BLADE versus GAMBIT

Old Wounds, Fresh Blood! (Marvel)
Where: Gambit #4 When: May 1999
Why: Fabian Nicieza How: Steve Skroce

The Story So Far...
In the darkest shadows of New Orleans operates a network of secretive clans and guilds committed to the arts of murder, thievery, occult ritual, and more.

The Antiquary is a rogue operator within the Thieves Guild whose collection of ancient texts & artefacts is rivaled only by his enslaved children. It is a life Gambit escaped as a boy, but now that a vampire from the Assassin Guild is stalking the organization, he must return to protect a child threatened by both!

Gambit and Blade have both been drawn into the hunt for the vampire assassin Francios Chicault, and will stop at nothing to end his bloody trail, but when the sun is setting over a New Orleans cemetery, it's each other that they'll be fighting!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Blade 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Blade 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Blade 5 (Marathoner)
Agility: Draw 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting: Blade 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy: Gambit 4 (Arsenal)
Total: Blade 26 (Champion)

Blade specializes in stalking the creatures of the night, but occasionally he finds himself crossing metaphorical swords with a different breed of opponent. His line of work doesn't afford many friends, and sometimes the need to shoot first leads to old fashioned cases of mistaken identity!

In Fear #24, Blade stalked future "frenemy" Morbius, confusing the science-based "Living Vampire" with the undead bloodsuckers he typically hunts. Many years later they'd team together as part of the supernatural Midnight Sons.

When Blade was possessed by the Demogorge after reading from the Darkhold, he began a "Midnight Massacre" of friend & foe alike, battling Ghost Rider & Frank Drake, before he temporarily killed Ghost Rider!

No such worry when he found himself face to face with Wolverine, though! This later encounter with an X-Man included a casual impaling, but Wolverine's healing factor kept him in the fight, turning Blade against SHIELD in the process.

Gambit, aka; Remy Lebeau, might not survive a skewering, but he knows the darker side of life well, having been well prepared by a career as a master thief in his years before joining the X-Men.

Gambit's mutant ability to charge inorganic objects with explosive kinetic energy compliments well-honed skills of deception, speed, agility, and staff fighting. A combination that could actually make him a good match-up for Blade!

Gambit's hand-to-hand "physical methods" were demonstrated in his first melee with the X-Men, where a simple fly kick put one of Ahab's Hounds on the backfoot.

His preferred technique of throwing kinetically charged playing cards proved instrumental when the X-Men infiltrated Avalon - even if cards thrown in Magneto's face earned harsh reprisal.

Gambit's playing cards demonstrate a preference for fast, numerous projectiles, but in a rare display of his potential power, Gambit helped the team escape Onslaught by charging an entire floor of a room in the mansion!

Blade has an arsenal of weapons to counter Gambit's mutant abilities and might just edge him out in hand-to-hand fighting skills, but with his most lethal weapons reserved for vampires, this one is anybody's guess!

The Tape: Blade Ranking: Blade (#126)

What Went Down...

The search for vampires across a network of New Orleans cemeteries makes for busy work -- and Gambit finds himself lighting a cigarette as the sun begins to set, still hunting for his target: the elusive Francois Chilcault.

Before he can drag the first hit -- the deathstick is cut with a sharpened blade!

There are worse things out tonight than vampires!

A darkly dressed man in sunglasses leaps between the tombstones, brandishing his katana as Gambit yanks his staff away from the sword's tip, and backflips clear!

As he shadow dances just out of reach, Gambit puts hands on a deck of cards and sends them streaming towards his attacker with a blanket charge of explosions!

Blade keeps low, avoiding the kinetically charged playing cards, and moves in close with his sword leading the way.

Gambit manages to block the weapon with his metal staff and uses it to swing his legs around for a dangerous low sweep kick.

Blade flips into the air and lands flat on his stomach on the cemetery ground!

This might be an escalation in an ordinary fight, but the moments pause lets Gambit do the talking. Blade realises the dark, burning eyes of his target are not those of a creature of the night. They're both on the same side.

The Hammer...

I threw a little bit of shade at our boy Gambit in a previous update, speculating that we'd all moved on after 1997, but with Disney's X-Men '97 animated series taking us right back to those halcyon days, I figure now is as good a time as any to see what the ragin' Cajun was actually doing around that time.

'99/2000 was notably a rare down-period for my comic book reading, which meant I wasn't even aware of a Gambit on-going series that lasted twenty-five issues at the turn of the millennium! That's what ya get for having other interests!

To be honest, I guess I lost sight of what happened to Gambit after around Uncanny X-Men #350, when the revelation of his secret past with Mister Sinister contributed to a parting of the ways with the X-Men. So, after stumbling upon them at a seller I frequented a few years back, I picked up Gambit #4, and a few other issues, with a sense of intrigue and enthusiasm.

It turned out it was a pretty good investment! Not just because of whatever speculator shenanigans are driving up prices now that cartoon-fueled X-Mania is gripping the masses -- but because the Gambit series is kind of right up my alley!

A Blade guest-spot is just one of the thrills giving the series an unexpected sense of buoyancy, with gratuitous appearances by favourites like Sabretooth, Daredevil, Bullseye, and a rogue's gallery of ne'er do wells that prowl the seedier side of the Marvel Universe. Some are more surprising than others, given X-ties and the era.

On that subject of timing; it's almost obligatory to note the frustration of a lack of comic book momentum for Blade after the mainstream success of the 1998 film. I probably would've liked to have known more about this issue of Gambit back then! It's limited in page count for the guest hero -- but kicks the teeth in on the few solo Blade books that came out in the months, and year, prior.

The first few pages of the issue announce Blade's arrival with a cold open worthy of the movies. He jumps his muscle car through a building, with guns blazing at a pistol-packing vampire, who forces him to choose the hunt - or a small child thrown from a window. It plays somewhere between the digital stuntman opener from 2002's Blade II, and the baby chase from Blade: Trinity -- only much cooler!!

A Blade solo series probably could've benefitted from this kind of kineticism and movie-compatible depiction - not to mention a reciprocal guest-spot by somebody as colourful & distinct as Gambit. Steve Skroce as penciller coulda helped, too!

