QUEEN AYNOS versus SONYA BLADE
Kombat Zones (Malibu/Midway)
Where: Mortal Kombat: Blood & Thunder #4 When: October 1994 Why: Charles Marshall How: Patrick Rolo

The Story So Far...
Once every generation an ancient martial arts tournament gathers the greatest warriors to defend the Earthrealm from the invading forces of Outworld. This dark dimension is ruled by the tyrant emperor, Shao Kahn, whose insatiable apetite for conquest seems endless.

The sorcerer, Shang Tsung, ensures the presence of a variety of warriors at the tenth, and potentially final, Mortal Kombat tournament, luring many with opportunities of personal glory and vengeance before their battle with reigning champion, Goro. Sonya Blade is one such fighter, whose pursuit of underworld figure, Kano, sees her boldly storming the vessel to Shang Tsung's island.

There, she encounters Liu Kang and Johnny Cage; other warriors chosen to defend Earthrealm by Tsung and the protectoral god of Earth, Raiden.
Shortly after the tournament begins, Shang Tsung's plans for victory see him ambushing the various warriors of Earth, all part of a plot to unlock the mystical powers of an ancient book called the Tao Te Zhan. This breach of protocol allows Raiden to interfere on the benefit of his warriors, allowing them to escape into the wastelands of Outworld.

Tale of the Tape...
Strength: Johnny Cage 3 (Athlete)
Intelligence: Sonya Blade 4 (Tactician)
Speed: Draw 3 (Athlete)
Stamina: Draw 4 (Athlete)
Agility: Draw 4 (Gymnast)
Fighting Ability: Draw 5 (Martial Artist)
Energy Power: Sonya Blade 4 (Arsenal)


- 1992's Mortal Kombat established many new tropes in the one-on-one beat 'em up fighting genre. Among it's popular influences on the vernacular was the concept of the "mirror match," an attempt to lend some assemblence of logic to the game's potential to pit the same fighter against themselves in combat. While subsequent games dropped the specific event, the first boasted a mirror match in the final stages of it's arcade tournament ladder.

Malibu's licensed comics incorporated the mirror match concept into it's narrative version of the Mortal Kombat story.
Queen Aynos is a none-too-subtle mirror of Sonya Blade, a tribal queen of Outworld who not only possesses many of the same abilities, but even dresses identical to the Special Forces fighter. She rules over a race of purple troll-like warriors.

- Lieutenant Sonya Blade is a dedicated member of an American Special Forces unit tasked with dismantling the ancient criminal organization, the Black Dragon clan. This mission becomes Sonya's sole driving purpose when Kano, leader of the clan, is responsible for the murder of her partner and several other ambushed operatives with the Special Forces. Her pursuit leads her to take chase onto the Nethership, which ferrys warriors to the hidden island of Shang Tsung, where mortals do battle to defend the Earth from the forces of Outworld.

Thus, Sonya is dragged into a battle not only for revenge, but for the fate of the world. Joining Johnny Cage, and eventual tournament winner, Liu Kang; Sonya becomes embroiled with Earth's chosen warriors, to the point of being captured by Shao Kahn's forces when Shang Tsung's island crumbles after his defeat.
The event forces a brief alliance with Kano and familiarizes Sonya with the ream of Outworld, which, upon her rescue, would become the domain of her and her partner, Jax, as founding members of the secret government exploratory division, the Outer World Investigation Agency.

Sonya is a highly trained operative of the Special Forces, skilled in the martial arts and tactical procedures of urban warfare and hand-to-hand combat. Her role with the military and OIA grants her access to an arsenal of weaponry, as well as her own ability to harness her chi to inflict energy based attacks.

Math: Sonya Blade Ranking: Sonya Blade (#92)

What Went Down...
Deviating substantially from the established canon of the brand; Malibu's Mortal Kombat tournament is halted after the disappearance of Goro, and the escape of the briefly entrapped Earthrealm warriors. Scattered across Outworld in their escape by Raiden, the fighters attempt to regroup and find their way home.

Stumbling across the wastelands of Outworld, Johnny Cage comes across a small village ruled by a warrior Queen identical to Sonya Blade. When Cage makes the mistake of kissing the Queen, she launches an assault on the unsuspecting actor, but he soon finds himself rescued by the real deal.

Sonya attracts the attentions of Queen Aynos with a rock and confronts her mirror head-on. The two share a brief exchange of words, before the Queen launches the first attack, striking with a kick that Sonya promptly blocks.

The Special Forces trained fighter lets her fist provide the reply, springing out of the defensive into a stiff right hook. She ducks a roundhouse kick and takes full advantage, striking her embattled doppelganger in the back of the skull.

A charged kick to the head finishes Queen Aynos off, prompting her to call the aid of her tribal warriors. Numerical advantage lets the purple men take Sonya and Johnny Cage hostages, positioned to suffer a kiss of death energy ball from their Queen. Cage and Blade prove agile enough to evade their captors and leap free, leaving the blast to decimate Aynos' own forces!

Alone against the combined might of the Earth warriors, the Queen knows her fate, seeing it come in the form of a double teamed flying kick!
With the Queen defeated, the two fighters are able to deduce their locale, no longer on Shang Tsung's island as they had believed. Together, they trek into the unknown! "... I'd say that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

The Hammer...
Johnny Cage picks up the assist, but in this mirror match, the winner is Sonya Blade!
For those playing along at home, there are still a couple of other battles from this issue that will be revisited sometime in the future as part of another quick fix megamix!

By the wonders of being extremely late, you'll probably have already read our brief MKvsDCU one-on-one with Jimmy Palmiotti! For those of you still chomping at the bit for more MKvsDCU, we've got another Q&A discussion coming up, this time with the writers behind the MK portions of the game! So stay tuned!

If you've recently come out of a coma, or for some reason, aren't a regular reader of the Infinite Wars, you might like to know that November will see the release of the shock crossover video game - Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe.
Over the past few months we've done our darndest to help broker an understanding between the two universes, and if you're still unsure, you can check back through our plethora of fantasy match-ups: rounds one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. If that isn't enough for you, there's also our bonus round addendum posts that feature one, two, three, and four rounds of extra glimpses into the DCU, and the special decyphering of clues that may or may not have done well to allude to the cast of the DC roster.

