedicated to a revised origin.

Unfortunately a lot of Sandman's more recent appearances have rested on a return to his more classic villainous role, ignoring the progress the character had made over the past few decades as a man redeeming himself. I gather this is somewhat translated into the film, despite his shonky connection to Uncle Ben's death, but unfortunately the comics have felt the need to push him back into that corner.

Perhaps what made Sandman's transition into a more heroic role more readily acceptable than even an Eddie Brock-Venom was the fact that he never really had any strong motivation. For the most part Flint Marko/William Baker was always characterized as a petty career criminal who simply took advantage of his powers to continue to look for an easy way to make some bucks, usually by robbing or working as a henchman.

The attempts to redeem himself as an honorary Avenger, and as a member of Silver Sable's Wild Pack, were really the biggest steps made, I feel, to fleshing the man behind the sand out, and developing his character beyond the two-dimensional villain of the week he was beforehand.

Still, I'm not too fussy. I'm usually pretty happy to get my Sandman however I can get him, and even as a mook with the Frightful Four, you've seen me enjoy him for what he is. [Fantastic Four #129]
I just can't help but feel it's worth highlighting that Marvel continues to make fairly uninspired decisions like these, pushed less by well grounded creative decisions, and presumably more by cheap tricks.

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 7

MONTHLY PUNCH-UP #17 (May 2007)
BLACK ADAM versus PSYCHO PIRATE
Touchdown (DC)
Where: Infinite Crisis #6 When: May 2006
Why: Geoff Johns How: Phil Jimenez, Jerry Ordway, George Perez, Ivan Reis (If you know which, post a comment)

Quick Fix...
There's a very simple reason for going back to Infinite Crisis for this month's Quick Fix. Actually, there are more accurately two reasons. The most culturally relevant is the nature of the story, which has recently been revealed to have had greater repercussions than we actually knew.

As of 52 #52 the revelation has been revealed that the multiverse within the DC universe has been reduced to fifty-two very specific Earths. From what I gather, each Earth was apparently identical to the DC planet we read, but the time travelling inteference of Mister Mind has resulted in anomolies on each. Thus, we have places like the Wildstorm Universe.

The secondary reason, of course, is an opportunity to talk about Black Adam, who has easily burst out of season 06/07 as the most improved player in mainstream superhero comics. I struggle to think of any character that even challenges his rise to stardom in scope, or in creative quality, which has been with Black Adam in abundance right back from his return in JSA under Geoff Johns [and David Goyer].

I'm still a few entries behind, so I won't brood on this section too much, particularly given that this is a quick fix in the truest sense (spanning barely half a page of comic), but there are a few things that should be said.

I tend to have a lot to say about the modern comics reader, and how certain things are approached. That's probably no different here. Infinite Crisis was dealt it's fair share of criticisms, but for me, as a reader excited more than intimidated by the unknown and historical, this issue had a lot to enjoy.

Johns employs his fanatic knowledge and interest in approaching the DC Universe without a sly smirk, to bring the entire range of DC characters to the forefront in this mini-series. Granted, the vignette storytelling style does not leave room to elaborate, but it allows the freeflow of important bits to drive the story through it's necessary stages and moments. This particular issue pays service to many ideas, including Superboy, who is ultimately terminated in this particular issue.

The benefits of the vignette storytelling may not be seen fully until 52, where a similar structure is put upon the various central characters of that series. Not that I mean to imply Johns invented the concept of switching between stories and locales. This perhaps just laid out a positive way of looking at the concept.

In this particular fight Psycho-Pirate, a fan favourite character who was said to be one of the few to remember the Crisis of Infinite Earths, is taking the fight the heroes of the DCU.

Just as the character prepares to use his emotive abilities to drive Powergirl to beat The Ray in a bitter rage, an unexpected is checked in by Black Adam.
The Psycho-Pirate attempts to manipulate fear into the heart of his former ally, but the will of Black Adam is indomitable. The crisis-survivor doesn't last long.