All we actually got in '98 was a flavourless one-shot, and a three-issue snoozefest following Morbius around restaurants & cafes. Blade briefly slipped back into his seventies look in the first scene of the first issue. Baffling choices that showed a reluctance to embrace the slick cool of the Wesley Snipes character, which I argue leveraged the work of the early nineties Midnight Sons period more than its often given credit.

In the past, the insular drama of the Thieves Guild tended to have about as much appeal in Gambit-centric stories as some of the more generic vampire fare found in contemporary Blade efforts -- so it's of benefit to both characters that they're paired up for an otherwise unlikely meeting in New Orleans.

It's mildly surprising they didn't sew New Orleans vampire mythology into the clan rivalry of the Thieves and Assassin Guilds sooner. As I recall, Mutant X made the most of the association, building upon the overlap between Gambit and Storm as former thieves, and Storm's comic book past with Dracula. I suppose there were limited opportunities to do similar in the mainline books.

It's easy to forget Gambit debuted in 1990 and was only approaching his first decade in comics when Gambit (Vol. 3) #4 hit stands. A lot of his past was shrouded in mystery, and this series and issue are still putting pieces into place, including Remy's childhood in slavery as part of The Antiquary's "Collection".

I probably would've enjoyed seeing Blade and Gambit team-up again. The dark corners of "N'orleans" seems a much more natural setting for Blade to branch out into than his subsequent incorporation into the Avengers. It might've even been interesting to see Fabian Nicieza develop a recurring working relationship between the pair, or some kind of agency, but maybe the latter is skewing a little too close to Chief Wiggum PI. A reader poll on the letters page suggests they were looking for more of a people pleaser than high concept push.

I'll happily settle for this curious little encounter. An unlikely showdown that quickly ends in the classic style, as noted, with the realization of mistaken identities & intentions, and a typical superhero team-up that follows.

It could be a lot fun to take a closer look at that battle in a future entry. If you'd like to help make that happen - consider becoming a supporter on Patreon. It's been unfortunately difficult to find time for updates this year, but with your help I can make growing this curious corner of the web a personal priority.

Secret Wars on Infinite Earths has documented & discussed more than 700 featured fights and ranked more than 1,000 characters! You can find them all by diving into the Secret Archive for a complete index of battles in order of publisher, series, and issue.

Follow links throughout each entry to find more content from your favourite characters and subjects. Get free daily links to fights inspired by the topics of the day by subscribing to Twitter! Don't forget to smash that like, fave, and share -- and keep your eyes peeled for the week's top trending battles every Sunday on Twitter & Discord!

Winner: Inconclusive (Draw)
#125 (+1) Blade
#369 (+4) Gambit

ONSLAUGHT versus X-MEN
Traitor to the Cause (Marvel)
Where: Onslaught: X-Men #1 When: August 1996
Why: Scott Lobdell & Mark Waid
How: Adam Kubert & Dan Green

The Story So Far...
When the Juggernaut falls from the heavens to crash land in Hoboken, it begins the mystery of a new villain who will attack the X-Men at their most personal core. The entity called Onslaught contacts Grey in an effort to recruit her into his mission to destroy the divide between humans and mutants, but before she can submit, the Juggernaut reveals to her the true identity of the armored monster.

Having overcome the mutant forebarer Post; the X-Men find themselves summoned to Charles Xavier's headquarters when the search for an attacking Juggernaut is called off. Little do they realise the Juggernaut is trapped within the crimson gem of Cytorrak sitting on a desk right under their nose, and the true enemy that endangers all of them is right before them -- Professor X!

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Onslaught 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Dark Beast 6 (Genius)
Speed: Cannonball 5 (Superhuman)
Stamina: Onslaught 7 (Unstoppable)
Agility: Ice Man 7 (Malleable)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Power: Onslaught 6 (Mass Destruction)


- When Magneto, inspired by a near death experience, declared war on humanity, it prompted the initiation of the Magneto Protocols. From his orbital station, Avalon, the master of magnetism plunges the Earth into darkness with an EMP that destroys the protocol's electro-magnetic fence around the Earth, along with all electronic technology on the planet. In an effort to prevent further escalation, Professor Charles Xavier leads the X-Men on a suicide mission to Avalon.

In the final confrontation, Magneto mercilessly rips the adamantium from Wolverine's skeleton [X-Men #25] - forcing Professor X to resort to drastic measures. In a spontaneous assault, the Professor uses his telepathic powers to rip the malice and malcontent from Magneto's mind, reducing him to a catatonic state in the process.

Unbenknownst to the Professor, the guilt felt over his attack on his former friend festers in his subconscious, merging with Magneto's ill will to form a gestalt entity borne of his negativity. Onslaught - a creature of mass psionic ability - possesses much of the Professor's telepathic strengths, without any of the inhibition. Clad in powerful psionic armor modelled after Magneto's uniform; Onslaught is also highly resistant to physical attack.

- The X-Men are: Jean Grey, Cyclops, Storm, Bishop, Wolverine, Gambit, Ice Man, Cannonball, and Dark Beast.

The emergence of the mutant X-gene brings with it mixed blessings as humanity finds itself confronted by the next stage in human evolution. As individuals begin to manifest inherent superhuman abilities, two men; Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr; find themselves at a philosophical crossroads where education would be concerned. In contrast to his counterpart, Xavier uses his family fortune to found the Charles Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters, using his knowledge and powers to train and educate mutant pubescents struggling with their abilities.

Xavier's original class consisted of Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, and Warren Worthington III, but would soon expand exponentially proportionate to team's activities as a covert paramilitary force protecting humanity from those who would misuse their power. Among the prominent new recruits; Wolverine, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Kitty Pryde, Storm, Rogue, Havok, Dazzler, Gambit, Emma Frost, and for a short time, even Magneto.

Math: X-Men (Ttl) Onslaught (Avg) Ranking: Wolverine (#6)

What Went Down...
Scouring the grounds of the X-Mansion, the team is gathered to Xavier's study by telepathic call from their mentor. Most of the X-Men are unaware that they are about to walk into a trap that will test everything they believe, but Jean Grey, having encountered a traumatized Juggernaut, knows the horrible truth.

Maintaining a telepathic shield around her mind, Jean Grey probes at the recesses of Professor Charles Xavier's mind, searching desperately for hope, as the jaded mentor delivers his epiphany to the gathered inner circle of X-Men.
While the Professor informs his students that he has lost the faith, Jean Grey notices an artifact easily mistaken for a paperweight on Xavier's desk, but in actual fact, the crimson gem of Cytorrak -- powersource of the Juggernaut!