Top 25 Femme Fatales
#1 Invisible Woman (Marvel)
#2 Catwoman (DC)
#3 Storm (Marvel)
#4 Rogue (Marvel)
#5 Wonder Woman (DC)
#6 Wasp (Marvel)
#7 Zatanna (DC)
#8 Elektra (Marvel)
#9 Kitty Pryde (Marvel)
#10 Hawkgirl (DC)
#11 Tara (Marvel)
#12 Spitfire (Marvel)
#13 Hellcat (Marvel)
#14 R. Mika (Capcom)
#15 Phoenix (Marvel)
#16 Black Cat (Marvel)
#17 Black Canary (DC)
#18 Sonya Blade (Midway)
#19 Black Widow (Marvel)
#20 Lyja (Marvel)
#21 Tabitha Stevens (Marvel)
#22 She-Thing (Marvel)
#23 Powergirl (DC)
#24 Stargirl (DC)
#25 Sayd (DC)Today our focus is on Sonya Blade, a character whose course as an iconic MK female has been tumultuous, to say the least. Sonya's inclusion in MKvsDCU has been well received, but the ebbing flow of perception within the fanbase hasn't always looked as favourably, as is now being felt by her male counterpart, Jax.

As the only female presence in the original 1992 game; Sonya carried less responsibility as a female icon, and more as the representation of the genre stalwart of a cop seeking revenge for the death of a partner.
It was probably this incidental treatment of gender that made Sonya and instantly accessible and admirable inclusion into the tradition of the gaming female that was jump started by characters like Chun-Li.

Sonya's personal vendetta against Kano successfully transitioned to the big screen when Bridgette Wilson took up the role for 1995's, Mortal Kombat.
It was arguably here that the attitude of the character was solidified in a film that's still regarded by many as one of the greatest representations of a game-to-movie adaptation. The success of the film and characterization of Sonya, however, was not without it's drawbacks.

The mid-nineties had not yet seen the violent franchise fully develop it's ironic relationship with death, prompting widespread speculation (and petitioning) for the character's death circa Mortal Kombat 4. The heart of the issue: a stagnant plotline that had carried from the apparently dead Kano, to new character, Jarek.

Initially one of the least popular characters in arcades; Sonya was pushed aside for the first Mortal Kombat sequel, appearing only as a cameo character shackled in one of the arena backgrounds along with arch-rival, Kano.
Ironically, despite being one the only original character not to return playable in the sequel - Sonya's demotion to cameo sponsored a fever pitched interest in the character which made her one of the first confirmed for 1995's, Mortal Kombat 3.

The drop off came with the fourth instalment of the series and the subsequent Special Forces spin-off exclusive to the Playstation, which, due to extenuating circumstances, was conceptually aborted, leaving Jax to inherit much of the story that would have been shared with, or exclusive to, Sonya.

This redundancy of plot, particularly once shared between the two law enforcement protagonists, was understandably responsible for a negative shift in the perception of Sonya as a character. While Jax established new key plot and rivalries with 2002's relaunch title, Deadly Alliance; Sonya was still to be identified by her interchangable rivalries with criminals.

If any criticisms can be made of MKvsDCU as the first step into this generation of gaming, it's the continued stagnancy of the characters and their development.
2006's much maligned compilation game, Armageddon, hampered the individual progress of plotlines, but the central story deserves credit for grafting a new era onto the adventures of the Special Forces. This renewed potential came from the expansion of Sektor as a villain, who now represents a Matrix-esque threat of technological ego with his expanding army of Tekunin cybernetic warriors.

MKvsDCU - despite being removed from and having no known interactions with the central canon - draws specific inspiration from the unversally praised MKII era of the series. In doing so it attempts to match-up with the broad iconography of the DC characters, who will enter the game with the weight of their long printed histories, but not with any specific frame of reference. One wonders if this isn't a discredit to the MK portion of the game, which does not have the dense characterization that implies a continuity-free appearance for the licensed characters.

MKvsDCU essentially takes place on MK's home turf, and after Armageddon's vague conclusion, the opportunity to insert an unlikely crossover into the central plot was better than ever. We'll be asking the MK team what their motivations were for removing the game, but one assumes the meta response would simply be that it's conventional wisdom. The constraints of licensed properties means lasting effects from crossover stories are rare, but not without example.

Comics fans can look to crossovers like the original Spawn/Batman for a very specific model that might have done more for the MK franchise. In the hellacious meeting, a batarang lodged in Spawn's face led to a new instalment in the character's iconography, leading to the affectionately known shoestring face.

Future references to Superman or Batman might be unlikely, but the opportunity to develop the MK story and characters remains. Characters could very naturally develop through the usual channels of individual arcade endings, if not vague elements from the DC crossover story mode. Specifics aside, even interactions with DC's well established criminal underworld (ie; Gotham rogues) might have been the perfect opportunity to develop reference to Sonya as a character, broadening her associations beyond Kano and comparable facsimiles.

Needless to say, Sonya's brief appearances in the Malibu comics did very little to expand appreciation of the character. Comics will be another subject we breach when the Infinite Wars goes one-on-one with the MK team! In the mean time, we look forward to new reveals from the game, and the "80% of the game" we have no knowledge of!

The Fight: 4 The Issue: 3

Can't stand the thought of missing out on Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe upon release? Amazon have the game available for pre-order, or, if you fancy a John Tobias comic, t-shirt, and cell, you can pre-order the Kollector's Edition for either Playstation 3 or Xbox 360. Hey, by using links provided on the Infinite Wars, you help sponsor future kombat, like the other MK reviews you'll find in the Secret Archives! Outstanding!

IN STORES: AUGUST 13, 2008
You can probably find complete shipping list updates on most major comics sites. Consider this an opportunity to either do all your info-shopping in the one place, or get a speculative perspective on what might be worth checking out. These are untested reads. Secret Wars on Infinite Earths can offer no guarantee or endorsement of quality. These are simply titles that may be of potential interest. Some items may ship late.