With his super strength, Adam pokes through the Pirate's head with his fingers, to the shock and disgust of the heroes present. Powergirl remarks, "Was that necessary, Adam?", to which he coldly replies, "Absolutely."

It's this cold, yet purposeful and driven characterization that has made Black Adam one of the most compelling characters coming from DC comics. He really is the most valuable player of 2007, and although his Shazam powers were recently stripped from him in the World War III off-shoot of 52, I eagerly look forward to seeing his future. A future that presumably will involve delving into his past, if not recapturing his power and seeking retribution from someone.

The Fix: 6 The Issue: 7
Winner: Black Adam

The Top Five...
#1 Spider-man (-) (9) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Atlantean Military]
Win Percentage: [73.33%] Features: [15]
Season 2006: [#2] Current Ranking: [#1]

With Spider-man 3 hitting cinemas this month, and in turn five Wednesdays dedicated to the web-slinging hero, it seems unlikely his sticky fingers are going to slip off this particular wall.

Web-Slinging Wednesdays will feature the three major villains from the big screen sequel, as well as an all in fight against the 'Sinister Twelve', and a special fifth week bonus that will see Spidey tackle one of his oldest foes.

There doesn't seem to be anything on the horizon for Spider-man, which might lead one to speculate whether or not he has the eight-legs to last the year at number one. After May, we might find ourselves all Spidey'd out!

#2 Batman (-) (15) (DC)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Superman]
Win Percentage: [78.57%] Features: [14]
Season 2006: [#1] Current Ranking: [#2]

Despite seizing the top spot back twice during the month; Batman again finds himself in unfamiliar territory this year, trailing the all-encompassing dominance of Spider-man in 2007.

In Season '06 Batman shook off hot competition from Daredevil, Captain America, Hulk and Superman, but with the Batbooks suffering from a glut of fill-ins, there isn't much promising an upswing for the character.

Never the less the longevity of Batman and his relevance as a supreme fighting character cannot be denied. While a slip may be inevitable, history may suggest his longterm success may be even more assured than Spider-man's.
News of 2008's Dark Knight will no doubt be key to keeping in the picture.

#3 Wolverine (+1) (10) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Atlantean Military]
Win Percentage: [47.1%] Features: [17]
Season 2006: [#4] Current Ranking: [#3]

Wolverine claws his way up the ranks, mooching somewhat off of the success of his involvement in things like the Avengers double header the past two Mondays.

Wolverine, like all of the top five, has a connection to film/television projects.
While the Wolverine solo-movie remains uncertain, the character has taken a title role in a new cartoon; Wolverine and The X-Men. The series appears to share, if nothing else, a stylistic direction with X-Men: Evolution, and will join Spider-man on the small screen.

Despite utter disinterest generated by Jeph Loeb's current efforts on the core title, and the unnecessary plodding of Daniel Way on Origin; Wolverine continues to force his relevance on a site dedicated to big-two superhero fights.

#4 Ghost Rider (-1) (2) (Marvel)
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [The Avengers]
Win Percentage: [66.7%] Features: [3]
Season 2006: [N/A] Current Ranking: [#16]

With the success of the Nic Cage feature film now in the past; Ghost Rider's days in the top five have to be considered numbered as he slides down the list. If anything, it's surprising the character has endured in the spotlight, carried partly by an obscure cameo in Marvel Zombies.

Efforts to revive and capitalize on the character's mainstream success have been average, at best. While the new on-going book does not suffer quite to the degree of Guggenheim and Chaykin's Blade, it continues to unimpress, with bland storylines and significant character appearances of only a superficial nature.

Of course, the irony is that an upcoming World War Hulk tie-in issue seems shoe horned at best. As much as I'd love to be squeezing these kinds of issues onto the site, for the fight alone, unless someone donates some dosh into the PayPal account, it's not going to get a purchase here. And that's probably a good thing.

Marvel continues to be at a loss for what to do with characters who attract mainstream attention out of their comic book obscurity. With other seventies revivals like Ms. Marvel and Spider-Woman, this is especially disappointing.