Before she can even hope to free the trapped soul inside, a psychadelic array of psionic energies fills the space all around a startled Jean Grey. She emplores the Professor to overcome the darkness that has engulfed his heart, but is quickly muzzled by the brute force of Xavier's mental attack.

The X-Men gather to aid their suddenly convulsing teammate, blissfully unaware of the telepathic exchange going on, at least until Cannonball calls their attentions to the chair where the Professor once sat, but now crouches the hulking red and purple mass that is -- Onslaught!

The looming visage of this mighty psionic warrior reveals to the startled X-Men it's origins as a manifestation of Xavier. He compells them to follow him in his unabated march on humanity, to follow as they had once the dream of peaceful coexistence envisioned by the Professor.

When the mutants prove unconvinced by his claims, with the merest of thoughts he attacks their hidden fears, reducing Wolverine to a confused animal, Ice Man to an uncontrollable mass, and Storm a frightened child buried by rubble.

Acting on instinct, Cyclops catches Onslaught offguard with a high powered optic blast! He speaks for the entire team when he warns that Xavier would know all too well that, inspite of their reluctance, they would stand united against him.

Enraged by their opposition, Onslaught unleashes his psionic powers, blasting the gathered X-Men with a wave of raw telekinetic energy, whilst very nearly divulging the hidden portion of his gestalt psyche -- the mind of Magneto!

With the team toppled; Onslaught uses his powers to force the X-Men into a frozen state, while he levitates and phases free of the mansion, intent on recruiting a powerful young mutant to fund his machinations: Franklin Richards!

While Onslaught disappears to Four Freedoms plaza to tempt the son of Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman in the guise of a child -- Gambit uses his ability to generate bio-kinetic energy to charge the mansion floor, freeing the team of their mental hold with the resulting explosion! The team regroups to swap notes and prepare to face the biggest challenge in their history...

The Hammer...
Awww! Admittedly, in what was probably fodder for a quick fix, I give you your crossover prompting winner, Onslaught! Why stretch it out to a fully fledged entry, you ask? Well, aside from the sheer quantity of information attached to the battle, I suppose after declaring X-Men 2: Clone Wars the greatest comic book game of all time, I just wanted to jump on the X-horse while I was in the mood!

The mood to talk X-Men is a pretty rare occurance around the Infinite Wars, and in an ironic twist, you can probably trace that prejudice back to Onslaught.
In a decade where the crux of the X-Men story was the fortune of their survival - baggage accumulated through annual crossover events culminated with the Onslaught saga. So convoluted was the story that it managed to pressure cook not only the X-books, but also the entire Marvel Universe, giving way to Heroes Reborn, a reboot that segregated the core heroes in a parallel universe that left them under the creative direction of former Image founders; Jim Lee and Rob Liefeld.

I have to confess a fondness for some of the early/mid nineties crossovers!
In their unabashed popcorn, stories like; Maximum Carnage, Fatal Attractions, and even Heroes Reborn, fullfil the joyous mixed bag of action introduced by eighties crossover events, with the sense of lasting consequence that has become a stalwart of their modern counterparts (ie; Civil War).

I'm not sure I necessarily regard Onslaught as particularly awful.
It's dominance of the Marvel Universe was certainly frustrating at the time, and it's penchant for taking itself far too seriously retroactively feels sophmoric, given the clunky quality of writing, but -- informed readers will probably have been able to digest portions fitting to their own interests -- a method that makes the story much easier to appreciate for it's positives.

As a historical checkpoint Onslaught deserves credit for it's big crunch solve for a handful of unfortunate lingering plotlines. Teenaged Tony Stark is one of the key errors of judgment that was able to be phased out as a direct result of Onslaught and the subsequent Heroes Reborn reboot. Acting as a soft comparison to DC's linewide Crisis wipe, the aftermath of Onslaught also gave way to a return of traditional design sense that had also been betrayed by the illconceived, gimmick-driven shifts of the nineties.

These Marvel improvements didn't come without a cost, and one might be inclined to say the years of devolution that followed for the X-Universe was probably the price paid for a better Marvel.

Mired in a recurring string of reboots that continues today, the X-Men seem to be unable to escape the albatross of nostalgia beats from periods of previous success. A bright spark of improvement during an experimental post-movie period saw visionary writer, Grant Morrison, lead the reinvention of X-Men for the modern era.

Unfortunately, as with the short sighted design of Onslaught and other nineties X-overs; governing wisdom seems to believe hope for the franchise lies in constant redux and structural shake-ups.

The evolution of mutant society established under Morrison was completely deconstructed with works immediately preceeding, peaking with Decimation, a story which reduced the mutant population to an estimated one hundred and ninety-eight.

Erratic betrayals of consistency like this that have quite probably left the X-Men years away from retribution. No matter how unpopular, I cannot entertain the notion that Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men submitted anything more than repetitive backtracking and excessively familiar cues, (from the seventies, up to the nineties), that have contributed to the stagnancy of the brand.

The Infinite Wars continues to watch on with jaded bemusement as Marvel rolls out a series of silhouetted promotional art for yet another 2009 push for the brand. Cheap tricks and gimmicks feel like another misstep in the opposite direction, but then, on the surface, Morrison and Quitely's leather jacketted trendy X-Men probably appeared the same. We shall see...

The Fight: 2.5 The Issue: 3.5

Missed out on Onslaught the first time around? Found yourself wondering what the deal with that big guy in Marvel vs Capcom was? You can find the "epic" editions of Onslaught wrapped up in two volumes on Amazon! Better yet, by using online purchase links provided on the site, you not only get the convenience of online shopping, but also help sponsor future entries in the Infinite Wars! Looking for more X-Men and other reads? The Infinite Wars Amazonian Gift Shoppe contains a range of collections containing issues previous reviewed in the Secret Archives, and other recommended reads! Booyah!

FANTASTIC FOUR/X-MEN/X-FACTOR/NEW MUTANTS versus AHAB & THE HOUNDS
Days of Future Present Part 4: You Must Remember This (Marvel comics)
Where: X-Men Annual #14 When: 1990
Why: Chris Claremont How: Art Adams

The story so far...
For humanity there exists a dark potential future.
A time where mutants have been hunted to near extinction, and humanity lives enslaved by the robotic Sentinel armies that police the streets so vigilantly.