The Infinite Wars now has a gift shop!
Now you'll find Amazon purchase links to hardcovers, trade paperbacks, and other collections, not only on regular entries -- but also new releases at the bottom of the Shipping List, and now a whole catalogue of potential purchases via the Infinite Wars: Amazonian Gift Shop. [Men are also welcome!] By shopping with Amazon via our purchase links, you not only find yourself a great deal, but also sponsor future entries on the Infinite Wars.

READ THE PREVIEW - VISIT THE SITE - BUY THE COMIC
Thin and Crispy...
JUN080210 ACTION COMICS #868 $2.99
JUN084181 ATOMIC ROBO DOGS OF WAR #1 (OF 5) $2.95
MAY080159 BATMAN #679 RIP $2.99
JUN080205 BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #20 $2.99
JUN082363 CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #4 SI $2.99
JUN080218 CHECKMATE #29 $2.99
MAY082270 FANTASTIC FOUR #559 $2.99
JUN080179 FINAL CRISIS REVELATIONS #1 (OF 5) $3.99
APR082195 FIREBREATHER SERIES #2 $2.99
JUN082222 FRANK FRAZETTAS DRACULA MEETS THE WOLF-MAN $3.99
JUN080086 GOON #27 $2.99
JUN080223 GREEN ARROW BLACK CANARY #11 $2.99
JUN082401 PUNISHER #60 (MR) $2.99
JUN082346 SECRET INVASION #5 (OF 8) SI $3.99
JUN082354 SECRET INVASION THOR #1 (OF 3) SI $2.99
JUN082355 SECRET INVASION X-MEN #1 (OF 4) SI $2.99
JUN080176 TRINITY #11 $2.99
JUN080232 WONDER WOMAN #23 $2.99

The Deep Dish...
- JUN080263 BATMAN STRIKES #48 $2.25
With a plot dangerously similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger's schemes in the 1997 flop, Batman and Robin; this issue of The Batman Strikes! isn't going out of it's way to make friends!
Based on the current cartoon series which seems to be growing disturbingly popular with this generation's youth; the issue starts on the back foot, associated with the series' seperatist interpretations of many classic Batman characters.
For it's many frustrating faults, it's fair to say there's a handful of positives to be found in the edgy new(ish) toon, making select outings with the comic series worth a look. All of this is really just a long way of saying: Green Lantern and Batman teaming up to stop Mr. Freeze's sub-zero satellite sounds like a lot of fun!

- JUN080216 BOOSTER GOLD #11 $2.99
Chuck Dixon steps into a pretty big shadow when he takes on the fan wank that is Booster Gold (title). For all intents and purposes this sounds like a very fun issue that dives, once again, into the history of the Bat-corner of the DCU. Under ordinary circumstances I would get a huge kick out of this, but in this modern age of internet and instant gratification, I find my tolerance for overblown internet memes growing increasingly minor. Adopting morts in an ironic dose of tongue-in-cheek humor is always going to have it's place, but with so many blogs doing it these days, it just hasn't the same impact.
I don't want to be a curmudgeon. Booster Gold undercover as Killer Moth to fix a glitch in the timestream is nice enough. It's just that I'm getting a headache from all the involuntary eye rolling. And just to prove I don't hate Killer Moth or fun: Appreciate and Preserve!

- JUN080080 BPRD THE WARNING #2 (OF 5) $2.99
- JUN080081 HELLBOY THE CROOKED MAN #2 (OF 3) $2.99
Fans of the film might be encouraged to check out the latest Hellboy mini-series, but if you enjoyed new inclusions like Johann Kraus, BPRD might be more to the flavour you're seeking. While the hornless Hellboy rarely appears, if at all, don't let the absence of the star fool you into thinking the BPRD series are B-tier material. Over the past year a regular release schedule has seen some great stories unfold in a familiar - but different - Mignola style!

- JUN080220 GREEN LANTERN CORPS #27 $2.99
Drop the boy, drop the boy! I'm the man, yes I am!
Whoops! Note-to-self: Luke Ross on pencils. Luke Ross!
This one sounds like a whole lot of foreshadowing as Peter Tomasi brings us the grand opening of a new Warrior bar, and warnings from beyond the grave! Saarek, a Green Lantern who can hear the dead, seems to think the passed are getting restless -- a precursor to Blackest Night and the promised 2009 introduction of the undead Black Lanterns, to be sure! Can't wait!

- JUN082335 LAST DEFENDERS #6 (OF 6) $2.99
Please, please, please, please remember to protect the trademark, Marvel!
I don't think I could bare the thought of a Marvel Universe without any ragtag team-ups in their future! Come on! The Defenders are an institution, people! This cannot be the last of it!

- JUN082338 MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #14 $2.99
The Marvel Adventures office are back on track with classic comics, this time pitting the incredible Hulk against a classic Fantastic Four nemesis! No problem, right? Wrong!!!
Everybody knows the Hulk gets his strength from his mindless rages, but when he's sucked into the Microverse, he'll hope that news hasn't travelled too far! Hulk's going up against the Psycho-Man, a man who can manipulate his emotions and take away his anger! Uh-oh!

- JUN082339 MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #42 $2.99
Not quite getting enough out of your Marvel Adventures stack?
How about another serve of classic conundrums as Spidey finds himself in a tangle between the Black Cat and Puma! Those still reeling from the outrage of Brand New Day can find some measure of calm in the classic antics of the Marvel Adventures books!

- JUN082381 PUNISHER KILLS MARVEL UNIVERSE $4.99
What part of Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe don't you understand?

- JUN082353 SECRET INVASION INHUMANS #1 (OF 4) SI $2.99
I don't know what the creative team of Joe Pokaski and Tom Raney does for you, but even if you're finding yourself bored to tears with Secret Invasion, this four-issue mini might be worth checking out. The Inhumans aren't especially inviting as stars of a series, but each series has a way of being a bit of a hidden gem, so you might like to get in early on this one!
We learnt of Black Bolt's replacement in the pages of New Avengers: Illuminati, but now the hunt is on to discover the true whereabouts of the Inhuman monarch! If he turns up dead, I wonder if this means Medusa might think about checking out what Captain Britain has to offer... Hey, why not? Plundering Alex Ross alternate Earths has worked out pretty good for DC!