#5 Green Arrow (RE) (4) (DC)
Class: [Champion] Last Opponent: [Superman]
Win Percentage: [66.7%] Features: [6]
Season 2006: [#11] Current Ranking: [#9]

Green Arrow makes a charge for the top just in time to save DC from embarassment in the 2007 top five! A solo victory over Red Hood, coupled with a guest-spot in Dark Knight, enough to secure.

As much as I've enjoyed the Batman/Red Hood involvement in the title, cancellation looms for the Green Arrow comic, as the character begins grooming for the new year-long event, Countdown. Whether or not this is going to be a good thing for the character remains to be seen, but if 52 is any indication, it might not be until 2008 that we see any real action for GA.

Interestingly enough, Green Arrow represents the only top five contribution this month that hasn't been in a feature film. Even so, the media continues to have a subversive hand in our decision, the character being a focus in TV's Smallville, as part of the current Justice League inspired stories.

Super Stock...
1. Spider-man (-) (M)
2. Batman (-) (DC)
3. Wolverine (-) (M)
4. Iron Man (-) (M)
5. Hulk (+3) (M)
6. Daredevil (-1) (M)
9. Green Arrow (+2) (DC)
15. Human Torch (+14) (M)
16. Ghost Rider (+2) (M)
19. Winter Soldier (+37) (M)
20. Venom Symbiote (-1) (M)
21. Storm (+4) (M)
23. Wasp (+7) (M)
24. Red Hood (-9) (DC)
30. Atom (+49) (DC)
31. Shadowcat (+59) (M)
32. Black Widow (+82) (M)
35. Moon Knight (+20) (M)
36. Black Bolt (+21) (M)
37. Black Adam (new) (DC)
38. Black Mask (-4) (DC)
50. Machine Man (-4) (M)
61. Harley Quinn (new) (DC)
62. Crimson Dynamo (new) (M)
63. Tommy Jagger (new) (DC)
64. Flash [Barry Allen] (new) (DC)
66. Silver Surfer (-39) (M)
70. Invisible Woman (-42) (M)
73. War Machine (-41) (M)
82. Fin Fang Foom (+81) (M)
83. MODOK (+94)
87. Wingless Wizard (-15) (M)
88. Venom [Eddie Brock] (-10) (M)
100. Phoenix [Rachel Summers] (-8) (M)
105. Gambit (+11) (M)
106. Speedball (+18) (M)
107. Yellowjacket [Hank Pym] (+3) (M)
133. Isis (new) (DC)
134. Nova (new) (M)
135. Vulture (new) (M)
136. Captain Marvel (new) (M)
137. Crystal (new) (M)
143. Luke Cage (-9) (M)
150. Falcon (+30) (M)
151. Hercules (+34) (M)
152. Uncle Sam (new) (DC)
155. Phantom Lady (new) (DC)
156. The Ray (new) (DC)
157. Doll Man (new) (DC)
158. The Human Bomb (new) (DC)
159. Zorrm (new) (DC)
200. Patriot (-14) (M)
233. Karate Kid (new) (DC)
238. Yurrd (new) (DC)
239. Azraeuz (new) (DC)
240. Roggra (new) (DC)
241. Titanium Man (new) (M)
242. Mysterio (new) (M)
243. Crossbones (new) (M)
244. Attuma (new) (M)
245. Lord Krang (new) (M)
250. Wonder Woman (-122) (DC)
255. The Joker (-48) (DC)
256. Bane (-96) (DC)
257. Brick (-35) (DC)
258. Magneto (-37) (M)


#8 Hulk
Class: [Meta] Last Opponent: [Atlantean Military]
Win Percentage: [50%] Features: [12]
Season 2006: [#6] Current Ranking: [#5]

I'll be honest, if it wasn't for the Quick Fix, I'd be using this opportunity to talk about DC's MVP, Black Adam. With that subject well and truly covered, and more to come, there was only one other character I could possibly feature this month. In fact, I didn't want to feature this guy, but I had to.