Franklin Richards and Rachel Summers, refugees from this dark time, escape back to seek protection in a more placid time where their parents stood triumphant and hopeful against these evils. Unfortunately for them, their time travelling escape is not the only shift made from this future.

Dr. Roderick Campbell, the man-Sentinel known as Ahab, follows the two mutant rebels back through the timestream, hoping to use the environment to manipulate a final showdown with his longtime targets. Unfortunately for him, the mutants are far from extinct in this time, and despite his advanced technology and many powers, he may find himself overwhelmed...

Previous Form:
X-Men [#1]: The X-Men have defeated the future's super-Sentinel, Nimrod; among others.
Fantastic Four [#2]: Killed in a future where Death's Head II became AIM super-weapon, Charnal.
Invisible Woman (#12): Prominent victories over Iconoclast, Frightful Four and others.
Cyclops (#45): Invaluable in the X-Men's defeat of Xorn, and Executioner.
Ahab: Making his debut in the Infinite Wars.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Ms. Marvel 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Mr. Fantastic 6 (Genius)
Speed: Cannonball 5 (Super Speed)
Stamina: Ahab 6 (Generator)
Agility: Warlock 6 (Rubber)
Fighting Ability: Cable 4 (Trained Fighter)
Energy Powers: Human Torch 7 (Solar Power)


Okay, so if you're a regular reader you might be scratching your head, trying to figure out what Ahab has to do with Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Rightly so, too, since this is a late post for Monday's on-going celebration of the villains from the video game.

Well, we're closing evil clone month off with a positively epic entry! Pictured to the right, an assembly of the Fantastic Four and X-Teams of the time -- but wait! Can you spy two notable exceptions?

Yes, in his timespanning mission to capture and destroy Franklin Richards and Rachel Summers, Ahab has transformed one of each of their parents into dark versions of themselves -- turning them into sadistic, sinister versions of themselves.

The missing parents in question are of course Invisible Woman and Cyclops, and they're going to be front and centre amongst the nameless Hounds, representing Ahab with mad respect, yo. Days of Future Past style, can you dig?

It might not surprise you to know I'm thinking about folding this section up to include only the statistical information, because I think we're reaching a point where I'm just killing time in this section. There are sixteen heroes assembled in the attack on Ahab, and while that doesn't sound like a lot, and scenarios or predictions are only going to be more boring than they usually say.

Suffice to say, there's a tremendous advantage in the number of heroes, and I'm going to probably just go along with that.
Ahab; a super baddy cyborg from a future where mutants are on the brink of extinction and Sentinels patrol the streets, is a tough customer, but come on.
You've got all kinds of Mr. Fantastic, Beast, Forge combinations there, and the Human Torch, and She-Thing, and all kinds of muscle power there...

The Math: FF/X-Men (Total) Ahab & Hounds (Average)
The Pick: Fantastic Four/X-Factor/X-Men/New Mutants

What went down...
The massive collective of heroes sound Ahab's mutant detecting alarms as they burst into his hi-tech stronghold. Distracted from his torture of the former-mutant hunting hound, Rachel Summers, Ahab turns to face many would-be rebels already deceased in a future where he probably killed many of them.

Reed Richards recognises the green garbed humans by Ahab's side as the twisted forms of Scott Summers and Susan Richars -- Cyclops and Invisible Woman, respectively. Boastful of his powers, Ahab sets his Hounds on the invaders.

The armoured Cyclops is the first to do damage, unleashing his optic blasts with enough force to shake even the She-Thing, Ms. Marvel!

Mr. Fantastic steps up to use his elastine body to absorb the brunt of the plasma blasts, while Jean Grey does her best to telekinetically stem the flow of Invisible Woman's malicious invisible forcefields.

The move frees Ms. Marvel up to do more damage where she's better applied, against the nameless bruisers of Ahab's sinister collective of Hounds. The young mutant Cannonball struggles with the moral fact that many of the Hounds were innocent mutants before they met the control of Ahab's machinery.

Meanwhile, Jean Grey suffers moral conflicts of her own, struggling to battle Invisible Woman without inflicting any mortal injury on her during this murderous state. Recognising the issue, Mr. Fantastic taps Banshee to disarm his wife with the non-lethal means of his sonic scream.

Busy grappling with Grey, Invisible Woman is easily blindsided.
Meanwhile, Cable comes up with a plan to use Warlock's tech receptors to absorb the power from Cyclop's power blasts.

Warlock neutralizes X-Factor's jaded leader, while the battle rages onward around him. Cable and Ben Grimm do their best to use non-lethal weaponry to subdue the Hounds, while Gambit, Ms. Marvel and Boomer opt for more physical methods.

Cable, having subdued the Hounds in immediate opposition, sees a path to make a frontal assault on their half-Sentinel leader, Ahab!

Cable lunges at the suspiciously similar looking Ahab, finding himself a little out of his own cybernetic depth. Clutching at Ahab's harpoon staff in the defensive position, Cable soon discovers it is directly connected to Ahab's own power.
With his hands burning, Cable finds himself unable to let go of the weapon, forced to stare into the face of the enemy. Ahab taunts him, asking the mutant whether he sees someone he knows, before swatting him away with the staff.

Storm, suffering the youthful affects of a previous encounter with The Nanny, finds her way to the imprisoned adult Franklin Richards. She does her best to summon Franklin's senses before Ahab can act, but it turns out his trump card affects more than the pod-bound son of Mr. Fantastic.

With the push of a button, Ahab levels the playing field of both his enemies and allies. An energy field attacks the heroes and Hounds alike, attacking their living tissue to the point of incapacitation. Only the mega-powered Franklin Richards is left standing, glowing with incredible mutant energies.

Ethereal, Franklin destroys Ahab's machines of harm with but a gesture.
Unsure and intimidated by the threat he's faced with, Ahab summons his Hounds to heel, including Rachel Summers. Courageously Summers defies her former master, prompting him to toss his harpoon spear for her defiance.

Franklin and Jean Grey intervene, stopping the spear in mid-air with their respective powers. The pressure situation proves more than the adult Richards is able to deal with, impeding his ability to exert his fantastic powers over the mechanical weapon. Likewise, Jean Grey struggles to maintain her telekinetic hold over it.