Know Your Trade...
JUN084467 BOYS OF STEEL THE CREATORS OF SUPERMAN YR HC $16.99
APR084083 JUDGE DREDD COMPLETE CASE FILES TP VOL 10 $31.00
MAR080185 JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL HC VOL 02 $24.99
JUN082427 MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK TP VOL 03 STRONGEST DIGEST $7.99
MAY080220 MILLENNIUM TP $19.99
JUN082442 NEW X-MEN BY MORRISON ULTIMATE COLL TP BOOK 02 $34.99
MAY080207 ROBIN YEAR ONE TP NEW PTG $14.99
JUN082443 SPIDER-MAN TP KRAVENS LAST HUNT $14.99
JUN082422 THUNDERBOLTS BY ELLIS PREM HC VOL 02 CAGED ANGELS $19.99

EYE ON: INFINITE WARS of the 1st OLYMPIAD!
Top 25 National Flag Bearers
#1 Batman (United States)
#2 Wolverine (Canada)
#3 Black Adam (Khandaq)
#4 Sub-Mariner (Atlantis)
#5 Ryu (Japan)
#6 Thor (Asgard)
#7 Storm (Wakanda)
#8 Goro (Outworld)
#9 Noob Saibot (China)
#10 Dhalsim (India)
#11 The Phantom (Bangalla)
#12 Wonder Woman (Themyscira)
#13 Dr. Doom (Latveria)
#14 Elektra (Greece)
#15 The Demon (Hell)
#16 Union Jack (Britain)
#17 Batroc (France)
#18 The Spectre (Heavens)
#19 Sagat (Thailand)
#20 Fei Long (Hong Kong)
#21 Colossus (Russia)
#22 Black Bolt (Attilan)
#23 Sunspot (Brazil)
#24 Rose (Italy)
#25 Champion (Ancrido Nebula)In a world of champions, who goes for gold?
The heroes and villains of the Infinite Wars clash for medals in sports from the Summer Olympic Games!

Ladies and gentlemen, rejoice!
Mesdames et messieurs, célèbrent svp!

Delays have meant we're running a little too late to be topical, but we ask that you summon what's left of your olympic spirit, because before the Paralympics, there is to be another special event..!
Nous courons tard et ne pouvons pas être des nouvelles. Veuillez rassembler votre esprit olympique. Avant le Paralympics il y aura un événement spécial différent!

To celebrate the planet's greatest, most prolific sporting event, we're here to witness the world warriors of the comic book universes, pitted against one another in Olympic sporting competition.
Bonnes périodes, bonnes périodes, - fade - fade fade. Viva le Batroc! Le sauteur rendra la France fière comme il détruit vos champions faibles. Le Now est l'heure pour que la France monte. Vous ne nous déferez pas. Le sauteur donnera un coup de pied vos dents dans vos anus. Nous vous raillerons avec le rire. Fade fade en compétition sportive.

Numerical superiority means the Americans are almost assured competition victory, but then, the overall winner is never the real story of an Olympic games!
It's the courage of the individuals who combine to make a team. It's the success stories of competitors like Goro, who will leave behind wartorn Outworld to represent the ever changing boundaries of his homeworld in the wrestling.
These Olympics are about the changing zeitgeist of nations, reflecting shifts in representation, like Storm, who has joined Black Panther's tiny Wakandan team to be their flag bearer. Or what about Kal-El? The immigrant who became America's favourite son? Gee, that's special!
Goro est un oaf armé par quatre. Superman est le stupidest de eux tous. Ils manquent de la compétence qui assure Batroc; victoire de s. Superman peut des édifices hauts de saut de "dans un simple bondir" et Goro peut faire déplacer son "le transport frappent du pied" mais ni l'un ni l'autre ne peuvent prétendre être l'un sauteur vrai!

No Olympics is with out it's scandals, though.
The issue looming over this first Infinite Wars Olympics is the unsanctioned attrocities of the Skrulls. Their indiscretions have seen the alien race banned from competition this year, but this doesn't seem to have deterred their attacks on the Marvel Universe. We don't like to dwell on the negatives, but this will be the unfortunate footnote of these Infinite Wars Games.
Seulement un Américain d'idiot confierait à ses mots à un traducteur d'Internet. C'est comment Batroc fera des imbéciles de vous. Vous êtes des imbéciles. Stupide!

Cheer on your favourites, your countrymen, and your underdogs in this arbitrary distraction of thematics. Recount their successes as you tally the potential points you'll earn in the Fantasy League. We've talked at length about the world stage of the superheroes, but the time has come for battle: Commencez!
Un homme si stupide. Pourquoi parle-t-il tellement au sujet de ce non-sens? Je souhaite... Oh, Non! Je suis découvert! J'abandonne! J'abandonne!


Swimming Gold: Sub-Mariner (Atlantis)
Real Name: [Namor McKenzie]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#15]
Year One: [1939] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Aquaman] Bronze: [Attuma]

The Podium!
We start proceedings in the pool, and what a beginning it is!
Beijing 2008 might be remembered for Michael Phelps' record setting eight gold medals in the water cube, but in the Infinite Wars, acquatic dominance is the domain of Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner!

Aquaman broke barriers of life, death, and our unwritten rule to exclude inactive characters, only to bring home an admirable silver. Hoping to debunk popular theory that he's utterly usless, the other Atlantean monarch took great delight in bringing home the silver, but then, doesn't that just reinforce the point?

Sure, Aquaman can swim a good race, but when it comes to the crunch, where is he? When the cheque arrives, Aquaman makes a beeline for the bathroom, not to hide, but to find the nearest available water source to recover from the cost. Finger food was on the menu, and the recipe was AM's one good hand!

While they were united in representing Atlantis, it didn't stop Aquaman launching an assault on the smug gold medalist, but guess what? In the Infinite Wars water collesium there's no whales to hear you scream! Shame, Aquaman. Shame! You're a disgrace to the League, and to the superhero fraternity. Maybe if you spent less time posing behind Wonder Woman you'd be alive, and in possession of the gold! Get a catch phrase!