World War Hulk has begun, and if you've seen the Marvel solcitations for the next few months, he's going to be making himself nice and at home when he comes back to Earth. I'd love to be speaking from the experience of the first issue, which is on sale now, but unfortunately comics are very expensive, and noone has made any PayPal donations. Not that I'm hinting or anything...

But seriously, the Civil War is officially over, simmering down to be The Initiative, which is more of an overall theme and plot for the Marvel universe to deal with. So, does Hulk have the legs to carry a multi-title crossover off the heals of Marvel's biggest events? I'd love to say no. I haven't enjoyed the Hulk in a long time, and even after enjoying much of Civil War, I have to wonder if this is really the answer. Is it really worth another Paul Jenkins Frontline, even at half the issues? I don't know... One thing's for sure, the Hulk is a character to watch in this middle part of 2007!

The Hammer...
What the heck is even going on? Where am I?!
It's been one of those months, and it's probably going to continue. Delays abundant, largely due to dentist appointments, and there's another one coming up, so we'll have to play it by ear. Sorry guys.
Hey, maybe I might actually get something done this time!

So with big issues coming out like the resolution to 52 and World War's III and Hulk hitting the stands, it's just killing me not having the money to pick these things up. As we discussed this month [Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #9], I do things the right way! Every panel you see on this site is scanned by yours truly, for review purposes only. Which means when the money runs dry, as it tends to do, I'm up the creek when it comes to keeping you informed on recent and exciting comic bash ups! Bummer!
If you feel my year and a half tenure as your number one source of fun and facts has earned it, PayPal donations are welcomed, but certainly not required. You can find the donate button in the right menu somewhere back up near the top.

Speaking of the menu, you might also notice a new header for the "User Top 10". This is just another opportunity to help you navigate your way through topics of interest, but using the hits each character label gets to determine a top ten list as influenced by you. Because let's face it, not everyone is interested in my choices that lead us back to Batman being in the top two...
So, if you want to influence that, do so by following the links to your favourite characters!

Going back to the issue of money, you might be wondering why I'm so strapped for cash. Well, aside from everything else, there is the small issue of financing the print run of my first forray into independent story telling. It's taken quite a while to actually get something hammered out -- long than I care to think -- but finally The Kirby Martin Inquest will be available for purchase in the coming months! If you're interested in learning more about this series, you can check out the preview available on ComicSpace!

I'd love to hear from you and get your thoughts on what you've seen.
You might be surprised to find the writer behind Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has NOT done a comic solely about fisticuffs, but rather a study in introducing a depthy character. I've gone to great lengths to try to use the canvas to fill you in and really bring you in to the character of White Ghost/Charles Scott, and the world he lives in. Don't be fooled, though. The series will pack action a plenty as we dive into the seedy criminal underworld ruled by Anthony Romano, and various other characters. In many ways this is a fairly ambitious first project, but it's the kind of story I've always wanted to see.

Fans of Judd Winick's work on Batman, or even Brubaker's Daredevil will probably be able to slot into some of the logic that will unfold as the series progresses. If you've been reading my posts here, you've seen me talk about the "chessboard of continuity" a lot. Take a look at the preview, and prepare yourselves for more info in the coming months on how you can get a hold of that.
The series features pencils by Pedro Cruz, and cover artwork by former Shadowhawk artist and cover artist for an upcoming Brubaker series -- Ted Wing III.

That's probably just about everything covered!
With the addition of the new stat counter I'm getting some great data on how you're finding Secret Earths, and what you're looking for. A lot of Google searching for Spidey 3 information, so hopefully we'll be able to at least service the lighter side of those needs with the upcoming Web-Slinging Wednesdays.
Hey, maybe I should go get on the scans for 'tomorrow's' Sandman update!

All the bet guys!

BONUS!: Hey, if anyone can narrow down which artist drew the Black Adam/Psycho-Pirate portion of this issue of Infinite Crisis, drop me a comment to let me know! You don't have to be registered to comment, and I will be eternally grateful. And hey, thems bragging rights, junior!

April Hit Count: [4235/12793] (+885)