As Ahab's weapon propels itself gradually closer, Jean Grey unleashes all of her energy, diving between her daughter from the future and the weapon in a last ditch effort. Exhausted in her daughter's arms, Grey is successful.

Seemingly out of tricks, Ahab finds himself surrounded as Reed Richards declares his imminent defeat. The cyborg from the future taunts Richards with the promise that regardless of his fate in the past, Ahab has the last laugh in battle with the heroes. With that he teleports away, leaving the gift of his mark on their loved ones; Cyclops and Invisible Woman.

The hammer...
Woof, well, after all of that, your winners, the Fantastic Four, X-Men, X-Factor and New Mutants. Since everyone is seen to be active in at least panel dressing, I think I'm forced to hand the win to everyone, regardless of the weight of individuals like Franklin Richards. Rachel Summers proved uninvolved in this fight, but for provoking Ahab to seperate from his harpoon, an assist stat.

So, with the pleasantries out of the way, we can finally wrap this one up.
Y'know, it actually turned out to be a lot more straight forward than I felt like it was going to be. I guess part of the issue was that it probably wasn't until the advent of the Fox/Saban cartoon series that I really became a fan of X-Men.

I could be wrong, but this might just about be the first X-Men comic I ever owned, and even then it was probably more because of the story running through from the Fantastic Four annual. Even so, I have to admit to fond memories of this particular issue. Crammed full of characters and action, it actually ranked considerably higher with me at the time than the more subdued FF instalment.

It introduced me to characters like Cable, who was appearing with the New Mutants, a book I was even less interested in than the more recognisable X-books. I mean, I had a passing interest in Wolverine, and Cyclops, and Colossus, and some of those characters, but the New Mutants were barely on the radar!

I couldn't say why that really was. Long before the internet blogosphere, I was pretty removed from the reading public, so I certainly didn't indulge in the Liefeld sensation, or the general X-boom. I can't say if it was all the tail-eating future stories, or the boring similarity amongst the costumes, but something just turned me away from that X-corner of the Marvel universe.

Of course, it's not like there weren't convolusions across the board at the time.
Ben Grimm was finally cured of his rocky predicament, metaphorically passing the curse to Sharon Ventura, who was mutated in much the same way, becoming the affectionately referred to -- She-Thing.
If you've been reading the Infinite Wars recently, you'll know Sharon Ventura eventually showed up, in her human form, to woe the emotionally conflicted Grimm who had again become the Thing [Fantastic Four #367]. If you stay tuned, we'll be filling in some more of those gaps in the coming month.

Fortunately, the combined brilliance of Forge, Beast and Reed Richards, all exibit expertise in fields of mechanics and genetics, are able to use intelligence from the wreckage of Ahab's abandoned facility to return their loved ones back to normal.

The story of Ahab, however, would never enjoy that kind of satisfaction. There are many fabled tales of editorial changes made throughout Chris Claremont's legendary affiliation with the X-Men, and the Ahab character is one of the many.

The reference to seeing someone he recognises during Cable's attack on Ahab alludes to the conceptual conclusion that Ahab was in fact the unfortunate progression undertaken by Cable. The trademark skunk streak, scarred eye, and expanded cybernetics were all indicative of a corruption at some point in the mysterious Cable's future.

Cable would undergo many permeatations, absorbing new pieces of his history and future to eventually become one of the many maligned creations of the X-Universe. His close association with Rob Liefeld and subsequent pad/weapon/pocket heavy design also made for a shakey relationship between fan and character coming out of the declining nineties.

I don't know if you could rightly call this comic fantastic.
It's got that event-heavy action packed quality of the time, with an execution typical of Claremont, occasionally creeping into the embarassingly explanatory.

At the same time Art Adams' artwork is thoroughly effective, and really sticks out in my mind for a lot of reasons. Quiet moments have an odd energy about them, but likewise carry a consistent emotional weight that's prevelant even in the action scenes. His style is beautifully complimented by a slew of inkers, and colours by Brad Vancata which somehow seem to exceed what was typical of the era.

I find myself searching for a reason to call this one of the most enjoyable comics you could ever read, but it's just so hard. Maybe I'm tainted by vague, fond memories from 1990, I do not know. I think what ultimately shines through here is everything positive about this kind of nineties comic book, still sporting the musk of the less spiteful decade of the eighties.

There's playful mystery to the characters, dynamic action sequences, and a pretty clear line between the heroes and the villains. It's not about the internal conflict, even though two heroes are turned to fight against their fellows. It's just about an evil killer cyborg from the future, and a massive collection of heroes culminating their efforts in one big battle.

I'm going to borrow from Bully's criteria, and just call this comic fun!

The Fight: 4.5 The Issue: 6
[Days of Future Present ran in the 1990 annuals of the titles starring the four respective teams involved. The story played off of the previous decade's famous X-story, Days of Future Past, detailing a dystopian future where mutants are hunted to the brink of extinction. The Claremont/Byrne story from 1981 remains one of the most popular alternate universe tales, heavily influencing the grim future depicted in the recently returned NBC series, Heroes.]

MARVEL ZOMBIES versus SILVER SURFER
Marvel Zombies (Marvel comics)
Where: Marvel Zombies #3 When: April 2006
Why: Robert Kirkman How: Sean Phillips

The story so far...
In the universe dubbed 2149, heroes and villains are no longer of any relevant concern. However, this is not a reality of uptopian peace and harmony among man.
The super powered heroes and villains of the Marvel universe have simply become infectious walking dead -- zombies!

With humanity all but exterminated, and the efforts of the genius zombified Reed Richards having been foiled by his alternate counterpart, the zombies are tortured by their lust for fresh meat.

Their undead prayers are soon answered with the arrival of a chrome skinned spaceman called the Silver Surfer, who warns of the coming of the great devourer, but they've got news for him: HE'S the one that's going to get devoured!

Previous Form:
Silver Surfer (#28): Silver Surfer had a victory over Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner.
Marvel Zombies: They ate Magneto...

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Hulk 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Giant-Man 6 (Genius)
Speed: Nova 7 (Light Speed)
Stamina: Silver Surfer 6 (Generator)
Agility: Spider-man 5 (Cat-like)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Silver Surfer 7 (Solar Power)


Ah, well, here we are again, approaching once more the monumental task of one unfortunate against the ravenous league of the Marvel Zombies. No, not the fans! The infected heroes and villains of the title of the same name.