Archery Gold: Green Arrow (USA)
Real Name: [Oliver Queen]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#23]
Year One: [1939] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Red Arrow/Bullseye] Bronze: [Taskmaster/Hawkeye]

The Podium!
It wouldn't be an event without it's upsets!
Green Arrow shocks noone with his dominance in the archery, but the contested second and third spots may have produced the story of the games. While four seperate competitors bullseye their way to medals, it's Kate Bishop who rises to the challenge of meeting Taskmaster for bronze -- not Clint Barton!

The former Hawkeye turned Ronin proved unwilling to take up the bow and the many grim memories associated with it. This left his Young Avengers counterpart to steal the crumming glory along with Initiative Trainer, Taskmaster, whose observations of Barton contributed to his amazingly accurate archery!

Like Ronin, Green Arrow took up the sword in the last couple of years, but while his continued excellence in archery assured victory at these games, it's done little to settle the debate of which is the true superior! A question that seemed to linger over several competitors as former-Speedy, Red Arrow, put in a solid showing in the absence of his successor, Mia Dearden!

Boxing Gold: Champion of the Universe (Ancrido Nebula)
Real Name: [Tryco Slatterus]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#194]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Wildcat] Bronze: [Balrog]

The Podium!
The Infinite Wars Squared Circle was affectionately redubbed "the Slatter house" as Tryco Slatterus laid waste to any and all competitors who stepped into the ring with his power primordial!

Said to be one of the oldest beings in the universe; the Champion was completely mismatched against a host of victims that included; Moon Knight, Slam Bradley, and the Phantom!

Balrog got the Street Fighters excited with his heavy hitting medal performance, but even he proved completely insufficient against the cosmic powers of the Champion of the Universe!
It seems fair that an enquiry may be launched in the interim between this, and the next Infinite Wars Olympic Games, to determine whether a review of qualification practises may be required.

Infinite Wars superhero practises mean weight and sex classes are discounted in favour of pitting the pure powers of competitors against one and other. In theory we completely support this practise, but is the dominance of one competitor something to revile as a gross imbalance, or merely a feat to be praised?
When Jack Johnson enraged wowsers with his dominance of the sport, it became a competition to find opponents strong enough to beat the unbeatable. Is that not the very essence of the gentleman's games? Is this gladiatorial struggle not the very fabric by which we define our champions?

Cycling Gold: Ghost Rider (USA)
Real Name: [Johnny Blaze]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#53]
Year One: [1972] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Batman] Bronze: [The Knight]

The Podium!
In a year when The Dark Knight dominated theatre screens and entries in the Infinite Wars, it seemed all eyes were inevitably on the Batpod, but victory in the cycling was not to the Batman's to take! Despite controversy surrounding performance-enhancing demonic possession; Johnny Blaze was cleared to take the gold medal in what was ultimately a comfortable victory!

Batman's batpod competition ultimately proved to be his British counterpart, the Knight! Dedication and quality marked the big difference between the winners and the casual competitors who formed a pack just off the pace; Huntress, Robin, and Johnny Storm all valiant in their efforts.

The batpod looked sandwiched as the Dark Knight pushed his machine to the limits in what always boiled down to a three 'horse' race. The batpod tried desperately to match the relentless power of Ghost Rider's runaway hellcycle -- all the while fending off the pursuits of The Knight!

While the finish was ultimately somewhat predictable, it was exactly the kind of jostling the sport needed. Ghost Rider really represents the last of the seventies motorcycling champions, but we wonder if his performance and the mainstream attention of the Batpod might not turn things around.

Equestrian Gold: Valkyrie (Asgard)
Real Name: [Samantha Parrington]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#492]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Black Knight] Bronze: [Phantom]

The Podium!
Valkyrie may have been the first to bring home gold to the Asgards (to the chagrin of the Greeks), but her graceful riding of Aragorn was ironically dwarfed by Dane Whitman's silver winning return to prominence!

Whitman; better known to the world as Black Knight; had stayed in relative obscurity since his brief membership with the Heroes for Hire, but returned recently as an agent of MI5 in opposition to the Skrull invasion of Earth.
Whitman and Valkyrie share an interesting bond, being that it was he who gifted the white horse Aragorn to the Norse warrior. This familiarity, however, was not enough to shake the rust from Black Knight's armor.

Some parties felt the Phantom was unjustly cheated of points during his riding of the stallion, Hero. The Ghost Who Walks was nothing less than graceful in defeat, despite falling short. The chiefs of the Llongo tribe were soon calmed.

Fencing Gold: Nightcrawler (Germany)
Real Name: [Kurt Wagner]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#250]
Year One: [1975] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Swordsman] Bronze: [Ra's Al Ghul]

The Podium!
In such an aggressive sport few would expect the German sweep to be led by the playful X-Man, Nightcrawler! It was he and his countryman, Andreas von Strucker, that duked it out for the gold in an unlikely fencing final!

Ra's Al Ghul put Deathstroke down with sheer skill and grace with the blade, but was unable to match the speed, skill, and teleporting evasions of the eventual gold medallist. Their battles were but few of this hotly contested sport that garnered a surprising amount of attention, boasting a diverse range of competitors, including; Blade, Deadpool, Silver Samurai, and Ronin -- who sacrificed what many felt was an assured medal in the archery to compete!

Artistic Gymnastics Gold: Nightwing (USA)
Real Name: [Dick Grayson]
Win Percentage: [75%] Cumulative Rank: [#33]
Year One: [1940] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Nightcrawler] Bronze: [Deadman]

The Podium!
The rings might have been called the trapeez as former circus performers took centre stage in the artistic gymnastics. Nightcrawler looked to get the daily double, but struggled in the dying moments against the stoic performance of Nightwing. Those close to the industry pointed to Wagner's time spent with another event that left him second to Grayson's dedication.

Deadman proved a crowd favourite in his performance that narrowly budged out the acrobatic feats of Elektra, Black Canary, and Black Panther.
Protests came from groups disappointed by the mixed gender competition, feeling the women were judged more harshly than the men, but if this was the case, their voices were sure to be heard come the rhytmic gymnastics, which saw a total reversal of roles.

Rhythmic Gymnastics Gold: Spider-Woman (Britain)
Real Name: [Jessica Drew]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#214]
Year One: [1977] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Chun-Li] Bronze: [Daredevil]

The Podium!
A landslide victory in the rhytmnic gymnastics completely silence critics who felt mixed gender competition was counter-productive. Some might say it would be the traditional exclusivity of the rhythmic form that handed Spider-Woman the win, but when you take into account the dramatic scores, near perfect, other suspicions creep in. Infinite Wars officials have not launched any investigation, denouncing accusations of cheating as absurd, but we wonder!

Judges were not unkind to the silver and bronze.
Chun-Li's floor skills were unrivalled, while Daredevil undoubtedly rode his handling of the baton to a podium finish. Most would have to agree that the big disappointment, however, was Henry McCoy, whose struggles with dexterity left him performing well below what we know he has been capable of. It was presumably this that led him to pull out of the artistic event.

Judo Gold: Batman (USA)
Real Name: [Bruce Wayne]
Win Percentage: [68.57%] Cumulative Rank: [#1]
Year One: [1939] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Tommy Jagger] Bronze: [Kingpin]

The Podium!
The Dark Knight detective has been a dominant force in the Infinite Wars so when it came to pitting his diverse skills against his contemporaries in sporting conquests, many expected a clean sweep. Pipped at the post by Ghost Rider, the Batman would have to wait to his chosen martial art, Judo, to actually pick up an event victory.

Son-of-Judomaster, Tommy Jagger, played an obvious second, with Kingpin sneaking in the back to send a bulky reminder of his own muscular prowess and fighting abilities!

Taekwondo Gold: Ryu (Japan)
Real Name: [Ryu]
Win Percentage: [42.86%] Cumulative Rank: [#16]
Year One: [1987] Company: [Capcom]
Silver: [Iron Fist] Bronze: [Jin Kazama]

The Podium!
Taekwondo split the martial artists down the middle, but invited a range of strikers and practitioners of alternate styles to compete successfully.
As might be expected of an Infinite Wars Games, the TKD attracted some of the largest numbers of competitors, but eventually the glut of martial arts experts were whittled down to three, but not without controversy!

The Lin Kuei warrior, Hydro, launched into an unprecedented assault on officials when his match against Black Canary began to shift in the Canary's favour. The feeble attack was quickly ended by other officials on hand, and earnt the martial artist a lifetime ban from competition. Not that really matters given that his life was promptly ended by Scorpion [Mortal Kombat: Blood & Thunder #4].

Japan's success in the traditional Korean art was punctuated by bronze from iron fist fighter, Jin Kazama.
Iron Fist successfully split the difference, struggling against the rounded attack of Ryu's strikes.

Weight Lifting Gold: Hulk (USA)
Real Name: [Dr. Bruce Banner]
Win Percentage: [58.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#5]
Year One: [1962] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Superman] Bronze: [Wonder Man]

The Podium!
Famous for once holding the weight of a mountain on his shoulders; the incredible Hulk lived up to his title, using sheer determination to overcome the mighty muscles of his opposition. The usual suspects were present to cast aspertions over the validity of gamma-irradiated enhancements, but in a world of gods and monsters, who can really say what is unfair in these games?

Wonder Man put on a show for the fans in the early goings [ala; West Coast Avengers Annual #5], but was swamped by his physical superiors. The bronze didn't deter his enthusiasm for crowds who were keen to interview the media savvy superhero. The gold medallist was much less receptive to press, opting to spend his time skulking in the dark corners of the Infinite Wars village.

Wrestling Gold: Hercules (Greece)
Real Name: [Heracles]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#530]
Year One: [1965] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Thing] Bronze: [Zangief]

The Podium!
The battle against evil is a non-stop regime, but preperation can so often prove to be the difference in the lead-up to an event like the Infinite Wars Olympic Games. As one of the rising stars of 2008, anticipation surrounding Hercules' entry into these games, and win the wrestling, he did not disappoint.

Thing looked assured to give the original Olympian a run for his money, but off the back of recent struggles [Hulk vs Hercules: When Titans Collide], the prince of power summoned an immense reserve that may or may not have left judges questioning the legality of his moves. Avoiding suspension, Hercules led the charge of a superhuman pankration pummeling!

Purists would have been happy to see Russian superstar, Zangief, walk away with a bronze, the 'Red Tornado Czar of Wrestling' representing the presence of non-superpowered powerhouses. He proved to be the chief hopeful of the Russian team, whose presence was understated in the superhero stakes.

Sprinting Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Wally West]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#20]
Year One: [1959] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Zoom] Bronze: [Superman]

The Podium!
Action on the track, as with any games, was one of the most eagerly anticipated moments of these Infinite Wars Olympics. The internal rivalry of US representatives, Flash and Superman, was the main event of the sprints, everyone keen to confirm their own theories of the superior.

Completed with a multi-coloured blur, it was quite literally a super-photo finish that revealed the winner as the Flash! His mastery of sonic speeds gave the scarlet speedster an instant victory, overcoming his opponents in the blink of an eye. It was a record setting score, putting Superman in third behind the staccato race run by Zoom, who appeared to materialize partway through the track.

Marathon Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Jay Garrick]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#255]
Year One: [1940] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Spitfire] Bronze: [Flash]

The Podium!
Longevity was the key to the marathon which was run over several million miles. The Golden Age Flash never looked to be truly challenged, fending off the pursuits of the British Invader, Spitfire, who, despite her youthful appearance, struggled to maintain the same unerring presence.

Barry Allen proved an unlikely entrant into the fray, appearing at the starting line from a vibrating vortex of time defying speeds. The long thought dead Flash proved relevance after death is a two-way street, giving the speedster legs to round-out the triple threat representation of the speed force Flashes!

Hurdles Gold: Flash (USA)
Real Name: [Wally West]
Win Percentage: [66.67%] Cumulative Rank: [#20]
Year One: [1959] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Superman] Bronze: [Batroc]

The Podium!
Those dissatisfied by the results of the sprint had an opportunity to place their bets once more as Superman and Flash went head to head, this time with the obstacle of periodic hurdles. The jumps managed to slow several competitors, but with a slower group on the whole, it was Batroc the Leaper who had the spring in his step to bounce his way to an admirable bronze!