Our format has changed considerably since the last time we did this [Marvel Zombies #1], and because of that, I feel the need to at least clarify the roster of zombified characters we are dealing with. They are as follows: Iron Man, Nova, Vulture, Falcon, Storm, Thor, Moon Knight, Black Bolt, Captain Marvel, Daredevil, Iron Fist, Wolverine, Angel, Captain America, Sub-Mariner, Crystal, Gambit, Ghost Rider, Speedball, Deadpool, Black Widow, Giant-Man, Spider-man, Hulk, Beast, Hercules and Power Man, Luke Cage.

That's twenty-seven zombie characters all up!
A pretty big ask for even the Silver Surfer, whose power cosmic provides a wide array of strengths and abilities.

A few people, in response to the Rise of the Silver Surfer trailer have expressed explicit confusion about the nature of the character's abilities. To clarify some of that (and hopefully make this section less boring than usual), the Surfer does not phase through objects.
At least, not in such bland terms. "Phasing" is an expression I would limit to a Kitty Pryde, whose chief ability relates to intangibility and passing through objects.

At various stages the extent of Silver Surfer's cosmic powers have been explored, highlighting his abilities on a molecular and atomic level. So, as far as passing through buildings and buses and whatnot, he's less "phasing" than he is displaying his brisk harmony with the universe, and molecular manipulation.
Given some time and energy, he could probably turn lead into gold, too.

So, against an army of Marvel Zombies, does this come in handy?
Maybe, but it isn't one of his chief abilities and requires some effort, so he's not about to try to turn Iron Fist into cheese mid-fight. He's more likely, as I'm sure you're about to see, mow them down with raw blasts of cosmic energy.

Since even Wolverine has been ravaged by the degenerative qualities of this particular brand of zombie-ism, it's safe to say the Surfer has a great chance of coming out on top here. That said, many of them retain their offensive powers, which does pose a problem.

I guess at the end of this we just have to look at it as one for the fans. Cheap!

The Math: Marvel Zombies (Total) Silver Surfer (Average)
The Pick: The Silver Surfer

What went down...
Trust the math to cop-out and pick both sides!
Things kick off from the opening of this action-packed issue! A zombified Tony Stark [pictured above] leads the charge, with various other flying characters hovering around for a taste of the action.

Not one for emotion at the best of times, and not really used to people doing anything but cower in fear in his presence, Silver Surfer meets their challenge willingly. His cosmic plast tears through Iron Man's armor with ease, shredding his decaying body at the waist.

The airborne torso manages to snag the Surfer's board and leg, while the Vulture and Nova swing around for a bite of the cherry. They provide sufficient interference to pull the Surfer's cosmic blast off course.
It narrowly misses Stark's head, leaving him free to ravenously attempt to take a bite out of the chrome thigh before him. His teeth chip on the cosmic wrap, much to the Surfer's stoic disgust.

"In all my travels -- I have never encountered such creatures!"
He frees himself of the full nelson, and fires off devestating blasts at Nova and Captain Mar-Vell, penetrating gut and face respectively.

A lurking Thor makes his presence known, swinging his mighty hammer Mjolnir with a thundering KROOM!
The force of the blow knocks the Silver Surfer from his board, but likewise shatters the stone head of the Asgardian hammer. Perhaps the barer was no long worthy...

Landing hard on the apocalyptic street level below, the harbinger from space finds himself with many more abominations to contend with.

Colonel America leads the charge, promising double rations to the man or woman who makes the kill. Something easier said than done. The Vulture and Moon Knight each take the brunt of cosmic blasts, followed by Namor, and Falcon.

Charging through some of the other street level characters, Wolverine declares his intentions, but is quickly embarrassed.
The mutant takes a swipe with his adamantium claws, but while the skeleton is willing, the flesh is weak. His claws and forearm tear straight through his failing skin and flesh as he strikes the Surfer's sturdy chest.

With his healing factor unable to fight the decomposition, and no ligaments to contain his adamantium laced bones, Wolverine trims the fat. With his good arm, he slices away at the exposed bones and ragged edges of torn skin and muscle.
At this time, he feels a tap at his ankle.

The upper torso of Iron Man asks Wolverine for a lift, and with his one good arm, he's all too happy to oblige a fastball special.

Iron Man hurtles through the falling and fighting bodies of Speedball, Ghost Rider, Deadpool and others, as Gambit's disembodied head floats across the battlefield. Giant-Man arrives from his lab in time to witness the slaughter, and remains content to hideout in the shadows of the alleyways for the time being.

Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Bruce Banner and Spider-man are both carrying prominent injuries. Banner, with a hole in his gut, feels the hunger gnawing, while Spidey metaphorically gnaws at himself, relieving his body of a useless, dangling leg. By then, Banner is no more, and Hulk has entered the fight.

Don't make him hungry. You wouldn't like him when he's hungry!

The Surfer continues to expell his energies, fending off the never-ending physical onslaught of the zombie armada.

Beast, Black Bolt and others are tossed aside as the rampaging Hulk charges at the first signs of food! He snatches the Surfer from Beast's grip, and scoops him up valiantly in a cradle, declaring "the silver man" as his.

The Surfer has other ideas, firing off a double barrelled blast of cosmic energy at point blank. The gambit is enough to free him from the green goliath's grip, and gives him an opportunity to reunite with his surfboard.

With Colonel America and others in pirsuit, it is again the Hulk who gets the benefit of the alien. Hulk's mighty leap sees him landing atop the chrome herald, forcing them again away from the intergalactic surfboard.

Furious about the damage suffered at the Surfer's blast; a charred face Hulk, seething with strength, guarantees the Silver Surfer regret his resistence.

The Hulk's teeth and jaws prove powerful enough to penetrate the Silver Surfer's hardy exterior. He crunches down, biting the head off like a crazed rockstar.
The cosmic energies housed within spew forth from both the Hulk's mouth, and the gaping neck of the gleeming herald to Galactus.

Giant-Man steps out of the shadows to give Iron Man and Spidey a helping hand toward the feeding. Thor, Wolverine, Powerman and Colonel America are all quick to get their fill, before having the torn body snatched away by Giant-Man.