Flash once again showed his superior speeds against the Man of Steel, undeterred by obstacles that were similarly leaped with ease by his JLA teammate. The high speed event was a preview of what was sure to be an exciting meet of the high jump, where Superman's leap would again be tested, this time under isolated conditions!

Long Jump Gold: Nova (USA)
Real Name: [Richard Rider]
Win Percentage: [33.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#85]
Year One: [1976] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Cannonball] Bronze: [Hulk]

The Podium!
While the track was lit up with the streaking blurs of speedsters, the long jump featured a similar treatment as each competitor blasted their way to record setting jumps. The last of the Nova Corps Centurian was in his element, rocketting ahead of the similarly legblurring blasts of Cannonball.

Hulk's conventional approach to the leap was the odd-style-out in an event that showcased those dwarfed and those boosted by rocket powered pounces.

High Jump Gold: Superman (USA)
Real Name: [Kal-El aka; Clark Kent]
Win Percentage: [58.33%] Cumulative Rank: [#4]
Year One: [1938] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Hulk] Bronze: [Toad]

The Podium!
A veritable swiss army knife of superhuman abilities; Superman's power to leap tall buildings in a single bound was what finally garnered a gold medal performance. He found himself once again pitted against the prowess of his Marvel counterpart, Hulk, whose impressive vertical leap is sometimes misinterpreted by the uninitiated as flight.

Strict rules kept soaring out of the event, despite the fantastic heights achieved in the field event. As with other events, bronze saw a drop from the high flying inhuman strengths of the top two, allowing Toad to represent the mutants of the world with his own springing step.

A French protest against the top heavy contest saw Batroc withdraw from the event mere moments before it's start. After suffering a crushing defeat in the event, a Captain Britain in good spirits said he was reminded of the cowardice shown by the French in the Second World War. The resulting brawl was expectedly short, swiftly ending the Frenchman's games.

Shotput Gold: Hercules (Greece)
Real Name: [Heracles]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#530]
Year One: [1965] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Olympian] Bronze: [Green Goblin]

The Podium!
Rivalries had feulled much of the action in the Infinite Wars Games.
Superman's tussles with the Hulk and Flash; Namor and Aquaman's aquatic rivalry; and the aborted battle of archers, Green Arrow and Hawkeye; were major moments in the games, but as the field events continued, a new rivalry was about to form within the ranks of the Greek team.

Hercules and Olympic spurred each other to medal winning performances, neither willing to concede to their highly competitive counterpart. The prowess of an army of Argonauts wasn't enough to put the wielder of the golden fleece over the line. Hercules, declaring himself king of the games, claimed his second gold with little to no humility. This boasting, however, was soon to come back to haunt him.

Discus Gold: Olympian (Greece)
Real Name: [Aristedes Demetrios]
Win Percentage: [0%] Cumulative Rank: [#497]
Year One: [1982] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Hercules] Bronze: [Captain America]

The Podium!
It was a mission of retribution as Olympian faced off once more against Hercules in a second toss, this time with the discus. Though the prince of power had the strength to push the discus to fantastic distances, it was technique and determination that launched Aristedes Demetrios' golden discs into the medal winning position.

For Olympian, who dedicated the victory to Helena Sandsmark, it proved to be an emotionally charged win. Demetrios described his gold medal as a testmant to the Greek people to whom he felt some responsibility as a super power that had failed them in the past. His struggles with mental illness were well documented in the Greek press during the nineties, but it seemed those troubles were definitely behind him, presenting a newly confident Olympian to the world.

Hammer Toss Gold: Thor (Asgard)
Real Name: [Thor]
Win Percentage: [35.71%] Cumulative Rank: [#19]
Year One: [1962] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Ronan] Bronze: [Steel]

The Podium!
The Kree presence at these Infinite Wars Games served a reminder to the bar placed on Skrull competitors. Commentary provided by Kl'rt, the original Super-Skrull, ignited outrage from the Kree representation when he described them as vultures picking at the Skrulless scraps of these mostly human oriented competitions.

Ronan had plenty of accusations to dish out, many of them overlapping with previous events, if not the moral fibre of the Super-Skrull and his people. Ronan claimed many unsuccessful competitors had actually been Skrulls in disguise as others, but officials assured no Skrull was able to bypass newly developed detection technologies provided by Reed Richards, who had cracked methods used to successfully disguise their presence.

The many distractions probably didn't help Ronan's performance in the hammer toss, but there was never any question that a newly resurrected Thor was going to blitz the competition. The Norse god of thunder showed a new maturity in his throwing, approaching the technique with a calm serenity that distanced him from previous outings. It was an impressive win!

Javelin Gold: Javelin (Galador)
Real Name: [Darin]
Win Percentage: [NA] Cumulative Rank: [NR]
Year One: [1982] Company: [Marvel Comics]
Silver: [Scorpion] Bronze: [Hawkman]

The Podium!
As the Infinite Wars Games wound down to it's final events, the strangest collection of competitors gathered for the javelin. Hercules and Olympian's dedication to the ancient events overlooked the javelin, leaving the competition wide open to some of the less likely competitors!

Javelin; Spaceknight ally of ROM [pictured]; proved the ultimate chucker of this particular round. Scorpion's expertise with the roped ninja spear gave him the throwing strength to put in a good show, while Hawkman's expertise with medieval weaponry, including spears and javelins, gave him a strong bronze.

Shooting Gold: Deadshot (USA)
Real Name: [Floyd Lawton]
Win Percentage: [50%] Cumulative Rank: [#191]
Year One: [1950] Company: [DC Comics]
Silver: [Bullseye] Bronze: [Deathstroke]

The Podium!
Though not actually the final event to begin, the marathon shooting rounds continued throughout the games as crackshots tried to seperate themselves through a seemingly endless tie. Few stuck around to witness the gunmen in action, but it's said it got quite lively as competitors tried various (lethal) techniques to put each other off.

Bullseye, the favourite of the event, found himself tripped up by the cunning and marksmanship of Deadshot. So confident was Deadshot he was glad to shoot with one eye tied behind his mask, matching the imparement of Deathstroke.