As things start to get nasty amongst the squabbling zombies, Colonel America makes the discovery that they have inherited some of the Surfer's power by feasting on his chromed flesh. He does so by blasting Beast's objecting head off.

The hammer...
Is there any way being eaten could make you the victor? With the killing blow struck by the Hulk, I declare the Marvel Zombies victorious! Assists for all, with Hulk picking up the kill!

I've probably gone a bit generous on this one. There were a few characters thrown in there getting the assist who really weren't seen to be all that effective. Crystal shows up for a single panel, as best as I can recall at 2:30am.
There's some implication that Gambit is about to do something pretty spectacular, but the biggest scenes for the Cajun are being blasted through the chest, and his decapitated head being thrown across the background.

Still, I guess thems the breaks when we dare to do these BIG superhero battles on Secret Earths. They're usually a bit of fun to read, but when it comes to recapping and judging, it can be a bit of a pain in the ol' arse, if I may say so.

A lot of love being thrown the Marvel Zombies way again with the recent Army of Darkness vs Marvel Zombies mini-series.
I haven't had the chance to pick up any issues yet, but I do have one distinct problem with the project. No, it's not the longevity of the concept, and it isn't anything to do with burning sacred cows. It's the longterm logic of it.

As near as I can tell, the series is set before this particular mini we reviewed here today [Marvel Zombies], but that means Ash and the Army of Darkness intellectual properties, rights and trademarks are being tied into something that will inevitably outlast any agreement between the involved parties.
So not only do you have a concept from an unrelated medium impeding on proceedings, but there's the real likelihood that it will prevent any canonical reference to this period of the past.

Of course, I might be scaremongering there. It might not really matter, and certainly for the on-going adventures of the Marvel Zombies, I can't imagine it will. I'm very much looking forward to the upcoming storyarc with Black Panther and the new Fantastic Four.

Dramatic resonances of the Black Panther involvement aside [BP is a surviving human in Marvel Zombies], I just think it's a nice change of pace to be seeing quirky concepts like this being drifted toward the 'serious' business.
It could very easily overstay it's welcome, and cross into in-your-face mundanity, but for the time being I watch with interest.

On another related note -- if you backtrack through the downing of what went, you'll notice during Thor's moment of glory I made reference to Mjolnir.
The hammer explodes upon impact with the Surfer, which isn't really what Mjolnir is known for in the regular universe, so it potentially answers a question I would have asked: -- Is zombie Thor still worthy of lifting the enchanted hammer?

I guess you could theorize that deep-down he is worthy, and that the spell is somewhat robotic or mechanical in it's determination. You could extrapolate to come up with some sort of meta-mystic theory that the hammer shattered because it was weakened byproxy by the infection.
Or you could just say it was a fun moment, with a bit of creative oversight.

Certainly, despite an upcoming prequel, the series does not feel like something carefully crafted and built atop lengthy planning. Which is where some of my concerns for the Zombies franchise enter the picture, but we'll burn it as it comes.

Ah, we can also harken back to a discussion had previously [What if...? #24], where I asked how Wolverine, healing factor and all, could be infected to begin with. Apparently the proposition here is that the zombie infection has simply overpowered his regenerative capabilities.
It's a simple solution, but I can't help but think it isn't what I'd go with...

Well, it's getting late and I'm probably minutes away from getting incoherrent, so I'll wrap it up here. Stay tuned for next week when we wrap up with a MAJOR finale for What If Wednesdays, and fight out where we're going next in the May Punch-Up! Cheers!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 5.5

THE X-MEN versus MAGNETO
Fatal Attractions: Dreams Fade (Marvel comics)
Where: X-Men #25 When: October 1993
Why: Fabian Nicieza How: Andy Kubert

The story so far...
Growing ever tired of the struggle between human and mutant, Magneto declares himself and his intentions to the X-Men at the funeral of Illyana Rasputin. It is here that Colossus shocks his colleagues by defecting.

More powerful than ever, and intent on ending his war with humanity, Magneto poses a greater threat than ever before. With that in mind, the world initiates the Magneto protocols in an attempt to exile him from the Earth.

A net is relayed around the globe, designed to affect Magneto's powers within the electromagnetic field of the Earth. Magneto penetrates it, and bathes much of the world in a technology destroying pulse.
His hand forced, Professor Xavier forms a crack team to infiltrate Magneto's stronghold, and put an end to their feud once and for all.

Previous Form:
X-Men: The X-Men have had several victories against Nimrod, Wolverine and Magneto.
Magneto (#184): Magneto was previously unsuccessful in an attempt to recruit Namor, and defeat the X-Men.
Professor X (#177): Xavier was also unsuccesful in recruiting Namor.
Wolverine (#4): Wolverine has had various victories, including matching the Invaders.

Tale of the tape...
Strength: Rogue 6 (Invincible)
Intelligence: Professor X (Professor)
Speed: Quicksilver 6 (Sound Speed)
Stamina: Wolverine 6 (Generator)
Agility: Gambit 3 (Acrobat)
Fighting Ability: Wolverine 6 (Warrior)
Energy Powers: Magneto 6 (Mass Destruction)

We just dealt with Magneto in the previous post, but there's certainly a recognisable difference. Some thirty years later, Magneto has become a much more powerful and sure character than he was. At this point in time Magneto is a threat on a global scale, and believing himself to be every bit the mutant messiah he has professed to hapless followers.

Also unlike the previous entry, Magneto stands alone against the X-Men.
As part of their covert entry onto the Avalon orbital fortress, the X-Men use Magneto's own teleportation systems to clear the station of his Acolyte soldiers. Among those removed is Exodus, Magneto's greatest follower.

The team of X-Men chosen for the mission are an interesting crew: Wolverine and Gambit are selected for their stealth; Quicksilver and Rogue provide speed, strength, and also an emotional string to pull at Magneto; and finally Jean Grey and Professor Xavier himself pose a psychic strikeforce.
Professor X is mobile by means of a Shi'Ar exoskeleton that is controlled by his own staggering mental will. It is a great drain, thus necessitating Jean's presence.

Cyclops, Storm and other X-Men are overlooked because their talents are inappropriate for a space station, and also because the Professor desires a strong voice for the next generation to remain behind. Yes, this is where things get serious. Even the Professor doesn't expect to come back.

So, in a vaccuum, who would win such a match?
Magneto has proven over time that he can be more than a match for any collection of foes. The breadth of his abilities allow him considerable defensive advantage against any army, and given the presence of magnetic materials throughout the globe, most battlefields present a ready-made arsenal, assuming he doesn't just feel like taking you outside the Earth's atmosphere.

With the reality of these stories, the X-Men will likely at least hold Magneto to a stalemate. The Professor's presence alone has to be considered a great equalizer for the X-Men, as his presence usually delays Magneto's will to inflict lasting injury.

It's really a tough call. On any given day it could go either way.
I think for my taste, the numbers have to be what tips it in the favour of the X-Men, but Magneto is a helluva tough customer. On paper, he's pretty tough to beat.

Average: Magneto 28 (+5.5)
Overall: The X-Men (+106)
The Pick: The X-Men

What went down...
The suicide mission sees minor resistance from former students, before the mass evacuation of the base. It is this that alerts Magneto to the presence of the infiltrators, and with a wall tearing blast of magnetic energy, he is there.

Wolverine is the first X-Man up, leaping into the fray with little regard for his own safety. His attack provides as much an offensive play, as an opportunity for his allies to regroup. Unfortunately for Wolvie, his claw points are moot.
"Ah, Logan... We dance the dance again and again... And you've never learned the steps very well, have you?"

Jean and the Professor unite to prepare a psychic attack against Magneto's own mental defenses, while the other X-Men enter the battle. Gambit's kinetically charged cards provide the lapse needed for the two psychics to break through.

While he batters the Cajun with shrapnel, Xavier and Grey penetrate the recesses of Magneto's mind. Sifting through the darkest memories and greatest failures of the self professed mutant savior, they find fact and fiction merged.

With the inner battle raging, Rogue leaps into battle knocking Magneto upside the head, and the personal attacks continue. His own son, Quicksilver, speeds into the picture rocking his father with a devestating uppercut.

Magneto quickly retards his son's attack, but his steely will was inhereted by Pietro Maximoff. Even frozen to the spot, Quicksilver remains defiant until the psychic war waging within again provides a lapse in Magneto's concentration, granting Quicksilver an opportunity to strike with a fierce headbutt.

A furious father lashes out at such a betrayal, tossing his son with unbridled magnetic blasts. Driven to apparent madness, Magneto demands the death of his own blood.

Lurking in the shadows, Wolverine prepares to make another attack.

Wolverine throws himself at his foe. While reruns of betrayal tear at Magneto's psyche, Wolverine tears the fabric from Magneto's chest with his deadly adamantium claws.

"Any man who'd try an' kill his own son deserves no less."
Wolverine's declaration of intent wrenches Jean Grey from her telepathic assault, as she pleads for the greater good. Xavier desperately calls her back to his aid as he struggles with the exertion of his exoskeleton.

The brief pause presumably gives Magneto the clarity to gather himself, inspite of injury, to throw one final attack at the Wolverine. One final gesture designed not just to clear the deck, but to finish the game once and for all.

"... It begins with a small tug -- An almost gentle pull -- A harder yank -- Then a wrench tear --"

In one of the darkest moments in X-Men history, the adamantium that famously laced Wolverine's skeleton leeches outward, tearing through flesh and skin.
Jean Grey cannot maintain her concentration, as she joins the other horrified X-Men.

Xavier on the other hand maintains his hand, attacking with new resolve.
He clutches Magneto by the collar and poors outward the emotion of decades, and with that, unleashes a psychic attack unparalleled.

In that one briefest of moments, Xavier can take no more, and while he will not kill, there is an alternative for one of his talent.
He reaches deep into his old friend's mind and clutches not at bitter truths, nor does he flashcard moments of failure or defeat. He simply summons his great power, and ensures that Magneto will never, ever kill again.

With his mind erased, Magneto staggers forward and as his eyes go blank, he utters his final words; "Char--les... I never thought... You would..."

The exertion of wiping Magneto's mind clean leaves Xavier unable to control his Shi'Ar suit any longer. He joins Magneto, tumbling downward to the floor.

Colossus comes to his new master's aid.
He pledges himself to the well being of Magneto, hoping to do for him what he could not for his sister. Colossus reveals his responsibility in blinding censors of the X-Men's incursion, he also informs them that he called Bishop to come to their aid.

With that, the X-Men leave.

The hammer...
If there is a winner here, it's Professor Xavier, although as many readers know, this isn't the end for Magneto, or the Professor.

Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld have teamed again ten years later to produce Onslaught Reborn, a story detailing the return of the creature called Onslaught.

For those who came in late Onslaught directly ties to this Fatal Attrations issue, as a psychic manifestation of Professor Xavier's guilt and negativity, largely for what he did to Magneto here. This is the reason for Onslaught's appearance, which resembles quite obviously a distorted image of Magneto.

This is actually one of my favourite X-Men stories.
I think the X-Men in particular have been involved in many events of scope, and dealt with many tragedies, but in a lot of ways I think this is the one that stands out as being when things got really serious.

There's a sombre tone to this story that dances somewhere between the grim hard reality of the story, and the bright spandex of the Jim Lee defined characters. Stories had dealt with this tone before, and they've certainly done so after, but there's just something about Fatal Attractions that resonates to me.

I think perhaps it's largely due to the fact that two franchise players are dealt hefty blows. Yes, Jean Grey died at the end of the Phoenix saga, but even at her height Jean Grey can't compare in monetary value and status to Wolverine and Magneto.

Certainly the imagery in the issue that followed [Wolverine #75] cannot be denied. If you thought seeing the adamantium being ripped from Wolverine's body was an awe inspiring sight, then you clearly haven't seen the first time he popped the raw bone claws. Wow!
Despite it's flippant subject matter, that's some pretty gorey, surprising stuff!

Not being a huge X-fan is probably what has facilitated these last couple of entries, and I must confess that you can probably expect at least one more X-Men feature in December's updates.
As over saturated as they may have become, the X-Men still possess some of the most compelling and enjoyable characters in comics. Their stable of heroes and villains is unparalleled, and it's nice to have that touch of diversity.

Anyway, we're at January 12 right now.
Slowly but surely catching up! Thanks for the patience, guys!

The Fight: 5 The Issue: 6