Shooters including Punisher, Deadpool, Cable, Black Widow, and the Phantom engaged runaway competitors after the event. No fatalities were recorded, but Kurtis Stryker was said to have been grazed by several of his own bullets, all shot directly into the air above him. Remember kids - guns aren't toys!

That wraps up the 2008 Infinite Wars Olympic Games!
For disgruntled response and updates on investigations into cheat claims you can refer to the comments! Stay tuned on the Infinite Wars for more exciting competition including more hand-to-hand combat, belated Olympic references, and the top statistical powers as voted by you! (Remember, head to the top right to vote in that final poll!)

C2C OLYMPIAD: THE SUPERHUMAN GOLD STANDARD!
It's Olympic season on the Infinite Wars, which means, after spotlighting some of the characters you know and love, we can turn our attentions away from cinemas to get back to what's important -- super fights!

Last week it was all about the martial arts, but we told you we like the big time clashes between Hulk and Hercules, and we're stripping all that "skill" stuff away to get down and dirty with exactly that! On offer is a selection of the finest fist-pounding power of the supermen from Marvel and DC! What could be more Olympic than that? That actually isn't a rhetorical question...

Get whipped up into a frenzy with these battles because in tomorrow's update we're bringing you our very own Infinite Wars Olympic Games, pitting the ranked heroes and villains against one and other in the sporting arena! We'll be abound in Fantasy League points as we dish out medals under the most debatable and dubious of thematic circumstances!
You should also keep an eye on the top right for polls to determine the dominant forces of our seven sciences of victory! Enough of the hoohah, let's get ready to rumble!

Tales to Astonish #79 (May 1966)
"The Titan and the Torment!" Lee/Everett/Kirby
Those puny humans are always harassing Hulk, but if military green and weapons of destruction aren't to the jade giant's liking, how about the pounds of pressure produced by the son of Zeus?

On his way to begin a career in Hollywood, Hercules will come face-to-face for the very first time with an opponent that will continue to offer the prince of power a sporting opponent! When his train is derailed, Hercules steps up, ready to meet gamma-irradiated strength however it may be dealt!

It's an all-star line-up both on and off the page as a triple threat of Stan Lee, Bill Everett and Jack Kirby do what they do best: tell face-cracking superhero action epics!

Incredible Hulk #205 (November 1976)
"Do Not Forsake Me!" Wein/Buscema/Staton
Hercules a little too obvious an opponent for your tastes?
Do you require something less predictable to whet your increasing appetite for destruction? Want a rarer thrill to add to your Infinite Wars campaign? How about the obscure automaton menace that once successfully drained the strength of Thor?!

The robotic Crypto-Man has been revived by a mysterious mad scientist, and in his quest for power, he'll pit this mechanical muscle against the most powerful bruiser on the planet -- the Hulk!

This time the trio is Len Wein, Sal Buscema, and Joe Staton, and the stakes are even higher! Hulk's alien love interest, Queen Jarella, finds herself in a crossfire that might yet claim her life, and change the Hulk's outlook forever!

Action Comics #713 (September 1995)
"Scarlet Salvation" Michelinie/Dwyer/Rodier
In 1993 the world watched in awe as an alien menace called Doomsday arrived on planet Earth to do what many thought impossible -- kill the Man of Steel!

Doomsday and Superman seemingly struck each other down in the centre of Metropolis, but the last son of Krypton soon found his way back to life, returning to champion the greater good of humanity!

Some people proved unconvinced by Superman's miraculous return. People like convicted mass murderer, Ramsey Murdoch. Believing the new Superman to bet another fake perpetrated by the likes of Brainiac; Murdoch manifests latent psychokinetic abilities that allow him to reshape the world as he sees fit, and march against the Superman with the conviction of a madman who believes himself a saviour!

Hawkman #24 (March 2004)
"Black Reign" Johns/Morales
Once, centuries ago, Theo-Adam of Khandaq was the Wizard Shazam's chosen warrior to defend good in the world. By invoking the magic word of the wizard's name, Adam was transformed into a magically enhanced dark knight with the power of the Egyptian gods!

Centuries after Black Adam succumbed to the temptation of brutality and evil, he once again spills blood on the sands of Khandaq, this time in the name of the greater good. Having betrayed the trust of the Justice Society of America; Adam leads a small group of insurgents to overthrow the dictatorship of his homeland in order reclaim it.

Standing in his way is the successor to the Shazam powers - Captain Marvel! In this clash of magically powered titans it will prove to be the wisdom of Zehuti that wins the day!

Captain Atom: Armageddon #1 (December 2005)
"A Scream Across the Sky" Pfeifer/Camuncoli
A cosmic mission to stop the impending destruction of Earth by Kryptonite meteorite sends Captain Atom on a suicide mission into the unknown. The hero, coated in alien alloy, succesfully curbs doom, but in doing so, triggers a quantum shift that throws him through time and space!

When the Captain next awakes he finds himself on a strange parallel Earth, embued with a new golden sheen. The glaze of his alien shell attracts unwanted attention in a world that has been conditioned to fear and loathe the presence of super powered individuals.

When Mr. Majestic intervenes it's an all-out energy blasting war as he unleashes his atomic fury against the Kherubian authority!

SMASH HITS: CASSIUS


Cassius - Feeling For You (1999)
August is almost-Olympics month on the Infinite Wars! To reflect the spirit of the games the Smash Hits will be dedicated to artists from around the world! Artists like French electro duo, Cassius!

'Feeling for you' follows on from the success of the titular track from Cassius debut album, 1999. The pair resurrect their music video avatar for a second outing, this time in a more narrative affair that brings the Deadman-inspired disco hero into conflict with the evil overlords of a major record company!

Drawing upon pop culture cues that include references to Batman (C signal & sixties cuts), Superman (port-a-potty change), and the Phantom (C ring?); the French pair lay down a dance track that succeeds at being subtle, but also catchy. Still a long way from Daft Punk or Air, I find this track most memorable for it's video, but if you're feeling daring, give Toop Toopa whirl!

No doubt we'll check in with Cassius 1999 sometime in the future, but don't worry fanboys! Viewing the videos out of order will not hinder your enjoyment of continuity. Haw!